Yay! A Warehouse 13 ficlet! I haven't written in like two weeks, but it seems like two YEARS. Just out of curiosity, who thinks the last few episodes have been not so good? The last good one was "Age Before Beauty" if you ask me. The crossover and this weeks with the telegraph weren't bad, but they weren't great either.

Anyway, I've been tossing this idea around in my head for about a week, hope you enjoy! Rated T for the song included, if you know the song you know what I mean! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, PEOPLE!

I can't remember what they categorize rows and isles by so I'm pretending that they group them into sections based on the kind of artifacts that are in them (I think they do this, actually) and then alphabetize the sections.

Disclaimer: I don't own Artie, Claudia, Pete, the Warehouse, or "The Bad Touch", which is by Bloodhound Gang, if anyone cares to hear it.

Pete's Discovery

Artie buzzes Claudia on the Farnsworth. She is, as usual, doing inventory deep within the Warehouse doesn't answer. Grumbling, Artie searches her location on the computer. She is very far away from the office. Artie buzzes Pete, who is also doing inventory as punishment for an incident which involved a flamethrower and Albert Einstein's galoshes.

"Pete? Would you mind going to check on Claudia? She's not answering her Farnsworth."

Pete rolls his eyes and sighs loudly. "Fine. But I expect to be reimbursed in cookies, she's all the way over in section L."

"You do not get 'reimbursement", you are being punished for tampering with artifacts." he says sternly, though the effect is ruined slightly by the fact that he is trying not to smile.

"You're such a hard-ass, Artie." Pete chuckles and closes the Farnsworth. He starts the long trek to the L section.

After about three hours or so (in Pete's mind) Pete finally makes it over to the L section. He walks down a row looking for Claudia. He is about to call her name when he hears something. Creeping stealthily to the end of the isle, he spies Claudia wearing her favorite pair of headphones, the big ones that completely cover your ears. No wonder she didn't hear the Farnsworth go off. Pete thinks, shaking his head. Then Pete starts to laugh.

Claudia is doing a weird little dance as she shelves boxes and scans things, but that's not the funniest part. The funniest part is what she is singing, a song Pete remembers only too well from his time with his last girlfriend.

"You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel." A rather spastic dance move follows this line.

Pete starts to laugh softly and takes out his phone. He films the rest of Claudia's performance and leaves, completely forgetting that he was supposed to send Claudia back to the office. As he walks cheerfully away he thinks, This'll be excellent blackmail later.

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