This story is the cause of a plot bunny that wouln't leave me alone! So to get some peace in my thoughts I typed it up and feel SO much better. Well here ya go, It's kinda slash but then it's kinda not. Up to you how ya take it. Enjoy ;)
Ps: We know I don't own transformers cause if i did there would be no way in hell the classic characters would have died!
Jazz stared back at the medic. Waiting for him to stop looking serious and break out into a smile saying "Had you going there didn't I?"
Then they'd laugh and joke about this later on. No such phrase came from the medic, concerned for his patient he snapped his fingers "Jazz? You still with me?"
Jazz vented slowly "Um Yeah just... this is a little strange...and kinda wow to take you know?"
Ratchet stared at him "Oh? You mean stranger than how this happened?"
Jazz winced remembering the eternity that was forty one days ago...
Prowl shifted in his seat which would be the seventh time in the last five cycles and as a self rule Prowl NEVER fidgeted. He preferred to keep himself dignified during work hours and off as second in command it was his duty to set an example to lower ranked subordinates on proper behaviour, why else would Sideswipe end up in the brig every month? Even after waking from their stasis on Earth Prowl had tried his best to run a tight ship, taking command for Prime when he couldn't or wouldn't deal with daily tasks himself such as filing datapads. In all fairness though Prime was usually off halfway around the globe on a daily basis stopping Megatron so Prowl couldn't really say his leader was slacking off. Another fidget, Prowl vented a sigh the cause of his fidgeting was due to his circuits feeling uncomfortably hot which was bothering him.
They'd been like this for a bout four solar cycles now and he was ready to blow something apart from the annoyance of his discomfort he was sure would fade away on it's on like a glitch, barring his glitch that happened every time something illogical graced his circuits. Stuffing his pride he finally ventured to see Ratchet to rid himself of this glitch since his internal systems either couldn't deal with it or for some reason found nothing wrong with his inner workings. Knocking on the door out of politeness in case Ratchet was busy, he only entered after the "Come in."
Ratchet looked up from his datapad surprised to see the tactician who almost never arrived in medbay unless his logic processor froze or his door wings were acting up, which again wasn't even that often.
Prowl shifted again "Sorry to bother you Ratchet but I was wondering if you could run a diagnostic on my systems. My circuits are warmer than they should be, I feel restless even though I under recharged last evening so..."
Ratchet frowned and indicated a medical bench "Well park your aft and lets see what the problem is so you can get the slag outta my med bay."
Prowl complied watching as Ratchet ran a few diagnostics after a particular result popped up Ratchet groaned and muttered "Of course. Would happen on Earth wouldn't it? Not like astroseconds away from leaving Cybertron but it has to be on Earth."
Prowl wondered about the medics sanity as he looked to the ceiling and said "Why Primus? What did I ever do to you? I save mechs on a regular basis AND I have saved femmes, I put up with those pit spawned things YOU call split spark twins! And now you do this to me, god you are cruel!"
Prowl coughed lightly "Uh so what's wrong with me?"
Ratchet seemed to remember the reason of his problem and half glared "Nothing."
Prowl looked incredulous "Nothing? Then what was with the speech?"
Ratchet vented this time "Nothing is wrong with you, that's the problem. All though I wish something was compared to the alternative."
Prowl was getting confused and to save Ratchet a processor ache if the second in command froze up continued "Prowl what do you know about Praxians?"
Prowl sat up "That Bluestreak, Smokescreen and I are few of those left."
Ratchet sighed again "What do you know about their breeding cycle though?"
Prowl shrugged this time "Not much. I know bonded couples had sparklings, but that's about it."
Ratchet sat across from him "I figured you didn't know about the deep programmed gestation cycle."
Prowl answered eloquently with "The what?"
Ratchet continued "As cautionary measures in case anything should happen to wipe out a large number of Praxians the elders thought it would be wise to program each one with a gestation cycle which will kind of force a mech or femme into accomplishing a single task, spark a sparkling. Of course I bet the elders didn't expect all but a few Praxians to be left so this wouldn't really cause a population boom but I guess they figured at worst the Praxians numbers may be cut in half at a bad time. Anyway the program starts off preparing the Praxians body to be able to carry a sparkling, unless their mate is more suitable so the circuits store energy for later, which is felt by circuits warming over that usually lasts three days. The circuits continue feeling warm for another day as the program prepares the Praxians body to seek, or putting it more accurately, hunt their mate to the ends of the Earth until they spark new life together. Usually after this four day period the mech or femme will search out it's mate."
Prowl stared at the medic disbelievingly "This is a joke isn't it Ratchet."
Ratchet shook his head "I wish it was, be one processor ache less. I'll ask Wheeljack to help me come up with something to override the program. In the meantime you better warn the mech you fancy to stay away to prevent any accidents."
Prowl sputtered "I don't fancy any mechs! Which means it could be anyone!"
Ratchet tapped his datapad thoughtfully "Well the program chooses the mate based on some ability such as attributes like your battle computer, usually mechs or femmes without glitches like Red Alert's fritz or those who aren't already bonded couples like Optimus Prime and Elita one, age... well you wouldn't want some one like Ironhide's age would you? Height, no sense bonding to a minibot when you're an average sized mech yourself, sometimes friendship comes into it as previous bonds, even of friendship, can secure a firmer partner bond. It's kinda selecting the most logical bot for you. Like for example a jet Skyfire's size having a sparkling with one of the minibots would be illogical not to mention complicated, the program is preventing you from worrying about that by choosing for you."
