How to Kiss and Make Up, GinXHiji Style

-In which Gintoki and Hijikata 'go at it like rabbits', some things are explained, more things are left to the imagination, and most of the side characters get some long-awaited screen time-

Hijikata was getting cranky. His supply of mayonnaise was running low. Of course it would, I only prepared for two days, but the bastard must get himself all beat up and we have to stay a week instead, he grumbled internally, conveniently forgetting that not only was he the reason Gintoki was wounded, but also that he was the one that had asked for the extended leave. Hijikata was an uncharitable person when suffering withdrawal from mayonnaise rationing.

"Why the hell can you get Jump and I can't get mayonnaise?" he demanded of his Sacrifice, who was blissfully rereading the manga magazine in the comfort of the hotel bed.

"Hmm… maybe they have more mayo-freaks in Tokyo than at home," suggested Gintoki absently. "So they're always sold out."

"Fuck." Hijikata kicked the foot of the bed. "I hate you, you know that?"

"A bad name is simply a far with consonants." Gintoki turned a page. "I'm sure you can come up with better endearments than that."

"That's it. You can do your own treatment today. You're almost healed already, dammit," grumbled the Fighter.

"Someone seems to have forgotten that they owe me," commented Gintoki to the room at large.

"Asshole, I said sorry already!" shouted Hijikata, still sore about his failure to defend his Sacrifice. "What else do you want, huh? You want to tie me up with some of Sougo's more inventive toys? Or just beat me up till I'm as bruised as you were in the fight?"

"Nothing so drastic." His Sacrifice had put down his Jump. He was serious. "Just… can you do the medicine for me one more time?"

Hijikata narrowed his eyes at Gintoki, suspicious. "That's it?" Taking the silver-haired male's silence for acquiescence, he huffed and went to get the first-aid kit, then plonked himself down on the bed. "Hurry up," he ordered.

Gintoki pushed away the covers and began to undo the belt that held his kimono on. "I still don't get why you must wear so much," muttered Hijikata, just because he felt like complaining. "It makes my job that much harder."

Again, his Sacrifice didn't answer, which made Hijikata even more pissed. It was easier to rant at Gintoki when Gintoki was ranting back at him. "Oi, say something, you bastard!"

"If I talk, you get pissed; if I don't talk, you still get pissed. You're as hard to please as any woman, you know?" said Gintoki by way of reply. His shirt was now off.

"Stop with the comparisons to women. I am not a girl," retorted Hijikata, slapping ointment with unnecessary force onto Gintoki's almost-healed scars. "I'll thank you to remember it."

"Ouch! Yes, ma'am, or sir, or okama-san, or whatever you want to be called," answered his Sacrifice.

Hijikata knew he was being baited, but he blew his top anyway. "Fuck off, you goddamn son of a bitch! You pathetic burnt-balls asshole with dead-fish eyes who couldn't screw anyone even if he tried and can only get off on bad porn videos –"

"I thought so too," remarked Gintoki. "Maybe I should do something about it, eh?"

Belatedly, Hijikata realized that Gintoki was much too close for comfort. "Hey, back off, you stupid bastard! You want me to fall off?" he blustered, trying in vain to avoid the glowing crimson eyes that were boring into his own.

"Shut the fuck up," whispered Gintoki, and then he was kissing Hijikata, his arms were pulling the Fighter close, and Hijikata's trail of insults withered and died. The fuck… Hijikata's mind churned as the cogs inside struggled to process this sudden information overload. Damn he kisses good, a very distant, still unaffected part of his mind noted.

The glass bottle of medicinal ointment smashed on the floor, and the crash brought Hijikata back to his senses. He shoved Gintoki away. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, asshole?" he shouted. His voice rasped, much to his embarrassment.

"What does it look like?" The smile on Gintoki's face wasn't particularly sweet, but for some reason it made the hairs at the back of Hijikata's neck stand up and his ears burn hotly.

"Bastard, I told you I'm not a fucking girl! Are you so sexually deprived that you're willing to screw anything with a hole in it?" demanded the Fighter. "Like I said last time, we could call one of the hotel maids in; I'm pretty sure Takasugi wired us enough money –"

"You can't take a hint, can you?" Gintoki's hand gripped Hijikata's collar and yanked. The next thing he knew, he was flat on the bed, and Gintoki was kneeling over him, pulling his yukata apart. "Whoever said I wanted a girl?"

The warmth of Gintoki's palms on his chest was making Hijikata's brain stall and flicker like an old movie. "The shit… get away from me… this is goddamn rape, you asshole!" He struggled half-heartedly, the heat of embarrassment and, to his dismay, lust washing over him in a paralyzing wave.

"Hmm? This here seems to like me right where I am," commented the Sacrifice, shamelessly groping Hijikata's nether regions. "'Sides, Zura did say Fighters and Sacrifices usually end up lovers, so it's not like anyone's gonna say anything about either of us being gay."

