"DOCTOR!" Amy yelled with her fiery Scottish accent, calling from somewhere in the vast maze of corridors. "DOCTOR! You are a dead alien this time – I can't believe what you have in this freaky spaceship of yours!" She did really love the TARDIS, just not as much as the Doctor possibly could.
"Oi! You'll offend her. Don't listen to that angry little human," he added, stroking the TARDIS's control panel affectionately. "What's got your knickers in a twist now, Pond? I swear you come up with a different complaint every…" he trailed off into silence as Amy emerged clutching a rather incinerated broom in one hand and a slightly deformed looking crow bar in the other. Evidently, the second had burnt her hand from where it must have been melted by something of a ridiculously high temperature. Her face was a blackened picture of anger, shock, annoyance and disbelief, but mainly annoyance (she knew she could never be that angry with the Doctor, with his boyish grin). Not much could be said for the clothes, except they too were sooty, and bearing a distinct smell of smouldering.
"Ah," was all that the Doctor's dropped- jawed mouth could make out. They stood staring at each other for some time, Amy's beautiful eyes piercing the Doctor like they were seeking revenge and focusing hard in an attempt to burn a hole in his bow tie. Finally regaining the use of his mind, the Doctor rushed to his companion.
"What is that thing, creature that you have lurking in here, that saw me, swept me up in its beak while I grabbed a very conveniently placed broom to hit it with, before realising that it breathed fire from it's sides, which killed the broom, then ran down the hall, screeching louder than that giant Mother scrapergull we helped, closing it's grip on me all the time, smashing into anything that was red, like a bull in a china shop, breathing fire on a crow bar I managed to drag along the way which melted in my hand!" Amy exploded. Jaw dropping further with every word she said until he was nearly dragged to the floor, the Doctor stood back slightly in case she decided to breathe fire at him.
Eventually, he summoned the courage to say simply, "So you met Bruno, then?"
"Don't you mean Burno?" she sarcastically replied, expecting an apology and an "Of course, now he's hurt I see what an idiot I've been, keeping him here. How could he? I'll take him to the savage planet of Raoplano straight away and he'll fit in very well on a planet with no morals. How could he do this to a lady?"
But of course nothing could ever be so simple with the Doctor, no matter how much she suspected he had secret, passionate feelings about her. "Well that's the irony in it. Bruno sounds quite similar to Burno, which sounds like burning, which is of course.." he trailed off again, seeing the piercing stare from Amy, which he such adored but which also stopped him in his tracks. "What he does. Sorry. Let me have a look at your hand. He has a fascination with red, like all Luteusami. He must have seen your hair." Her gorgeous red hair! He held out his hand for Amy to place hers in so he could examine it and reluctantly she did, still scowling at him. She wasn't going to forgive the Doctor that easily though.
She dropped the crow bar on his foot and watched, laughing as he hopped around his brilliant control system, clutching his foot. "Sorry! I'll have a word with him," he pleaded desperately. He should have known she wanted revenge.
Silently and delicately, he examined Amy's poor hand. "How did you manage to do this to your hand any way?" he scowled at her.
"I was holding the crow bar and that that beast of a friend of yours blew fire on it! I thought I told you this."
"Yes, but I would expect that you'd drop it at seeing the flames coming near that weapon," he questioned, looking deep in thought. Amy dreaded to think what of.
"Well, I couldn't just abandon my only useful form of defence, could I?" Amy replied.
"Of course," he murmured, frowning at her hand as he prodded it and found more charcoaled objects embedded, still sizzling. "So what did you do to get rid of him? I'm guessing he's not still wandering safely around the TARDIS." The Doctor, expecting to be hit for the last remark, rushed up to get some odd instrument of his.
"Safely? That creature doesn't know the meaning of the word "safely." He couldn't…" she stopped, seeing that daft grin on his face again, telling her it was just a joke. "Not. Funny."
"Sorry, but he is harmless really, as long as you're careful in you're choice of clothes and… hair," he smirked. "Any way what did you do with my little friend?"
