Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be
Beta: the absolutely amazing darkamber anything left/any advice I didn't take is all on me
Warnings/Squicks: abuse of food stuffs and archangel mojo?
Summary/Prompt: based on theinsaneeraser's prompt Sam's getting tiered of Dean and Cas' eye-fucking, so he enlists the help of a certain Trickster to help him plan a prank.; 'm afraid it's not terribly pranky. Hope you like it anyway.
Written for spn_gabriel_sam fic exchange.
AN: I can't believe I'm using this as a title, but I ran across this (check the 9th proper sentence) and I just thought 'oh gods, that's so Gabriel', hence the name, lol.
Sam looked warily at the rather flimsy door in their motel room- the one that hadn't been there five minutes ago. "Are you sure about this?" he asked nervously.
"Relax, Sammy," the honey haired Archangel/Trickster told him, popping a lollipop obscenely out of his mouth.
And in no way was Sam noticing this, uh-uh, no way.
"I know my brother and I know yours. Unfortunately," he added quietly so Sam wouldn't hear. "Dean will throw one of his hissy fits; Cas'll try to calm him down. Eventually, they'll start with that infuriating staring and with no one around and no distractions one of them- and my money's on Cas- will finally do something about it."
"They're pretty quiet," Sam noted, one leg shaking nervously as he tried not to notice the way Gabriel was wrapping his tongue around his sweet.
"Mmm, sound proofed the walls. Figured ya didn't want to hear what they were, or will be, getting up to in there," Gabriel said with a flippant nonchalance that only a Trickster could.
"Ugh," Sam winced, "thanks Gabe, really needed that image."
The angel shrugged.
Sam was thinking, not for the first time, that this had been a bad idea, but he'd been going insane and Gabriel was the only person he knew who could possibly help get Dean and Cas to figure it out. Since the Apocalypse that wasn't and Cas' upgraded angeling, he'd expected the long wistful looks and- even he could admit this, no matter how freaky it sounded- eye-fucking to stop. Neither Cas or Dean had any reason to avoid it, them, now. Cas wasn't about to Fall at the slightest provocation, and there wasn't the constant fear of Dean becoming Michael's meat suit. Still, six months and one resurrected Archangel later, they still hadn't figured it out or at least they hadn't done anything about it.
"What the Hell is your brother up to this time!" Dean yelled at the room at large.
Cas stood quietly in the far corner of the deliberately laid out room, huge fluffy bed taking up most of it. Even Castiel could put two and two together as to what Gabriel was trying to infer.
Dean was still pacing the room, reminding Cas of when he'd watched Dean in the Green Room trying to figure out how to get to Sam before he released Lucifer. He shook his head as if clearing the memory- it was not something the angel liked to dwell on.
For the last two hours Dean had fumed, paced, and screamed. He pounded every wall so hard that there should have been deep fist-size holes. And that's not even touching the phone; he'd called every number on it, only to have every call go straight to Cas' phone. Dean was going to kill Gabriel if they ever got out of this.
"How long can they stay in there?" Sam asked the room at large, more out of curiosity than concern, after all Cas was with Dean and from what Gabriel said he still had his mojo, he just couldn't use it to get out of the room.
"Well, I stocked them with enough supplies," he emphasized 'supplies' and gave a little eyebrow wiggle, "for two weeks, figured Cas could fill in any gaps."
The look of shock/horror on Sam's face was worth more than the fun of tormenting Dean ever could be. Gabriel was pleased.
"What?" he asked innocently. "Those two are both stubborn asses and despite what he thinks I don't want to kill Dean. He's too much fun to play with." Gabriel doubted it would take anywhere near two weeks for their brothers to figure it out (he was betting they'd have it sussed within a day, two at most), but he wanted time with Sam and if the younger Winchester thought the wait would be that short there was no way he'd agree to go off with him.