Hijikata gasped, his body responding to the touch despite himself. "Fuck!"

"We'll get to that," Gintoki told him. "Patience, mayo." His hands were moving back up to Hijikata's torso, tracing tantalizing lines on the muscles, which twitched under this unexpected treatment.

"Shut it about the mayo." Deciding that if his dignity was already this far gone, the rest could just go to hell, Hijikata grabbed a handful of silver hair and crashed their mouths together in a rough kiss. Gintoki responded at once, tongue flicking across Hijikata's lips even as his teeth nipped at their edges. Hijikata gasped at the sudden pain as the thin skin broke, and Gintoki took the opportunity to slip his tongue into his mouth. The Fighter felt slightly better about the gasp when Gintoki groaned deep in his throat, one hand burying itself in his dark hair and the other gripping his waist almost painfully tightly.

They separated only when air became an undeniable necessity. Hijikata was panting deeply, as was Gintoki; he could feel something hard digging into his thigh, and could see the tell-tale tent in his own yukata. His face was flushed from a combination of awkwardness (hell, this was still another guy, Fighter and Sacrifice or no), lust and the simple heat of skin on skin. His yukata was more than half-off, and in the course of the kiss, Gintoki's pants had become unbuttoned too. The silver-haired Sacrifice's eyes were blood-crimson; Hijikata felt as though the room temperature had risen several degrees as those eyes trailed appreciatively over his exposed body. "Staring is rude," he informed his Sacrifice with as much irritation as he could muster.

Gintoki smiled slowly, and Hijikata felt a shiver race down his spine. "How could I not stare? You're as sexy as my favorite parfait, all flushed like a strawberry and pale as vanilla."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" demanded Hijikata.

"Oh, yes." His Sacrifice leant in suddenly for another kiss; when he pulled away, he saw Gintoki lick bright red droplets off his lips. "You taste even better than ice cream."

Hijikata didn't know he could turn even redder until then. "Shut up and do something useful, would you?" he growled, pulling the silver-haired male down so that their hard lengths brushed against each other. Neither could repress a gasp, and Hijikata arched involuntarily into Gintoki's heat.

"Holy shit…" Gintoki's eyes rolled up; his whole body trembled at the sudden harsh contact. "Okay, okay, I'm working on it!"

It wasn't long before they had both shed their remaining clothes. Hijikata was long past the point of no return; he really couldn't care less now about the fact that this was the nose-picking, sugar-high, porn-watching bastard Gintoki he was about to have sex with. What he did care about was getting that sex – the sooner the better. His hormones were raging rampant through his blood and brain, and the sight of Gintoki's glowing red eyes, muscled body and unabashed arousal, only served to make them rage even more fiercely.

"Eager, aren't you?" Gintoki groaned pleasurably as Hijikata pressed close, sinking his teeth into his Sacrifice's neck. "To think you were the one being all bitchy and scared as a virgin just now."

As it happened, Hijikata wasn't the pathetic sort who didn't get anything like any. He did get some. Underage though he was, Hijikata was more than capable of faking is way past drunken bar bouncers. It had been a sort of denial, a confirmation that he was straight in every way and that the night with Gintoki had been a complete mistake due to both of them being so drunk neither could see straight. He had wanted to affirm that he still liked girls and they still liked him (he'd heard someone somewhere – the voice was unnervingly like Sougo's – saying that brothel girls could smell a gay a mile away and was testing that theory out; since they seemed perfectly happy, he had been greatly reassured). So, Hijikata really wasn't all that deprived of sex.

But there was somehow something different when Gintoki touched him, different from when the prostitutes pressed close to him. The voluptuous curves of the women had never been able to set every single nerve in his body on fire, the way Gintoki's hard muscles did. Hijikata was fairly sure he had never been quite so demanding or animalistic when it came to sex, but it seemed that Gintoki never followed rules of any sort (wasn't he still supposed to be recovering from the battle?). He considered mentioning this fact, in the form of a complaint, of course, but forgot about it – forgot just about everything but his own name – when Gintoki's tongue traced his ear, Gintoki's hand slid down to massage his thighs, Gintoki's nails scraped on the rough flesh of his arousal oh god-fucking-damn he couldn't take much more –

He came, gasping as fireworks went off behind his eyelids and the excruciatingly wonderful pressure was relieved. "…Fuck," he panted, keeping his eyes closed as he recovered.

"Mm… I knew you'd taste good," Gintoki commented. A very strange but also very arousing mental image popped up in the Fighter's mind at the remark, the distinct slurping sound and the implications of the combination, but he was still too knocked up to pay it the attention it deserved. "But we're not done yet, Hijikata-kun…"

The sudden, rather ominous blunt pressure at his rear end brought Hijikata back to his senses with a jolt. "Wait –" He choked back a moan of pleasure as Gintoki ravished his ears and neck with disturbing oral dexterity; fire seemed to pour from the areas of contact straight to his lower body, where his recently spent arousal was beginning to perk up again. "Lube, you idiot, do you have lube?"

