AN: Going to start this out as one big header and then no other AN's throughout. This is an angst story. It is labelled as such. There are no perfect characters. I, as an author have no agenda. I do not interject my personal opinion about anything in this story or any other story I write. Right or wrong, Love it or hate it, it is what it is. Such is life.
This story has an 18+ rating.That means that I wrote it for adults. Please abide by those guidelines.
Thank you to Mollie, Mel, and Lexie who worked tirelessly to help me through this. There are still mistakes and I apologize for those.
"Honey, is there someone that you need us to call?" the nurse asked me as she walked me to one of the rooms.
"Uh, no. I called my dad. He should be here in a few hours, but there's no one else."
The nurse looked at me sadly for a moment, but then quickly adjusted her mood.
"Well, we'll get you all settled and make sure you're comfortable, okay?"
I nodded and winced in pain as another contraction hit. I had to stop walking and bend over and the nurse just stood with me until it passed.
"We're going right in here, honey. My names Carla. I'll help you get changed and then we'll check you out, okay?"
Carla helped me out of my black maternity yoga pants and sweatshirt and put me into a hospital gown that tied in the front. My belly bulged out and I was fully on display, but as another contraction bowled me over, I didn't really have the ability to care.
Carla got me into the bed and strapped a white elastic band over my belly. Almost immediately I hurt the "thump thump thump thump" that I knew instantly as my baby's heartbeat.
She felt around my belly. "This one's a big one. Do you know what you're having?"
"No, I didn't really want to know. I kind of like surprises."
"That's always fun. I love announcing the sex to the parents." She gasped a little as she realized what she had said. I decided to put her out of her misery.
"It's okay. The Dad and I aren't in contact. Trust me, it's better that way."
She nodded in understanding.
"All right, honey, I need you to bend your knees up and put them in the stirrups."
I did as she told me and winced a little as she poked and prodded me down below. I took deep breaths just like that stupid Lamaze video had shown me. I was trying to hide the fact that I was a little freaked out. I was in labor. LA-BOR. I was having a baby. What the fuck was I going to do with a baby? And I was alone. No one else was here with me. It wasn't like those movies where you see the proud nervous husband or boyfriend pacing back and forth. No one was holding my hand. No one would look at me lovingly and tell me what a good job I had done when it was all over.
I had some stuff; a crib and a car seat, but that was about it. I didn't have a baby shower and I didn't register for any gifts. No one would buy them for me anyway. I didn't really have any friends other than Riley, but he was a 19-year-old boy, what did he know about babies? And, of course, there was Jake, but he was completely freaked out by my whole situation. On top of that, he was dirt poor.
Most of the girls in my classes looked at me with sympathy.
That poor girl, whatever her name is, No need to invite her to any parties since she's knocked up.
My dad had bought me the car seat. Being the chief of police in Forks had its benefits. He knew which car seat was the safest. My mom bought me the crib and had it shipped to me. We weren't close anymore, but at least she acknowledged that I still existed and that I was about to become a mother myself.
"You're about 5 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced. It could happen quickly or slowly, but if we're going to get you an epidural we should do it pretty soon."
I shook my head. "Um, my doctor told me about a narcotic, can I have something like that?"
I didn't know exactly why I opted out of the epidural….oh wait, yes I did. It had something to do with the big fat fucking needle that they would have had to stick into my spine. Uh….no thank you.
She smiled and nodded. "Sure thing."
The next couple of hours passed by quickly. As high as I felt from the narcotic, the pain of each contraction still tore through me. I screamed and cursed and suddenly I felt like I needed to just fucking push. I needed to get this kid out of me. Minutes later, my doctor, Dr. Stewart, strolled in all nonchalant, wearing a robe type thing, plastic gloves, and a mask and finally let me push.
I pushed for 20 motherfucking minutes before I felt that little sucker squirt out from between my legs. And as much as it still hurt, there was instantaneous relief of the pressure.
"It's a boy!" Carla grinned at me.
She placed him on my chest and I just stared at him. He was wrinkly and bloody and kind of white, but he was absolutely the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.
"I'm going to go clean him up while you deliver the placenta and get sewn up okay, honey? I'll bring him right back."
Uh, wait, sewn up?
"Sewn up?" I whimpered.
Dr. Stewart looked at me and patted the inside of my knee. He's pretty massive, Bella, you've got a pretty good tear. I'll need to stitch you up.
"Uh, okay. If you're gonna stitch me up can you put in an extra one?" I asked only half joking.
Dr. Stewart got me immediately and chuckled. "Sure, Bella," he placated.
I laid back and felt more contractions, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I had a son. My son. My 9 pound 1 ounce baby boy.
About an hour later, my dad rushed through the door with a hand full of yellow roses.
"Oh God, Bells, I'm so sorry. I tried to get here as fast as I could. I even put my lights on for a little while, but I felt kind of guilty so…"
I smiled as my dad's eyes hit the bundle resting in my arms. He approached me silently and stared down. I pushed the blue swaddling blanket away from his face so my dad could get a good look.
"Oh, Bella, he's beautiful," my dad sighed.
"I know. He's like a little angel. Or, a big angel."
"Yeah, he's pretty big. Did everything go….alright?" he asked hesitantly.
"Everything went fine, Dad. He's perfect."
"He sure is, Bells. What's his name?"
"Charles Anthony Swan."
My Dad's mouth opened and then closed again. He picked up one of Charlie's little hands and I could see a very silent tear trickle down his cheek.
"This right here, Daddy, is unplanned perfection," I smiled.