Sam rolled his eyes, thinking pointlessly, 'at least Gabriel'd stopped with that damn pornographic lollipop'.
"So whaddya wanna do, Sammy-boy? We've got time from the sound of things."
"I thought you said you sound proofed the place?"
"Okay, so, maybe I only sound proofed it for human ears," the angel answered unrepentantly.
"Uhh, why'd you tell me that?"
Dean had finally settled down, or what passed for settling down when he was mad as Hell and ready to kill the first thing that crossed his path, especially if it happened to be angel-shaped. He sat on one the edge of the oversized bed, beer in hand just staring at some distant spot beyond the floor.
Cautiously, Cas moved towards his hunter. "I know it's not much consolation, but I do not believe Gabriel meant this as any sort of punishment."
Dean snorted, "Everything Gabriel does is either a trick or a punishment."
"Not always," Castiel murmured.
"No?" he asked incredulously. "Name one time."
"Last week when that banshee went after Sam."
Dean gulped at the memory. Sammy almost got gutted by the banshee, but something seemed to start the creature giving Sam time to ram his dagger home.
"And the last full moon, the werewolf. The group of demons in Coeur D'Allene. The restless spirit in Lincoln… "
Dean said nothing, just listening as Cas rattled off every close shave they'd been in over the past three months. It hurt his brain to think all those skin of their teeth escapes had been due to the part-time Trickster. "Why?" Dean finally asked.
Cas shrugged, actually shrugged, "Gabriel is an enigma to everyone except himself. I doubt if even our Father knows why he does the things he does."
Dean looked up at his angel, a half smile hovered on Cas' lips, "Great now, I'm gonna have to start liking him."
Cas' eyes sparkled as he let himself laugh softly.
"You know what you need, Sammy?" Gabriel asked as he hung off the end of the bed, head dangling towards the floor. "You need to relax."
Sam rolled his eyes, "Somehow I doubt we have the same definition of relaxing."
"Trust me, Sammy." Gabriel smirked playfully, rolling onto his elbows so he could watch Sam right side up.
"Gabriel, I trust you about as far as I can throw you."
"Oh, Sam," the archangel batted his eyelashes, "I didn't know you cared."
"Great, so your idea of fun is to torment me to death."
Gabriel just looked at the younger Winchester with his best 'bitch please' face.
"Sorry, Gabe." Sam really didn't like to think the angel was being cute. Knowing it was probably the stupidest thing he'd done since asking the angel's help with Dean and Cas, "What do you wanna do?"
The smile Gabriel gave him left no doubt that Sam was in for a ride.
"Gabriel, why are we doing this?" Sam asked the archangel, still uncomfortable sitting on a beach lounger somewhere only Gabriel knew where while his brother and Cas worked their way through their issues.
"Because if I left it to you we'd still be in that motel room with you making pathetic doe eyes at that door. At least now, you're outside with a surprisingly good, if rather green, drink and wonderfully charming company, if I do say so myself."
Sam glared at him half-heartedly, which only served to make Gabriel smile.
"See, knew you'd enjoy yourself," Gabriel preened.
Sam had to admit, it was nice. In his line of work sunlight and beaches were both in short supply, and the lack of monsters, unless he counted Gabriel (and that thought should not have produced those kinds of images), was definitely a plus. Despite the unwanted imagery, Sam had to admit he was glad Gabriel was keeping tabs on their brothers. It made him worry less. Unfortunately, without that worry he was left with his thoughts and with the archangel. And it was unnerving how often the one seemed to be about the other. Sam shook himself and went back to drinking the green thing in his hand, maybe if he drank enough of them the thoughts of Gabriel would go away.
Next to him Gabriel sipped his drink and looked smug.
"Did I say I was gonna have to start liking him?" Dean asked several hours later.
Cas tried to hide his amusement, "Yes, Dean, you did in fact," he assured.
"I take it back. All the help in the world isn't worth this."
"I'm sorry, Dean. I know mine is not the company you would prefer to keep."