"There's plenty here," murmured the silver-haired Sacrifice, the vibrations of his voice right beside Hijikata's ear sending involuntary thrills down his spine.

Hijikata craned to see what Gintoki was referring to, only to be presented with a pool of his own seed, lavishly slathered on his shameless Sacrifice's hands. His already lust-heated face becoming hotter by several degrees, the Fighter latched onto Gintoki's ear and bit down. Hard.

Gintoki yelped. "Ow! What was that for? It's perfectly good lube! 'Sides, I bet it all feels the same once it's inside –" Hijikata rotated his jaw, mauling the unfortunate ear further. "Ouch! Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"

"Shut up, bastard, and fuck me," ordered Hijikata, out of patience.

"You don't have to ask." The silver-haired Sacrifice crashed his lips onto Hijikata's in a bruising, heated kiss, plundering his mouth so fiercely that the Fighter was distracted from anything taking place below waist level for several seconds. Only when they broke apart did Hijikata register the discomfort in his ass. Seeing the look in the dark-haired male's eyes, Gintoki grinned. "I'm fine if you don't want preparation, you know."

The Fighter's eyes widened. No way was he going to let Gintoki shove in raw. But hell, did it feel weird! "Please tell me your cock feels better than your fingers."

"I wouldn't know," replied his Sacrifice, crimson eyes glittering – in mischief or lust, it was impossible to tell. "You could tell me, though." The fingers in his rear end disappeared, to be replaced by a much broader, warmer pressure on his entrance. Instinctively, Hijikata tensed, but Gintoki started kissing him again, teeth and tongue massaging, teasing, distracting, while a hand fisted Hijikata's renewed arousal, bringing it to full hardness.

As renewed waves of heat-desire washed through his body, the Fighter felt his muscles loosen and a warm, hard length slide into him and oh fuck this is goddamned uncomfortable why the shit do gays do this? About to express this opinion, Hijikata nearly bit his tongue as Gintoki shifted in him and something happened that – good god maybe this buttsex thing actually has something going for it – made fireworks go off behind his closed eyelids. "Fuck!"

"Doing that already," gasped Gintoki, panting deeply. "God, Hijikata, you're so amazingly hot like this…" A moan escaped his lips, deep and feral and so needy-sex that would probably have reduced them both to puddles of embarrassment if they were bothering about their pride that this point. Experimentally, Hijikata rocked his hips, grinding down further onto Gintoki, and was rewarded by a second, even needier groan. "Hijikata…!"

Slowly at first, but quickly getting faster, they rocked together, finding a rhythm that made Hijikata gasp with pleasure and Gintoki's grip on his hips tighten convulsively each time they slammed together. Hijikata's hands fisted the mangled sheets hard enough to rip them; the heat of skin on skin and of Gintoki around him, in him, driving deeper into him with every thrust, molding their two bodies into one made him abandon any last semblance of thought. He could feel the deep throbbing, the sensation of excruciatingly pleasurable pressure at the base of his member, and somehow managed to gasp, "I can't – hold on – any more –"

Gintoki's crimson eyes flashed. "Scream my name, Tosshi. Come for me."

Hijikata didn't even consider objecting. As his vision went white and the pressure was finally relieved, he could feel his mouth form the syllables of his Sacrifice's name, his vocal cords vibrating, straining, the scream ripping from his throat as every muscle in his body snapped tight. At the same time, he felt warm fluid gush inside his body and Gintoki too tensed and came.

They collapsed onto the mauled bed, spent. Hijikata could feel sticky semen in him, on him, around him on the sheets, could smell the sharp odor of sex permeating the air, but couldn't bring himself to care very much. Gintoki's warm weight rolled off to settle beside him. He was still breathing hard; he could tell that his Sacrifice was too. "God…"

Hijikata considered his options. He could complain at Gintoki, go to sleep and pretend that nothing had happened, or talk to the bastard like a civilized being. Debating between the first two choices (he didn't feel particularly up to civilized conversation), he heard his Sacrifice speak first. "That was amazing… we ought to do that again sometime…"

"Bastard," muttered Hijikata, settling on the new option of insulting Gintoki.

"Aw, now don't be like that, sweetie. We were getting along fine just now," wheedled his Sacrifice.

"Please, call me anything but that." The Fighter's teeth all but creaked at the horrible nickname.

Gintoki grinned. "Oh, so I can call you honey, sugar, cupcake, muffi–" He was interrupted by a large pillow slamming onto his face.

"I have a name, jerk!" Hijikata, having sat up to free the pillow for use as a weapon, now glared down at his momentarily subdued Sacrifice.

"And a very nice name it is too, Tosshi," replied Gintoki blithely, slightly muffled by the pillow.

