Hello people who love Invader Zim! I'm afraid I haven't seen every episode of this show, but I've been studying other people's fics on how you should write these characters.
This story is a fight for ZAGR. I think Gaz and Zim were just meant to be! If those two had partnered up in the show, I think it would've been twice as good! (Which is what this story's about.) My goal is to make this the best ZAGR fic you guys ever read! PREPARE FOR AWESOMENESS!
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.
It started at skool, like most exciting adventures do. A place where in most movies you discover you have super powers, or meet someone who does. Or a vampire. But magic was NOT what was going through our favorite invader's mind.
Zim stared blankly at the kids swinging on the monkey bars, urging them in his mind to fall off and go crying to their mother units. He enjoyed seeing human weakness. It was like a personal hobby for him.
"That's right…" he whispered to himself as he saw a fat, blonde boy reach the top of the bars. There was NO WAY that stupid human couldn't tip over. "Go higher stinky boy….just a little higher…..and then fall down until you burst the like the giant balloon that YOU ARE!"
Oops. He hadn't meant to scream that last part. Everyone now stared at the creepy kid before them. Zim looked around at his fellow classmates. "What? Can't a normal worm-baby watch another less-then-amazing worm- baby pop IN PEACE?"
Everyone shook their heads and resumed their mindless games. All but one very annoying, creepy, obsessive, compulsive, big-headed boy.
"Humans don't pop Zim," Dib, Zim's archenemy, pointed out. "We have organs, and-and lungs and…we don't pop! We're not balloons, you know!"
Zim smirked and looked back at the fat kid. "Could've fooled me!"
Dib shook his head. "If you were really human, you'd know that! Which is even more undeniable proof you are nothing but s slimy, ugly ALIEN!"
"LIES!" Zim screamed. "Never ONCE in my life have I EVER been slimy…..AND THE ALIEN PART IS A LIE TOO!"
Dib walked up to Zim and frowned, deeply. "You know, one day someone besides myself is going to see the monster you really are!"
Zim gave Dib a smug grin. "I wouldn't be so sure Dib-stink. I've been here for four years now, and NO ONE has suspected a thing. And why do you think that is?"
Dib held up a hand to stop him. "O.K, I admit my species has been a little…scatter brained about this, BUT ONE DAY," here he leaned in close to Zim, "they will have you strapped down to a dissecting table, ready to perform cruel and unusual experiments on you!"
Zim glared hard at the boy he hated so much, until an obnoxious kid shout, "Hey look! Zima and Dib are gonna kiss!"
"What?" they both shouted in unison, quickly pulling away. They both scowled as the kids began pointing and laughing at the pair.
"That's disgusting!' Dib shouted. "For all of your information, I can do way better than him!"
"Same here!" Zim shouted. "I wouldn't do that even if I knew what a kiss was!"
"Seeeeeeeee!" Dib screeched as he pointed a shaking finger at the green boy. "He just admitted he doesn't know what a kiss is!" He spread his arms out to his fellow classmates. "What do you think that means?"
Everyone was silent. "Uh…" one kid started to say.
"NO! Not that! It means he's an alien! What human doesn't know what a kiss is?" He jumped one a boy's chest and began pulling his shirt. "I'll TELL you who! Him!" He pointed another shaking finger at the green boy. "Which makes him an alien!"
"Just because he's never kissed anyone, doesn't make him an alien, Dib!" someone shouted.
"You're such a jerk!" another human screamed.
'And a nerd!"
"And you're crazy!"
"And you have a big head!" Zim added that last part. " Nerdy, crazy, big headed jerk!" he shouted, causing all the kids to cheer at his clever combining of words.
"Oh yeah, I-" Dib didn't finish his sentence as he felt warm breath stream down on him. He looked up to see the face of the man who's shirt he was still holding.
It was Gor. The biggest 8th grader in the skool. He was also the dumbest. Reaaaaaaaalllyy bad combo. You know where that always leads. That's right. School bully.
"Fat head and green kid annoy Gor!" he thundered in his monstrous voice. "Gor punish!" He grabbed Dib by his hair.