Dean started at the hurt in his angel's voice. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Precisely what I said. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Don't give me that Cas. I've known you too long to believe that."
"Dean, you have known me just over two years. Human children have not even separated from their mothers after so short a time."
"Christ Cas, the only other person I've known that long, other than Dad and Sam, is Bobby! You're practically family."
Castiel smiled wanly.
Dean felt like he was missing something.
Gabriel hummed happily as he looked over his artwork. You couldn't blame him, not really. Who could resist the lure of 6'4" of Sasquatch dozing idly on the beach? No one!
Now, he was 6'4" of DD sand-breasted Sasquatch. Gabriel toyed with the idea of enhancing Sam's main package, but couldn't be bothered when the mortal was already nicely enhanced and that was before Sam's dream started.
The warm sun and soft breeze had lulled Sam into a deep dream filled sleep. He dreamt of Skittles and strawberries and peppermint sticks and honey amber eyes with flecks of agate running through them that sparkled with mischief and warmth. He dreamt of full pink lips slick with saliva and sugar. He let himself drift through the dream enjoying the peace it gave him.
These dreams were nothing new, but they still startled him when he woke- dreaming about Gabriel had a tendency put anyone who knew him off; you could never tell if the Archangel/Trickster was going to actually pop out of one.
"Wakey, wakey, Sammy," Gabriel chirped into the large man's ear.
"No," Sam whispered, obviously awake. He shifted slightly, his chest feeling awkwardly heavy and heated. "Do I want to know what you've done?" he accused, not wanting to look at his chest.
"Nothing permanent, if that's what you're thinking, "Gabriel pouted, muttering under his breath, "'sides why would I want to mess with perfection."
Gabriel poked the man in his side with a pointy finger. "Yes. Or should I tell you blow by blow what your brother and mine are getting up to?" He carefully left out that all they'd done for hours was sulk.
Sam jolted upright, "I'm up, I'm up!" The hard packed sand managing to stay in place long enough for Sam to look down at the large sand mounds with little, brightly coloured cocktail umbrellas over the 'nipples', then glare at his archangel who was failing exponentially at hiding his amusement.
Between snickers and badly conceal guffaws Gabriel managed to get out, "Come on, gigantor, I wanna get outta here. There's a Jack Rabbit with our name on it!" he added with entirely too much excitement.
Dean had spent the last two hours watching Cas. Not that Cas moved that much. He mostly sat on the edge of the bed opposite Dean, studying his lap, or possibly communing with some unknown force. For all Dean knew he was having a nice angelic argument with Gabriel. Whatever he was doing, it bothered Dean. It didn't feel right.
"Yes, Dean?" the angel answered quietly.
Dean huffed, he wasn't good at this; 'talking' was Sammy's territory, not his. "Look man, you know I'm no good at this…" He faltered, running a hand through is short mousy hair. "Damn-it Cas, I know something's wrong, ruffled your feathers, whatever. I just wanna know what it is." As he said the words Dean almost scared himself, realizing he meant them even more than he'd thought. This was more than Cas telling him, he needed to know, needed to make it better. Something had upset his angel and he would damn well find out what and then he'd damn well annihilate it.
Cas turned his still lowered head, eyes seemed brighter, shining like daggers, "Thank you Dean, but I must deal with this on my own." He tried to offer Dean a shaky smile.
Standing, Dean began pacing the room again, this time angry at himself; Cas was his angel, his friend, he should be able to help him. If there was one thing Dean hated more than angels it was feeling helpless when the people he cared about were involved.
Sam screamed, loud and long, arms flailing in the air. Next to him Gabriel smiled and laughed, and secretly loving every curve that pushed them closer together.
Gabriel had been right, the ride was awesome, Hell, the entire park was amazing. This wasn't the kind of thing Winchesters did on their summer vacation; it wasn't even the kind of thing he and Jess would have done when he was trying to be 'normal'. Sam had to admit sometimes Gabriel had great ideas.
