Summary: There was never a dull moment in the Black household. Cute one shot about Edward, Jacob and their children. Please read and review. Edward/Jacob. Slash. Hints to male pregnancy.

A/N: To everyone how hates male pregnancy DO NOT READ THIS FIC! IF you know that you will not like something then don't READ it! It states what the story is about in the summary so don't waste my time or yours. Abuse will be reported and post will be deleted! You've been warned.

Welcome To Black House

"I can't believe you Dad! You never let me wear what I want to wear or do anything that I want to do! How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not a little girl any more? I hate you!"

"Well tough shit young lady! You will not leave my house looking like some God damn street walker! Now go upstairs right this minute and change your clothes. When you come down looking like a proper young lady, then and only then will you be able to leave and if you even think about sneaking out of the window, one Papa will know about it and two you will be grounded until your 50th birthday. Now move!"

Edward Cullen-Black tried to block out the chorus of cruse words that echoed in daughters head as she stomped up the stairs, leaving her father Jacob clenching his fist in anger. Their teenage daughter was driving the alpha male crazy and everyday was a new fight. Their two boys were nothing like their sister. Instead they were more clam and controlled like their Papa, something Edward was grateful for. Other wise there wouldn't be a moments peace within the walls of the Black household.

It seemed as if every single day, Edward would have to break up a an argument and try to get both sides to see the error of their ways but the father and daughter were just way too stubborn, neither one of them wanting to admit their mistakes.

"Jacob sweetheart, please calm down."

"I am calm! Can you believe how she spoke to me? Her own father, with such disrespect!"

His voice was anything but clam as he paced back and forth before slamming his fist into the kitchen counter, resulting in a huge crack right down the middle. Edward, not liking the amount of tension in the air, placed a loving hand on his husbands chest, bring the wolf's movements to a halt.

"You really need to relax Jake. All of this anger isn't helping the situation."

"Oh, so I'm supposed to let our daughter go out on a date with some boy that we don't even know, wearing a skit so short that if she sneezed the whole world is going to see her…her…you know."

Edward smiled and let out a small laugh.

"I'm glad to see that I amuse you."

The vampire shook his head and took the larger male by the hand, leading him into the living room and motioning for him to sit before placing himself on his lap.

"I know what's really bothering you Jacob so please don't lie to me. Your outburst have little to do with what Christina wears and more to do with the fact that she's growing up right before your eyes and you can't handle it. You want her to stay Daddy's little girl forever but you have to know that that's not possible." Edward spoke softly before placing kiss on his lover's lips.

Jacob held him closer, deepening their kiss for a second before pulling back. A frown graced his gorgeous face as he looked down to their intertwined fingers before gazing back into his husband's eyes.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes it is. Even without the mind reading."

"I try so hard to let her go but I can't. She's our baby girl Eddie, our youngest child. How am I supposed to just let her go into the world when I know that so many horrible things are out that? We've been around for a long time and we've seen some pretty messed up stuff. Now Christina isn't weak in any way but because of who she is and the powers that she possesses she could be a target. Or have you forgotten about the Volturi incident?"

Edward sighed. Their children were highly sort after by the group for the supernatural powers that each one of them held. They were considered twice blessed children with vampire and wolf abilities as well as telekinesis, astral projection, the power to freeze and manipulate time, mind control, teleporting and so much more. Making their children virtually indestructible. They were also born with the vampire virus and once they died their first deaths, they would become full on immortals.

At first the Volturi wanted to take the children away to Italy but when they reached for Jensen, the couples eldest son, the boy took out half of the clan, including Jane, one of the most powerful members, with just a single thought.

Jacob and Edward were both proud and extremely frightened.

Those that were left decided to let the children stay with their parents and the rest of the Cullen's with an agreement to work for them in the future.

"Yes I remember it well, but if anything that situation and how it was handled shows you just how capable they are of protecting themselves. You can't keep holding onto her using that as an excuse handsome. If you keep acting like an overbearing, tyrannical father you're going to lose her."

"I guess you're right, but it's just so hard. I miss the little girl who used to meet me at the door after work with a big smile and lots of hugs, or the little girl who would fall asleep on the couch, waiting for me to come home from a night of patrolling the boarder. She used to light up every time I walked into the room and wouldn't let go of me whenever I had to go out." He laughed at the memory. "You used to have to pry her off of me or bribe her with something. Now what do I get? Heated glares, attitude whenever I ask her a question and back talk when I tell her to do something. I mean I know that she's growing up but she is still my child and certain things, Edward, are not ok. The boys don't give us half as much trouble as she does."

