Obsidian locks that seem to glow in the dim light, floating around my head as I shook. Here we stood at a crosspoint. Sister and brother, mirror image. Amethyst eyes looked into my matching ones with something similar to fear. Maybe surprise.
"Lelouch." The name tasted bitter now. Here I was, pointing a gun at the person who had shared my mothers' womb with me, the person that I hadn't since we were children.
Tears sprung in my eyes. "Idiot...IDIOT...IDIOT!" I screamed and threw the gun down. Suzaku took a quick glance at me from his gun at my broken state. So did the girl who was coming for Zero. She snapped out of her own broken state to glance at me then at Lelouch, understanding the connection to a slight extent.
"Lelouch...are you happy now that you've destroyed everything?" Suzaku asked, still holding the gun to Lelouch as Lelouch was holding a gun to him as well. My protective mode kicked in as I wiped the tears away and ran up to Suzaku.
"Suzaku...don't shoot." I asked.
"Are you insane? He's Zero!"
"HE'S MY BROTHER!"
Suzaku scowled at the ground for a moment before looking at my tears stained face. "I have to." A hand reached to carress my cheek and wipe what was left of a tear. "For the safety of everyone."
The tears stung at the backs of my eyes again. "Then you'll have to kill me first." I grabbed for the gun, putting my weight on Suzaku, causing him to teeter on his feet, flailing to move me away.
"Move it, Luella. That's my enemy." Lelouch's stern voice commanded.
Tears slid down my cheeks. I was fighting the man I fell in love with, protecting the man that tried to kill me. But I share a bond with that man. The one who I'd always felt closest to, that warmth slips from my fingertips with every breath.
"So? Lelouch, I grew up. I'm not obliged to follow anymore. Is it you lied when we were children?" I frowned. He seemed taken aback, stumbling on his own two feet for a second. Before shooting me one of those glare that would make me shrink into a corner years ago.
"You're my enemy. MOVE."
"You're treating my like a nuisance?" I narrowed my eyes. There weren't any tears left if I was an enemy. I let go of Suzaku and jumped onto the ledge, daring to near the one called Zero. The amethyst eyes that were always gentle and warm have become hard and cold, were directed at me. It was saddening but my features didn't twitch from their emotionless expression.
"Ten years. I haven't been with my brother in ten years."
"What's it to you?"
I raised my hand and easily struck the man's face, my features now holding a tortured and pained expression.
"DON'T ACT SO NONCHALLANT!" I screamed. "I know you care. You're my brother. It took me years to trust someone because you were the only one I trusted. Do you know how much it hurts? DO YOU? That the only one that was by my side for eight years, the only one I loved HATES me?"
A torn expression crossed his face, easily shattering the facade he tried to fool me with. Sad eyes looked into mine and a voice merely whispered, "I DO care." A shot echoed in my ears and white-hot pain shot through my abdomen.
"LUELLA!" Suzaku's voice panicked. My numb body hit the floor, my head making contact with a sickening crack, and the warmth slipping away faster. I couldn't feel the person picking me up from the floor but barely saw how my point of view was changing as my head lolled around. Another gun-shot threw me into an abyss of unconciousness.
"Lelouch!" A little girl dressed in a blue and gold dress with long raven locks of hair tackled a similar-looking boy. Me. And Lelouch. I loved him. He loved Nunnally.
"Watch it, Luella. You almost made me fall down." He directed a scowl at me. I frowned and sat down beside him. After a few minutes, he got up and walked off. That's the longest anyone dared stay beside me.
"No one likes me. Not even my twin brother. Big brother likes Nunnally. Did I do something wrong? Mommy avoids me, big brother doesn't acknowledge me, and everyone else pretends I don't exist." I sat confused then went to find Lelouch. "Lelouch?" I asked timidly.
"What now?" He huffed.
"Can I ask something?"
"Go ahead." He threw his book down and glared at me.
"Why do you hate me?"
His eyes widened slightly but molded into a soft expression. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm your twin but you don't like being near me. Am I that bad a person? Someone you don't want to be around?"
"That's not it."
"I don't know how to explain. But you're not a bad person. You're a good girl. Someone trustworthy and understanding. I just feel ill at ease."
"Is it because I look so much like you?"
"Why would-I...I don't know."
"I'm sorry...I'm bothering you when you could be with Nunnally or doing something else." I turned around, ready to run off somewhere else to be away and not bother anyone for awhile. A hand caught my wrist.
"Stay here for a little bit longer. You always run away."
