Yes my friends, I am alive...I've just been going through a writer's block. Another SebastianxCiel Fanfic. God, I love this pairing. I'm gonna put up a SebastianxClaude one up soon. :D But for now, this is all you get. XD Anyway, you're probably bored of my insistant rambling now, so I have one last this to say:

ENJOY! and Kuroshitsuji and characters belong to Yana Toboso. Not me.

Smiles. Smirks. Laughter. Love. Passion.

It's all a thing of the past. Of my past.

The things that chain me to my own hellish path, the path that will lead to my ultimate destruction.

I can't stop myself from wanting to feel these things. To want to feel chained to something other than revenge, to want to feel passion born of carnal lust, and the heat take control of my body.

And yet, these are the things that scare me the feel chained to an emotion other than hate, to feel loved, and to feel long forgotten happiness.

And Vulnerability is something I don't want to feel. I don't want to be broken by my own hidden emotions.

Another lonely night. Dreams of my past haunt my every moment; every shadow looks as if it's going to steal my soul into the moonlight that falls across my bedroom floor.

Bright eyes peer out from the mirror across the room. One remembrance of my path of hatred and broken promises.

The door creak pierces the silence of the midnight room as a black crow steps to the side of my bed. Red eyes aglow with concern and hunger. The same emotions shown every time I glance into the ruby orbs. The concern for his next meal.

My childish voice travels through the silent room. "Yes Sebastian? I assume you're worried about the nature of my awakening?"

But tonight something different is shown in the red as well. Something that calms my nervous mind.

"Just to inquire if you feel alright." There it flashes across the midnight irises again.

Something that makes me feel safe as a person, and not just a final feast.

"My Lord...are you alright?" His hand moves to my face.

Something that makes me pull my butler close. The blankets fall to a pile around my knees.

Something that makes me kiss him. Is it our bond that makes me feel this lightened feeling?

My hands trail across his shoulders, my fingers travel to his hair. His lips are light as a feather.

And then I pull away, hands falling to my side, eyes locked with his, violent violet and cobalt blue reflected through the red.

He stares. He breathes slowly. He doesn't move at all. The feeling lights into his eyes, the one I can't recognize.

And his hand moves back to my face.

And I release the breath I've been holding for a small eternity. And I lean into the touch.

"Sebastian..." My voice travels through the silent air. " me."

Something stupid to say to the man that will one day be eating my soul. The very same thing I want to be saved from tonight.

Surprise flashes through his eyes. And a smile blemishes the marble face.

He exhales. "From what, Ciel?" His voice hits my ears softly.

I look down to the arm that hasn't moved from his side, and grab his hand with my small one.


And suddenly I'm falling into the sheets, and my arms are bound against the headboard with black silk.

Hands roam my body. Shirts are shed, pants are lost amongst the blankets, and heat curls off my flesh.

And he kisses me softly. And I find myself bound to his will, his lust my chain.

My breath hitches and his tongue enters my mouth. Our tongues intertwine and break apart. He explores everything. And he presses against my lips harder, and teeth scrap teeth.

He brings his body flush to mine, and I find my legs wrap themselves around his waist.

I arch to his chest, hands moving in the restraints, wanting to touch, to feel, to...anything.

I break away from the kiss; the need for air overpowers the want for a moment.

And blackness surrounds everything. A spark of red burns through. Hands grip my sides and run down my body...tracing, mapping, possessing every inch of pale skin. Need flushes through my veins. My skin burns, black nails rake my skin.

And I open my eyes to find orbs of ruby staring into mine.

His hand grips my boyhood, my hands pull at the bonds, and my face flushes red.

Gasps fell the room as I'm continued to be stroked and fondled. I feel his tongue slide down my neck and suck at the base.

Teeth nip and his tongue soothes as he moves down my body, mapping every dip, curve, and scar.

His breath ghosts across my lower regions, and he takes me into his mouth. My small hands pull and tug at the bonds, my back arches to his chest. My moans fill the room, the silent chanting of his name edging him on.

"Seb...Sebbaa...Sebasti...Ahhhhh..." My tiny voice floats through the room as he hums around my pleasure in acknowledgment. My hips start to buck into his awaiting mouth, my wrists rubbing themselves raw against the silk binds in an attempt to run my hands through his black hair.

My gut curls into a tight ball as I feel my release rushing toward my body. My back arches flush to his body, and I release myself into his mouth. My body falls down to the bed, my eyes close, and my chest heaves up and down as I try to catch my breath.

Pain. That was the first thing I felt when something thin slide inside my body. My face scrunched up, I started gasping for nonexistent breath. " hu...rts..."

He kisses me in an attempt to get my mind away from his fingers as he adds a second and third. The pleasure replaces the pain as I grow used to the stretching and thrusting of the digits. And my hands pull at the silk, aching to touch his skin.

He pulls out the fingers and lines his slickened manhood at my entrance. He locks his eyes with mine, and pushes slowly in.

The air rushes out of my lungs as he reaches deeper inside me. I gasp as he stretches me further.

Butterfly kisses trail across my face and neck as comfort. "Just relax won't hurt as much..." He pants out.

He pulls slowly out and we both release a moan as he pushes back in. I gasp as a small pain trails through my muscles as he repeats the act.

"Sebas...tian...please...more..." Pleasure courses through my body. My hands beg to touch, my breaths erratic.

He pulls out, then pushes in...The pace speeds up as we continue this forbidden dance. The silk serves as a reminder of reality as I lose myself in this pleasure and lust.

He speeds up his thrusts, and his nails dig into my hips. His teeth nip at my bottom lip, and I let him kiss me. The taste of his tongue floods my mouth.

He reaches up and unties my bondages, and I throw my arms around his back. My legs wrap around his waist, angling my body so he can reach deeper.

And then the passion and lust is released through our bond as he grazes a spot deep inside my exhausted body. I scream out his name, and my nails rake long scratches down his back as I search for a grip on something, on anything.

My mouth lays open, gasps and pants for needed air release themselves as he continues to hit that spot. With every thrust I mewl a little more, I lose myself a little more, I care a little less, and I become bound into the lust that threatens to engulf us both.

The feel of my orgasm rushes upon my lithe frame. Sebastian starts to moan a little louder as he pounds into my abused body. My back arches higher and higher as I strive to feel more of this man along my burning flesh. He bites down on my neck to muffle his scream of release as I scream his name to the midnight darkness of the room.

Our bodies lay flush against each other as we struggle to catch our breath. He slowly pulls out, and I muffle a grunt.

He gathers me in his arms and whispers softly in my ear.

"One bound to hatred, unable to feel love. The chains that bind you hold your soul hostage."

I look into his eyes. He continues to speak.

"You were saved tonight be the very thing you feared." His fingers run through my hair as he pulls me closer.

"And the contract that binds your soul to mine is stronger than any bonds that can hold your soul hostage within yourself." He kisses the top of my head softly.

He leans into my ear and barely audible, he whispers...

"You're mine."

I look into his eyes, and I see that indescribable emotion again.

And I find myself vulnerable. Incapable of resistance. And bound to something incredible.

And I'm not afraid.