BCY: Hi-ya guys! I'm sooooo sorry about updating so late!
Kiba: Your not gonna go off with a bunch of excuses are you?
BCY: I would never! And what excuses could I possibly come up with?
Kiba: You burned fourteen cookies, exploded a bottle of soda, and nearly poisoned your best friend with the cookies you made.
BCY: No! I made sure to bake the cookies for so long that they couldn't harbor any more toxic chemicals.
BCY: Oh yeah, I would also like to announce that I have decided to NOT make this story a yaoi. I don't want any complaints from parents saying that I've ruined their kid's childhood.
BCY: Well anyway, I would like to thank Tsuki6047. Wait, I think she changed her pen name. She gave me a lot of advice and I would like to give her my sincere thanks. Let's all give her a hand.
BCY: o.o'' Well anyway, let's start the story.
I still shiver in horror after that experience a few minutes ago. How dare that little brat do this to me? (Um, Kiba? After being turned into a dog, I don't think that you should be calling Naruto little.) Will you please just shut your damn trap? You don't know how terrifying it is! That thing just invaded my sacred areas! Oh my god, what am I gonna tell my future children? What would they say if they came from something that was touched by-(Whoa, way too much information. Anyway, why would anyone want to marry you of all people?) Shut up. (Is that the only comeback you can think of?)
Stupid author. Wait till I get my hands on you, then you'd wish you were never born!
"Hey little doggy, why are you at yourself?" That all too familiar and evil voice still haunts me in my dreams. (Um, Kiba? It's only been five minutes.) Shut up. Anyway, that thing was looking at me with its big evil eyes. I'm sure somewhere in that tiny wicked mind of his; a devilish scheme was forming to take over the world. Suddenly, my eyes snapped into focus with dreaded realization.
"Ah-ha! I have seen through your evil plot! First you were gathering an army of cats and dogs, then you're gonna dress them in pink tutus and make them infiltrate the Hokage's Mansion!" I screamed hysterically. Of course, nobody understood me since I was a dog, but I didn't care. "You've been planning to kidnap Obama this entire time! BUT HA! I'M TELLING YOU NOW, I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT!"
(Kiba… ARE YOU ON FRIGGIN CRACK?) No…well maybe. (Did you steal candy from Konohamaru and get high off of them?) No. He would be coming after me with pitchforks if I did. (Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?) No, how could I- wait, how did you know? (HA! I KNEW IT!)
My cheeks turned red as the truth came out. I decided to take what dignity I had left and focus on Naruto. Uh-oh. My eye widen in horror as I saw what was in his hand. It was a device that was feared by Inuzukias all over the world! This device was the source of our screams of terror and is why all of us sleep with a night light. It's the horrible, terrifying, unjust, evil, malicious, ugly frightful, appalling, and atrocious-
(Dude, calm down. Its just a collar) It's a friggin SHOCK COLLAR! (That's what you get for screaming so much earlier.) I was just about to yell at him again when Naruto Pinned me down to the ground and wrapped the hideous gadget torture tool around my neck. At that moment, I knew my life was over.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO-" my howl was suddenly a painful shock on the back of my neck. How did it feel? Well, I'd love to tell you that I took it like a man, but since it felt worse than smelling a certain blonde's fart during the Chunin Exams, I pretty much almost fainted. "AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH-OW!"
"Doggy, you have to be quiet or the neighbors are gonna kill us!" Naruto pleaded desperately. I quickly snapped my muzzle shut. Getting chased by another mob doesn't sound too exciting to me. In, fact, excitement was the last thing I need because I feel like I'm about to collapse.
I heard Naruto breathe a sigh of relief as I settled down on his couch. He slowly walked away toward his bedroom and turned off the lights.
Let me tell you something. If I knew anything on the laws and physics of the speed of light, it would be that it gets here too early in the morning. There I was, having my beauty sleep, then the next thing I knew Mother Nature was shining her jumbo flashlight in my eyes.
