Title: While my reflection gently weeps.
Fandom: Harry Potter, (HBP book cannon)
Word count: 845
Spoilers: Spoilers for HBP and DH?
Summary: While Remus has left her, Tonks is forced to life through her pregnancy alone, using her fantasy to keep Remus with her at all time.
Disclaimer: Story is mine. Harry Potter and its characters belongs to JKR. Movie materials to WB. No profit made. Just for fun.
Left was right and right was left, as she stared at her own image. Behind her was her room, but like her image, it was all the other way around. But her stomach-in-the-mirror was in the centre and from every angle, it was equally round and swollen. Her bellybutton-in-the-mirror was popping out in the middle, which looked always amusingly silly.
Her shirt was pushed up to her middle and her bare hands skated over her warm skin. A mixed feeling of happiness and sadness swelled up inside her chest as she placed her palm on the side of her belly. If he was only here – if he could only enjoy the sight of her pregnant body; if he could only accept her pregnancy and be there for her and their unborn child. But his stubborn head couldn't see the good side of her pregnancy and therefore, he had left her.
She couldn't believe how much pleading this man needed to hear before he realized they could be happy. She had felt relieved when he had finally given in on loving her, but now it all seemed for nothing. He was gone again, and she feared he wouldn't return – even though she was carrying his child. He'd probably gotten cold feet when he realized he had to take care of a child, with his wages and even though she had assured him they would be fine, he had fled. Like a coward. Like a heartbreaker.
How could he even think he would put shame to her name by marrying her and making her pregnant? Hadn't she told him over a dozen times she didn't care, as long as they could love each other? Her parents weren't that fond of him, but since when did parents have to decide over who their children married? She appreciated her parents' opinion, but not when it involved her choice of men.
She sighed deeply, her warm, damp breath hitting the glass and clouding it. She closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them, she wouldn't be alone anymore. She often tried to imagine she wasn't alone, but she would only end up broken and lonelier, sobbing on her mother's lap for comfort.
But as she opened her eyes, she saw a tall, lean figure moving behind her. She smiled weakly as the Remus-in-the-mirror closed the door behind him and froze to look her into the eyes through the reflection of the mirror. She had fantasized so often about this, that it almost seemed normal for her. Her daydreaming and fantasy had made her forgot what was reality and what wasn't. She had hoped he'd come in one day and they'd forget about it all and be happy again.
'Dora – ' Remus breathed and she smiled a bit wider than before. She shook her head. He didn't have to speak. Her fantasies were always the same, and since they were her fantasies, she was the one in charge.
She watched how Remus-in-the-mirror approached her. She reached behind her with her right (or was it left?) hand and he took it, holding it firmly as he got closer. She could now feel his breath in her neck as well. She was surprised at how real her fantasy seemed to be, as his breathing actually felt warm and damp against her skin. His breath also hit the mirror, clouding it again. She closed her eyes and waited for it to disappear. But she felt how Remus-in-the-mirror touched her waist, and his dry lips kissed her neck.
She smiled at how precise and skilled her fantasy had become. His hand still felt as rough as in reality and his lips just as soft. She wondered if she was hallucinating, but figured she didn't mind if she was. This was the only way she could be with Remus – for always.
But as she opened her eyes, her smile disappeared as she noticed how Remus-in-the-mirror looked at her reflection, his eyebrows slightly frowned.
'What are you doing?' he asked softly.
'Fantasising,' Tonks replied, blinking lazily as she smiled again.
'Dora – it's me.'
'I know it's you,' she replied and leaned her head back against his shoulder. She knew her fantasies were never real but she never hesitated to play along.
'Dora!' Remus-in-the-mirror said; his voice louder as he spun her around, holding her by her shoulders. 'I – I've been a fool.'
She lazily opened her eyes, looking at Remus-in-the-mirror with a weak smile on her face. But she wasn't looking at a mirror anymore. There was an actual Remus in front of her right now.
'Remus!' she breathed and flung her arms around his neck, not caring if she would suffocate him to death. 'Is it really you?'
'Y-yes,' Remus said with stocking breath, his face buried in her mousey-brown hair. 'I – I'm so sorry.'
And she cried, almost unable to believe she was holding her actual Remus, and not a figment of her imagination. He was real and she would not let him go that easily.
She wouldn't need her mirror anymore.