Common Knowledge

By Female Heero Yuy

Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD

I know at one point in time someone mentioned this kinda happening in a discussion I had with them. XD But I can't remember who I had the discussion with, but after a long time of thought I think I got it how it can be. Lol. Enjoy.

Ciel sighed as he had his cheek to his hand on his desk as he looked at everything around him with utter boredom. Even his dollhouse on his desk provided no form of entertainment. Though earlier he'd pretended the sheep, Sebastian, was running around like he was nothing more than a dumb animal while the soldiers, Maylene, Bard and Finni chased the little sheep until he grew tired and was shaved naked of his fluff. He'd never tell anyone that he'd named the little trinkets to the doll house after the members of the house. He laughed as he thought of comparing Sebastian to a sheep. It was utterably ridiculous. But the thought amused him just the same. Leaning back in his seat he tried to think of ways to amuse himself. Even though a great pile of work laid on his desk just calling his attention, he didn't want to pay it any mind.

"Tch, this is boring." he pouted in disappointment. After a while he noted that there was 2576 random scruffs in the carpet. Obviously created from anyone walking in and out of the room. He never realized how much one could notice if they were bored enough. He turned his chair to look out the window in thought.


Sebastian was in the garden picking herbs and vegetables. He made sure to plant some new ones earlier and almost forgot the time before he'd actually gotten to his real task. He wiped at his brow any remenants of sweat as it was hot and he wasn't wearing a gardening hat to do his task. He was only doing it at a normal human pace because he didn't feel like going back into the house immediately. Now it was mid afternoon, and it'd gotten hotter since he'd started. Time to finish the work he thought in his mind as he picked up the basket he'd filled with vegetables and herbs for the nights dinner.

Dusting his pants off of dirt he stretched for a moment. Sighing contently as he felt bones releasing the stiffness they'd obtained from bending down for so long. "Ah I must be getting old to get so stiff after a few hours." he smirked at his own lame joke. Even a demon couldn't stay in a position without some sort of stiffness happening. He went to grab the basket and blinked several times. "Where did the carrots go?" he looked around the area for a rabbit or some other animal to have taken it. Scratching at his head in confusion as he didn't see one. But the corner of his eye caught something that wasn't apart of the garden. It was pink and hunched over. Grabbing it from behind he lifted it out of the vegetable shrubs that it was trying to use for cover and blinked. It was a little girl. Probably no more than 3 years old.

She looked as though she was going to cry, as she had tears in her eyes. Clutching the carrots that Sebastian had picked only moments before. His lips giving him a pout even has she glared at him. He blinked a few more times even as he put a hand to his hip. "May I ask...who are you?"

The girl merely whimpered at him as she moved the carrots away from him as if to say they belonged to her.

Sebastian scoffed as he found her reaction entertaining. But it didn't answer his question. "Don't you have a name?" he smiled at her to try to coax her to speak.

The girl looked dumbfounded as she couldn't figure out if he was being serious or not.

"Ah...perhaps you don't speak english? Como es tas senorita?" he tried in spanish. Now the girl merely looked at him like he was an idiot. "Bonjor?" he tried french. But was met with the same result. "Gutten tag frau." he tried in german. "Ohayo kodomo chan." he tried some japanese. Now not only was the girl looking at him like he was an idiot, but he could swear her expression was asking if he was on drugs. "I'm just going to assume you speak english then and just won't respond to me." he finally said.

The girl giggled at him as if he'd said something funny.

"Ah so you do speak english." he smirked at her. Her expression turned into embarrassment as if she'd be found out. "While I do not understand why you are not speaking i'll have to ask you to return those carrots. The young master's dinner is being delayed you see." he held out his open hand, even though he was still holding her in the air.

