The It

There was something different. Something... Gabriel wasn't sure what it was, but it was. Different. He just couldn't...

He winced when Sam drove into him hard, and roared to the amassed army. His hands were clenched tight into Gabriel's hips, sharp nails leaving bloody prints on his skin.

It hurt, like always, so that couldn't be it. The army was staring in awe and fear at the power Sam was showing off, like always, so that couldn't be it either.

Maybe it was because of his wings. His wings, fully restored wings. Despite the pain and humiliation, Gabriel had to hide his giddy grin.

Being able to fly again was not getting old. Probably won't anytime soon.

Wait. There was that different thing, in his wings. They thrummed, and pulsed, he could feel it. But why? They usually did that when they were fucking, but never to this extent.

Suddenly, Sam lurched forward, throwing them both off the throne they had been sitting on. Gabriel landed hard on his front, yelping more in surprise then in pain, then he was being nailed to the floor in long painful thrusts.

And Sam's hands were on his wings. Yanking at his feathers, and twisting the joins painfully, but on his wings. The pulsing feeling intensified then, and Gabriel remembered. Remembered what this could be.

Oh, Dad, no. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, "NO!" Gabriel cried, twisting to get lose. "Stop it, STOP!"

The army laughed at his struggle, but Sam wasn't letting go. On the contrary, his eyes flashed black with Power, and he tightened his hold on his wings, spreading them forcefully wide, the thrumming in them making his feather-tips tingle.

Dear sweet everything that's holy, NO.

"NO! NO, Sam, let go of me, let me go, SAM, STOP! STOP, PLEASE, NO!" Gabriel was desperate, because no, it couldn't be, Sam had to let him go, had to stop touching his wings, get off him, GET OFF!

Sam did then, though not in the way Gabriel wanted him to. He howled when his orgasm hit him, his voice booming through all of Hell, the mere sound humming with the power of the King of Hell.

And Gabriel lay beneath him, tears in his eyes, terrified of what Sam had just done. No, it couldn't be. It couldn't.

As soon as Sam released him, Gabriel was up and out of the Throne Chamber, flying out of there and back to their suite.

He barged into the suite, slamming the door behind himself, and leaning against it. He panted heavily, eyes wide, and sight blurring with tears. No, it couldn't be, it couldn't, he wasn't feeling it as it built inside him, he wasn't feeling as it moved towards his wings, he wasn't-

"Gabriel?"

His head jerked towards the sound, and just stared.

Cas and Dean. Standing apprehensively, watching him with little worried expressions.

"Gabriel, you okay?"

He couldn't... he wasn't... but he was. Damn Dad to the very lowest pits of Hell, he was.

"Go." he managed finally, pretty sure his expression radiated the insanity he felt. "Go to your room!"

"But-"

"NOW!" His voice boomed, and the kids flinched. Probably the first time Gabriel yelled at them. "GO!"

They blinked, then run to their room, closing the door behind them.

"And stay there till I get you!" Gabriel yelled, already moving to the bedroom, slamming this door behind himself too. He threw himself onto the bed, curling up into a tight ball, and just cried.

It would take a while, an hour maybe, so maybe he'd manage to find a way to kill himself before. It couldn't be stopped, so it was the only way.

But who'll take care of Cas and Dean? Gabriel did so well mostly because he thrived on Chaos. Sam floundered in it, panicked over each scrape and owie, could barely remember what a Pookie was.

It flared inside him, and he gasped in pain. No, too soon, it was supposed to be longer, it was supposed to be longer!

The door opened suddenly, and Sam stormed in, face thunderous. "What the fuck, Gabriel?" he demanded, striding over to the Archangel and yanking him up onto his knees by the arm. "What was that in the throne room? And why are the kids in their room, crying their eyes out?" He paused, and when Gabriel failed to answer, he shook his angrily. "Answer me, NOW!"

Gabriel didn't answer with words. The thrumming and pulsing intensified, flaring against his very Grace, and he screamed. He wailed his pain to the room, the suite, the Hall, all of Hell. Glass shattered, and everything shook. And all the time Gabriel screamed, whole being enveloped in agony.

Sam held him through it, making shushing noises into his ear that weren't helping that much.

Sam paced, biting his knuckles furiously as he thought. Gabriel lay on the bed, curled weakly in the middle, arms wrapped around It. It was here. No sense offing himself now.

Eventually, Sam stopped, and turned to the Archangel. "How the fuck did this happen?"

Gabriel sniffled tiredly. "I asked you to stop touching my wings."