"Just shut up and let me sleep, will you? God!" The Fighter collapsed back onto the bed as the sated post-coital lethargy washed over him, urging him to sleep. The shit did they say about pairs bonding after going through difficult fights… I think it's more like his mind has been completely rearranged, he thought grumpily. The stupid bastard's gotten all mushy. Lucky me.

"If you say so." A hand slipped over his waist, even as Hijikata slid into the welcoming darkness of sleep.

x x

Hijikata woke up to water pounding down on him. Fairly certain he had not gone to sleep under a waterfall, he opened his eyes slowly. Someone was supporting his body, and hands were gently caressing his shoulders and running through his hair. "… Gintoki?"

The hands paused, then started moving again. "Ah, fuck. I was trying to let you sleep. Seems that I failed." There was a faint tinge of guilt along with the self-deprecation in his voice. "Relax, Tosshi. I won't jump you right now."

The dark-haired Fighter braced himself against the glass wall of the shower stall, twisting his head to look at his Sacrifice. "How noble of you." There was a pause as Hijikata fumbled for the words to express his still very confused state of mind. "… Gintoki?"

"Yes, Tosshi?" The older man's voice rumbled in his chest, sending slight vibrations through Hijikata's body. It was oddly comforting.

"Why did you… well." Hijikata felt a blush rise in his cheeks and was grateful that he had had the presence of mind to turn his back on his Sacrifice. "You know. Fuck me."

Water splashed down on both of them, seemingly louder in Hijikata's ears as Gintoki did not answer immediately. His hands still moved on Hijikata's skin, but there was a new mechanical quality to the touch that had previously been so gentle. Then, after what seemed like an interminable silence, the silver-haired Sacrifice said, "I wanted to."

"What?" He had heard perfectly clearly, even though the words had been barely above a whisper and nearly drowned out by the gurgle of the water. Gintoki's lips were just behind his ear, and his head had just dropped to rest on Hijikata's shoulder. The dark-haired Fighter was not expecting this sudden show of weakness, and his question was a reflection of his surprise, both at the action and at the words themselves.

"I said I wanted to fuck you. For a long time. I just never got around to it until now." Suddenly Hijikata was pushed flat against the wall of the shower stall, pinned there by Gintoki's warm weight. Teeth nipped at his ear, eliciting a sharp, surprised gasp from the Fighter. "And now that we've started, I really don't see any reason to stop…"

"Wait!" Hijikata wriggled, trying – and failing – to dislodge his errant Sacrifice. "You didn't – nnh – explain anything! What about those porn videos you're always watching? And I definitely told you to forget about that goddamn one-night-stand!"

Gintoki detached himself from Hijikata's neck, which he had been alternately biting and then kissing the bites better, long enough to consider and answer his Fighter's question. He did not, however, allow Hijikata to turn around. "Those were kinda related, I guess… you told me to forget, I couldn't forget, I tried to forget because I knew if I tried to jump you I'd get bruised balls or worse, and so I used the porn to get you off my mind. I wasn't quite as sloshed as you were; I did have an idea of what was going on."

Here he took the opportunity to run his tongue up the younger Fighter's neck and warmly lathe the other, as yet untouched ear. Hijikata hissed, arching in spite of himself. Everything Gintoki did felt so damned good

"There was just something about you… well, the drink definitely helped, I was pretty well buzzed by then," said Gintoki. "And your long hair was certainly a plus. You, on the other hand, were so disoriented and confused it was seriously cute. The helpless damsel-in-distress thing. Ow!"

Hijikata, not about to let the damsel-in-distress slur pass without protest, had stamped hard on his Sacrifice's toes, resulting in the rewarding yelp from Gintoki. "I'm a guy, you bastard! And stop rambling. Get to the point."

"Okay, okay!" Gintoki gingerly put his weight back onto his damaged foot. "Well, to put it bluntly, you were pretty damn hot when you were buzzed – at least to the equally-buzzed me at that time. So I took you to the hotel. Then you got so upset the next day, I figured it would be best to act as though it was all an accident. But I couldn't stop thinking about what it might be like to do it again, when we were both fully aware instead of drunk."

The water pounded down on them both, a counterpoint rhythm to the heartbeat thudding loudly in Hijikata's ears. An odd sense of foreboding was rising in him, but he ignored it in favor of hearing Gintoki out.

"…That's basically it," admitted the silver-haired Sacrifice. "Call me a pervert if you want, but having you so near and yet being unable to touch you was really bad. I probably would've jumped you before this if I hadn't found out about Sougo's selling porn."