Prowl frowned "So that rules out Bumblebee, Brawn, Windcharger, Beachcomber, Cosmos, Cliffjumper, Gears, Huffer, Powerglide, the Aerialbots, Skyfire, the Dinobots, Ironhide, Prime, Inferno, Red Alert... What about Bluestreak and Smokescreen? Won't they be going through this?"
Ratchet looked up "Bluestreak's too young and Smokescreen can't spark due to a war injury."
Prowl's doorwings dropped a bit "So it could be anyone apart from those I just mentioned."
Completely uncharacteristic for him Prowl grabbed his face and yelled "THIS SUCKS!"
Ratchet didn't bother looking up "You better hope it's not me because I'd hate to knock you out until Jack and I find a solution."
Prowl removed his hands in horror "You mean this doesn't wear off!"
Ratchet responded "Nope. The longest recorded chase on Cybertron, before Praxus was a giant city populated by millions of citizens, a femme chased a mech for exactly half a million years across Cybertron before she caught him."
Prowl twitched "What happened?"
Ratchet continued "They bonded and had eight sparklings over the years."
Prowl groaned "So your saying I'm doomed unless the mech is an expert escape artist."
Ratchet approached him "Yup as soon as you see him you'll wanna chase after him and go at it like petro rabbits. Now how long have you had these symptoms?"
Prowl shifted again "Today's the fourth day."
Ratchet went deathly silent then growled out "You didn't mention this before, WHY!?"
Prowl leapt back "Sort of internally panicking here at the information I just got told!"
Ratchet rubbed a hand over his optics "Well, luckily it mustn't be me or I'd have had to sedate you by now so I can keep you locked up till we get this sorted. As I said as long as you don't see him we're good because otherwise I don't have a hope in hell in keeping you from getting to him. I'd quit if it was Sideswipe or Sunstreaker or worse Tracks!"
Prowl shuddered at those suggestions wrapping his processor around his predicament, according to Ratchet he couldn't return to duty for fear he may pounce on some unsuspecting mech and he wouldn't be able to stop himself. Then his worst nightmare happened, the medbays doors slid open revealing a sheepish Jazz carrying Sideswipe's top half with Sunstreaker hauling his legs, Ratchet groaned and muttered "Please Primus no."
Sunstreaker said "Sideswipe being the stupid glitched fragger that he is decided to pick a fight with the minibots!"
Sideswipe raised his arm "In my defense Cliffjumper started it! I finished it!"
Jazz grinned "And that's why they knocked off ya equilibrium right?"
Sideswipe grinned back "Exactly."
Throughout this as they hauled Sideswipe to a berth Ratchet watched Prowl warily, Prowl was gazing at Jazz almost like he'd never seen him before which set Ratchet on edge. "Thanks for bringing him here Jazz. Now scat! You know I don't like healthy bots in my medbay!"
Jazz backed away "OK Ratch I'm leavin. You don't have ta get all aggressive on me, does he Prowler?"
Ratchet winced as Prowl's engine practically purred at the nickname Jazz had given him. Prowl approached his target with a purposeful swagger he easily backed Jazz against the wall with his hands and purred lowly "Where do you think you're going?"
Jazz raised an optic "Back ta the rec room."
Prowl cupped his cheek "Wouldn't you rather spend the evening with me?"
Jazz started looking a bit unsure of himself now "Normally Prowler-" His engine revved again, "-I'd love to an all but ya know I've got stuff to do and yeah..."
Prowl leaned in "Consider you're previous engagement cancelled."
His optics shuttered offline and his body slumped against the wall revealing an irritate Ratchet standing with a strong sedative in hand. Ignoring Sideswipe and Sunstreaker's disbelieving stares he said "Listen Jazz you don't have a lot of time against this fraggin program of his as it'll already be destroying the sedatives effects. Long story short Prowl's Praxian heritage programming has kicked in making him seek a suitable mate to have a sparkling with, congrats I guess it's picked you, which means his normal self has taken a hike and the only thing he's concerned with now is finding and fragging you."
Jazz gaped "You're joking right?"
Ratchet indicated Prowl's body leaning against Jazz "Dead serious. When he comes round he's gonna seek you out and he's not gonna stop, you go to England, so will he, you fly to Cybertron, he will to. He'll NEVER give up. So there's two options, One: You frag him and be done with it or Two: Avoid him until Jack and I find a solution even though I haven't even told him about any of this yet."
Jazz waved his arms near hysterical "THAT'S YOUR IDEAS!"
Ratchet shrugged "Not my fault you came nosing around at a bad time, better choose quickly he's waking up."
Jazz watched Prowl stir then sprinted out the door, Prowl shook his head glaring at Ratchet accusingly, Ratchet pointed to the door way "He went right."
Prowl ran out after Jazz.
Sunstreaker trying to wrap his head around the whole mess said "What the frag! And why the heck did you help Prowl?"
Ratchet started fixing Sideswipe's equilibrium circuits after comming Wheeljack telling him the situation and Prime too, who promised to explain to the rest of the crew so at the least they could give Jazz a head start.
Ratchet told them "Simple you don't come between a Praxian and their mate unless you're suicidal."
Sideswipe gasped in horror "And there's still Blustreak and Smokescreen to worry about!"
Ratchet bashed out a dent "Blue's too young for this and Smokey can't spark."
The twins echoed at the same time "Spark?" He didn't get paid enough to deal with this.
Still he wondered how long Jazz would last since he no clue how to override this programming.