KitsuneFreak: What's up with them plot bunnies? I don't know if anyone's attempted this but here's my take on the Vongola famiglia…. Specifically, the name itself. A humorous attempt that I hope you will enjoy!

I find that there aren't enough 1st Gen stories…. Mou. I added 10th Gen at the end, as a little cute omake.

Disclaimer: Don't own it so be nice to me already!

{Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…}


"Yes, G" the blonde soon-to-be-Primo responded jovially, "Vongola."

With a disbelieving look on his face, G opened his mouth to retort but found himself closing it again. This time, fortunately, the antisocially quiet Alaude managed to do the honors of asking for him.


Granted, it was more of an accusatory one word statement than an actual question…

"What's wrong with it?" Giotto asked, tilting his head to the side looking rather confused.

"Well," G started, clearing his throat, "how should I put it? Clams are not exactly…."

"Intimidating" finished the mist illusionist, Daemon Spade.

Now, how in the world, did a topic such as clams pop up during a rare peaceful dinner such as this? A dinner where all of the vigilante members were surprisingly present at the same time and not hurling water balloons of chaos at each other. A dinner where, despite the glares and narrowed eyes, each vigilante member could enjoy a meal in the presence of each other. And lastly, they all had to admit, the day had been going rather smoothly because of the lack of missions, assassination attempts and lengthy verbal abuses. Of course, dinner should be no less peaceful, right?


Primarily because their beloved leader decided that it had to be the day where they ought to name the organization they had already founded. He saw it to be a good source of family bonding time.

"Well, Vongola is kind of a fun name. It could work, you know," Asari added, chuckling behind the sleeve of his robe.

"Che, only you would think that, Asari" G grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"What? Don't you think so too? Vongola would definitely put a new flavor in the mafia," Asari continued with the everlasting smile plastered on his face.

"Amen to that!" shouted Knuckle in delight before going back to a more serious tone. "Still," he continued, turning to face their leader, "Giotto, what's with the sudden naming? You weren't too keen on it a few days ago."

A silence fell upon the occupants of the room as they all turned to face Giotto. Lampo, who had been unabashedly twirling his fork around lazily paused for a moment before speaking up.

"Finally considered it, huh?" Lampo asked softly.

Giving a hollow laugh, Giotto responded, "—that we're too deep into the mafia to be purely a protective vigilante group? Maybe…"

Another silence descended upon the room as Giotto let out a great sigh before brightening up to continue.

"At least it shouldn't keep our family from having too much fun like normal families," Giotto commented out loud, smiling.

Several snorts were heard throughout the room. Daemon chuckled eerily. Asari coughed as he nearly choked on his glass of water. Knuckle only thwacked his forehead with his palm. Lampo dropped his fork mid-twirl to stare open-mouthed and wide eyed at his boss and Alaude's eyebrow could not have been raised any higher.

In order to settle his earlier score that he tacitly lost to Alaude, G found himself asking, "And what makes you think that this family is anywhere near normal?"

"Dysfunctional, more like," Daemon piped up.

"Who asked for your opinion freak?" G retorted angrily, if there was one thing worse than somehow getting arrested by Alaude for ticking him off (G shuddered at the memory, it was only the butt of a cigarette for crying out loud!) it was him agreeing wholeheartedly with their resident mist illusionist.

As a rule in their household, it was ALWAYS a bad sign if you started agreeing with the guy.

"Now, now," Asari stood trying to get between the two bickering men, "weren't we trying to decide the name for our family?"

"So Vongola it is?" Giotto asked with a suspiciously innocent look on his face. Heck, you could almost see the puppy eyes forming.

"Are you sure that there's a logical explanation for this?" Lampo drawled, now amusing himself by swirling his wine around in the glass.

"What do you mean, Lampo?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

The light bulb moment that all the Guardians shared at that point was so simultaneous, uniform and bright that Giotto could have sworn he would have been blinded were it not for his trusty cape.

"How could I have forgotten?" Knuckle said clasping a hand to his mouth in horror.

"That the boss—" G started.

"—has a serious thing—" Alaude continued.

"—for clams," Asari finished with a knowing look.

"Oh, is that the real reason why you had our cooks devise any and every possible meal with clams in them?" Daemon Spade asked with a genuine look of surprise.

Internally, everyone promptly smacked themselves on the forehead for Daemon's blunt question. Sure, he wasn't around the mansion a lot because of his power hungry prowls but wasn't their boss' actions (such as making a point to have at least one clam-related dish on the dinner table) a clear indication that clams were food for the kings in his eyes?

"There was the clam pizza, clam stew, clam pasta, fried clam, clam sautéed with green beans…." Daemon listed them off on his fingers.