While he'd been talking, Gintoki had stopped his ministrations, only keeping Hijikata pressed up against the glass and his hands caught above his head. The dark-haired Fighter leaned his head against the cool glass, trying to get his mind to stop spinning with the sudden revelations. "The shit… what part of this is supposed to be Unfettered? We're the most chained people I've ever heard of," he muttered under his breath, not sure whether his voice shook from anger or disappointment. "Which bastard thought up this fucking system...? I never wanted… you never would've wanted…"

"It's not like that." Without warning, Hijikata was spun around so that he was facing his Sacrifice. Gintoki's eyes blazed red; they bored fiercely into Hijikata's dull blue ones. Lips crushed down on his in a bruising kiss, tongues battling for dominance as hips ground together. Hijikata moaned into the kiss, writhing under the sensory onslaught. Just as suddenly as it began, the kiss ended; Gintoki had pulled away, but his face remained inches from the Fighter's. "Would you rather this never happened? I don't. I like myself right where I am, here fucking you in a Tokyo hotel, and I don't give a damn what might or might not have happened if this screwed-up Fighter-Sacrifice system didn't have the clause on Fighters and Sacrifices becoming lovers. You're right, this probably wouldn't have happened if there wasn't that stupid rule, but I'm happy it happened. Are you?"

"I'm – fuck, I don't know." Hijikata closed his eyes, unable to meet that burning crimson gaze. "I guess I just need to get used to… this. To us."

Warmth engulfed first one, then the other of his nipples, sucking luxuriously. Hijikata gasped, his eyes snapping open and his breathing speeding up. "Well, nobody said you can't have fun while you get used to it, or that I can't help you get used to it," said Gintoki, grinning up at him.

"Son of a bitch," retorted the Fighter, but there was considerably less bite in the insult than usual. "If you want to fuck me, get on with it. We're wasting water here."

Gintoki's eyes glowed deep red. "You asked for it." Before Hijikata could even brace himself, his silver-haired Sacrifice was taking him, hard. The younger Fighter barely managed to choke back a scream, releasing it as a stifled moan instead. It definitely helped that he still seemed to be loose from their earlier exertions, and the pain wasn't quite as bad as it could have been otherwise.

As if to make up for his roughness, Gintoki was handling Hijikata's upper body with considerably more care, trailing his lips and tongue over the dark-haired Fighter's clavicle and neck while giving him time to adjust to his sudden entrance. Hijikata couldn't restrain the urge to struggle, temporarily forgetting the pain, as Gintoki's tongue dipped into the hollow between his collarbones, sending sparks through his body. "God, Gintoki…"

"You alright?" His Sacrifice pulled away, checking him with something like concern. "Lube wouldn't hold up very well in all this water, so…"

Hijikata sighed and grabbed a fistful of Gintoki's naturally-permed hair, yanking his head close to reconnect their lips. They parted after a short but heated clash. "Like I said, if you want to fuck me, get on with it. But if you want to talk, get your cock out of my ass."

Gintoki smirked. "I love it when you talk dirty." Before Hijikata could come up with a suitable retort, his Sacrifice had done something that ended with Hijikata pressed face-first against the glass wall of the shower stall. Hijikata hissed, the cold glass feeling strange – but not in a bad way – on his hot, sensitive flesh.

"Look in the mirror." Gintoki seemed to be developing a habit of talking just behind Hijikata's ear, which invariably did funny things to his higher brain functions. The younger Fighter wasn't altogether sure whether this was a good thing or not. Despite his misgivings (the feeling of Gintoki rocking tantalizingly inside him probably had something to do with his obedience), he obeyed the order and looked.

"Holy shit. Turn me back around right now, you bastard!" demanded Hijikata, blushing furiously as he shut his eyes firmly. Looking at himself all splayed out like that was just wrong. His skin all flushed with heat from the water and the sex, his hair plastered to his head as water cascaded down, his body oddly contorted as he balanced precariously on his toes and on Gintoki's hips, and worst of all, his desire unmistakably hard and red pressed shamelessly against the glass – it was too much, too soon. He had barely adjusted himself to the idea of taking it up the ass, and now he was being forced to do the equivalent of watching hardcore gay porn.

"No," insisted Gintoki. "I want you to see yourself as I'm seeing you, and let me say again, you're goddamn sexy. Though, of course, the cat-features were a nice added bonus."

Against his will, Hijikata opened his eyes again, cautiously. "Hell, Gintoki, I don't want to see myself," he muttered, keeping his eyes only half open to avoid having to look at himself in that treacherous mirror.

"I want you to see how gorgeous, how fucking hot you are when you're getting screwed," murmured his contrary Sacrifice, still in that damnable position just behind his ear. "I want you to know you are beautiful and amazing."

Hijikata felt himself blushing again, but for a rather different reason. "You sappy pervert."

Gintoki's hands, one of which had been holding Hijikata's against the glass above his head and the other which had been steadying the Fighter's hips on his own, now slid around Hijikata's waist, fingering the muscles there with sinuous relish. At the same time, he moved his hips in such a way as to press against that sweet spot deep inside Hijikata, eliciting a deep, insistent moan from the dark-haired Fighter. "Fuck, Gintoki, stop playing around!" he growled, in a tone that could only be described as desperate as his hands scrabbled for purchase in the smooth glass.

