Three Men and a Baby: The Staring Contest

It all started with a man, a man who only knew one thing...he wanted the prize. The prize was the most sought after title of all, becoming the Stare Master. Peter was that man and his flamboyant gardener and pool man, Michael and Jack, were his stepping stones to getting the prize.

The Baby was the reigning Stare Master and Peter was determined to beat him.

On the final day, Peter awoke in a haunted thicket where the Baby lived, inhabited by orphan children. Having been put through trials again and again, Peter groped a ripened avocado, but became saddened by the lack of satisfaction it provided him. He suddenly realized that his beloved Baby Basket was missing!

The Baby Basket was Peter's only weapon to win the coveted staring contest with the Baby.

It was too late for he sulked in a stew of shit, diapers and talcom powder, the Baby arrived for the final staring contest. But suddenly, Michael the Gardener and Jack the Pool Man came streaking through the sky riding atop Leonard Nimoy, who himself, was dressed in a loin cloth and top hat that left a trail of rainbows, pink dildos and used prophylactics for the orphan children of the thicket.

Leonard Nimoy began to stare, groping Peter's previously violated avocado and holding his top hat with a tight, iron grip, chanting "FUCK YOU WILLIAM SHATNER!"

In Leonard's blinding rage, the Baby exploded, leaving behind only a sesame street shit filled diaper. Leonard Nimoy was now the Stare Master, the Fucking Stare Master...

Peter, having seen his dream crushed before him, proceeded to grope his ripened avocado...