Stephenie Meyer owns these characters, even though revised.
I didn't think I would ever find my heart. I didn't think I really deserved to. My rebellion; the lives I ended during my "lost years." Being alone was sure to be my punishment and being in a house with three devoted couples was my personal hell.
The day was going to become increasing difficult as another couple was to join our group for a few weeks. Peter and Charlotte were friends of Carlisle and Esme. The four of them met each other during my ten year self study, away from the man who created me.
Carlisle turned me in 1918 shortly after my seventeenth birthday and before the Spanish Influenza could claim my life. Carlisle understood my loneliness, as it was also his very reason for changing me when he did. Carlisle dealt with loneliness for hundreds of years before he went back on his swarn word to never bring anyone into the life he lived. Carlisle was my doctor in the hospital were I was supposed to die, having already lost both of my parents, he stole me away to be his life long friend. A year later he found and changed Esme and from the beginning you could see they were forever devoted to each other. Carlisle changed me to be his friend and companion; Carlisle changed Esme because even on her death bed as a human he saw how much he loved her, she was to be a companion of a different sort.
Two years after my change, I was struggling with my mandatory diet of animal blood; fighting against the nature of a vampire. Drinking human blood was an experience I had never had at that point, but it was very evident in me, as it was in any vampire. I left home knowing Carlisle would be comforted by Esme.
I wandered the continent feeding my thirst on the lowest of mankind; murders, rapists, pimps, and the like. This was my justification for ending a life, taking it from those who didn't deserve it themselves. My gift of telepathy aided me in distinguishing the good from the bad. Ten years into my journey loneliness was slowly consuming me. Even the lowest form of life thought of love ones as their life left their body and flowed down my burning throat. Obtaining the thoughts of everyone I drained lingered with me, driving my own anguish. I didn't hesitate to return home. Then I belived it was a general loneliness that haunted me, now I know it was absent of more than just the absent of my sire and his wife that pained my heart.
Carlisle and Esme welcomed me back with no questions; although I am sure my crimson eyes answered them anyway. The shame wouldn't let me look into their eyes, as their topaz showed their goodness. Surprisingly, they did not think lowly of me, instead their minds only thought of thankfulness of my return home. A part of my healing had begun. All of the pain did not leave me. While I returned to the man and woman I considered my father and mother, I still felt a different kind of loneliness that they could not fill. However, I took the throbbing pain of my empty heart over the guilt of human blood on my hands any and every day.
I didn't just return to Carlisle and Esme. In my absence Carlisle had changed Rosalie and then Alice. Having sibling did help with the pangs some, but that was only putting a band-aid on a broken leg. The company of my single siblings did not last long. Alice saw Rosalie with Emmett, a prophecy that came to pass only two years after my return to grace. A year following Emmett's entrance into the family, Alice found a human named Isabella. Alice changed Bella herself after explaining to Bella what we were; Bella accepted without many questions. Carlisle granted Alice permission to change her lover; setting their eternality together in motion.
I envied Alice and Bella's relationship over all others. Their love ran so deep that the truth of what we were didn't scare Bella away. Bella endured an excruciating burning for days to live with Alice for forever. It was a devotion I longed for.
Now I was surrounded by not just one couple but three. Love radiated from them physically and mentally. I survived only because of my ability to run fast and hard. That is exactly what I did when it all became too much for me to bear. Unlike before, I returned every single time but I felt no reason to punish myself continually. My imprisonment of a lonely heart was enough. The run made the scar across my heart burn a little less. I went on one such run the morning before our guest arrived.
I had no problem with Peter and Charlotte, but their crimson eyes reminded me of years I wished I could forget. I was no longer tempted by human blood, but being in the presence of someone with such a diet reminded me of the thoughts I heard those years long ago. Carlisle had attempted to show Peter and Charlotte the alternative diet, but they did not take to it very well. We did not hold it against them and they did not judge us of our choice.
