The Skiving Snackbox
There were Fred and George in the hall, trying to trick the first years into testing their Skiving Snackboxes. Ron sighed and approached them. "Uh… Can I ask you two about something?"
"Sure." Fred answered cheerfully.
"What do you need?" George asked, propping one leg up on the bench where their snack box was.
"I haven't done my potions work. I need something to get me out of Snape's class, just for the afternoon."
The twins were beaming. "Well, little brother, we have just what you need." George answered, and they both gestured to their box.
Ron reached toward it, and was interrupted when a first year Hufflepuff beside him turned green and puked on the stone floor.
Fred and George cringed. "Filch will have a fun time cleanin' that one up." Fred said.
"I don't remember eating anything blue…" the kid murmured sickly, looking down at his barf.
The twins just shrugged, and Fred began to speak again, "So anywho, Ron, what can we do ya for? We have Puking Pastilles."
"Fainting Fancies." George added.
"And Nosebleed Nougat."
"So what'll it be?" they asked in unison.
Ron was thinking. None of these seemed very pleasant.
"Oh, or we have a new one you might like." Fred reached into the box and pulled out a candy wrapped in pink foil.
The clock somewhere was chiming loudly.
"Oh bugger! I need something now!" he took the candy from Fred and unwrapped it quickly before shoving it in his mouth. "I'll see you!" he ran off towards the dungeons for Potions class, hoping it would take effect as he got there and he'd be excused.
Fred and George looked at each other, wondering if they should have told him what it did…
Ron began to feel odd as he descended the winding staircase down to class, but thought it was just going to end up as a stomach ache. He ran into Snape's classroom quickly.
"Mr. Weasley. You're late." Snape said in his usual monotonous voice.
"Sorry, I was working extra hard on my homework." Ron lied, and put on a nervous grin.
Suddenly, he felt something weird in his groin area. He looked down, as did Professor Snape.
"Oh bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed, and quickly covered his crotch, where an erection was appearing.
"Hey! Weasley's got a stiffy!" Malfoy stood up and exclaimed, pointing. The whole class was roaring with laughter.
Snape grabbed Ron by the back of his robes and dragged him outside. "What is going on here?"
"Nothing, sir. Just a mishap. I- I don't-" he began to stutter.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor, for your lack of self control." Snape muttered. "Now, off to Madam Pomfrey, or to the boys bathroom. Wherever you tend to 'polish your wand'. Don't return until you learn a how to keep yourself from being over excited." In his plain, low voice, none of this sounded funny to Ron. It made him scared. He began to waddle off, covering his boner, and vowing to strangle his brothers the next time he saw them.
I wrote this for my friend Britt who loves Fred and George. It was to make her laugh. Hopefully it's not too awful. It was just for fun. Review please. Love, Kell.