"Again?" the archangel asked as they climbed out of the car, smile plastered on his face. It wasn't often Sam or Dean relaxed and Gabriel was playful by nature, even when he was a full-time Archangel, so anything that accomplished both was top of his 'to do' list. Gabriel seldom let people (human, monster, deity, or other) get close to him, but for some unfathomable reason Sam was someone he wanted to be close to- in more ways than one this whole thing with Dean and Cas was just a great opportunity to have some alone time with his favourite Winchester.
"Ready for another go, or does big bad Sammy Winchester need a break?" Gabriel teased knowing full well that Sam was up for just about anything Gabriel could throw at him coaster wise.
Quirking an eye, "Oh it's on," Sam promised and made a bee line for Phantom's Revenge.
Laughing carefree, Gabriel followed Sam to the entrance.
Six hours later, night had fallen and the park was closing up for the night. Gabriel and Sam sat outside one of the many food stalls sharing a bucket of fries. Well, technically they were Sam's fries, but Gabriel was Gabriel and Sam really didn't mind him stealing his fries (it was why he got the extra-large bucket), especially when it made Gabriel smile like that.
"Were to next, Sammy?" the angel asked as he popped another fry into his mouth.
"Back to the motel, we need to check on Cas and Dean," he said reluctantly. He was actually enjoying himself, and Gabriel.
Gabriel wrinkled his brow, one eyebrow shooting upwards, "Why on earth would we need to do that?"
Sam rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, followed by an entirely too playful look.
"They're fine, Sammy."
Sam's expression hardened.
"Okay, they're not fine, Cas is moping because he's finally figured it out and Dean's being pigheaded, nothing new there."
Sam relaxed, smiling at his archangel.
Gabriel stopped his mini-tirade, tilting his head sharply, causing Sam to go from merely smiling to laughing. "Okay, Winchester, what's so funny?" Gabriel may have been a Trickster and Loki, and therefore accustomed to laughter around him, but he wasn't used to being the focus of said laughter.
"Nothing," Sam said through his laughs. "Just sometimes you remind me of Cas. The indignation and the head-tilt when you're upset or confused. All that's missing is the long, intense staring contests with Dean." A flare of jealousy shot through Sam when he thought of Dean sharing those kinds of stares with Gabriel, but he tamped it down quickly.
"Pfft,," Gabriel scoffed; if he was going to have lusty eye-fucking with anyone it would be the towering mountain of Winchester in front of him. He snatched a handful of fries from Sam's plate, then turned away from him in a huff.
Sam noticed the flash of true hurt in Gabriel's eyes, "Gabe, Gabriel," he spoke softly, "I'm sorry. Seriously, man, c'mon. I didn't mean anything by it."
Gabriel slanted his eyes and snaked a look at Sam, before turning around quickly to face him and growling, "I am not my baby brother."
Sam had the decency to look chagrinned, "I know. Trust me, I know." In the first place, Sam wasn't having those kinds of thoughts about Cas- he shivered, trying to keep away the images of his brother and Cas that Gabriel had painted earlier.
Gabriel arched a somewhat placated eyebrow, telling Sam that sooner or later he was going to have to elaborate on that statement.
Cas was sure he could see the wear on the carpet where Dean had been pacing, and it was beginning to trouble him. In the past few hours, Dean hadn't said a word, just paced. He hadn't grabbed a beer from the fridge or acknowledged his hunger, which Castiel was painfully aware of, he could hear his hunter's stomach growling loudly.
The hunter froze and turned towards his angel, Cas hadn't spoken in hours; Dean was beginning to think he wouldn't speak to him again.
"You're hungry. You must eat," he intoned with a seriousness that made Dean want to laugh and cry at the same time.