I returned to the house after several hours of running. As I got closer to the secluded mansion I immediately recognized Peter and Charlotte's scent as I must have taken the same path in as they did. Mixed with their familiar scent, and the scent of my family members, was another vampire. The parallel scent reminded me of vanilla and citrus. The aroma was enticing and began to cause venom to pool in my mouth. We were not expecting any other guest and this was not a smell I knew. I was going to inform Carlisle immediately.
I entered the home through the glass patio door and was enticed as the vanilla-citrus aroma engulfed me in my own dwelling. When our kind was in the mist of the unknown we assumed danger, and released a warning growl. This concentrated scent did not affect me in this usual way. Had I not been in the mist of my family and guest I would have uttered the moan of pleasure being held in my throat. Carlisle brought me out of my thoughts.
"Edward. Peter and Charlotte have just arrived." Carlisle motioned to our distant family sitting besides Esme. The rest of my large family sat around the guest as well, on different couches.
I greeted the two as I walked forward. Suddenly my dead heart came alive as I looked upon the gorgeous creature standing in front of Carlisle.
"This is Peter and Charlotte's friend, and travel companion, Jasper," Carlisle introduced the god in front of me.
His hair fell in blond waves and curls down into his face looking intentionally unkept. He stood six foot two, as tall as me, and had a slight muscular build. The long sleeves of his black shirt displayed his muscular arms rather than hide them. His face was ivory with a chisel chin and jaw line. He was gorgeous, and while his citrus smell pulled me closer, it was his topaz eyes that called to me. He was a vegetarian? I didn't know how long I was staring but I hoped it wasn't as long as it seemed. Peter cleared his throat, an act very uncharacteristic for vampires, confirming my fear I hadn't spoken yet.
"Um . . . Hi, nice to meet you Jasper," I finally made myself speak.
"Nice to meet you Edward." Jasper's voice had a southern drawl that sent me pressing against my pants, threatening an uncontrollable erection. I adored the way my name rolled off his tongue. As his strong hand grasped mine I drew in the longest breath I could, drinking in his scent. My heart broke when I had to let his hand go.
"Jasper here is actually a very old friend of mine as Maria changed us both. We parted ways many, many years ago, before I found Charlotte. We found Jasper about ten years back and convinced him to join us."
"Well Jasper, welcome. Any friend of Peter is a friend of the Cullens." Carlisle placed his hand on Jasper shoulder; I grew jealous of my father. I longed to be able to touch Jasper so causally. I longed just to touch him.
"Your eyes?" I was sure I sounded utterly enticed as it was becomeing increasing harder to control the yearning surfacing in his presence. I hadn't taken my eyes off of him, but he continued to look away. I was making him nervous, but I couldn't bare to look away.
"I am a vegetarian, as I hear yall call it. I have not fed off human blood since I defected from Maria over 80 years ago. I stumbled on the diet on my own. You see, I am an empath, and it was becoming difficult to feed on humans without losing a part of my self, forever caring their fear and anguish with me after words. After weeks of ignoring my thirst, I fed on the first thing I came across, a deer. I realized I had found the answer to my most difficult problem."
An empath, great! He had to feel all the lust and sexual frustration rolling off me.
"Peter you allowed him to continue his diet?" Carlisle shifted the conversation. Carlisle joined his friend at Esme's side, leaving Jasper and I standing behind the coach. I was inching closer to him of no control of my own. His body was like a pairing magnet calling for me to join it, but i resisted. I all expected him to walk away but he never moved, continuing to look down at the top of the couch between us and the remaining occupants of the room.
"It is not my place to change someone's choice. I knew as soon as I saw his eyes you all would love him."
Love. That was the feeling that was erupting from my core. Lust. Love. Longing. It was all there. Suddenly his mental voice broke through to me.
"Is he mated? I can feel his lust. God I just want to touch him."
I wanted to answer his question without making him feel embarrassed.
