Author's Note: This takes place at the end of "Hot and Bothered". Please let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.
"I should just turn a few things off," Sam said, gently disentangling himself from Andy, climbing off the bed. He flipped the light in the bedroom off, leaving Andy alone in the candlelit room.
She sighed, running her hands over her face and taking deep breaths to calm herself. What was she doing? The phone rang, distracting her from her thoughts. Callaghan. She couldn't deal with that right now, not here. She quickly ignored the call.
Swinging her legs to the side of the bed, Andy quickly glanced around the room. She spotted her green top and reached over for it.
Sam came back into the room to see Andy pulling her shirt back over her head. He paused, then gave her a slight, sad smile. She turned away from him, couldn't bear to look at the hurt in his eyes.
"Yeah, I guess everything goes back to normal," he said, frowning. With a slight nod of resignation he left Andy alone, again.
Andy, still seated on the edge of the bed, looked forward. She could see his dresser in front of her but soon the crisp lines began to blur and she could feel her eyes filling with tears. This wasn't what she had planned, if you could call it a plan. She came over wanting him to make it better… wanting him to make her feel better, but if at all possible she felt even worse.
Sam was pulling a beer out of his refrigerator when he heard her crying softly. "Oh, hell," he cursed softly. Replacing the beer, he made his way back to his bedroom and observed her quietly for a moment from the door before making his presence known.
"Andy," he began, softly, kneeling in front of her. She had her head in her hands, elbows resting on her knees. Sam gently pulled her hands away from her face, forcing her to look at him.
She wiped furiously at her eyes, "I'm sorry," she said, hiccupping, "I'm sorry." She hated crying in front of him, but the tears kept flowing. Her heart physically ached.
Sam moved to sit on the bed next to her, pulling her against his chest. "It's okay, Andy," he tried to soothe her, "it's okay."
Feeling his arms around her, gently holding her, knowing he forgave her for earlier, it was too much. Andy tried to stop the tears from coming, but they came anyway. She sobbed against him, she could feel her tears wetting his still bare chest but he didn't seem to mind. He just stroked her hair, whispering words into her ear that she couldn't understand.
Eventually she was able to pull it together. "I killed someone today," she choked out, not moving from his embrace. "I took someone's life."
"I know." Sam said, not offering anything else. He didn't try to reason with her, to tell her she did what she had to do, that he would have done the same thing. She already knew all that. He just kept her pulled close against him. With one arm tightly wrapped around her, he reached with the other to grab a tissue from his bedside table, "Here you go."
Andy accepted it with a quiet "Thanks," before dabbing her eyes. She could feel her nose running so she pulled away from him and turned, trying to blow her nose as quietly as possible. Turning back to him she smiled slightly, "Sorry."
Sam just grinned, "Its okay." He picked up the small wastebasket next to his bed and Andy threw the tissue away. They sat quietly for a few moments, their shoulders touching.
"I'm sorry about earlier." Andy said. "I don't know what…"
Sam cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Its okay."
She nodded, taking a deep breath. "Thanks." Looking over at him she asked hesitantly, "Would if be okay if I stayed here tonight?"
Sam was caught off guard, but tried to not show it. "Sure," he said, stumbling slightly over his words, "Yeah, that's fine."
"Its just," She tried to explain, "I went home and tried to sleep and every time I closed my eyes…" she shook her head, unable to continue lest she start crying again.
"You see him," Sam finished for her.
She nodded. "I just keep replaying it over and over in my head."
"I understand," Sam said, standing up. "You're going to have to stop doing that at some point."
Andy looked up at him. "Is this from personal experience?" She realized she had never asked him that question before.
Sam shrugged, "It's not something I like to talk about, but its happened a couple a times."
"A couple?" Andy asked.
Sam looked at her before turning around. "Four." He clarified, feeling the need to clear his throat afterwards. He yanked open one of the drawers to the dresser, "Do you need something to sleep in?"
Andy didn't answer him right away, trying to absorb the information she had just heard. "Four?" She asked.
Sam turned to face her again, "Yeah." Andy watched as his jaw clenched, the light from the candle reflecting off of the muscles of his torso. He folded his arms in front of him and she couldn't help but notice the way his biceps jumped into place.
She swallowed. "Does it get any easier," she asked, not knowing she wanted the answer to be.
"Andy," Sam answered, moving to sit beside her again, "I can't answer that for you. For me, it never gets easier but its part of the job. "
She nodded, the look in her eyes encouraging him to go on, pleading with him to give her something to hang on to.