Dean eyed his angel carefully. He knew Cas would do almost anything for him, especially if it meant keeping him safe, and maybe he could use that to get his answers. Walking back to his angel, he sat on the bed next to him. "I'll eat, when you tell me what's wrong," he stated simply.
"Dean," the angel sounded defeated and exasperated.
"No. Those are the terms. You talk, I'll eat."
"Please, Dean. You won't like what I have to say and I would not risk our friendship over it." Cas' eye shone brighter and brighter as he implored Dean to understand.
It took Dean a moment to recognize the shine in his angel's eyes for what it was. His angel was fighting back tears. He realized in that moment that he was at the centre of whatever was upsetting his angel. He was what was hurting Cas. "Cas," he gulped around the sudden lump in his throat, "what'd I do?"
Cas snapped his head up, staring into Dean's eyes, holding their gaze for long minutes. He didn't notice when the tears he was fighting back began to flow slowly down his face. He didn't notice Dean's hand reach for them, until his warm calloused skin touched his face and he gasped at the touch. He wanted to pull away, stop this from happening, but he felt himself lean into the touch instead.
A jolt of electricity shot through Dean when he finally touched Castiel's face, and he knew, he just knew. And before he could argue, Dean climbed into Cas' lap letting their bodies touch in a sweet embrace. "You should have told me," his mouth ghosting his words over Castiel's cheek. "You know I can be a dunce sometimes."
"Yes," Castiel managed to pant out, making Dean chuckle warmly.
Dean felt Cas smile at his laughter and it made him feel warm and safe.
Gabriel smiled widely, tuning out the sounds from Dean and Cas' room. Just because he was all for helping his brother and Dean work out their relationship issues didn't mean he wanted to listen to them once they had.
"Ok, I get really uncomfortable when you smile like that. It usually means something very bad for someone," Sam said as the light from the sky ebbed and flowed and twisted above him.
Gabriel could hear Sam's unspoken 'like me'. The angel could kick himself for putting that kind of ingrained fear into his …he shook his head, not his just Sam. "Relax Sammy, nothing for you to worry about."
"Thanks, I find that so reassuring," he said, harsher than he'd intended.
Gabriel couldn't stop it this time, he visibly cringed.
Sam sighed; he knew he was being unfair to the archangel, Gabriel'd been fairly well behaved since he rejoined the living; his only Trickster tendencies were directed at Dean, and considering the prank wars they used to get in, Gabriel was going easy on him. "Sorry," Sam admitted softly, "you didn't deserve that."
Swallowing his pride- after all, he was madder at himself than he could ever be at Sam- Gabriel, nodded. "Thanks."
Smiling gently, Sam turned his head back to the skies. "It's beautiful."
The sadness instantly fled from Gabriel's face. "I figured your nerdy self would like it."
Still smiling, Sam cast his eyes at the archangel. "And you don't?" he asked playfully.
Gabriel just smiled his brilliant sunshine smile; the sight making Sam's heart skip and stomach flip. "Sometimes more than others," he conceded, wishing he had the nerve or the right to just pull Sam to him and get this little dance of theirs over with.
Sam had the irrational thought that he'd like to be one of those 'sometimes'. As it was he could have stayed there happily watching nature's light show dance in the sky above them with Gabriel at his side. It was nice, it felt good. Here he could almost pretend that Gabriel actually wanted to be with him. After a while, he asked, "Where're we headed next?" and if he sounded a little wistful, well, maybe he was.
Gabriel thought about that, really thought about it. He wanted to show Sam something the mortal could associate with him. The Aurora was a start but he wanted something more, something calm and comforting, something Sam would remember.
The next thing Sam knew he had a snowball flying right at him.
"You're getting slow, Sammy!" Gabriel laughed.
Sam didn't miss a beat, "I'll show you slow," throwing a barrage of quickly made snow balls at the archangel. Smirking when the first on smacked Gabriel in the face with a satisfying 'thwat'.
"Oh, it's on, Winchester," Gabriel play growled as he dove for Sam.