"Yeah, but I thought you meant 'stop cause it hurts'!" Sam huffed in frustration.

"It always hurts." Gabriel muttered, nuzzling Its smooth surface. "What's the point in asking you to stop?"

He didn't see Sam's scowl. "You're saying this is my fault? For touching your wings?"

"A little, yeah." Gabriel said, looking up at him. Then he frowned in worry. He did not like Sam's expression. Not one bit.

Sam marched to the bed, and grabbed hold of It roughly. "Let go!" he ordered harshly, and yanked It out of Gabriel arms, heading to the door.

"Where are you going?" Gabriel asked, jumping to his feet, and trying not to sway too much. "Sam!" Sam wasn't listening, he was already reaching the door, he was gonna yank it open, and take It away, oh fuck!, so Gabriel did the only thing he could think of.

He grabbed the bedside table, and smashed it over Sam's head. He grabbed It as soon as Sam let it go, more in surprise then in pain, and rushed back to the bed, huddling against the headboard, It nestled safely in his arms again.

"What the fuck, Gabriel?" Sam demanded, Rage billowing in his eyes.

"It's mine!" Gabriel yelled, curling around it protectively. "You can't take It, It's mine!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Sam growled dangerously. "You don't tell me what to."

"Then take my wings! Clip them again, rip them off, I don't care!" The scary thing was, he wasn't kidding. "Take them, so it doesn't happen again, but don't take It! It's mine, you fucker, and I'm not giving It to you! I'd rather turn demon than give It to you!" The last part was said through his newly returned tears, but Gabriel didn't care, just curled tightly around It, protecting It, holding It, he didn't care.

It was His.

Sam stared at him, both in shock and in anger, then turned on his heel and left. Gabriel heard him destroy something before the main doors to the suite slammed shut, the wood splintering from the force of it.

And Gabriel was alone. Alone with It, safe in his arms. Safe, but for how long?

He stared at it, felt it pulse with Life Itself, and cried.

Just. Cried.

Five minutes later, and Gabriel was still crying. He couldn't barely perceive anything other than his own grief, and the lingering pain in his body. So it wasn't surprising he didn't register a door opening, almost hesitantly. Nor did he notice two pairs of little feet walking towards the bed.

He couldn't ignore their voices though.

"Gabriel?"

"D'yah need a hug real bad again?"

Two little voices, asked in quiet, hesitant tones laced with worry. Gabriel should answer them, calm them down and reassure them everything was okay, but he could only sob.

The boys looked at each other, then moved to the bed. They climbed up on it, and moved to either side of Gabriel, leaning close against him. "Don't cry, Gabriel." they pleaded softly, and stayed where they were till Gabriel managed to stop crying. Or at least till his tears slowed, and he could breathe without sobbing again.

He sniffled, and turned around, sitting on his pillow with It still cradled to his chest. No point in hiding it from them.

Dean cocked his head to the side in surprise and curiosity. "Tha's a big egg."

Castiel, on the other hand, was staring at It with wonder in his eyes, the old glint of knowledge flashing in his eyes. "It's an Angel Egg." he whispered, smiling widely. "Gabriel, it's an Angel Egg!"

Gabriel smiled through his tears. "I know." he said quietly.

Dan blinked. "Wha's it do?"

Castiel grinned at him, bouncing with joy. "There's a baby angel inside!"

Dean blinked again. "Wha's a baby?"

Gabriel huffed out a laugh. Oh yeah, there were no babies in Hell, so he should've guessed Dean wouldn't know what it was. "A baby is a..." he paused, looking back to the shiny shell. "A whole new person. A very tiny, little new person."

Dean processed that was a moment, then smiled. "We can play with it?"

Gabriel smiled weakly at him. "When it hatches, sure."

"Hatches?"

Gabriel nodded, relaxing slightly at the familiar questions. At least something was still right in his life. "Inside this Egg, there's a little baby. He's growing right now, and when he's big enough, he's gonna break the shell, and come out. Then you'll have a new friend to play with."

"Wow." Dean breathed, eyes wide, and little lips spread in a giant grin.

Now to really make the sale. "You two are gonna be big brothers."

Dean practically glowed at the idea. Big brother to the core.

Castiel, on the other hand, was staring at his brother worriedly. "Gabriel? Why aren't you happy?"

Right, he hadn't exactly managed to stop crying. "I'm happy, Cas. Really."

Dean pinched his brows, lips in a pout. "You're crying. Tha' means you sad."

