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I watch you from the distance

I love you from so far

And I know you can't return my love

But I wish that if I keep on hoping

Then you'd receive my love

Even from earth

To Pluto


"Heiji! Wait up!"

I glanced behind to see Kazuha bounding up to me with a big smile. It's been a while since I've seen her, about a month? I hadn't even realised time had passed so slowly. I was too busy being upset over Conan.

Conan… Shinichi… Kudou…

I gave a weak smile towards the girl I so loved. Used to love. My mind whirred at the memories that had me weeping at night.


His eyes glinted evilly as he held the gun tight against Haibara's head. His arms wrapped tight around her waist and her legs dangling uselessly under her. She stared at Shinichi's eyes in fear but the shrunken kid could do nothing but watch. The man in black with long hair motioned us towards the black car.

"Get in." he said.

I started towards the car but he stopped me.

"Not you, him."

I looked behind and eyes widened in fear as Shinichi looked up back at me with an equalled expression as mine. I turned back at the man and growled.

"If he goes, I go." I said in determination.

The man's eyes narrowed.

"I don't want to kill you. Now go before I change my mind."

"I'm not goin anywhere you asshole!"

Gin took a step back as if he was hurt and I thought he winced.

"I was hoping not to show this to your little friends, young detective, but I guess I have to do it earlier then needed."

He pulled the gun away from the girl but pointed it at me and reluctantly pulled the trigger. I felt my stomach explode before me. My eyes widened as I fell on my knees, feeling blood flow from my mouth. I clutched my stomach and looked up at the darkness towering over me. There was a long silence and then another shot and I felt pain pounding on my left shoulder. My teeth were clenched and I could feel my heart go uneven as the gun placed itself on my forehead. I half closed my eyes as I awaited death when I heard a shout.

"Don't kill him! Please! He's already suffering!"

I slowly turned my head towards the left and saw Conan, no, Kudou stare at me with agony and pain. His eyes were teary but I couldn't see the tears. My vision started to blur before me and I collapsed to the ground. I heard him scream my name but it became frantic as he was grabbed and shoved into the car.

"Kudou! No! Where are you taking him?" I screamed.

The man looked back at me and smiled. Strangely, the smile seemed sad.

"Since you're dying, I guess it won't hurt to tell you where we're going." His voice was oddly uneven.

The man took out what looked like an old photograph of an old burned down building.

"This is where we're going, kid. Too bad you're going to die."

I had no strength to say anything back at him like I'd usually do and slumped back to the ground. I felt the warmth suck out of me as I watched the criminal involved in what made both Shiho and Kudou shrink to the bodies of eight and seven year old kids drive off. In this creepy, silent alley, no one could come here in time to save me, But I aint gonna die here. Not while I'm alive. I slowly took my mobile phone out and dialled the police.

"Hello? This is inspector Takagi here."


"T-Takagi…? I need help… its urgent…"

"Heiji? Is that you? Hold on, where are you right now?"

"In an alley… I'm not… sure… track my mobile phone… hurry… there's no time… h-"

I dropped the phone by my side and felt all strength drain out of me.

"Heiji? You there? Heiji?"

The phone echoed silently by my hand. The blood from my shoulder and stomach soaked my cloths red and I closed my eyes…

End flashback.

"How's yer shoulder you've been talkin' 'bout?"

I looked at my shoulder as the memory ended and I felt my nose sting. Probably the wind.

"Its doin fine."

Kazuha smiled and took my good arm in her arms. I didn't even flinch like usual and just stared at her.

"What are ya doin?" I asked

She simply grinned at me, the grin that I used to love. But now, it all seemed different. She was simply just someone I knew. She was like a sister, but not too close.

Kazuha turned her attention to my stomach and pointed at it.

"And your stomach? I heard that it didn't get wounded like last time."

I nodded, as another memory flashed before me.


Everything was white as I tried to open my eyes. Is this heaven? No, the smell, it's familiar, I've been here before… I squinted at the white light then focused on my hearing rather then sight. The beeping of a machine... A hospital! I'm in a hospital! I'm alive! I opened my eyes wide even though it hurt. I was safe, I was safe, and Kudou- I stared blankly at the ceiling and it occurred to me that he wasn't with me. There was a sudden burst of energy as I remembered what happened and sat up.

"Conan!" I shouted in fear.

Pain rapped itself against my pounding head and stomach. I groaned and realized I wasn't alone. Everyone was there. Ran, Kogoro, Doc Agasa, mother, father, detective Takagi, and inspector McGuire, all of them, here, for me. But Kudou wasn't there.

"Whoa! Easy there. You don't want to reopen your wound." Takagi said. "You're really lucky Heiji. If it wasn't for the thick book you had in your jacket, you wouldn't be here right now!"