I yawned and stretched, then looked around while rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I then miraculously discovered that trying to rub your eyes with dog paws was not a good idea since you would end up finding mysterious pieces of fur stabbing into your optical organ. (Congratulations! Captain Obvious just won the Idiot Prize! *hands him a trophy made out of several burned cookies(I wonder where those came from?)*) I sneezed, causing the poisonous food to fly into the author's face with the force of a bullet. Serves him right. (YOU ARE DEAD! YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!) YOUR MOM!
The author was about to smack me over the head with a frying pan when Naruto skipped cheerfully into the room, humming a song that sounded suspiciously like Miley Cyrus. Upon hearing the horror of the song, combined with the blonde's gruesome voice, the author promptly disappeared with a poof of smoke from my mind. Wait. All that author stuff was happening in my head? Wow, I really need a good doctor. (The good doctors with the long pointy needles?)
"Little doggy, it's time for your first visit to the vet!" Naruto announced a bit too cheerfully. Speak of the devil! Before I could do anything, Naruto leashed my collar and dragged me outside.
Not that I don't like walks, but if the path leads anywhere near the damn vet center, I'm outta here. Although somehow, after running over four hot dog stands, and being dragged into a certain shop with a certain old lady and getting several smacks with a broom along with something involving a can opener, Naruto managed to drag me into the torture cent- I mean the Animal Center. We waited at the front desk for a while so that the blonde could talk to the nurse. I almost fell asleep before I was lifted onto a metal table. My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as a young lady with a large white coat and green rubber gloves walked toward me. And, in her hand was the biggest frickin' needle I've ever seen. I know what you're thinking. Aw, is Kiba afraid of a teeny tiny needle? Well heck I am! That thing was at least a foot long and the vaccine in it smelled like friggin seagull splat! (How do you even know what that smells like?) Mind your own business!
I was so busy arguing with the author that I didn't notice how close the needle was. Suddenly, thanks to my ninja reflexes, I discovered that I could still use a few jutsus in my dog form.
Meanwhile, halfway across the village, Tsunade was being forced to look over a pile of "very important documents." Every now and then, her eyes would slowly close before snapping open due to being hit over the head with a folder by Shizune.
Tsunade studied one of the files for a second (*gasp* It's a new record!) before opening her mouth to say something. She was immediately cut off by her assistant.
"If you're asking for another bathroom break, the answer is no. You just had one five minutes ago!" Shizune stated sternly.
"No, it's not that," Tsunade said slowly. "I was looking at the insurance records of the village and I was wondering why the Kohona Animal Center was charged so much money. It's five times more than other businesses." Shizune suddenly winced at the question.
"Well, you see… the dogs there get really-"
"HELP! Lady Tsunade, we need your medical assistance immediately!" A doctor suddenly shouted from the other side of the office door. The Hokage quickly jumped up and threw the door open.
"Is it life threatening?" she demanded. "And how was the victim injured?" The doctor gulped under the leader's authority.
"There's a girl waiting in the emergency room." He replied. "She has large gashes on her body, especially her hands. The call for her ambulance was from the Kohona Animal Center."
The Hokage's facial expression suddenly went from extremely serious to simply dumbstruck.
"Does that answer your question?" Shizune sighed.
BCY: Yayz! Another chapter complete!
Kiba: Hey have you seen Naruto? I haven't heard him screaming for a while.
(Naruto is seen on the ground with foam coming out of his mouth)
BCY: OMG! What happened to him?
Kiba: He ate one of your cookies.
BCY: ! Are you implying that my masterful baking skills are flawed?
Kiba: Pretty much.
*Insert loud exploding noises here*
BCY: Well, thanks for reading! And don't forget to review!
Kiba: (from inside a giant crater) If you don't, BCY will force feed you with his cookies!
BCY: *Looks away innocently* I would never do that! But I would greatly appreciate it if you could give me more ideas to torture Kiba with. All ideas will be carefully considered by me.
So move the mouse down to the button over there and click!