Gabriel gave a bitter smile. "I'm not sad." He took a deep breath, and tried to keep the truth inside. But it burst through his lips, in a whisper. "I'm scared."

"'Cause Sammy got mad?" A tiny question, and Gabriel could only nod.

There was silence for a moment, the kids communicating silently between themselves.

"He can stay in our room. So you and Sammy won't have to worry." the offer came with the usual enthusiasm of children happy to be of help.

Gabriel's face crumpled, the fear of what Sam will do making his hands tremble. He reached out with one hand, beckoning the boys to him, and they came eagerly. They snuggled to his front, their little arms wrapping around both Gabriel and the Egg, and all four of them curled around together, just... there.

"Don't cry, Gabriel." came Dean's quiet plea, and Gabriel fought with himself not to sob and wail his pain. It was his pain. He had already burdened his boys too much.

It was silent again for a few moments, then Castiel started instructing Dean on how to behave around the Egg, the glint of old knowledge shining in his eyes.

"Be careful, Dean. You can't break it."

"I won't."

"Hug it more, it needs to be warm."

"Warm?"

"Yes, or it won't grow."

Dean thought about it for a moment, then jumped off the bed, rushing out. He came back moments later, carrying one of his sweaters with him. He climbed on the bed, and pulled on the Egg till Gabriel and Castiel let It go. Next, he very carefully slipped the sweater (covered in little black and blue cars, Dean's favorite) over the shell, wrapping the sleeves around it, and tying them into a little bow. He then scooted back, and placed the wrapped up Egg back into Gabriel's arms.

"There. Now he won't be cold." he declared, happy with himself like only a child could be.

Gabriel laughed softly, and pulled Dean back to his side, squeezing his briefly. "Thanks, buddy."

Gabriel leaned back, so that he was leaning against the headboard, then sighed deeply.

"Hey, why don't we brainstorm, and think of a name for him?" he offered after a moment, smiling at his boys.

"How about Sammy?"

Gabriel shook his head, slowly, pretending to think it over briefly. "Nah, let's give him his own name."

"David?"

"That's a good name, but is it really him?"

"But he's an Egg."

"Well, does the Egg look like a David?"

A brief thoughtful pause. "No, not really."

"Pongo?"

Gabriel laughed. "No."

"Perdie?"

"That's a girl's name."

"And you're not watching that movie for a while."

"Barney?"

"Nope."

"I know!" Dean cried, grinning at him. "He can be Basil!"

"Like the Mouse Detective?"

"Yeah! He looks like a Basil." Castiel agreed, petting the shell.

"Basil." Gabriel rolled the name over in his head. "Yeah, I guess it's okay. Basil it is." He looked down at the Egg, and decided to add an Angel name into the mix too, for equality. "Basil Sabriel Winchester."

Two grins were his answer.

They stayed sitting in the bedroom for an hour, talking back and forth between each other and to the Egg. A little corner of happiness over the new arrival, just between them three.

Then Sam came home.

He stood in the doorway to the bedroom, just staring at them with a mix of regret and resignation. The boys skedaddled to their room without prompting, closing the door behind themselves.

Gabriel stared at Sam, and really hoped the boys really went to their room, and weren't eavesdropping with their ears pressed to the door.

Sam stood were he was for a moment longer, then averted his gaze. He leaned down, and started picking up the smashed pieces of the bedside table off the floor, gathering them into his arms. When he had a sizable pile, he walked up to the bed, and sat down heavily on it, dropping the wood to the ground.

They sat silently for a moment, then Sam sighed heavily, and rubbed a hand through his hair roughly. He stared at the floor for a moment, then turned around, careful to keep a set distance between himself and Gabriel.

The Archangel stared at him with wide, apprehensive eyes, face pale and tight in fear.

Sam closed his eyes briefly, as if in pain. "Please don't look at me like that."

"You can't take It." Gabriel whispered, his arms tense around the Egg. "Please, don't take It."

Sam stared at him, then sighed again. "I'm sorry about... what happened before." He paused, biting his lip. "I hadn't reacted too well, did I?"

"You wanted to smash It, didn't you?" asked in a voice tight with tension.

Sam leaned his head back, looking at the ceiling, expression as if he was in physical pain. "Yeah. I just... I just got so angry. Not that that's any excuse." He gave a small, tentative smile. "It's good you smashed me over the head, knocked some sense into me."

Gabriel didn't relax nor smile back.

Sam sighed. "Look, what I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry. I reacted badly, and I'm sorry I made you cry." He paused to lick his lips. "I'm sorry I hurt you. Again. Or more like still hurting you."