I looked at him in a confused, yet sad way. I knew he was trying to cheer me up, but it only reminded me of how useless I was in saving Kudou. He was right there with me, but I couldn't do anything.


Takagi gave a little enthusiastic laugh, but seeing that I was no where near the mood he wanted, stopped faintly. I glanced around shortly, absorbing the scene.

"Where's Kazuha?"

Mother touched my hand and smiled at me.

"She's was in a class trip when you got shot. We decided not to tell her because we knew you wouldn't like the attention."

"She's still in the class trip?"


"You guys came all the way from Osaka to Tokyo?"

Father smiled from behind, sitting on a stool.

"Of course we did. You're our one and only son." He said.

"You guys came…For me…" I whispered quietly to myself.

The room was silent for a while until Ran asked a question that I hoped not to hear.

"Where's Conan and Ai chan?"

All eyes were on me, expecting me to answer it. I couldn't say anything. Say what? That I failed to save him? That he was taken away, right before my eyes? That I was powerless? It's not my fault! It's his! If he hadn't suggested going to the beach, he'd still be here! If he hadn't suggested the shortcut, he'd still be here with me! If he hadn't… if he hadn't…

I looked down at my arm, tubes and needles sticking out in a grotesque way. I closed my eyes and shivered at the memory and looked up again, staring right at Ran, who looked also very worried.

"I'm sorry Ran. I couldn't save them."

Everyone's eyes widened in fear of what I had just said. Ran's eyes got teary.

"W-what do you mean? What do you mean you couldn't save them? And Ai! What about her?" her voice was shrill in my ears, they pained me in the heart, and her voice filled sadness that I couldn't bear.

"They were taken. Two guys wearing black took 'em away in a car. I got the number plate, but the car could've been stolen. I'm sorry; I couldn't stop 'em."

I avoided eye contact from everyone as Ran cried. Her cries only made my heartbreak and leak sorrow into my mind. I wish I'd just die. If I did, I wouldn't had to tell her this news.

"Why would they take them? They're just kids!"

"Heiji, tell us the plate number, and we'll try to trace it." McGuire said. His face was so determined, I couldn't say no. I told he the plate no. and he was gone in a flash, calling everyone in the police department to search for the car. But I knew they'd never find 'em. They might find the car, but no one would be in it. I noticed that Takagi was still here and was looking at me in a perplexed way.

"What is it?" I asked.

Takagi seemed deep in thought. "Do you remember anything that might help us find Conan and Ai? Maybe you saw something you shouldn't have, or…"

I looked at him in a rather irritated way.

"Don't ya think I would have told inspector McGuire about the information long time ago if I knew -"

I stopped short when I remember something. The photo! That's where they are! The building was too old and racked to be easily identified, but I knew that place off by heart. I went there with a few other kids, including Kazuha, to show how brave I was. It used to be our hideout time to time till we saw a dead boned dog there. That was eight years ago, no wander I couldn't recognise it when I first saw the photo. It was way older then before. The building was an old burned down hotel that was meant to be taken down. They didn't because the owner paid them to let it be, because it brought him fond memories of his child hood. I told Takagi about it and he was already on it, calling McGuire and pacing around the room, blabbering information. If I remember it correctly, the hotel had a weird name;

Black wings.

End flashback.

"Oh shoot! We're gonna be late! Hurry up Heiji!"

I followed her run blankly and the day seemed to past in a daze. I was barely concentrating in classes. How could I concentrate? It seemed that every word the teacher said brought memories from last month.


Shinichi's POV

"Murderer! You murderer!" I screamed loudly.

Ai, sitting next to me, stayed silent and looked at her hands trembling. The long blonde haired man sat next to me, pointing the gun to my head irritatingly.

"Shut up brat, unless you want a bullet in your head."

I looked up at the man. I didn't realise I was crying until they poured out.

"Shoot me then! Shoot me! What's the point of living? You killed him! You killed him! I don't see the point of going on anymore! Shoot me! I want to be with Heiji! Pull the stupid trigger god dammit!"

I felt a crack on the side of my head and fell limp on the seat.

"Shinichi!" Ai gasped.

My head pounded loudly in my ears and looked at the man, clutching the side of my head.

"You don't think I want to do that? No, you're going to be our experiment. Sherry's going to make new substances and you'll be our guinea pig." The man smirked while saying this.

Shiho stared wide eyed at the man in black.

"You want me to work for you guys again? What the hell makes you think that?" she said angrily, holding on to me. The man brought the gun to my forehead.

"Because if you don't, I'll shoot him. After all, we can get new guinea pigs."

Haibara slumped and looked away from me, depressed. The man grinned and lowered the gun and I glared at him, tears cold on my skin.

"You murderer…"

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