"Well Jasper, we are the only unmated pair so you want be totally alone. Would you like a tour of the house?" Anything to be alone with him.
"I'd love one."
As I guided Jasper through the door leading to our "dinning room" i was bombarded by a vision from Alice. Jasper and I were in the forest hunting together. His hard chest was press into mine. The vision flashed to Jasper and I in my room. He sat on the floor with his back pressed against my black lounge couch as I sat between his legs laughing. He was leaning into my next igniting my arousal.
"Wow. Edward!" Alice shouted in my head.
I escorted Jasper through the first level of the house, only speaking to point out a room or door. He only added the occasional "okay" and "oh". I though of Alice's vision. The echo of the scene sent the lust through me again but I didn't know how else to feel about what i had seen. To have the beautiful man in my arms was all i could think about but I had never loved anyone. I wasn't really sure if i was even capeable, but i couldn't deny how he was maing me feel even as we walked up the rear stairs to begin the tour of the third level of the house. His body was so close to mine, and was pulling at my own. I didn't know how long I could ignore my pulsating need.
"Edward," I contained the moan threaten to betray me further, "Carlisle stated that you have a gift. You can read people mind?"
"Yes, that is correct."
"So you heard my thoughts earlier. I hoped I didn't embarrass myself." Jasper thought.
"Yes, I could hear you but you did not embarrass yourself. I am sure my over whelming emotions did the trick though," I said further avoiding his gaze as we made our way to the on the third floor landing.
My breath caught as he brushed my arm with his strong hand. I looked into his eyes, black with lust.
"Jasper . . ." I whispered. My appetite for him grew stronger. I brushed his jaw line with my nervous hand. "Are you doing this to me? Making me fell this way?"
"I am making you feel comfortable and confident," Jasper's eyes searched my face. "Your desire for me is all your own. The way I feel for you right now is familiar to me but only from expericing it from others, such as Peter and Charlotte. It is not a emotion I have enjoyed on my own behalf but through someone else. It feels so . . . right. Like you are what I have always been missing." His raspy, lust filled voice pulled on my core. I needed his lips on me.
"Come hunting with me, darlin'."
"I don't really need to hunt," I joked, gazing at his full lips.
"Neither do I." Jasper whispered as he slowly pressed his mouth to mine successfully stealing my breath away. Our kiss felt long overdue. I urgently pulled him closer, demanding all control. Our kiss was broken by Jasper. "I take that as a yes."
No one was surprised by our sudden departure.
As Jasper and I ran, I couldn't take my eyes off of him; afraid the dream would end. Our pace began to slow as we cleared miles from the house. Jasper did not hesitate to finish what we began.
As we searched each other's mouth, we undressed ourselves until we stood completely exposed to one another. My eyes searched over his body, covered in scares I knew could be nothing other than bite marks left by other vampires. I had heard of vampires scared in such a way but never seen it for myself. To know he had been through so much and survived turned me on more. I ran my finger over the indentions, mesmerized by the feel of his skin.
"Living with Maria as a solider in the Vampire Wars left a mark on me, literally. Edward, I don't deserve the devotion I feel coming from your now. I haven't always been good."
I could read his thoughts as he berated himself about his past. I knew exactly how he felt. Two scared immortals battling their past and need for intimate love and companionship. We could cure each other. We were what the other needed.
"I haven't been always good either. I would never use your past against you. Maybe we could work on being good together."
I pulled Jasper down on the ground to lie underneath me. I began slowly kissing each scare that riddled his body. I wanted to know every mark, every ounce of him. I slowly began stroking his rock hard cock continuing my way to the bites on his thigh. Jasper arched his back in pure desire. I began working myself back up his leg enjoying how his dick pulsated in my hand.
"Jasper, let me make you feel good? Can I have you? Taste you?"
"Yes . . . Edward . . . Take me."