Gabriel took a deep breath, and held it. "I can keep It?"

Sam looked at him, his eyes shining with regret. "I was thinking it could be us keeping it, but yeah. It stays."

Gabriel let the breath out, body nearly slumping with his relief. "Thank you, Sam. Dear Dad, thank you." he looked up at Sam, smiling with tearful gratefulness. "You don't have to worry about anything. I'll keep It out of sight, even when It hatches, and you'll just have to play with It. Wait, no, you won't have to if you don't want to, you won't even have to see It, it'll be just like before, and- and- and you can clip my wings so this won't again, and I'll keep It out of sight and-"

"Gabriel."

The Archangel swallowed down the further barrage of babble, and looked apprehensively at the other.

Sam smiled sadly at him. "I'm not gonna clip your wings. I know... I know how much it hurt you... when I did that. I'll just have to... control myself when we do it. And that's another thing." he slid further up onto the bed, trying not to notice when Gabriel flinched. "I'm sorry it happened the way it did. I'm sorry I... didn't listen when you begged me to stop. Jesus, you begged me, and I just... I didn't care."

Gabriel looked down at the Egg, petting It gently. "I know how you get when you show off. I don't hold that against you."

"You should." Sam sighed again. "When I accepted this position, I was only thinking about your safety. Yours, and Cas' and Dean's. I honestly didn't think I could get so... ruthless with you. Fuck, I hurt you all the time. I think the only good thing I did for you was giving you back your wings, but then I went and fucked it up with... the egg thing. And I'm sorry for that."

"You had good intentions." Gabriel said weakly.

"Doesn't matter." Sam smiled sadly at him, pursing his lips. "You're still afraid of me."

"...I'll get over it."

"I never wanted you to get over anything with me. First thing I did was clip your wings. Then I carved those sigils into your neck. You know they still bleed sometimes, when you sleep? Not to mention the regular rapes in front of a bunch of brainless demons."

Gabriel just blinked, eyes wet again.

"All I do is hurt you. You're scared of me, and you should hate me, but... you just don't. It's like you can't hate me, no matter what I do to you."

"I loved you once." Gabriel said quietly, as if it explained everything.

Sam nodded sadly. "Think you can love me again?" He hesitated, then gently laid his hand on Gabriel's arm, rubbing his thumb against the skin gently.

The Archangel stared at the hand, then swallowed thickly. "I can try."

Sam closed his eyes, and hung his head. "No. No, don't try. Just... feel whatever you want to feel." He paused briefly. "I'll... I'll try to treat you better, okay?"

Gabriel nodded slightly, because what else could he do? It's not like he didn't believe Sam, it's just... he didn't believe him enough to risk it. He knew he'd end up hurt sooner or later. But it was good he could keep his Egg. He was happy about that.

"Okay." he said, offering a tight smile at Sam, then shifted the Egg slightly. "The kids decided to name him Basil. 'Sil for short."

Sam smiled gratefully. "Basil, huh? Good name." He touched the shell gently, and Gabriel fought the impulse to yank the Egg back to his chest, back to safety. "It's warm." Sam chuckled to himself. "Dashing sweater."

"Dean's idea." Gabriel smiled down at the Egg. "We have to keep It warm."

"We will." Sam said firmly, reassuringly. "We can wrap it up in my side of the covers, cause I'm gonna be sleeping on the couch for the next millennium or so."

"You don't have to." Gabriel said slowly, hesitantly.

Sam looked at him, trying to express his regret through his eyes. "I deserve it." He leaned forward, lips nearing Gabriel's, but the Archangel jerked back, eyes wide.

They sat still, just staring at each other, then Gabriel shook himself out of his stupor. "Sorry. You can, if you want."

"No." Sam sighed heavily, regretfully. "I won't touch you if you don't want to." He looked back at Gabriel. "This is my fault. I'll wait till I manage to fix it. Just... could you just... let me fix this? And don't let me walk all over again."

Gabriel looked at him, then nodded. He took a hold of Sam's hand, and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you."

Sam nodded, then wiped his eyes. "Okay. Let's go tell the guys. You three can watch a movie while I clean up in here." he looked around at the pieces of the bedside table that still littered the floor. "It'll take me a while."

Gabriel nodded, smiling tinily at Sam. He still waited for Sam to get off the bed and move to the side before he got up too. Getting better would take a while, it seemed.

The End

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A/N: This 'Verse is now closed. Thank you all who commented, you made me smile. =]