"Sorry," replied his Sacrifice, though he was clearly not at all apologetic. Hijikata could see his grin clearly even in the steam-blurred glass. "I can't resist savoring you like I savor a parfait. Good things are best enjoyed slowly." He chuckled at Hijikata's half-outraged, half-pleading expression and moved his hands lower to grip his Fighter's arousal. "But since you're so obviously in need, I'll be nice."

And then there was nothing but Gintoki's heat against his back, Gintoki's hardness driving ever deeper into him and hitting that wonderful place that set off multicolored sparks behind his eyelids, Gintoki's hand supporting his head so deceptively gently, Gintoki's other hand rubbing and scraping and pleasuring his member until Hijikata could do nothing but scream –

There was something lewd, something indecent, something unimaginably erotic about watching himself being thoroughly debauched in the midst of steam, water and glass, all in that mirror from which he could not avert his gaze now, that mirror that was baring his unabashed desire before his horrified, traitorous, lustful eyes.

They came almost simultaneously, Hijikata's vision going white and his back arching sharply even as he felt Gintoki's muscles tense and teeth sink painfully into the juncture of neck and shoulder, warm fluid filling his insides while his own seed painted the glass.

Slowly, the thunder of Hijikata's heartbeat in his own ears receded, to be replaced by the softer splash of water from the shower, which was rapidly erasing the evidence of their activities in the past few minutes. After what seemed like an age, in which the pair of them stood leaning heavily against the glass and each other, Gintoki pulled out of him. Both of them were still panting deeply. "I told you… we ought to do it again," said Gintoki.

"Shut… up," breathed Hijikata. "Pervert."

Gintoki dragged his reluctant partner back under the full blast of the shower. "That's what you love about me, isn't it?"

"I said… shut up!" Hijikata tried to scold, but his words lost a significant amount of bite due to the lingering breathlessness.

"Good thing I know how to interpret your expressions of love," muttered Gintoki, pulling Hijikata close. "Now, unless you want to get fucked again, I suggest we both clean up and get out of this shower as soon as possible."

Hijikata pushed his clingy Sacrifice away in favor of grabbing the showerhead, only to find – to his dismay – that his legs refused to support him. He crumpled to the floor in an undignified heap. "Crap…"

Gintoki, grinning unashamedly, helped his partner up. "Looks like you need me to clean up, Tosshi."

"I hate you," grumbled the dark-haired Fighter, grudgingly allowing himself to be supported by Gintoki.

"I love you too," replied his Sacrifice, directing the showerhead over the sticky remains of their passion.

Hijikata fought the urge to pout like a child denied a toy. Being unable to stand after was definitely something to keep in mind when – if – they had sex again. "This is all your fault."

"Tell me you didn't enjoy it." Gintoki's voice was very clearly amused. He ran a thumb across Hijikata's swollen lips tantalizingly, causing the younger Fighter to swallow sharply.

"I hate you," repeated Hijikata, trying and failing to prevent a blush from rising in his cheeks. "I hate you, you naturally-permed pervert."

You are beautiful and amazing… the words still echoed in his mind. It was the nicest thing anyone, including Kondou-sensei, had ever said to him.

x x

They returned to Shichisei later that week, after several very anxious calls from a highly agitated Kondou-sensei demanding to know why they weren't back at the Academy by the scheduled time. Apparently, Takasugi was being scarily cryptic about what had befallen the pair. Hijikata was of the opinion that Takasugi had not been any such thing and Kondou had simply been too excitable to understand.

The first thing they saw on entering the paired Fighter-Sacrifice dorms was Sougo and Kagura in the middle of a heated fistfight in the corridor. Several floorboards and a good section of the nearby wall joined the already long and still growing casualty list as they watched. Hijikata made to pull the pair apart, only to be stopped by his Sacrifice. "They're having fun," Gintoki pointed out. Hijikata, noting the healthy flush on both teens' faces, shrugged and let it go.

"Would it be too much to hope their relationship hasn't progressed quite as far as ours has?" muttered Gintoki as they headed for their room, followed by the echoes of splintering wood and crashing brick.

Hijikata glanced sharply at the silver-haired Sacrifice. Before coming back, they had come to an agreement that whatever was going on between them (Hijikata still adamantly refused to call it love) was strictly private and would never be mentioned in public. Even with all the shit about Fighters and Sacrifices inevitably becoming an item, Hijikata didn't want to have to say it out loud or acknowledge it – it was rather like a "everyone knows so there's no need to say anything" kind of thing in his mind. The outing was the embarrassing part now that the physical barrier was over with.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Gintoki had a rather different attitude towards the agreement. The moment they reached the room, the silver-haired Sacrifice pushed Hijikata down to one of the beds (Gintoki's, it so happened. Hijikata knew because it didn't have the familiar smell of cigarette smoke that was by now an integral part of his own bed).

