Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight in any way, shape, or form.
Two years have gone by since the day Edward and his family left me, but somehow it still felt like it only happened yesterday. Not the Edward leaving me part, fuck him. I wouldn't take Edward back even if he came and begged me on his bare knees. It was just when he left he didn't go alone. He took Alice, and the rest of his family with him. He took the people I considered my family with him, and they didn't even stop on their way out of town to say goodbye.
He told me Alice wasn't interested in being my friend anymore because she had more important things to concentrate on; like finding her mate. Alice had started receiving visions of her mate long before I met her. She never found him though. Apparently it was the reason she left her first husband. Edward once told me Alice's husband normally lived with his family too, posing as Rose's twin brother, a Hale. He said that Alice broke his heart so he decided to take some time away from the family.
I couldn't blame him. Poor guy. He spent decades with a woman thinking she was the one, only to be tossed aside when the promise of something better came along.
I knew how that felt. Edward hurt me, they all hurt me, and I couldn't help ask myself why I cared so much about never seeing them again, when they blatantly showed how much they didn't care about me.
The fact was that the Cullens, love them or hate them, had an important impact on my life. They showed me what my life could be, only to turn around and rip it away from me just when I felt so close at achieving my heart's true desire. I loved Edward. It didn't matter that I would probably try to kill the little prick if he ever dared to show his face in my life again, I loved him.
I never felt anything even remotely coming close to what I felt for Edward for anyone in my life, and there were times when I feared I never would again. But it didn't change the fact that he left me.
He covered his intentions in ugly words, but after the gaping hole that was formerly my heart started the slow and painful process of healing, I understood with perfect clarity what the moron had done. He left to protect me. He saw I would never fear him no matter what he did, not even after he tried to rip my throat out at my eighteenth birthday party. So Edward in his 'I am older thus know better manner' did the only thing he thought he should do; protect me from myself and the danger he posed to me. What a stupid asshole.
I wondered how he would react if we ever saw each other again. Would he catch my scent and turn away without meeting me? Or would he stay and see who I had become?
I didn't know the answer to that. I did know he would be appalled at the changes I went through after he left. In many ways the changes were for the better, in other ways for worse.
I started dating Jacob Black after Edward left. In the beginning Jake saved me from drowning. After I returned from my stay in Zombieville he was the only thing that made me even remotely happy.
I was hesitant to start a relationship at first because of the imprinting issue. I worried he was going to pull a Sam on me and abandon me when he found his imprint, leaving me broken, or worse, like Leah.
Poor Leah. Even though she was a bitch of epic proportion, I honestly couldn't help feeling bad for her. It must be hell to not only be abandoned by the man you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, but your cousin as well. To actually have to feel everything Sam feels for Emily and know with absolute certainty that it could never come close to what he felt for you. Through the collective mind of the pack Leah felt saw and heard things she shouldn't have to. It was bad enough being the only female wolf, but being forced to see everything in Sam's mind and knowing that he knew everything about you in return, had to be excruciating.
I couldn't blame Leah for being angry and bitter, I know I would have been. Just the thought of Leah having to live through the memory of her ex-fiance making love to her cousin made me sick to my stomach
Leah's story made me very uncomfortable with the imprinting process. I knew I would never have to live through seeing them together in his mind the way Leah did, but that didn't mean I was going to consider starting a relationship with Jacob without thinking about it very carefully.
After agonizing over the issue for god knows how long, I decided to talk to Jacob about imprinting. I told him I couldn't start a relationship with him, only to have it end when he found the one that was made for him. And that I wasn't sure I could live through being left again without Jake there to help me through it.
After talking about it extensively Jacob convinced me he felt that I was the one that was made for him. He told me I was his soul mate, and that he didn't need a stupid imprinting God to tell him otherwise.
I believed him, so I stayed.
I understood that there was a big chance that someday he actually would imprint. But Jacob assured me that even if he did, it wouldn't change anything between us. He wouldn't accept the imprint. He would never leave me the way Edward did. I knew I was taking a big leap, but I did love Jacob in my own way, and I honestly needed to believe in something.
One of my conditions was to take it slow. Jacob knew exactly how I felt about him, I made sure to make my feelings clear to him, so that he understood why I wasn't anywhere near ready for a physical relationship. I wanted a strong relationship before starting anything like that with him. I wanted to be completely in love with him, so that it wouldn't just be sex. Jacob agreed readily, even if it frustrated him, and me, at times. In the end no matter how much my hormones were screaming for release, I stood by my decision.
Jacob never pressured me to have sex with him, and I loved him for it.
Lately I felt like I was at a place in my life where I could finally take that next step with him. I was starting to feel comfortable and safe in our relationship. I was in love with him and I wanted to show him in every way I could.
I smiled in anticipation as I drove into the Quileute reservation. Jacob had called me earlier asking me to meet him at Sam's place for the pack meeting. It wasn't something I usually attended so I was a bit curious about why Jake invited me. I wondered if there was a problem with vampires that they thought I could help with. Or maybe someone imprinted.
If someone had imprinted, I could only hope it was Paul. He seriously needed something to focus on, something that preferably wasn't me.
Next to Leah - which didn't really count because Leah didn't like anyone but Seth - Paul was the only one in the pack that was less than welcoming to me. I could even go so far and say that he outright hated me. When I asked Jake why he told me it was because of my past with the Cullens. But something in Jake's eyes when he answered my question made me think he wasn't being truthful. I chalked it up to Jake not wanting to hurt my feelings by telling me the real reason behind the ill-disguised scowls and heated glares Paul always sent my way.
Paul finding his imprint would definitely keep him off my back. It would probably turn him into a huge puppy, all soft and mushy. I couldn't help but smile at that image, and look forward to the day. It would be a lot of fun to watch Paul go through that. Maybe he would even stop hating my guts.
Nah, not fucking likely.
I quickly parked my car after I arrived at Sam's house. I glanced at the sky from my side-window and scowled at the soft drops of water falling on my windshield.
"Stupid Forks and its never-ending rain," I muttered softly while I opened the door to my truck, and jumped out. I quickly closed the door before sprinting towards Sam and Emily's house.
I had the strangest feeling that today wasn't going to be a good day for me.