Crazy Forever and Always

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: I apologise for the long wait for the next in the "crazy" series. I wrote this whilst on my unintentionally extended holiday; it will probably end up being a 2 or 3 shot. I hope you like it!

Thank you for your continued support of this Puckleberry series. It makes my day :)


Chapter 1: Prologue

Rachel woke him up practically in the middle of the night, wafting a wet cloth at his face.

"Fuckoff", he groaned, batting it away lazily. "S'too early! S'vacation!"

"C'mon Noah! Wake up! My dads are video calling from Rome and it's costing them a fortune to wait for me to wake you up".

"Babe", he yawned, propping himself up on his shoulders, "you know exactly how to wake me up quickly".

"You know I would Noah, but I don't suppose we would be able to stop and talk to my dads".

He sighed, pulling her on top of him to kiss her thoroughly.

"Noah!" she whined, "We can have sex after we've talked to my dads".

He just sucked on her earlobe and pretended he hadn't heard.

Wifey was wearing only his shirt and was lying on top of him. He would've been completely stupid not to kiss her, specially cos her hair was all mussed up and her face all pouty. Fucking hot.

He stopped suddenly.

"Am I naked?"

She giggled breathily.

"When are you not naked?"

She had a point.

He couldn't help the fact that he always forgot to leave some spare clothes over at hers accidentally on purpose so oops he had to be naked. And it's not like he was going to stop her wearing his clothes. Cos he liked how they smelled like her when he put them on again. And these days they kinda had a joint scent. Twas fucking awesome, they should totally bottle that shit and make millions.

He scooped her up and deposited her ungracefully onto the floor so he could get up and stretch. Yeah she was totally checking him out. He posed subtly.

"I'll be in the lounge", Rachel said, throwing his pants at him.

He trailed after her, pulling in his pants.

That was not funny woman. Stop laughing. She totally put that rug in the way knowing that he would be watching her and she totally knew he would trip over the edge of the rug and go flying. Yeah she should kiss it better. The sentiment was slightly lost as she laughed against his forehead.

"Good afternoon Noah!" Mr Berry said brightly, and Puck peered more closely at the screen. Rachel's dads were sitting on a red leather couch surrounded by so many plants it looked like the couch was in the middle of the fucking jungle or something.

"Hi! How's Rome and shit?"

Rachel settled comfortably on his lap.

"Very nice thank you! It's a beautiful city- very romantic".

Yeah. He didn't get that shit. How could a city be romantic?

"Noah stop looking down at my breasts", Rachel hissed, "My dads can see you".

"We have a present for you guys actually", Mr Berry continued, and Puck once again silently thanked him for pretending not to notice.

"Really?" Rachel clapped her hands in excitement and her boobs kinda squished together.

"Yeah. Our friends Gareth and Doug have invited us to stay in their villa in the north if Italy", one Mr Berry began.

"So we won't be using our hotel room which is booked for another three nights." the other Mr Berry continued, "so we thought you two might want to come to Rome for a few days!"

Rachel jiggled up and down with happiness, which made her boobs also jiggle up and down.

Perhaps he should stop watching them so closely; he kept forgetting to look at the screen.

"Wow thanks sirs", he said.

If Rachel was happy; he was happy. And besides, in Rome there were all those gladiators and bloodthirsty emperors and shit. Like in that Xbox game that Chang had which was totally awesome.

"I've ordered plane tickets and a hire car and everything", Mr Berry was saying, "It should all arrive later today by special delivery."

Puck was actually pretty excited. Okay then he was very excited. He was going on holiday. With Rachel. This vacation was the best ever, and he had thought just staying at Rachel's all day every day was pretty good.

He squeezed her suddenly and she turned her head to peck his lips.

This was going to be fucking awesome.

"So how come you're allowed to be over here if your plane leaves later today?" Mike asked, confused.

"Apparently putting my book of sex positions-which by the way she bought me for my birthday- in a bag doesn't mean I've packed."

"You surprise me", Mike said sarcastically.

"I know!" the sarcasm was lost on puck.

"She's at my house now, putting clothes and shit into this pink suitcase... Chang fucking duck behind that car!"

"My mum and dad got married in Rome", Matt piped up, "Chang duck!"

"Yeah... How can a city be romantic?.. Chang stop throwing grenades!"

"Dunno it's something to do with the buildings..."


What the fuck?

"Sorry", mike said. Git. Just threw a fucking grenade at his own team mate.

"You have to eat pizza", Matt continued, bringing together all his knowledge of Italy. "And spaghetti".

"Ah yeah, can we play that Rome game?" T'would be like reading the tour guide, which Rachel had instructed him to read, but a lot more visually interesting.

The phone rang. Matt walked across in front of them to reach it.

"Fuck off Rutherford! I can't see anything!"

Oops. Just shot Chang- s'okay, he probably didn't notice cos Matt was in the way.

"S'the missus", Matt said, handing him the phone.

Puck thrust the controller at him.

"Don't die", he ordered.

"Hey babe".

"Noah, why do you have a vibrator in your underwear drawer?"


"Erm... You know when it was your birthday?"


She sounded worried, and it wasn't like he could just kiss her and put it all right.

"Well it was a present"


"A present- for your birthday".

"Vibrator?" Mike questioned, casually.

Puck nodded and stuck his middle finger up at him when a smile flickered over his face.

"Yeah, I didn't give it to you cos I wanted to be romantic and shit so I got you that necklace instead."


He could tell she wasn't impressed.

He could just tell these things.

"It's special one", he argued, slightly desperately.

"A special one? How?"

He mumbled something, glaring furiously at the grinning faces if his two friends, who had paused their game and were smiling up at him like loons just to make him even more embarrassed.


"Noah I didn't hear that".

"It's life like", he said eventually.

"Oh? is it?...oh".

There was a silence as she inspected it carefully.

"Okay well I'm going to pack that if you don't mind. And I may have to test it out..."

"Don't do anything until I get there", he ordered, grabbing his keys, "I'll be there in five- oh wait- make that ten, I'm gunna pick up some popcorn."

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