"Bastard, what do you think you're doing?" hissed the younger Fighter. "The walls here are cheap plywood! The whole dorm will hear us if you – ah!"

Gintoki had pulled Hijikata's kimono apart and was ravishing his bared nipples with evident relish. Hijikata took a few deep breaths, partly in an attempt to calm himself down after the surprise assault, partly to stave off the moan that was threatening to make itself heard. "You son of a bitch, I swear I'll kill you," he growled. "I only relearned how to walk in a straight line this morning!"

"Mmhmm…" Gintoki transferred his attentions to the dark-haired Fighter's neck, sucking and biting in a way that was sure to leave a giant hickey when they were done. "Well, you can always learn again."

"Oh dear, I didn't realize I would be… intruding," drawled a familiar voice. "To think you'd have gotten down to business so soon after returning. I thought you only came back five minutes ago."

Hijikata twisted his head as Gintoki shifted above him. In the open doorway was the unmistakable figure of Takasugi, clad in his usual brightly-patterned kimono and holding a smoking pipe in one hand. Behind him was Katsura (nobody else had such long hair now that Hijikata had cut his). Takasugi appeared highly amused, while Katsura looked quite expressionless as far as Hijikata could see (which wasn't very much, considering the unfavorable angle). Instinctively, Hijikata scrabbled at the blankets in a vain attempt to hide.

"My, my, Gintoki, so you've finally decided to overcome those stupid inhibitions of yours," commented the one-eyed teacher, still with that faintly-gloating air that seriously pissed Hijikata off. "I've been telling you since – when? It's the law of Fighter-Sacrifice pairs, to become lovers. You get stronger that way. My expectations of you will increase accordingly. Good day to you." The door slid shut, leaving a very flustered Hijikata and a relatively unshaken Gintoki.

"He didn't care at all," said Gintoki in a would-be reassuring manner, prying his Fighter's hands from the now-torn sheets. "Like he said, it's practically a law. Nobody could care less about Fighters and Sacrifices having a good steamy make-out session."

"I care," retorted Hijikata, not-petulantly. "I have no intention of becoming an exhibitionist, so if you would kindly get yourself off –" He blinked, then hurriedly rephrased himself as Gintoki smirked. "Off of me, that is, you perverted bastard!"

"Hmm… but we're already in the right place, and the packing can wait, right?" The silver-haired Sacrifice leaned down, connecting their lips and delving in with his tongue. When they broke apart, he added, "It's not like you don't like me either. If you didn't, why would you have let me screw you – what, fifty times over the past week?"

"Horny pervert," accused Hijikata, nonetheless not bothering to fend off Gintoki's wandering hands as they slipped under his kimono and pulled his knees up so that they gripped his Sacrifice's waist. They had had a lot of sex over the last few days, mostly due to Hijikata's mindset that if he'd consented to it once, his dignity wouldn't be much further affected by repetition.

"And that's why you love me," replied Gintoki blithely, now shamelessly pumping his Fighter's member under the kimono.

Suddenly, the door slammed open. "Tosshi!" exclaimed Kondou. "Takasugi-kun said something about you and Gintoki-kun having…" He trailed off, apparently rendered speechless by the scene before him. "Oh good heavens Tosshi, you're getting fucked! And I haven't even lost my virginity yet!" he cried, at full volume.

Hijikata covered his face with his hands. Trust Kondou-sensei to react like that… and trust Takasugi to go spreading the news around to exactly the worst people. At least they weren't naked yet. There must be some god after all.

"What's going on?" "Who's getting screwed?" "Hey, you, you're underage! Shoo!" By the sudden mix of voices, a crowd was gathering. Hijikata shoved Gintoki away, quickly readjusting his kimono and lighting a cigarette in hope of reclaiming his poise if not his pride. Gintoki, meanwhile, rolled over to lie on his back, nonchalantly picking his nose even as the crowd grew bigger and louder.

"Tosshi!" lamented Kondou-sensei, now blubbering as though his favorite dog just died. "I'm sorry! What kind of upbringing must I have given to you? Oh, I had hoped that you at least were safe, even if Sougo does have odd interests –"

"I think he raped Kagura and chained her up somewhere public," muttered Gintoki. "You better pay reparations to me for damage. I'm still her employer."

"Yeah, in name only. And you've had plenty of payment in advance, so forget about getting more," sniped Hijikata, knowing there wasn't much hope in defending Sougo. The brunette did have strange fetishes. Come to think of it, he wasn't too sure if both of them still had their cat-features, earlier in the corridor when they were fighting…

""Whoa, Hijikata, you've finally become a man," remarked an extremely recognizable monotonous voice. "Or should I say, a woman? I always thought you'd be the female in your relationship with boss there."

A red shape hurtled into the room, crashing onto the bed, which creaked and groaned most pitifully. "Gin-chan! You're back! And you're not covered in mayonnaise! Sougo said you'll become a mayora like the Original Mayora over there!"