"That guy the you killed today," Andy flinched at his words, "he hurt a lot of innocent young girls. Killed them. If you hadn't of done what you did today, he would have hurt someone else. He might have killed you."
Andy nodded at his words. Logically, she knew all of it.
Sam put a hand on the back of her neck, massaging gently. "You just have to keep telling yourself that until you believe it."
Andy hung her head lower subconsciously, giving him more access to the tight muscles in her neck, enjoying the feeling of his strong hands on her. She moaned quietly as he worked a particularly tight spot.
Hearing Andy moan was doing things to Sam that he wasn't proud of, especially under the circumstances. He shifted on the bed but didn't remove his hands.
Andy noticed the movement and glanced over at him. She observed him unnoticed for a moment until Sam made eye contact. She licked her lips self-consciously. Sam couldn't help but notice, remembering what her lips felt like against his not long ago.
Sam opened his mouth to speak, but Andy put a finger to his lips. Sam used the hand on her neck to pull her closer to him, his eyes on her lips. She leaned her forehead against his, barely touching. "How about those pajamas?" Andy asked after a tense moment.
Sam blinked and then pulled away, "Yeah, of course," he said, standing. "I don't have any girl clothes," he said, chuckling uncomfortably.
Andy laughed. "I didn't expect you too."
Sam pulled a t-shirt and a pair of clean boxers out. "Here you go," he said, handing them to her. He motioned to bathroom, "you can change in there. There's probably a new toothbrush under the sink if you need it."
She nodded, grabbing the clothes from him and slipping into the bathroom.
Not sure of what to do, Sam quickly changed into a pair of pajama pants he pulled from the very back of a drawer and tried to remember the last time he had actually worn pajama pants. He tried to do anything but think of his rookie, who was currently undressing in the bathroom. The bathroom that was attached to his bedroom. That held his bed.
Sam let out a frustrated sigh. It wasn't the time to be thinking about that, about her, that way. He crossed the room to his closet and opened the door.
"You're very neat." Andy observed from across the room. He hadn't heard her come back in. Quickly pulling a set of sheets from the top shelf, Sam turned to face her.
She stood before him in a soft black t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts she had rolled at the waist to keep up. Sam's eyes travelled down her legs. He realized he'd never actually seen her legs before. They were beautiful, long and tan. Andy's slight cough brought his eyes back up to hers.
"What?" He asked, forgetting what she had said earlier.
"Neat," she pointed to his closet, which held his shirts carefully arranged and his pants folded precisely over the hangers. His shoes were lined up along the floor in defined rows. "You're very neat. I wouldn't have expected that."
Sam just shrugged his shoulders. He liked things arranged, in order.
Andy noticed the sheets he held in his hand. "What are those for?"
"Um," Sam coughed, "well, you can have the bed. I'm just going to go to the living room."
"What?" Andy asked, slightly panicked.
Sam grinned, "It's clean, I promise. I changed the sheets yesterday," He assured her, gesturing towards the bed.
"No, no," Andy said, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her shirt. His shirt. "Its not that."
Sam raised his eyebrows. "Well then," he asked, "What is it?"
Andy looked at him and then down to the floor. "I just…"
"What is it McNally?"
All night she had been "Andy" and now he was calling her by her last name. "I just thought you would stay with me," she blurted out, a light temper to her words. "That's all," she said, quietly.
Sam was slightly taken aback. He hadn't expected that. "Okay."
Andy smiled softly at him. "I know its silly I just," she bit her bottom lip, "I just don't want to be alone."
Sam nodded, replacing the sheets. "That's fine. I'll stay here. I thought you'd want me in the other room."
Shaking her head slightly, Andy spoke softly. "No."
The two just looked at each other for moment, neither speaking, both trying to read the other.
"Okay," Sam said, clapping his hands together, breaking the moment. "I'm going to brush my teeth." He gestured to the bed, smiling. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back."
Andy laughed uncomfortably. "Okay." She moved over to the bed and began to pull the sheets back. "Hey Sam," she called.
He peaked his head out of the bathroom, "Yeah?"
"Which side of the bed do you sleep on?"
He grinned, "Closest to the door."
"In case someone breaks in?" She asked knowingly.
"Yep." He ducked back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
Andy settled into the bed, pulling the sheets up under her arms. She turned onto her side, facing the windows. The exhaustion of the day was finally catching up to her. She watched the patterns that headlights made across the walls in his room, lulled by the quiet sounds of the city filtering in.
