"Thank you very much, Female Protag!" N waved a hearty good-bye to his dear trucker friend as he exited the truck. He was so glad he met her during driving school. Whenever he needed a ride anywhere, he could coung on Female Protag, especially since people ran away screaming whenever she went on the road. Getting to places quickly is so much easier when there's a clear path.
The house N entered was quaint, but deep down in the basement was something wonderful. Deep down in the basement was a girl party sleep-away.
"Hey N, who do you like?" Cheren giggled. She was on her bed, knees folded up and hands covering her mouth. You see, Cheren feels the deep need to protect people from her giggles as they have the potential to kill people. Male Protag was awkwardly sitting on the couch across the room, ducking his head as he tried to endure girl talk.
"Weeell," N said, building up the tension. She was in center stage right now, and she was going to milk it for all it was worth. "Pokemon are my friends!"
Cheren stared back awkwardly, while Male Protag tried his best to disappear from the room entirely. N decided to pop the bubble with a giggle that said 'No, this isn't going to be that type of fanfiction', and the girl talk resumed.
"No, but seriously, who do you like?"
"Male Protag is pretty cut-"
"Did you not just hear me say seriously?" Cheren interrupted, giggles filling up the room like a small god. Male Protag's corner of discomfort became a corner of discomfort and shame.
"Well, if you want seriously...," N paused a moment, eyes revealing deep thought. Then they became normal, sleazy eyes as she broke out into a grin. "Well, Professor Araragi IS pretty cute."
"Wait, what!" Male Protag injected, blushing furiously. No man should have to go through this.
"Ambiguously gay!" N reminded MP. The statement overflowed with pride and the general essence of N.
"Seriously, MP, haven't you seen him? N could pass off as any gender and we wouldn't know it!" Cheren informed.
"For all we know, I'm secretly a guy who's passing himself off as a girl to get in here. Good thing I'm not the kind of sleazeball who'd do something like that, right?" The grin on N's face was the grin of conmen right before they happily tell you that you no longer have a house and are now a convicted criminal in three different states. It was the type of grin that made everyone in the room paranoid about if N was actually a girl or not.
"...Right." Cheren decided now would be a good time for a subject change.
"HEY EVERYONE!" Pearl exploded loudly into the room. This entrance did not match his outfit, considering he was wearing something that he assumed looked classy. In reality, it looked like someone had leftover frills and a red box and couldn't quite decide what to do with it, so it ended up as a shirt. What confused Cheren was the fact that despite this, it somehow managed to pull off classy. "I am here to help warm you up for the man!"
Cheren felt a twinge of sorrow to hear that someone went with Pearl. He was a rather good kid, but him being around other people just highlighted his...eccentricities. Male Protag groaned in the background, and the sorrow turned into anxiety. Male Protag was quiet, but he was reliable in his ability to predict 'Arceus, why did I have to live through that' moments.
"Oh picnicing Palkias," Male Protag murmered to himself. MP is too much of a wuss to use Arceus' name in vain.
"Speaking of POKAAAAAAAAAYMON," Pearl began. Cheren started mentally counting the steps of this process in her head. "There are many types of Pokemon! One type is Pichu, known for it's zap!"
Step One: List a random fact that everyone already knows. Cheren heard groans coming from MP and some mock clapping coming from N. At least, she hoped it was mock clapping.
"And you guys must've been one before you evolved into Pikachus, because you guys are shockingly beautiful!"
Cheren facepalmed, and was highly disappointed that N actually grinned at that. And that she hadn't quit the clapping. "Good, good, now let's see the emo kid at the back take a turn!" N smiled, smirk growing even larger as the kid, Silver, went through a series of facial expressions. It seemed to begin with a 'I was dragged over here, but at least I can blend in with this lamp and houseplant unnoticed.'. It then shifted into 'Oh crap, I actually need to do stuff now', progressed into 'Wait, this means I need to make a lame pun, Damn Arceus', and finally settled into 'Wait, did she just call me emo?'
'Uh...," Silver started gracefully. He then remembered that he was a hormonal teenage boy, and that this were girls. He then forgot about that when he remembered that if he managed to screw this up enough, he could be out of this place within fifteen minutes. So Silver turned on his death glare, which is basically his normal facial expression multiplied a couple thousand times, and began. "My love for you is like a Jirachi. It's there for one week, but then it disappears for a thousand years. Can I go now?" Silver glanced back at Pearl, who looked bummed out at the fact that Silver was insulting random strangers instead of flirting with random strangers. It probably had something to do with the fact that one of the random strangers was a guy.
"Actually, isn't that only an urban legend?" Cheren had been unimpressed since the whole thing began, and hadn't been able to take any of it seriously since...actually, basically since she'd realized it was Pearl and not someone she could imagine having a future with or as being able to kill her.
"No, there are several records of it in ancient documents," Silver snapped back. "Can I go now?"
"No, you still have to make someone fall in love with y-"
"You know about those? Aren't they amazing? It shows how you need to be friends with pokemon, and only a trainer who has trained their heart can get their wish!" If you can't tell this is N from the 'Be friends with Pokemon desu' thing, you know nothing about this character.
Silver cringed at this statement, for reasons unknown to everyone in the room. "Can I go now?" "No, you seem pretty knowledgable about this stuff. You could be useful. Here, try solving this puzzle," N stated, tossing his Rubix Cube key chain at Silver. Silver replied by looking at it blankly, wondering why there were ameobas all over it. "Oh, we were painting nails earlier."
Silver wondered how that explained anything at all. "If you solve it, I'll make Barry let you leave." N smirked again. Silver wanted to comment on how nobody could make Barry budge when he got like this. Then he noticed that N had taken on the aura of a sleazeball who also happened to singlehandedly be a criminal syndicate and possibly a sexual delinquent. Then again, the delinquent part applies to all people who're ambiguously gay. "It's when she gets all creepy like this that I wonder why you hang out with her," Male Protag mused. He remembered Cheren saying some stuff, but he was too busy eavesdropping on N and Silver's conversation. Because that's what good role models do!
"So how do you think of Pokemon?"
"Do you think Pokemon are treated badly?"
"I guess some are."
"Could they be treated better?"
"What do you thi-"
"I completed the puzzle, can I go now?" Silver hung up the cheap Rubix Cube, all the color neatly lined up. "In one moment. First, you need to know that you've solved the puzzle to my heart!" N said this, all the while keeping the creepy criminal syndicate aura from earlier. "If we work together, our hearts will be the hearts to take the dimensions and twist it until it's all designed for the pokemon!" N seemed rather happy that his group of extremists had increased to two. Pearl seemed happy that his grand plan had worked. Silver was worried because he felt like this was less of love of friendship and more of 'Hey, let's do something stupid that'll end in karmic death for both of us!' This would've never happened back when everybody confused him for an emo kid, as opposed to just 'most people' like it was today.
"Come on, Silver, we're going to go make the world a better place for Pokemon!" N grinned. "You have the smarts and the right mindset, so you'll be the perfect partner!" And so Silver and N dashed off to become the antongonist of the Pokemon. Silver probably ended up being used as a human shield somewhere along the road, which is why he doesn't appear in game.
"...I think I better go get a starter Pokemon and start my Pokemon journey so I can stop N's evil scheme when it gets out of control," MP murmered."Torpedoing Taurus, why does this always happen to me." And so, that's how MP began his pokemon journey! He picked Mijumaru and lost whatever manliness he had.
Cheren and Pearl were left in the room together, so their crack pairing still has potential to be in this fic. EVERYONE ENDS UP HAPPY~