"I know but I can also hear her thoughts Jacob. She thinks that you don't like her very much and that you favor the boys because they can do practically whatever they want while she always gets questioned and treated like a baby, like you don't think she's capable of making her own decisions. Which is ashamed because our baby is very much capable. She's also charming like her father, and loving like her father, and strong willed like her father and extremely intelligent just like…her…Papa. Let's face it, I'm the brains of this operation."

"Oh is that right?" Said Jacob, flipping Edward off his lap and onto his back so that he was laying flat on the couch.

He placed himself on top of the other mans slender frame, wrapping his arms about him as they kissed passionately. Edward's hands ran down the length of the Natives muscular back as their kiss deepened before Jacob moved his lips to the sensitive flesh of Edwards neck. They were so engrossed in each other that they didn't notice that they had company until they heard a familiar voice.

"Oh my God! I think that you just scared us for life. I mean what the hell happened to your bedroom? Did it explode? If not I don't see any other reason for that taking place in the freaking living room for crying out loud!"

Another voice continued.

"You are aware of the fact that you have children who still live in this house, aren't you? We would greatly appreciate it if you guys would show a little discretion. I mean we know what goes on but we would rather not witness it…at…all."

The very embarrassed parents sat up and collected themselves as they faced their two boys Jensen and Ayden.

Edward smiled nervously while Jacob glared at the duo that were mirror images himself.

"Well boys when you start paying bills in this house your opinions will hold more weight. Until then you reserve the right to shut the hell up and close your eyes. Besides, with your hearing you should have known what was going on before you entered the house. At that point you could have teleported up to your rooms and would have avoided getting scared by your parents making out."

Both boys shuttered at the words.

"It's still kind of gross Dad. No one wants to know that their parents still do it." Said Ayden as he tried to shake away the images from his brain.

It didn't matter that both his Papa and his Dad looked like they were 25 years old. It was still disturbing.

"How exactly do you think you go here? In fact I could give you the details if you'd like. We haven't had the birds and the bees talk in a while. Besides I think that you boys should know all of the facts." Replied Edward, squeezing Jacob's thigh.

"No!" Screamed both Black sons as they backed away from their laughing parents.

"Good, now that that's settled, you guys need to go upstairs and start packing. You're going to see Grandpa Billy for the weekend and then he's going to drop you off at Papa Carlisle and Mimi Esme's house for the first three days of your spring break."

Both nodded before heading up the stairs and out of sight.

"Those two are something else," laughed Edward.

He loved all of his children to pieces but they really knew how to ruin a moment.

Jacob was about to say something when they heard someone coming down the stairs.

There stood Christina walking hesitantly into the living room, stopping right in front of her father.

"Is this good enough?" She spat out.

Jacob eyes narrowed at the way his daughter spoke to him but Edward tightened his grip on the man as a silent warning to go easy.

"Christina," began the vampire "I think you should watch your tone when you speak to your father. You may be angry but you are still his child. I think the right thing for you to do is to apologize, right now."

The girl shot her Papa a pleading look laced with betrayal before turning back to her father. Her face sullen.

"I'm sorry Dad." She paused. "Is this outfit ok?"

Jacob motioned for the girl to turn around. She spun in quick, graceful turn that her vampric abilities afforded her before locking her eyes with his.

"Yes, that's acceptable. You look beautiful princess."


Jacob gave Edward a look and with a nod the pale skinned male stood, walking towards the other side of the room, giving his daughter a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

"Come here for a second honey. I want to talk to you."

The raven haired girl slowly sat down besides her father, unsure if this was going to be an actual discussion or a shouting match. It was then that he place a finger under her chin, lifting her face so that he could look into her eyes. He took her small hands into his own before speaking.

"I know that we fight a lot because of a few things. First because of your attitude young lady, which must change or life here will be very difficult for you and that's a promise. Secondly, because I realize that part of the reason that you're so angry is because you feel as if I don't like you and that I think you're not capable of taking care of yourself. Both of these things are not true at all. I don't like you honey, I love you. You are the center of my world and you have been since the day you were born. I'm just afraid that you won't need me any more." He sighed. "A father's job is to protect his children, especially his daughter, even when she feels that she doesn't need his protection. I just want to make sure that you're ok and that no one ever hurts you. Maybe I go about it the wrong way sometimes but you have to believe that it's only because I love you. I would die if something happened to my little princess so please just be patient with me and I will try to give you some breathing room. Now it won't happen over night but I promise that I will try my best. You must also promise to watch your attitude and be patient with me as well. Can you do that?"

The young girl's eyes were shinning with unleashed tears as she looked back at her father, bobbing her head up and down in answer to his question. As the tears slid down her cheeks the man held her close. His voice going soft.

"What is it honey? Why are you crying?"

After a few breaths the girl replied "I thought that you hated me. It felt like no matter what I did and no matter how hard I tried it was never good enough for you. The way I dressed, my grades, the way that I've been able to control my powers, all of it. I felt like a failure in your eyes."