In the bathroom, Sam splashed water up on his face. What are you doing? He asked himself. The night had not gone anything like he had expected and continued to change course at every turn. Sam saw Andy's clothes folded neatly in the corner of the bathroom had to chuckle. No, that was definitely not was he was expecting.
Sam brushed his teeth and took time to floss. Looking in the mirror one last time, Sam opened the door of the bathroom and stepped out, taking in the site before him. Andy, in his bed, in his clothes, sheets wrapped tightly around her body. She was turned on her side, her breathing soft and regular. She was asleep.
He took a moment to blow the candles in the room out before climbing into the bed beside her. Sam was careful not to disturb her but once he was settled she was the one that slide closer to him.
Thinking that she was awake, Sam leaned over her body to look at her face. She was still sleeping, he realized. She was probably just seeking out a warm body, Sam told himself as he settled back against the pillows. Andy pressed her body against his side. It was innocent, Sam told himself again. She didn't know what she was doing.
"Sam," Andy said hoarsely, startling him.
"Could you…" she reached behind her to grab his arm and pulled it around her. "Could you just hold me, please?"
Sam swallowed nervously, but pulled her tightly against him. "Of course."
"Goodnight, Sam," Andy said, sleep overtaking her once again.
"Goodnight Andy," Sam whispered.
Later that night Sam was woken up by Andy. She was thrashing about in her sleep, practically screaming, "No, no, no, no…"
Sam tried to wake her up gently, grimacing as she landed a particularly hard blow to his side. "Andy," he held her arms to her side, "Andy wake up."
She did, breathing heavily, unaware of where she was. "Sam?" She asked, cautiously.
"I'm here Andy, I'm right here." He pulled her securely against him, rubbing a hand up and down her back. "You're safe Andy, you're safe, I promise," he tried to calm her.
She held herself tightly against him, her hands grasping at his back, her legs tangled with his. "I'm sorry," She cried softly, "I'm so sorry."
"Shh, its okay," he whispered to her, smoothing her hair away from her face. "It was just a dream, go back to sleep."
Andy clung to him, her cries weakening as she fell back asleep.
The alarm clock woke her up. She turned to see Sam already sitting up in the bed, looking down at her.
"Good morning," he said, yawning.
Andy propped herself up on her elbows, "Good morning."
Sam rubbed a hand over his face, aware that the situation was awkward but too tired from the restless night to care. "How do you take your coffee?" He asked, climbing out of the bed.
"Cream, no sugar," She answered.
"I'll be right back," he said, leaving the room.
Andy fell back onto the bed, groaning. She was about to sit up and gather her things when Sam returned with her coffee.
"Here," he said, handing it to her as she sat up. "Listen, I have to go to work."
"Okay," Andy said, looking down into her mug. She wasn't going in that day or the next few days. "I don't," she tried to joke, "I guess if you want some vacation time you have to shoot someone."
They both laughed, uncomfortable.
Andy pointed at his side, "What is that?"
Sam looked down to what she was pointing at. A nasty bruise had formed on his side, no doubt from where she had hit him that night.
"Its nothing," Sam said, turning away from her to pull some clothes from his closet. "I'm just going to hop in the shower. There's food in the kitchen," he pointed in that direction, "you're more than welcome to help yourself."
"Thanks, Sam." She paused, and then gestured towards herself and the bed, "For everything."
Sam nodded. "You're welcome," he said, sincerely. They stared at each other, both trying to decide if they should say something.
Sam smiled at her. "I'm going to take that shower," he said, ducking into the bathroom.
Andy sipped at her coffee slowly, trying to decide what to do. Her clothes were in the bathroom and she couldn't very well walk home in Sam's boxers.
Sam heard the bathroom door open and the soft pad of footsteps. "Andy?" he called out, only to hear the soft "click" of the door closing.
Andy, thankful the shower curtain was a dark blue and not see-through, quietly grabbed her clothes from the bathroom. She heard same call her name, but decided against answering. Changing quickly, she folded his boxers and t-shirt and left them on his bed.
When Sam got out of the shower he wrapped a towel around his waist and called into the bedroom, "Andy?" Hearing no response, he opened the bathroom door to only to see the clothes she had worn the night before folded neatly on his bed.
"Andy," he called once more, making his way into the kitchen. He knew before he had even called for her. She was gone.