"Hey uh, Gor?" Dib pleaded. "Can't we discuss this like civilized people?"
Gor held his head in pain. "NO USE WORDS GOR NO UNDERSTAND!" Still holding Dib by his hair, he marched over to Zim and grabbed him by his leg. "Gor punish annoying twerps!"
"ZIM IS NOT A TWERP!" Zim shouted, as he and Dib were carried off. "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! RELEASE ZIM! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED GREATLY FOR- okay all my blood is rushing into my brain now."
"This is all your fault!" Dib snarled as he tried to move his arm.
"We are now both trapped in one of your disgusting human disposals, I fail to see how it is my fault!"
"….It's called a trash can, Zim."
Dib struggled to move, but knowing they were shoved head first into a trash can, that wasn't going to happen any time soon.
"Err, Zim get your hand out of my ear!" Dib wailed.
"I will as soon as you get your nose out of my wig!" he snarled.
Dib sighed. "Well, can you do us both a favor and get your eye out of my arm pit?"
"….That's not my eye."
"Oh great!" Dib cried.
"If you hadn't teased me about my lack of knowledge on human organs, we would not be in this mess!" Zim growled.
"Please, if you hadn't come to my planet in the fist place, my life would be so much easier!" Dib snapped as he tried to break his arm free.
"Oh, like I'm the only reason you get thrown into human disposals?"
"It's a trash can!"
"ENOUGH OF YOUR LIES!"
Not being able to stand one another for another second, the two boys frantically tried to make their way out of the human disposal. So when it tipped over and they saw sunlight beneath them, it was like Heaven reaching out from underneath them.
They quickly squirmed out the human disposal, gasping for air. "SWEET, BEAUTIFUL FREEDOM!" Dib cried out into the sky. He turned his head to face his rescuer. "Thanks Gaz. You came just in time."
Zim turned his head to see his arch-enemy's little sister. Well, she was only a few months younger, which made both the Membrane's fourteen, although Dib would be turning fifteen soon. She had her usual scowl across her face.
"I only tipped the can because I was looking for garbage. Looks like I found it," she muttered.
Dib and Zim stood up in unison. "It's a good thing you came Gaz. I was about to kick Zim's intergalactic butt!"
"In the trash can?" Gaz asked, not caring for the answer.
"Foolish human! Zim would have annihilated you had we been in battle! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE GREAT ZIM! YOUR HEAD WOULD POP FROM MY SHEER AWESOMENESS!"
"Humans don't pop!" Dib repeated, pulling something out of his coat pocket. It was a water gun. "I thought I was going to need this today," he said, in an ominous voice. But then he pulled out a smelly peanut butter and jelly sandwich from his pocket. "Although I also thought I was going to need this sandwich, and all that did was make a mess."
"Give me the sandwich," Gaz said as she took it from her brother. It was smelly, molding, and crushed. "I'll eat it for lunch tomorrow, so I don't need to eat the cafeteria food."
Zim stared nervously at the water gun. "I…I'll have you know, I got over my allergies to Earth water. I AM CURED!"
Dib wasn't buying it. "So…nothing will happen if I do this?" He took aim and sprayed the water all over his nemesis.
"AAAAAGGGHHH!" Zim screamed in pain, proving he was not over his allergy. "IM BUUUUURRRNING! I'M BUUUURNING! WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A WORLD!"
"A-HA! You're still the pathetic Zim I know and hate! It's been four years and you STILL haven't managed to pull anything off. And you never will! Not as long as the INCREDIBLE DIB is here!"
"Bumpedubum," Gaz mumbled sarcastically.
Dib sighed, getting tired of watching Zim shriek his head off. "C'mon Gaz, let's get home," he smiled.
"I'll be there in a sec Dib. There's a kid I have to go doom."
Hearing this at least once every day, Dib made his way home, knowing she'll be home before moonlight.
However, Gaz didn't leave that spot. She just kept staring at Zim shriveling on the ground. Her brother had hit him hard with that stuff. The girl sighed. She had mixed feelings about the alien boy.