Amy, eye brows raising at his description of the monster she was kidnapped by, because that's what it was really, no matter where it came from, paused for a moment in an attempt to think of some way of teasing the Doctor, replied, "Oh he had a little slip back there. Thought you'd hear the thud." She paused.
The Doctor's face turned slowly from slight amusement to pale, confused and lost. He looked like this lovely, beautiful young woman, whom he loved so unbelievably much, had just wrenched out both his kind, lonely hearts. "So is he…?" he dared to ask, dreading only one answer.
"No, you ninny!" she joked, obviously not realising how attached he was to his fellow alien friend and he gave a sigh of great relief. "No, he just kept destroying things until I remembered that completely red room that you mentioned. We got to a room with a vibrant red door and I just thought, it would be nice. Thought it would probably be just about his idea of Heaven. So, as he stopped right outside the door, longing to enter, I just thought I'd help him, open the door and give him a nudge inside. Dropped me, trampled on me with his huge, heavy body and just strolled in. I won't go into details about what he did after that."
Once again, jaw dropping, the Doctor looked like his hearts had skipped a beat. "You," he started.
"Yes, me," said Amy, rather enjoying the moment too much.
"Let," he said slowly.
"Yep, do you need some help with this sentence?" she teased.
"In, to bathe in the glory of the colour that is red? Yep. Just trying to be friendly and return the favour," Amy smiled.
Shaking off his inability to speak, the Doctor strode towards Amy with that, "You human, Amy, have somehow surprised me once more," look.
"You let him into? To that red room which I told you must not be ruined because it was supposed to be a gift to a friend for his 250th birthday? The room that I told you I had been preparing for 20 years, gathering red artefacts from his 5 favourite galaxies, from his list of his top 80 places in each galaxy? 250 years is a big number for Luteusami and I was getting excited about showing it to him," the Doctor said like a sulking, disappointed kid.
"Sorry, but he looked like he was enjoying it!" Amy cried, trying to make up for her slight hiccup. So this was her best attempt to compensate for what she had done. It must have been terrible for the Doctor to get into such a mood for. Sometimes, Amy would have died, in his arms, just to get inside his head, and this was one of those moments.
"That's not the point," the Doctor murmured, turning his back to her.
"Well," she concluded, "can he actually count?"
Some deep and meaningful thinking and a couple of frustrated self-kicks later, the Doctor finally answered, quite simply, "No."
"Couldn't you just tell him that it actually is his birthday? After all, he did look like he was getting on a bit," she tried.
"Oi!" he complained. He thought carefully. "I suppose there were those years he got stuck in the time loop," he looked over his shoulder at Amy confused look when he mentioned "time loop."
"Long story but, I suppose, technically, it might be about his birthday" he compromised.
The Doctor turned around to stare fully at his wonderful companion, who he knew was so much more. How did Amy always know how to make everything seem ok? He smiled slightly, realising that everything wasn't all bad. She was the one grinning now, thinking how did she end up with such a bizarre, insane, loveable time lord?
"Go and wish him a happy birthday, then, you old softy," Amy said, her grin lighting up her face, and his too.
"Ok, but I'll be back in a minute to sort out your hand. 'You just rest it for now and don't do anything, very serious burns you know," he lectured.
"Fine," she agreed, just wishing she could lay her tired head against his chest and hear the rhythmic sound of his heartbeats. But she knew she ached too much, and besides, she stank of smouldering things. "But you might consider put sign posts up around here. It took me ages to…" Amy suddenly felt an incredible pang of nausea and saw only the spinning colours of the room and the concerned Doctor running to her. His surprisingly speed as he dashed to catch her. Her body went numb and she just felt the Doctor softly gripping her shoulders and catching her as she collapsed into his arms. Everything muffled but she could distinctively still hear his terrified voice, screaming, "AMY! AMY! It's going to be ok. Lie down. Talk to me. AMY!"