Jacob's heart broke. He didn't know how his behavior was affecting his daughter.

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way princess. I've always been proud of you, even at my most angry. I love you baby girl, I always have, I always will and don't you ever doubt that." He said pulling the girl back and planting a kiss on top of her head.

Neither one of them noticed Edwards presence until he spoke.

"Hey there. Mark's in the kitchen waiting for you. Do you want me to tell him to give you a moment sweetheart?"

"Yeah, thanks Papa."

He smiled back at the pair before heading off to talk with his daughter's date.

"I should go and clean my face."

"Ok baby. I'll just go introduce myself to your date."

The teens eyes widened.

"Please don't scare him away like you did Lucas Daddy. Please."

Jacob smiled wickedly.

"Sure I won't princess. I will be on my best behavior."


"I promise now go get ready."

The girl quickly walked over to the steps before turning back to her father.

"Thanks a lot Dad. I love you."

"I love you too baby girl. Now go."

With that the girl bounced up the stairs and Jacob headed to the kitchen where a tall blond boy in a lettermen's jacket stood talking to his husband.

Edward looked over his should at him.

"Mark, this is Christina's father Jacob. Jacob this Mark, Christina's date."

Jacob eyed the boy, giving him his best overprotective father look before extending his hand.

"Nice to meet you Mark." He said squeezing boy's hand harder than necessary.

He smiled when the boy flinched and gritted his teeth. Satisfied with his show of strength he pulled out a chair and motioned for the boy to sit. He didn't care if the boy was a vampire. He could phase in an instant and rip his head off with no effort at all.

"So, Mark. Where are you taking my daughter this evening?"

"We're going to the movies and out to dinner at China Palace."

"I see. Well her curfew is at 11 o'clock and not a minute past Mark. If you bring my daughter home later than that I assure you, you will find yourself in a whole lot of trouble that you don't want. The same thing will also happen if she comes back here unhappy in any way or with marks on her neck from your advances on my innocent baby. If you even think about touching her just think of this two words to describe your future…death…again. Am I understood Mark?"

Jacob tried to hide his smile when he saw the look of fear pass over the boy's face.

"Yes Sir."

"Good. I'm glad we had this little chat that will stay between the three of us." He spoke with more than a hint of warning in his voice.

Off his words the girl walked into the kitchen looking amazing.

His little girl was pure perfection, just like her Papa. Where the boys looked exactly like him, his daughter was the spitting image of the vampire. Her honey colored eyes, her light skin, her slender frame and even her wonderful smile was all his Edward's.

He looked up to see Edward grinning at him, obviously having read his thoughts. Jacob couldn't help but smile back.

He was lucky to have him.

"I'm ready."

"You look great babe."

The second that the words came out the boy looked nervously at his date's father who didn't show any emotion either way which scared the crap out of him.

"Have a good time princess and remember curfew's…"

"At 11 o'clock not 11:01, 02, 03 and so on."

All three Blacks laughed.

"Ok, just making sure that you know." Said Jacob as the girl gave her Papa a hug before wrapping her arms around him.

The father of three didn't miss the opportunity to glare at the jock as he held his daughter tightly, making sure that the boy got the message.

With one more good-bye the two were off while the parents once again sat on the couch.

"I think you handled that very well Mr. Black."

"Thank you Mr. Cullen-Black. You know if it wasn't for you things would have gone a whole lot worse today."

The two shared a kiss before Edward spoke.

"I thought I told you that I was the brains of this operation. Didn't you believe me?"

"Operation? Well than since you're so found of operations we should play doctor." Jacob spoke in a low growl before running his tongue along Edward's neck resulting in moan from other mans lips.

"I think I like the sound of that." Said Edward as he lowered his hand, feeling his husband's length though his pants.

Before they could get any further they were interrupted once again.

"Gees you guys, didn't we go over this already? The amount of PDA is beyond offending."

"Yeah come on you two. Besides, Papa I'm hungry. What's for dinner?" Asked Jensen as he picked up the remote and turned to a football game.

Ayden sat on the couch next to Edward who fussed over the boy's hair before he slapped his hand away while Jensen, found a spot on the floor in front of his father.

Jacob growled causing the boys to jump slightly before he stood up, dragging Edward along with him. He then opened his wallet tossing the boys two twenty dollar bills.

"Order something and don't bother us for two whole hours! Do you boys understand me?"

"Yes Dad." Both boys snickered.

However Ayden couldn't help but add.

"And this time, try not to break the headboard. Uncle Emmett says that he's not making you guys another one after last time."

Needless to say that remark earned him a slap to the back of his head from his father before his parents disappeared upstairs.

Ah life in the Black household. There was never a dull moment.