The Legend of Sesame Street:
Chapter One: The Epicness Begins
One day in Hyrule, on the street they call Sesame, there was a giant bird named Big Bird. Big Bird was your normal bad ass of the neighborhood. He would hang out with his gang, The Bad Ass Puppet Crew. They would terrorize all the normal citizens. On this day in specific Big Bird and one of his closest friends,Snuffleufugus, joined together and left Sesame Street. They had gotten annoyed with Elmo so they shot both of his legs and stuffed him Oscar's trash can. So, they had to escape from there or the Sesame cops would arrest their bad asses.
On their journery to escape from their badassery crimes, they ran into a fairy named Navi. Navi was talking in this high pitched fairy talk. So they took out their AK47s and shot Navi to death. Then they continued with their journey.
"...Hey, Big Bird, do you think that it was bad to kill that fairy?" ,Snuffleufugus asked.
" HELL NO!... DON'T TURN SOFT ON ME, DAMMIT!" Big Bird screamed with anger.
"... I am no-...", Snuffleufugus was cut off by the neigh of a horse up the road.
They walked up the road to find this big brown horse attached to a fence. Snuffleufugus did not to need to ride a horse cause he was bigger than the horse, but Big Bird was being lazy so he decided he wanted to steal this lovely horse. He started to untie the rope that attatched the horse to the fence, but Snuffleufugus interrupted him.
"... Uhm, Big Bird, don't you think that stealing that horse was bad?" Snuffleufugus asked concerned.
" Damn, I am getting sick of your effing games dude, man up! And of course I knew it was bad. I would have not done it if it was good... Geez." Big Bird said obviously extremely pissed off.
"... Big Bird, I think your should, uh,... uhm... "
" You think I should what?... Hmm?" Big Bird asked even more pissed.
"... You should return the horse... " Snuffleufugus was not aware of how deeply he was going to regret saying that.
"Man, I hate to do this, but you are turning to the light side... Good bye.. And I will see you in Hell, when I get there." With a tear in his eye Big Bird, took out his AK47 and shot Snuffleufugus between his eyes.
After this, Big Bird was more of a bad ass then he ever was. He realized he could not avenge his friends life, considering he was the one who shot him. And frankly, he did not want commit suicide. So he continued his travels with he and his dead buddy's AK47.