She glared at him cutely. And kept her hold on the fresh vegetables. Sebastian sighed and picked up the basket of other vegetables as he walked back into the house with the girl in tow. Once he got to the kitchen he placed her to stand on a stool. And started peeling potatoes like the girl didn't phase him. She suddenly looked interested at what he was doing after he'd finished peeling the first potatoe. He opened one eye to peek at what she was doing and smiled as she turned away to pretend as if she wasn't interested. Continuing what he was doing he put the potatoes to boil so they'd cook to make mashed potatoes. He grabbed a head of lettuce and after washing it started chopping it to make a salad, adding some tomatoes, herbs, cheese, and olives. The girl watched him in amazement as she saw him do his tasks with precision. She dropped the carrots on the counter as she saw him mixing the salad with some dressing.

Being quick Sebastian snagged the fallen carrots before she could become aware she was no longer holding them. Peeling and slicing them his only thought was, "Humans are so easy to awe." as he chopped them and added them to the salad. This however made the girl blink as she suddenly became aware at what Sebastian had done to the carrots. She made an attempt to grab the bowl but Sebastian was quicker moved it to another counter as if he was doing it anyway.

"You seem rather fond of carrots." he stated as he handed her a single carrot stick that he'd left from meeting it's demise in the salad. The girl took it happily and chewed on it like it was candy. "Very strange. I've never seen a human child love their vegetables before. I still have troubles getting the young master to eat them." he watched for a moment before grabbing another pot. Picking up a steak he seasoned it in the pot on the counter.

The little girl seemed inclined to help this time as she grabbed some thyme and held it at him in her tiny hands.

"Why thank you." he smiled at her as he took it from her and put some on the meat. He wasn't sure if it was pure luck that she'd grabbed the ingredient he was going to use. Or if she'd purposefully done it. He choose the first option. When he put it back on the counter. The little girl knocked it over, making Sebastian sigh as a whole container of thyme was wasted on the floor. Grabbing a hand dustpan and brush, he started to clean it up.

The little girl didn't cry, nor pout, instead she climbed off the stool and attempted to help by grabbing at the thyme that'd touched the floor. Sebastian blinked at her efforts, and was surprised that she took the initiative to even do so. Never had he seen a human child actually do work before. Atleast not one so young. Especially without being told. He couldn't help but think how competant she was for one so young. After cleaning the small mess he went back to cooking. The little girl helping him through, and without making another mess. Sebastian was very rather impressed.


The sun was setting and Ciel now knew one thing. Staring at the scenery before you when it didn't move was boring. He'd counting 5 pidgeons, 3 squirls, 2 rabbits, 4 deer, Finni destroying the garden in 30 seconds, his crying for 60 minutes, Sebastian yelling at Finni for 2 minutes, Finni shouting for joy for 30 seconds, Sebastian sulking for 40 seconds before running off, and 200 cloud patterns. Sebastian yelling at Finni had been entertaining for the short time it'd happened. But after that was over he didn't have much else to do. He still needed to get his work done, but he was feeling rather lazy. But he supposed he should atleast make the attempt after supper. A knock came from the door.

"Come in." he stated as he didn't bother to turn around.

"Young master, dinner will be ready momentarily." came Sebastian's voice.


"Also...if I may...can I keep this?" came the question innocently from the butler.

Ciel sighed in distaste. "Sebastian for the millionth time you can't keep that a child?" he responded as he turned around in his chair. Sebastian was holding the young girl by her small hand as she suckled on her thumb.

"Indeed it is." the demon smiled.

"Oh god you didn't have a child did you?" he looked revolted. The girl didn't even look like the demon, but he didn't know how that worked with demons in general.

"Certainly not, I have no children young master. It's entirely human."

Ciel raised a brow at the explaination, "Why are you calling her an it. She's a person. Not an it." he got off his seat. "And in any case, where in the world did you find and or get her?"

Sebastian giggled, "Well I was picking vegetables for tonights dinner when she took the carrots I picked and tried to hide with them. She doesn't talk so I don't know where she came from, but she's exceedingly helpful. More so than the other servants so I thought we could keep her and have her be a competant servant."