"How could you not have known?" G exploded with annoyance, dinner, once again forgotten.

"Well it's not like I'm around too much."

"And whose fault is that?"


A pause.

"Wait, what did you say?"

A clattering sounded as utensils were thrown down and chairs shoved back to make room for standing.

"Well it's true, Alaude, if you'd just stop handcuffing everyone who breathes the wrong way, maybe I'd stick around."

"Now, now guys, it's a bad idea to start a fight at the dinner table"


Then again, everyone else probably forgot about their half-eaten dinners as well because nobody made a move to reclaim it when several maids came in to clear away the mess, courtesy of Giotto of course. He sighed. 'Oh, this is going to be a long night'

Clearing his throat and conveniently calling on the attention of the rest of his Guardians, Giotto spoke up again, "Honestly, it doesn't matter what foods I have a penchant for! What matters is that we need a name for the famiglia."

Seeing the exasperated look on their boss' face stilled them all, mostly because exasperation was one step before utter annoyance. And an annoyed Giotto was certainly a cause for concern, especially when it involved a pair of flaming gloves.

"How about squalo?" Lampo offered.

"Too harsh for my tastes" Giotto frowned.

"Speaking of which, why exactly did you choose Vongola?" Asari asked.

"And it better not have anything to do with your fixation to clams," G grumbled while pulling out a cloth to start polishing his gun.

"No, G, it's not always about my fixation to anything," Giotto glowered. "It's actually more of a symbolism thing."

Blank stares and single-raised eyebrows came from 6 pairs of eyes.

Giotto sighed. His Guardians really weren't really the brightest in the tool shed were they? 'Guess I'll have to explain it to them….'

"Clams have strong hard shells and remain immobile for their entire lives to one spot. Yet, within those shells is the soft core." Giotto breathed in slowly, hoping that he wouldn't sound too hopelessly romantic. He knew he'd never live it down, not if Lampo and G and any say in the matter.

"We started this vigilante group to be the hard shell to protect those that we care about and that will never change," he finished softly, a smile gracing his lips.

Another silence, much different from the first covered the dining room. Worried, Giotto looked up only to find all of his Guardians looking at him with….was that… approval?

'Perfect!' thought Giotto, 'now only if they wouldn't say a word abo—'

"Are you a hopeless romantic Giotto-san?" Asari asked curiously.

Giotto looked in horror as the man who he had once thought was a true friend turned on him.

"Fufufu, who would've known," Daemon commented grinning.

Alaude just smirked.

"Come on, let it all out, Giotto!" Knuckle did not seem to be helping the situation either.

"Aww, look at him go red, G!" Lampo exclaimed, "his color could just about match your tattoo!"

G only chuckled in response, the look on their boss' face that evening would definitely be one to remember. Then again, so will the 'hopelessly romantic' speech be.

"Vongola it shall be then."

[9 more generations down the line….]

Sawada Tsunayoshi never exactly resigned himself to ever being the head of a large scale mafia family, but he couldn't help being just a little curious.

"Gokudera-san, what exactly does Vongola mean?"

Gokudera, being caught completely off guard by the question suffered through the indignation of choking on his melon bread in front of his beloved boss.

"Yeah, I was starting to wonder that too," Yamamoto added after seeing Gokudera calm down a bit, "the kid never told us anything behind the name. Italian, right?"

"Of course you idiot! What else would it be?" fumed Gokudera, before his countenance changed completely as he turned back to Tsuna. He looked like a cute puppy wagging its tail at the moment.

"Vongola is actually Italian for clams."

Silence reigned as a leaf blew by. Hibari, who was eavesdropping as he walked by, tripped (granted he caught himself in time to make it look intentional).

"What…" Yamamoto started.

"I know," Gokudera replied.

"Well, at least now that explains the strange choice in food," Tsuna commented, shuddering at the thought of trying Bianchi's version of Vongola-style pizza.

Beady onyx eyes watched all four young Mafioso. Reborn could only shake his head as he sipped his small cup of espresso.

"They'll need a lot more training if that's their only response."

{Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…}

KitsuneFreak: So how was it? I expected it only to have humor in it but I realized that I ended up putting elements of angst in a tiny part as well as a general sense of family and friendship. Mou, why does FF only have 2 slots for genre. Such a pain.

I'm considering on doing a PART 2 for this, except it'll revolve around the 1st Gen trying to come up with the Vongola crest, although, I have to admit, I need a few ideas here and there, I'm running dry. I always did wonder why there was a clam with wings on it…

I hope you enjoyed it!

R&R {although I still don't understand the purpose of the first R if you've already read the story at this point}