Authors Note: Okay I had this dream the other day, so I decided to make it into a story. It is a companion piece to 'Existing for that feeling' but is completely just pure humor. If you like review, if not then review anyway. I don't mine flames, they keep me warm in my air condition frozen house. Seriously I got a cold! In the middle of August with 100 temperatures! Anyway enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, though I do own Akira and Katsuhei which is a human Grimmjow and Ulquiorra so IN YOUR FACE KUBO!
As Grimmjow made his way to his room he had to marvel at his house, in which he 17 year old Katsuhei Roku lived. Yeah that's right, his name was now Katsuhei. Living as a human in the real world.
After his death at the hands of that damn spoon back in Hueco Mundo 18 years ago his soul had been reborn into a human. He couldn't really complain though, his life was okay and his mom was awesome.
A single parent she was the most generous woman Grimmjow had ever met and he was proud to have her as his mom. Her name was Yuuna Roku, with blond hair and blue eyes she was also very beautiful.
His father who he absolutely despised wasn't with them, and if Grimmjow had his way would never come near them. His father was a bastard, marrying his mom only for her money. After they were married and his mom got pregnant that creep had an affair, and with a crazy fucked up chick at that.
His father's 'girlfriend' tried poisoning his mom to get her out of the way, luckily she managed to get to a hospital in time to save their lives, but his hair ended up blue from the attempt. Though he wasn't really complaining, he liked having his hair color, reminded him of the old days.
After arresting the woman his mom divorced his father and acquired a restraining order against him, meaning that Grimmjow hoped to never see him again.
Making his way to his room he opened the door to look at the boy sitting on his bed, he was the same age as him. Black hair, green eyes, and a very pale complexion, he looked almost no different then he used to.
He found Ulquiorra Sciffer or his new name, Akira Kuroshi, last month after transferring into the same school. He had been looking for Ulquiorra since he died, promising the other he was always find him no matter where they went.
Ulquiorra was allowed to stay at his house indefinitely because as an orphan he had no other home to go to, his mom had happily opened her doors for him. She even knew of their closer-then-friends bond and accepted them both regardless. Though she was quite shocked to learn that he was gay, she had replied only with 'at least I don't have to worry about you getting some girl pregnant'. His mom was awesome.
It was now summer break, meaning school was out and they had yet to figure out what they were doing. Though Grimmjow didn't mind where they went, only if they got to hang out together.
As he mused on and on he didn't notice Ulquiorra packing until the other was done and had put on a backpack.
"Hey Ulqui, why are you packing?" Grimmjow asked him, only calling him that name when they were alone.
"I've decided where we are going," He merely replied. "Get packed, I'm going to go tell Yuuna-Chan."
"You do know that my mom wants you to call her 'mom' as well?" Grimmjow replied, the other only looked at him as if to say 'do I look that disrespectful?' "Where are we going anyway?"
"Karakura," Was all he said. Grimmjow's eyebrows raised at the name, why would Ulquiorra want to go to that dump?
Then he realized and a smile spread across his face, "Are we going to go annoy Ichigo? Are we? Are we? Are we?" He asked like an excited puppy, jumping up and down in place.
A wicked smirk crossed Ulquiorra's face before falling away, "Yes Grimmjow. We are going to go annoy Kurosaki so get packing," Grimmjow let out a whoop running over to his closet to grab his bag to pack with clothing.
"Okay Katsuhei, I'll let you both go but do promise to keep in touch with me and be careful okay?" Yuuna Roku said as she gave her son a hug, he towered over her but she managed to wrap her arms around his neck.
"You know it mom," Grimmjow said in response. "We're only going over to see a former acquaintance, so we should be back in a day or two okay?"
"Okay dear, have fun. You too Akira. Keep a good eye on my son, he likes to do reckless things." The petit woman said with a smile.
"Of course," Ulquiorra replied letting her hug him. She was the only woman he let hug him, and that was because she became important to him after she took him in.
"Good bye and have fun!" She said with a wave as they walked out the door, they waved back before heading for the train station.
Getting to Karakura town took a few hours by train, so when they did get there it was already night time. As they exited the train Grimmjow shouted in happiness. "God I hate trains!"
Ulquiorra just rolled his eyes before walking down the road, Grimmjow followed closely on his heels. "Now to find Ichigo," Was all he said and Grimmjow smirked.
"Well considering we still contain some of the reiatsu from our former lives I say we hunt down a hollow, because were there is a hollow Ichigo should follow." Grimmjow said before laughing, "Hey that rhymed!"
Ulquiorra only stared at him before turning down a random street, Grimmjow following not too far behind.
They heard the battle before actually seeing it, shouting, roaring, the feel of reiatsu blasting the air it had to be him. As they came up upon the scene the hollow was already dead, and a certain orange headed shinigami stood on the sidewalk.
In his early thirties Ichigo's face had matured, looking much more serious and battle worn then he used to. Grimmjow smiled in eagerness and Ulquiorra smirked slightly.
First Grimmjow went, walking straight into the lamplight in front of Ichigo, enjoying the look of absolute shock on his face.
"G-g-g-grimmjow!" He question in surprise, drawing his blade on instinct. Grimmjow just laughed at him.
"Yes it is Kurosaki! And there is nothing you can do to me!" He shouted smugly, enjoying the look of confusion on his enemies' face.
"What do you mean I can't do anything to you!" Ichigo shouted in question, already getting ready to strike. But to his shock Grimmjow instead of answering only lifted up his shirt, which showed his flat stomach. He then realized their was no hole, and his jaw bone wasn't there either.
"I'm not a hollow! I'm not a hollow! I'm not a hollow!" He sang as he swayed his hips back and forth in a weird looking victory dance. "So there is nothing you can do to me!"
"Wait you're human!" He shouted in surprise, pointing at the blue haired male stupidly. There was no way this was possible, his mind was trying to block out the possibility.
"Yup!" Grimmjow said, smirking evilly.
"He's right trash," A emotionless voice came from the shadows and another figure walked into the lamplight.
"U-u-ulquiorra!" He was rendered speechless however when Ulquiorra pulled down his neckline to show the absence of his own hollow's hole, while at the same time sticking out his tongue. With an emotionless face however it looked humorous, it was the equivalent of Grimmjow's victory dance.
"This is what I call 'poetic justice'," Ulquiorra commented again. "First you are the instrument to our demise..." Ulquiorra started. "But now you're the instrument to our protection, the God's must really hate you."
"Just shut up," Ichigo groaned but was cut off when a phone in Grimmjow's pocket rang. Watching in curiosity he had to wonder what was happening.
As Grimmjow answered his phone he winced, a shrill female voice coming over the phone. As Ichigo watched Grimmjow got bawled out by whoever was on the other line, and Grimmjow was just sitting there and taking the verbal abuse. He wondered idly who could bring Grimmjow down to that level of calmness.
As Grimmjow sighed and hung up he turned to Ulquiorra, "We forgot to call mom. She's pissed," Ulquiorra blinked in response. They did forget to check in, shrugging there was nothing they could do now.
"Well we better get out of here, find some place to sleep for the night." Grimmjow said as they turned to walk away, "I'm bored now anyway." Ulquiorra nodded in agreement, tucking his hands in his pocket before following behind.
"Wait," Ichigo said weakly. He was still trying to figure out what was happening when the other two disappeared down the street. "What just happened?" When no one answered he figured he didn't want to know.
Sighing he turned to head back home, there was no way the guys were going to believe this. He himself was wondering if he just saw a work induced hallucination, and then decided that he deserved a day off tomorrow.