Without hesitation I took his entire length in my mouth coating it in my venom; massaging his balls in my hand. I continued to consume him as his hands pulled at my hair, keeping me close. I began teasing the head of his member, stroking his shaft with my hand. I was delighted to have his body taste of the citrus that was his aroma.
"Edward . . . oh fuck . . . yes, take me Edward."
Hearing my name on his tongue was superb but hearing him call my name in his mind sent shivers up and down my spine. I sped up the attack on his dick. I wanted to taste his sweet cum run down my throat. I could feel his climax reaching.
"I'm coming Edward . . . Oh right now," Jasper screamed as he shot his entire release down my throat. I pulled every drop of it down. The liquid soothed my throat as much as blood would have.
Jasper pulled me to his mouth as he attacked my own. He began kissing on my neck at the skin below my ear. Just having his mouth on me was guaranteeing my release.
"Not just yet solider. I want you in me. I want your release in me."
"Yes, Jasper. Yes," I moaned as Jasper's hands searched my body.
As he continued to attack my neck, he slid his finger into my mouth. I sucked them as hard and seductively as I handled his cock, already missing the feel of his member in my mouth. Ready to feel his tightness around me, I slid my fingers in his mouth and slowly placed them at his opening, reading it for my entry.
"Beg for it Jasper."
"Please Edward. Make me feel good. Please let me feel you in me."
"Your wish is my command cowboy." I picked Jasper up, putting him down on all fours, slamming my hard length into him. Jasper's moan released the growl that was deep in my chest. I continued to pull and push. The arch of Jasper's back granting me even deeper entry.
I slowed my pace and enjoyed how his spot clenched around my member.
"Ooh Jasper, that feels so good." I twined my hand in his hair, pulling his head back with my push.
I leaned into his back wrapping my arm around his waist, taking his cock in my hand. I began to stroke him again, setting my pace to my own motions.
"Edward fuck me. Make me come. Come with me baby. Ooh I need you baby."
"You like that cowboy? You can have it whenever you want it."
"Edward! Oh Edward. Yes, Edward."
Jasper continued to chant my name mentally, sending my arousal over the edge.
"Here I come Jasper. Come with baby." With one last pull and push into his trembling body I crossed the threshold of pure pleasure.
"Aahh," Jasper and I screamed together. Jasper's orgasm spilling in my hand.
"That was spectacular," Jasper spoke in a breathless voice. I consumed Jasper's mouth with my own; thrusting my tongue with is as he leaned back into my chest.
I pulled myself out of him, instantly I missed our connection. I carefully turned him around to straddle my lap, and continue to taste his mouth.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on how wonderful his mouth felt as he trailed kisses down my neck and chest. Dispite our cold temperature, every place his silky lips graced my body simmered with seductive heat.
"Jasper this is all so new to me. Please help me understand what I am feeling right now," I said finally opening my eyes looking into the god's face; I wasn't sure what to expect there.
Jasper look into my eyes with sincerity, "Darlin', what do you think you are feeling." Jasper slowly ran his fingers through my tossed bronze hair.
"I feel like you are my dream come true. With you sitting right here with me," I ran my hands down his chest and across his thighs, "I feel like I am complete and nothing else I ever did matters any more." I lowered my head on his shoulder, ashamed of what I was about to reveal to the god who made me feel like I was in heaven. "Jasper, I feel like I love you."
"Edward, that is exactly what you are feeling," Jasper said. I looked up and into his liquid eyes, surprised he confirmed my feelings. "You don't have to be afraid sugar. I love you too. I'm not going anywhere until you send me away. I promise."
I couldn't break the smile that framed my face.
Jasper and I stayed there exploring each other physically, unaware of the passing time.
Soothing each other's hearts.
A/N: As of right now this is a one-shot but maybe a two shot if I can get the concept right in my head. I appreciate all those who took the time to read this. I did not send this story to my Beta so I apologize for grammar issues. I hope it didn't make the story too confusing.
Please reveiw if you have 30 seconds to spare. Thanks again!