"Hell no, I still want to eat my parfaits; I'm not gonna convert to dog food anytime soon," declared Gintoki, looking decidedly green around the gills at the very idea.

"What did you say about my mayonnaise?" demanded Hijikata in a way that all but screamed if-you-insult-my-mayonnaise-you-won't-be-getting-any-sex-for-a-month in bright red capitals.

"Ah – hm, well, I said nothing at all, just that I've been missing my regular parfaits. You know, nobody makes parfaits quite like the school cooks," said his Sacrifice, laughing very loudly and very forcedly. "Nobody said anything about mayonnaise, huh, Kagura?"

"No, I'm happy you're not going to become a mayora!" replied the China-girl brightly. "One is more than enou-" Before she could finish her sentence, Gintoki clamped a hand on her mouth and threw her out of the room.

Sougo stepped aside and let her crash through the door of the opposite room. "Boss, I'm just here to say that I haven't done anything to her… yet." An ominous grin, accompanied by a significant wave of his tail, and Sougo shut the door. The pair in the room could hear him saying, "Yeah, well, the two in there are going at it like rabbits, I'd say it's M-18 at the very least, but seriously it's nothing worth watching. Kondou-sensei, it's time for lunch; let's go."

As the crowd dispersed and Kondou's noisy sobbing receded, Hijikata strangled the air. "I'm going to kill Sougo. I really will. Rabbits! What the fuck?"

"Well, we haven't quite started it here, but we were definitely - to quote – 'going at it like rabbits' back in Tokyo," said Gintoki fairly. "And actually, we maybe should thank him. Now we can carry out our business undisturbed."

The dark-haired Fighter slapped away his Sacrifice's hands as they tried to sneak around his waist. "After I finish my smoke."

"Come on, I'm better than a cigarette, aren't I?" whined Gintoki.

Hijikata grinned. "Not by much."

"Huh. I don't know why I put up with all this," grumbled the older male, flopping back onto his back.

"You don't?" Swiftly, the younger Fighter reached over to tweak Gintoki's not-quite-limp member. As though he had flicked a switch, the said organ snapped to attention like a soldier, straining visibly against the constraints of his clothes. Gintoki let out a gasp of surprise and unmistakable lust as his eyes turned that familiar shade of red.

"Holy fuck, I do remember!" There was a flurry of movement, ending with Hijikata on his back, pinned to the bed under Gintoki's body, his cigarette stubbed out and forgotten on the floor. Those blood-crimson eyes glowed down at him. "'Course I remember."

Hijikata grinned up at his Sacrifice, having angled for this exact outcome. "Better be quick, or we won't be in time for lunch."

Gintoki grinned right back. "Who cares about lunch?"

As arousal and desire once again washed over him, Hijikata decided, perhaps this was what was meant by being Unfettered – living by their own rules, and not caring if their own rules sometimes coincided with others' rules.

x x

OWARI

x x

This fic is dedicated to Kid9535

A/N: Uhm. Well. This was actually my first attempt at writing a true lemon, even though I uploaded another one earlier (PoT fandom, Perfect Pair). I guess lemons need practice, which is why these probably weren't that great. They're harder than they seem, seriously. I don't know how many M-rates from various fandoms I've read over the past couple of weeks trying to get into the right mood and come up with plausible ideas for the lemons here; I wrote and rewrote these at least twice, which is why I'm so late even though I promised I'd update early. Gah. I feel sooooo polluted. T.T

Hmm… I really hope they weren't too OOC, especially Gintoki. He strikes me as a pervert (like duh) but he does try not to be too overt about it. So, erm, basically the lemons are down to Gintoki's horniness? And Hijikata seems unusually sentimental here too… I dunno… I figured they just needed some nice lemony bonding, and this is what came out. And the conclusion was pretty crappy too. Please don't flame me! –ducks rotten tomatoes–

Anyways this is the end of this fic! It was originally meant to be a oneshot, but somehow it grew into this huge four-shot monster that is just barely 60 pages long in my complete Word document. Whoa. And my other Loveless-verse ficcy is only 25 pages long. This is my longest short-fic… O.o how ironic. Must be the whole exams-forbidden-fruit-effect thing… I seem to become more prolific during exams than during free time –shot– But with 'O's just 'round the corner, I guess I'd better nail my ass to the chair and lock my computer up in my mother's safe and get down to work, so this will probably be the last we see of each other (all readers and reviewers, Kid included =D). Do send in a review to let me know what you thought of this! I really appreciate feedback, especially since this is one of the few full-fledged lemons I've written!

Just as a little tidbit, I thought I'd add a verse from Shura by 'Does', one of the ending themes for Gintama. It's translated, for obvious reasons.

One: please somebody
Two: blow out my fire
Three: and let me fly off
Four: Yeah, yeah

I thought this verse suited this chapter, if not the whole fic. Yeah. Thanks for reading this super long A/N X.x

Please review!