On one hand, she was annoyed by him. He always went on about how cool he was, when he couldn't even get one of his plans to work. He was wasting precious technology on idiotic plans. Not to mention the ones that effected her,such as using her as an umbrella, or kidnapping her brother so she couldn't go to Bloaty's Pizza Hog. He was an idiot in her eyes.
On the other hand, she respected him. At least Dib finally left her alone and decided to go bug someone else with his crazy rants. She also knew he was trying to take over her race, and she respected that. Hey, her race needed to be conquered. They were all a bunch of idiots. If only Zim wasn't so bad at take overs…
"Hold still," she said at last, pulling out a towel from thin air. She wrapped the green boy in the soft, yellow towel and began to dry him off. If anyone had been watching, they would look like a mother drying her baby off after he got out of the bathtub.
"Quit squirming!" Gaz frowned, wondering why she was helping him in the first place. Probably because she hated seeing someone she half-respected in such a pitiful state.
Once she had finished, she helped the green boy to his feet and looked him over. "There. That should do it."
Zim examined his now dry body, then looked up at Gaz. He never really took notice of her, unless he had to. I which cases, he always just considered her the sister of his enemy…however, he secretly did appreciate the fact she wasn't as stupid as the rest of he race. Now, why had she just helped him?
"Well done Gaz-human. I suppose a 'thank you' is in order," Zim said.
"Nah, don't worry about it. Just don't expect me to help you again in the future," she warned.
"And why did you help me this time, Dib-sister?" Zim wanted to know.
"Because I'm madly in love with you," she answered, simply.
Zim's eye twitched. "W-Whaaaa…?"
"I was joking, you creep," Gaz glared. With that being sneered, Gaz made her way home, leaving Zim with a puzzled look on his face.
"Did you get the kid?' Dib asked, as he unlocked the door to their house.
"When don't I?' Gaz muttered as she walked inside.
Neither of them said anything as they entered the Membrane household. "Dad!" Dib called out.
"In the kitchen son!" They heard their father call.
The two Membrane children quickly headed to the kitchen, eager to see their father after three months. "Dad, wait'll you hear-" His voice faltered as he saw what was in front of him.
His Dad's communicator screen.
"Hi kids, how was your day?" he said, cheerfully.
"Dad!" Gaz growled. "You were supposed to come home today!"
"I am here, Gazlene," he assured.
"I meant in person", she said, stressing her words.
Pofessor Membrane sighed. "Honey, every time I say I'm coming home, you know I mean by communicator!"
Gaz clenched her fists. "So when, may I ask, do you plan on coming home FOR REAL?"
"Um…" her father muttered as he pulled out a calender. "Let's see…how does….May, 2015 sound?'
"Are you kidding me?' Gaz screamed. 'Aren't you going to say something, Dib?"
Dib silently looked at his sister. "Well ..I mean…he-he's busy…"
"Gr, you're just as bad as he is!" Gaz cried out. "I HATE THIS FAMILY!" she screamed as she ran up the stairs to her room.
Dib and Membrane watched in silence. "Jeez, usually your child must become fourteen for you to suffer this kind of abuse."
"We are fourteen, Dad," Dib frowned.
"…Really? You're not six?'
Gaz furiously slammed her door in hurt and anger. "Stupid Dib…stupid Da-" She didn't finish her sentence as she felt her eyes sting.
No! No, no, no, NO! Don't cry! Don't cry! You're stronger than that!" She shuffled through her back pack, knowing there was only one thing that made her forget all her troubles: Her Gameslave.
She gave a collected sigh of relief once she held her precious game in her hands. Her life sucked. Her brother was a coward, her father didn't care for her, and her mother…but that's why she had her Gameslave wasn't it? To escape in her own little world, where all she had to worry about was how to get to level ten without using any of her lives.
Muttering to herself, she flipped her Gameslave on and….
…her batteries went dead.
"NNNOOOOOOOOO!" She wailed into the night. Screaming in rage, Gaz threw herself on her bed, crying her eyes out. She didn't have anything to distract her from her *shudders* feelings, now she had to deal with them. She angrily pounded her pillow, hating herself for letting tears spill from her eyes. It was a sign of weakness. And Gaz Membrane was not weak.