"How are they doing?" Sam asked, sipping on the huge mug of impossibly sweet and creamy hot cocoa- trust Gabriel to magic up the best.
"Hmm?" Gabriel came up from his cocoa with a whipped cream mustache.
Sam stared, momentarily lost …and in no way did he have to stifle a grown as the archangel licked it off with an entirely too enticing tongue.
"If you mean our idiot brothers, they figured it out hours ago." Gabriel admitted as if it was no big deal.
"Oh, good," Sam took another sip of his cocoa and leaned back with a smile.
It was a hard thing to do, shocking a Trickster, but Sam had done it. Thankfully, Gabriel was good at hiding his emotions, with his family it was a survival trait. "We can go back whenever you want," the angel offered.
"Mmm," Sam replied unfazed by Gabriel's admission; he was enjoying his time with the angel and wasn't in any hurry to leave. After all, he knew Dean and Cas were safe and finally happy so there was no reason to rush back to their cold motel room, not when he had warm chocolate, warm fire, and Gabriel here.
"You okay, kiddo?"
"Yeah," he chuckled, smiling brightly, "For once I think I am."
Not much could have made Gabriel happier, he wanted to make Sam happy, give him a respite from the horrors of their lives. True he wanted to give Sam more than that, but it was a start.
Over his cocoa, Sam watched Gabriel, curious how he'd react to his answers. He would never have expected the absolutely angelic smile that graced the archangel's lips. He wished he could keep that look on Gabriel's face longer, but as quickly as it arrived, it was gone. "Gabe, thank you," he knew it wouldn't get that smile back, but he meant it anyway.
"Hey," Gabriel played it off, "what are no-longer-mortal-enemies for?"
Sam rolled his eyes, "You know, I think it's safe to say 'friend' by now."
"Doubt your brother would agree."
And there it was again that almost hurt sound in Gabriel's voice; it was rapidly becoming one of Sam's least favourite sounds.
"Good thing you're not here with Dean then; you probably would have dropped an avalanche on him instead of just snowballs," Sam teased, hoping to relax his angel.
It seemed to work, Gabriel smiled one of his bright smiles, "You know Sammy, you really shouldn't be giving me ideas."
"I know," he said, the ghost of a yawn edging into his voice, "'m willing to take the risk."
Gabriel instantly snapped the armchair Sam was sitting in into a large recliner and watched as Sam stretched out like a cat along the length of the chair, his sinewy muscles rippling visible even under his shirt. Suddenly, the room was too hot and Gabriel's clothes too tight. "Be right back, Sammy," he all but gasped, disappearing with a snap.
Sam half dosed for the next few hours, leaving Gabriel to just watch him. Watch how his chest moved almost sensually up and down in a slow, steady rhythm. How his face softened and his lips puckered when the stress of their lives abated even for a few blissful minutes. Gabriel couldn't stand it anymore. "S-a-m," Gabriel sing-songed.
"Mmph." Sam answered. He was happy; it was safe here, calm in a way that neither he nor Gabriel had felt in too, too long. He could feel the heat of the roaring fire casting a soft yellow-orange over everything, and he couldn't help remembering how the firelight brought out Gabriel's eyes and made the soft angles of his face sharper, more defined- beautiful. And right now with the warmth he felt in this place, Sam didn't mind thinking that; his lips quirking up into a lazy smile.
"Come on Sammy-boy," the archangel wheedled, hovering just above Sam's face. "'m bored." In truth he was lonely.
Sam cracked an eye open, seeing Gabriel's twinkling eyes too close for comfort. His pink lips teasingly close as well, right there, all he'd have to do is raise his head a fraction of an inch and he could finally taste those candy lips.
Something flickered in Gabriel's eyes, a jolt of recognition and desire. "Don't just think about it Winchester, do it," Gabriel breathed over Sam's lips.
For once in his life Sam listened.