And there was the Old Spice man in all his spicey glory, standing in a towel in a bathroom. "Hello ladies and non-ladies. If you are reading this then congratulations on reading, because that makes you a person. And if you're a person, then you can be like me. Look in your hand. Now back at me, now back at your hand. What is that? It's Old Spice. Blink. Now it is two Old Spice things. Blink again. Now it is a miniature pony named Sparkles Fantastic. Pet it, you know you want to. BEHOLD!" Suddenly the bathroom split apart and he stood on a golf course. "Tee off into destiny!" He swung the golf club that randomly appeared and it exploded in the sky. The camera panned down and he was now in a library, whispering. "Old Spice, you can't be me, but you sure can try. I'm in a library."
"I think I can!" Iron Man shouted as he flew in through the wall. He blasted the dude away and snagged his towel, putting it on. "I am Iron Man, and as good as that guy is, I'm gooder." He opened up the thing and immediately tossed it away. "People buy that crap? Never mind that, buy this instead." He pulled out a bottle from behind his back. "Iron Man presents: Iron Man brand deodorant and sport drink. That's right, bitches, you can wear it and drink it." He tossed the can onto the body of the Old Spice dude and flew away.