Finally tired from her tantrum, she turned her gaze to her nightstand. A picture of her mom smiling was there. She had long purple hair in a ponytail with shiny, amber eyes. Many people said Gaz would grow up to look just like her.
Gaz took the picture and gazed at her lost mother. The one person who encouraged her to be different, not shoot her down like her brother or father. When her mother left…it shattered Gaz emotionally and mentally. She had become a different girl that day. Her father had told her it was humanity, that things like that happened. She had then decided she wanted nothing to with humanity. She HATED it.
Wiping tears of loneliness from her eyes, the girl turned her gaze out the window….and gasped. "Wow!" she breathed.
The sky was full of stars. Something she hadn't seen since her mother's death. Opening her window, she grabbed her binoculars and sighed. This was beautiful.
She would die before she told anyone but, unlike her brother, she adored space. She loved dreaming about what could be out there and how many different kinds of aliens there were. She had been tempted many times to ask Zim about them, but that would mean talking to him, and who wanted that?
Man, how she wished she could get out there and see it all. Did they have pizza in space? If not, what the was their problem?
She gave a little gasp as she saw a shooting star. "Cool!" she cried. She wanted to rush downstairs and tell someone….but who would care? Her father would neglect it, and her brother would say it was nothing compared to an alien. My mom would watch it with me…the lonely girl grumbled in her mind.
Since the day her only friend left her, the girl cared for only three things: Her Gameslave, Bloaty's Pizza Hog, and space.
"And I intend to keep it that way," she vowed.
"MASTAH! YOU CAME HOME!" GIR shouted with joy, but it was soon replaced by sobbing eyes. "I thought you was gonna leave forever!"
Zim frowned at the little robot. "GIR, how many times must we go through this? I need to go to skool 70% of my time each week. That doesn't mean I'm abandoning you!" The Irk let his computer remove his wig and contacts. "Trust me, when that day comes, you're going to the farthest animal shelter I can fly to! This I swear…"
GIR took no notice of this threat. "Sooooo how was mastah's DAAAAAAAAAYYY?" GIR cheered.
"Humuliating!" Zim announced. "Some over-sized hyooman threw me in a disposal unit! I will make sure that human pays dearly the next time I see him!"
"…Aw, how sweet!" Gir gushed.
Zim fiddled with one of his antennas. "But for now I don't have anything to report to my Tallests when they contact me."
"Oh dat? Dey already called!" GIR said, as he grabbed his piggy toy.
"WHAT? MY TALLESTS CALLED AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?" Zim screamed.
GIR shrugged. "I told them mastah was out playing with Dibby!"
Zim's eye twitched. "I will kill you after my meeting." With that, the invader made his way to the nearest 'human disposal', to enter his lab.
"…Want some watah?" GIR called to him.
"No GIR, I most certainly do not want water!" Zim said before climbing in. "I must report to my Tallests as soon as possible! You know how much respect they have for me!"
"Why won't this stupid voodoo doll work?" Purple, one of the Tallests, cried in frustration.
"I don't know!" Red, the other one, growled. "The box said make the doll look like your enemy and have fun!"
"It looks just like Zim! And I've jabbed this needle in him like, twenty times!" Purple cried.
"Well, try somewhere other than his back!" Red demanded.
"But.. hold on, we're getting a message….from Zim. Better get comfortable," Purple sighed.
"Why did we even agree to contact him today?' Red demanded to know, as he sat down in a bean bag chair.
"We wanted to see if our doll worked!" Purple cried as he pushed his 'open 'E-mail' button. Joining Red in a bean bag chair, they winced as they saw the annoying soldier on screen.
"Sorry I'm late my Tallests! I was at the skool trying to gain more Earthly information….did you know one of the human's leaders got stuck in a bathtub once?'
"Not important Zim!" Red waved his claw, as if dismissing the information. "Now…what have you accomplished today?"
Zim got nervous and gave a sharp cry. "Oh forgive me my Tallests…my back has been hurting a lot recently."