"Lelouch..." I looked into his matching amethyst eyes with my saddened ones and wrapped my arms around him, feeling the warmth humans talk about from embracing someone. The feeling of never wanting to let go. "I don't want to let go." The hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I'd finally gotten my wish. To have someone that cared. This was the longest I'd ever been beside someone, the first time I was embraced, and the first time kind eyes were turned toward me. It was even better when arms wrapped around me, causing the tears to pour on like a damn finally broken.
"Ok." He said, and sat in the grass, keeping me in hold. I held on tight, slowly falling asleep.
I opened my eyes slowly as blinding light poured in and tears poured out.
"What have we done?" I sat up, hanging my head. It's already been a few weeks since Suzaku turned Lelouch in to the emperor. Now he has no memory of being Zero, he's living a peaceful life...without Nunnally. Nunnally was taken from him and replaced with a fake little brother. I'd never seen him smile so much. Even if it was a fake smile, it was a beautiful sight. But there's only been a few occasions I've been able to see him, because I was not permitted to go to that school. I'm able to walk freely through the palace but it's painful, like walking through quicksand. Because everything seen tends to be a lie. Every word spoken, every bow or smile. I find myself deserted in memory of being alone and wake up to realize I'm running through the halls, looking for that someone who would never tell a lie to me. The only truth left in this desolate location. But I lose myself in the hallways and I'm running for the closest door, need to be outside, need to breathe. Open my arms to the wind that runs its fingers through my hair and blows through my being, sharp and freezing. Snow dampens both hair and dress, eventually hiding the tears. First the fingers numb, turning a milky color, then the feet, making it hard to walk but refusing to give up. Staring at the river, barely frozen and eventually the energy and life slips out, losing footing and hearing the crack of the ice, the splach of the water, the sudden cool seeping into every pore, the screams and the dark shadow hanging over me before my eyes shut down like a garage door, mind shutting down at the same time.
Blinding lights once again filled my vision as my eyes cracked open. A worried face catches my attention.
"What the hell were you doing?" Suzaku's hand takes mine.
"You don't understand." I ripped my hand away, ripping out the IV and getting up.
"Luella! You can't do that!"
I fell, having my legs give out from under me but refusing to stop. I got back up and forced my legs to work as I neared the door.
"Woah, that's not a good idea, your highness." A blonde boy said. He was a lot taller than I, with shining blue eyes that were clouded with some emotion. He wore a knight's suit, just like Suzaku. I stopped for a moment.
"I need out." I hung my head but started sprinting away, down the halls. I knew every shortcut, every secret doorway, but Suzaku didn't need the knowledge to catch my arm and yank me back, wrapping arms around me. I wanted to cry, scream, and resist. But these were the arms I was looking for in the first place. I hung on tight and closed my eyes.
"I promise I'll bring you that freedom. I promise it'll be my hand that will lead you outside."
"Never lie to me."
"I'll never lie to you." The words felt light; shaky. I opened my eyes and tears spilled out. Maybe this game will end soon...
Matching amethyst eyes looked into mine. Emperor and princess. Another crosspoint.
"Are you my enemy?" He asked.
"Never again." Escaped my mouth.
"Then your hands will be stained with blood the deeper you dig."
"Then I'll dig as deep as you have. I don't want to leave your side again. There's only two heartbeats that keep me alive."
His eyes flicked to mine. "I'm the sea you're drowning in, my sister. Not the lifeline keeping your head above the surface."
"Then I'll drown. That's ok."
A smirk crossed his face. "You're just like me. Stubborn and full of integrity." A slim hand reached out and ran through my long hair before going away. I frowned and went to my own quarters. Tomorrow was the day...the day for my brother to die. I let the tears run down my face before practically breaking down the door and running into Lelouch's room.
"What's wrong?" He asked, having obviously been in the middle of undressing. I ran over and wrapped my arms around him, crying like a newborn child.
"I'm...just so...afraid..." I gasped between sobs.
"My darling sister..." An arm draped around my shoulders and a hand made it's way through my long hair gently. "Look at me." Before I knew it, I haddrifted into an extremely deep sleep.
"Ah...school is so boring..." I whined and thought, I'd rather be with Suzaku...
A hand set on my shoulder and I looked up. Speak of the masked devil.
"Zero!" I smiled happily. He was the destroyer...and creator of worlds. He tricked me into being Codename Chrisnelle...all for the greater good. And the outcome? Total peace. But...something in that mask...felt out of place. A tinge of memory pulled at my brain when I looked at my reflection in it...maybe...I'll never know.