Ciel for a brief moment was just trying to comprehend what the demon was saying. Then it'd hit him like a ton of bricks. "Sebastian we can't keep her! Her family is probably looking for her. Idiot, why didn't you bring this to my attention sooner?"

"As i've stated young master I wanted to teach her to be a servant." he smiled. "It'd be nice to have a servant who doesn't destroy things don't you think?"

Ciel put a hand to his brow as he felt an oncoming headache. "No, we can't keep her. We'll have to report that she's here to the police or else they'll think we kidnapped her."

Sebastian looked at his master in disappointment. "Awwwww, but I was going to teach her how to fold the laundry next."

"Next?" Ciel stared at his butler. "Exactly how long has she been here Sebastian?"

"Hmmmmm." he took out his watch. "About 3 hours."

"3 HOURS?" he shouted, of course he knew it'd take time for the demon to bring someone to him to mention it. But he honestly thought the demon had just found her at most an hour ago. He loved to stay on his schedule if he could so to not bring her during dinner preparation time was something Ciel forsaw. "Damn it." he put his face in his hands.

The little girl just looked back and forth between the two as they talked. Staring cutely at them while she suckled on her thumb the whole time.


Scotland Yard came within a few hours time to pick up the little girl. Apparently hours before a woman had come in, in hysterics as she'd taken her eyes off her daughter for a second and she'd gone missing. She didn't know if her daughter had been kidnapped or simply walked off on her own. And after a long search why her and the police they'd come up with nothing until they'd recieved the phone call from Ciel that they'd found a little girl on his property. Relief filled the police and mother as they drove down to the Phantomhive manor. The mother was very glad to see her daughter was safe and sound. But couldn't help but wonder how she'd gotten so far all alone by foot.

After taking there statements, they left, and thanked them for calling them so quickly about the missing child.

"Well I hope you learned a lesson in all this. Your lucky we didn't get arrested for kidnapping." Ciel scolded his butler.

"Young master we wouldn't of gotten arrested, because we obviously didn't kidnap her." he smiled at his master. "She certainly was of great help while she was here though."

"Are you saying you'll miss her?"

"Of course. None of the other servants could season a steak nearly as good as she could. I see her as being on par with an ant. Keeping busy and being helpful."

"So now humans are ants?" Ciel glared at him.

"Certainly not." Sebastian looked at his master. "I stated she was an ant. Your more..." he thought for a moment. "Your more like a flea, biting to annoy anyone but not really doing anything useful." he smiled.

"I am not a flea!" he barked.

"The young master himself would make a wonderful flea. Think of it, your always taking a seat on the side lines more often than not. And fleas seat themselves on cats and dogs."

"You bastard." he growled.

"The young master honors me. What ever will I do if he keeps gracing me with his biting habits." he turned away as if he was thinking. Putting a finger to his chin as his other arm was over his belly.

"Shut up you sheep!"

"Oh? But young master. I'ma cute little demon." he cooed.

"You are certainly not little."

Sebastian's grin grew wide, "Oh? But your saying i'm cute. How thoughtful young master." he clasped he hands together near his face.

Ciel blushed in frustration. "Who would think you're cute?" he stomped back into the house.

"Alot of people actually young master. They find me to be very adorable and sexy." he smiled as he dodged and caught a flower pot that'd been thrown at him.


And that's it. XD I did kinda narrow it down who I had the conversation with it was either Miss Megz, Fearmefrancis, or Hybreed. One of those 3 for sure. XD...I think...I DON'T KNOW! *bangs head on keyboard*

I hope you all enjoyed this random story. I couldn't get it out of my head for a long...long...long time. But I had to think of how to approach it. Ahh school starts in like...2 weeks T.T apart of me doesn't wanna go anymore lol. But oh well I have to. I think i'm just tired and wish I had more time for rest. Oh well. Gotta do what you gotta do right?

Reviews and critique appreciated.

added note: The languages Sebastian used is just some stuff I know off the top of my head. I know pathetic right? I need a hobby. I should of added the korean phrase too. But I didn't think of it til now lol.