Disclaimer: You know what the word disclaimer sounds like? Disk Lemur. Yeah. Take a moment to appreciate that grade-A witticism. We own that joke. You know what we don't own? Basically anything else.
"I don't like the fact that they're from the LeCreuset team. I could never stand that guy," DaCosta said darkly.
"Don't even get me started on LeCreuset! Did you know he murdered one of my best friends for telling him that he was a laughing stock?" Waltfeld asked sadly. "He totally is, too. Why else would he hide his face in shame behind that mask?"
"Sir?" DaCosta asked, clearly confused. "I really don't think that's why-"
"Shut up, DaCosta, no one asked you."
~In the Middle of the Desert~
"What are we doing in this awful place?" Dearka whined.
"They say you can't really appreciate the desert until you've lived here," Waltfeld said, walking up to them.
"Uhh…" Dearka gaped, looking at him. "You may have misheard me because…of…the wind. What I was just saying was, 'What are we doing in this artful place?' Right Yzak?"
Yzak ignored him, choosing not to dignify that with a response.
"Right, well," Waltfeld said, moving on through introductions. "It must have been tough getting down here. We appreciate you coming."
"We definitely didn't just spend the last hour bitching about how ZAFT sent us you guys instead of anything useful," DaCosta added.
"What a coincidence," Dearka started cheerfully. "We definitely didn't just spend the last hour bitching about having to spend time in the desert."
"Good that we're all on the same page," Waltfeld said happily. "Now, onto more pressing matters; who wants coffee?"
"What's that?" Kisaka asked looking at the stone in Cagalli's hand.
"It's a rock, foo'," Cagalli replied.
Kisaka sighed. He was not paid enough to deal with this.
~Desert Tiger's Base~
"I hoped that they would wait a little bit longer," Waltfeld said, looking at the screen. "Can't change that."
"Aren't we attacking?" Yzak quasi-yelled.
"What?" Waltfeld looked surprised. "Why would we do that?"
"Uh, gee, I don't know. Maybe because it's our enemy?"
"You know, the sass is really not appreciated."
"Fine. I'll just report this to ZAFT. I mean, we could always use another laughing stock…" Yzak trailed off as he started walking away.
"Wait," Waltfeld cried. "We'll attack them, okay? I can't end up like LeCreuset!"
"That's what I thought."
Kira sighed. "Even my spork can't cheer me up today."
"What's taking you so long?" Mwu asked. "Hurry up and eat. Here, take this too," he said dropping some shawarma on Kira's tray.
"Mmm, mmm, mmm. Believe me, nothing beats fresh local eats."
"Uhh, Commander? Haven't you had enough to eat?"
Mwu stopped smiling. "Um, excuse you. I was just trying to be friendly." He collected his tray and stormed out of the cafeteria.
Just then, the Archangel was attacked.
~Archangel Docking Bay~
"That's right," Mwu said seriously into the speaker, "Launcher on the first machine and Sword on the second one. I'll tell you why! Because Santa Clause is coming to town! Also, it's quicker for me to change aircrafts than reequip. Mainly the Santa thing though…"
~Archangel Command Centre~
"Captain!" Badgiruel called. "Permission to use the Lohengrin?"
"Denied," Murrue responded turning around, angrily in her chair. "There's too much risk of contaminating the environment."
"…Permission to use Silver Crystal Power?"
"The power of love and friendship?" Murrue asked.
~Archangel Docking Bay~
Murdoch watched as Cagalli started to fly the plane out. "Aw come on!" He shook an angry fist in the air. "Kids these days what with their stealing military technology. When I was their age, we had respect!"
JenWinstheQuidditch: Please do not assume that these two chapters coming out so quickly is a sign that we're going to start updating regularly again. Well, I mean, I guess you can if you really want to…
Kashamuffin: I don't know how to word anymore, so…here you go.