Purple gave Red a quick high five before saying, "Let me guess, you haven't discovered and/or conquered anything new today?"
Zim quickly waved his hands back and forth. "O-On the contrary my most feared rulers, I have discovered something, most brilliant! ALMOST AS BRILLIANT AS ME!"
"Oh, this ought to be good," Red smirked to Purple.
Zim rubbed his hands together. "O.K, wait for it….A WATER HANKIE!"
"Say what?" the Tallests said in unison.
"It is a blanket that can absorb the evil water that falls onto your skin! I have just witnessed it today! IT'S GENIUS! And with the right technology, I shall MAKE MYSELF A SUIT OF ARMOR MADE OUT OF WATER HANKIES!" Zim glowed.
The Tallests gave him a disapproving frown.
Zim was quiet. "…..What? You guys want one? They'll probably come in yellow, orange, blue…"
"Pathetic Zim," Red frowned.
"What?" Zim whispered, hopelessly.
"Is that really the best you could come up with?" Purple frowned. "Did it ever occur to you that we don't even have water on Irk?"
Zim scratched his neck. "Um…well…"
"Zim, may we be frank?" Red interrupted. "You haven't accomplished anything in four years! That's pretty sad."
"I suppose it's true that productions…have-have been slow…" Zim whispered.
"Zim, we're starting to think you don't have what it takes to take over a planet," Red frowned.
Zim's antennas stood up straight. "What are you saying, my Lord?"
"I think we might need to strip you of your title as an invader," Red said, with mock sympathy.
"WHAT?" Zim screeched.
Purple leaned into Red. "I thought we already-ooof!" He winced as his partner punched him in his squeedly-spooch.
Zim looked crushed. "You're sending me back home?"
"NO!" Both Tallests cried in unison.
Red gave a nervous chuckle. "No…no. I'm afraid the only real penalty for failing to conquer a planet…is death. Execution, to be more graphic."
Zim gasped in horror.
Purple once again leaned into Red. "Oh, now I get it. At first I was like 'where's he going with this', then you were like 'we're taking you off your mission', and I was like 'nuh-uh', then you were-"
The Tallests looked up at the screen. "What?" Red asked.
Zim looked like he was going to vomit. "L…Let me get some…help. Allow me to find a partner-in-crime and together we will conquer this PUNY PLANET! Hey, two masterminds are better than one, right?'
Red and Purple exchanged a look. "So…you want to find someone willing to work along side you, and help you rule Earth?" Purple asked.
"Yes, and I swear WE WILL BE THE GREATEST TEAM ANY WORLD HAS EVER FEARED!" Zim screamed.
Red held back a laugh. "Zim's trying to find someone who is willing to work with him? This I've got to see!"
"Huh?" Purple questioned.
Red waved a claw. 'Just watch." He turned his head to face the small Irk. "All right Zim, here's the deal. Because we're so generous, we'll give you a week to find a good partner, once the week is up, we expect you to bring him here through jet stream. BUT if you cannot find a good, clever, hard working partner by the end of the week, I'm afraid it's the execution for you…..ripping you PAK to pieces, to be exact….not trying to be mean, just honest."
Zim nervously rubbed his PAK. "D-Don't you worry my Tallests…The perfect partner is out there somewhere, and I intend to find him! Sure, I may not know which planet he is on, but once I- DOW! MY TENDER BACK!"
Red gave sly smile. "Bye Zim!" With that, he shut off the communicator.
Almost instantly, Purple stood up. "Are you CRAZY? That was the perfect opportunity to get rid of him once and for all! I AM ASHAMED TO CALL YOU MY PARTNER!"
"Easy Purple," Red said. "I'm only doing this because I want a few more laughs before we kill that little twerp. He'll never be able to find someone who can put up with him and his craziness, and when the week is up and his spirit is crushed, we'll rip that PAK of his to shreds!"
Purple wiped a tear from his eye. "That was beautiful…I'm so proud!"
Red gave a wicked chuckle. "This is going to be a fun week!"
Well, what do you think? I stayed up late writing this, so be nice. NO FLAMES! I WILL NOT ACCEPT HATERS, O.K?