Written for Ryo, who wanted a TRAD story, with mucho thanks to SpaceElf for making me nearly pass out from laughter with her beta-read. *grin*

White Magic Justice Speech
By Icka! M. Chif

Once Upon A Time, there was a peaceful Justice Loving Kingdom called Saillune. Saillune was ruled by Prince Phil, the Just, The Peacemaker and The Hairy.

Now Prince Phil had 2 lovely daughters, each lovelier than the other. The oldest had an ego larger than her assets (which is saying a LOT) and is not in this story so shall not be mentioned.

The Youngest was named 'White Magic Justice Speech', but that was a rather long mouthful so everyone just called her 'Amelia'.

Now Amelia had rather large assets as well, but was more well known for her compassion, her bubbly spirit and her tendency of falling off of high objects while living up to her birth name.

One Day, Prince Phil asked his daughter to run an errand for him. There was a wild and untamed Sorceress that occasionally lived on the border of Saillune. Said Sorceress was beautiful, but had a temper hotter than a red-hot iron and had a bad habit of blowing up anything that moved when hungry. So he asked his daughter to run a cart full of food to the Sorceress to hopefully prevent his kingdom from inadvertently being blown up.

Amelia was more than happy to (she loved to travel and oh-so rarely got the chance), so she hugged her much beloved father goodbye and headed into the woods, dragging a wagon full of food behind her as she sang a cheerful song filled with Justice, Love and cute fuzzy bunnies. Why cute fuzzy bunnies in a song? Because she liked cute fuzzy bunnies.

Now in this woods also lived a hideous and heartless Chimera. He had once been a human, but had been cursed into his hideous form because of a misunderstanding with a relative, curse his name.

Said Chimera wanted 2 things in his life. One: to find a cure to reverse his condition. Failing that, Number Two: Silence and solitude.

Too bad for him, he's not going to get either in this story.

The Chimera heard the singing, and being in a rather foul mood (something he had been in since the curse and didn't have the inclination to change), he decided to find out who was intruding in his peace and quiet.

Fortunately, it wasn't too hard for him to track down the singer. Sound has a funny way of carrying and making it easier to locate of where it's coming from.

He was about to jump out of the bushes and scare the intruder to his domain away when he got a glimpse of Amelia and got distracted by her assets. Uh, her sparkling blue eyes and cheerful personality.

"Hi!" Amelia greeted the Chimera, who was doing a good impression of a statue as he stared at her. "I think I'm lost. Do you know which way to the Beautiful Black Sorceress' cottage?"

Foul mood broken and unsure how to handle it, the Chimera merely pointed the direction she was to go.

"Thanks!" Amelia chirped, blew him a kiss, then started on her way again singing her song.

Several seconds after the Princess had passed, awareness finally returned to the Chimera's mind. A beautiful girl had said hello to him. A beautiful girl hadn't freaked when saying hello to him.

And most importantly, a beautiful girl that hadn't freaked when she had seen him had blown him a kiss.

And asked for directions to the Black Sorceress' cottage.

Mind thus re-engaged, the Chimera set out for the Black Sorceress' abode.

The Beautiful Black Sorceress was rather bored at the moment when the Chimera showed up. She was familiar with the Chimera and occasionally used him as a lackey when adventuring. Which she was not at the moment.

Which was why she was rather happy when the Chimera informed her that he had found a Bandit Hideout (True) a ways a way from here. (Not true. It was father than a ways away from there. But with his deamon speed, how was he supposed to tell?)

The Beautiful Black Sorceress, who was also called Lina and shall henceforth be called that because the storyteller's fingers are getting stiff from writing her name repeatedly, perked up and immediately took off for said Bandit Hideout.

And along the way ran into a blond swordsman named Gourry, but that's another story.

Having successfully taken care of Lina, the Chimera climbed into her bed and waited for Amelia to come.

Which didn't take that long, because this is a story and nothing ever takes as so long that the characters get bored. And he gave her proper directions, as opposed to improper directions that someone else might have given her. Such as say... a wolf?

"Lina-san!" Amelia sang, pulling her wagon full of food to the front of the house. "I'm here with dinner!"

The Chimera coughed and pitched his voice up to sound like Lina with a really bad head cold. Or so he hoped. "I'm in the house. Could you come in and see me?"

The Princess wasn't stupid and instantly knew that that wasn't Lina in the house, because sick or not, Lina would have instantly run out of the house to get the food.

She also had a rather good feeling who it was inside. "Coming!"

The Chimera, who had the covers pulled up over his head in an attempted to hide his identity, peeked through the covers to see an unsettling sight. The Princess was smiling. Wolfishly. At him.

Instantly, the Chimera felt that he was on the wrong side of the bed, even if switching would have meant that he was stuck in a stupid dress with a red cape and hood.

"Why-why Princess... What big eyes you have..." He stammered, trying to scoot out of the bed unnoticed.

"The better to see you with." Amelia grinned, stepping closer.

"An-and what big as- uh... heh heh... hands you have..." The Chimera swallowed, feeling rather cornered.

"The better to hold you with." The Princess' smiled turned even more predatory as she licked her lips.

"And what big teeth you have!" The Chimera squeaked.

"The better to EAT YOU WITH!!!" Amelia roared, jumping on to the bed.

And she did just that.