Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Glee.
A/N: Yeah, little future!fic of Puck/Kurt. On a side note, I find it rather interesting that when you describe something as "shit" it means that its bad but describe it as "the shit" and its awesome.
Right. Well. I hope you enjoy this story.
"Alright," Puck instructed, his back to the kids, "right arm up, slowly bring it down and step, step-"
"Puck?" A voice he knew only too well asked. Turning around and not glaring, he eyed his student, waiting for her to continue, "No offense and all, because y'know we all like you but this dance isn't all that fantastical."
Puck blinked. He wasn't sure, because he hadn't been in glee at that time, but he though that Finn once said that Rachel told Schue basically the same thing before and they kicked him out and hired the eighth of the seven dwarves named Annoying. And he had to face it, Abby was similar to the now Broadway star. She was less scary and nicer, but similar. "I understand, Abby. I'm not that great at this." He shrugged.
"You're reusing the dance moves from when you were in glee, aren't you?" Abby gave him a knowing look.
"Yep." Puck answered with a nod.
"And your teacher was probably reusing his or her dance moves?" She guessed.
"Not sure." Puck paused, he'd never really thought about it but it did make sense.
"So, we're using not only reused dance moves but re-reused?" She clicked her tongue, "Can we do something to remedy this?"
Puck scratched his ear, "What do you have in mind?"
Abby grinned, "Hire a choreographer."
Nodding, Puck smirked to himself. He about asked a question when Hank voiced it for him, "Who would we hire?"
"Well," Abby started, "I know that we would never, ever, in a million years get him, but it would be magical if we got Kurt Hummel." Puck had to bite his lip from laughing at how easy it would be hire Kurt.
"Who is Kurt Hummel?" Fay asked, flipping her hair behind her shoulder.
Abby was practically gushing, "Kurt Hummel is only the most talented choreographer ever. He's won several awards so far."
"And the catch as to why we couldn't get him is?" Fay asked. She liked the idea of this Hummel guy, he sounded like what they needed.
"He kinda works on Broadway. At the moment he's working with that show that's staring Rachel Berry." Abby deflated.
Hank snorted, "You sound like his stalker. I bet you know what he looks like and what clothes he wears every day."
Abby shook her head, "Not really. Kurt Hummel is an expert at keeping his picture out of the papers and he's never accepted an award in person. When he's asked about it he says he's protecting his husband, friends and family from being thrown into the media."
Puck knew that was only part of the reason, another being that during high school he ended up getting a scar on his face, a thin line going through his left eyebrow and Kurt was very self-conscious of it even though it barely showed up. But then Kurt did always care about how he looked.
"Okay." Fay rolled her eyes, "Since we've discussed that we can't hire Hummel, who should we hire? And for cheap because we seriously can't afford much."
The room all started talking at once. Living in New York made it possible for most of his students to know names of aspiring choreographers and who they might be able to hire. "Hey," Puck said loudly, "Shut it." They all quieted down, and he gave them a nod in thanks. "Okay, I've an idea. And I know you all probably won't go for it, but give it a chance, will you?" He tried to not sound annoyed; he knew they would revolt against his idea, "I know someone who might work. He was in glee with me and-" Puck held up his hand, stopping the protests before they started, "-and I can say that he was a much better dancer than me. Think we could give him a chance?"
The kids all looked at each other before Abby said, "We need to see a dance number before we agree to anything. And the majority of us have to agree to hiring him. And get him here ASAP so that we can decide and get started on finding someone else." She paused, before quickly adding, "Or our new dance moves, if we so wish to hire your friend."
"Agreed." Puck smirked, "Okay, so since we're not going to work on the dancing for the rest of the time, let's do some singing. Hank. You're up."
Puck came home that night and smiled when he saw Kurt was already there. He never knew when Kurt would get off work. It always depended what stage they were in the play, how much practice they needed and in this case, if Rachel threw a fit and walked out claiming she quit. Again.
Walking into the living room, he gave a hug to Kurt and kissed his scar, something he always did as a greeting ever since high school. "Hey."
"Hi." Kurt smiled and responded with a proper kiss, like usual. "How was your day?"
"Fine. Few trouble makers into my office and a few who just needed help."
Kurt chuckled, "Let me guess, the former got the," he paused and when he spoke, his voice was lower as he imitated Puck, "'I know what it's like. Hell, I used to be you. Only worse. I was a badass stud who put kids in dumpsters and threw pee balloons at others - Stop with that look, those were not to be used as ideas for new bullying.' And glare here. 'We're gonna work on a way for you to get your anger or whatever the hell you've got going on out a different way that doesn't hurt people.' Speech?" He chuckled at Puck's glare. "You're a fantastic Guidance Counselor, Noah."
"How was your day?" Puck asked, going to get a beer from the fridge.
"Morning went fine. Everyone was doing as well as expected." Kurt answered, sitting down next to him in the kitchen, "But then late this afternoon someone did something and-"
"Rachel threw a fit."
"You know her so well." Kurt sighed and rubbed his forehead with his finger tips. "So, being as I am 'friends with her' I'm supposed to set her down and 'get her back to work or else'. What does that mean? The 'or else'?"
"Generally," Puck said, "it means you'll be fired."
"But I'm Kurt Hummel!" He all but slammed his hand down on the table.
"And they can't fire you?" Puck asked, amused. "About the fact that you're Kurt Hummel - I'd like to hire you."
"What?" Kurt gave him a look.
"Abby mentioned that I can't choreograph the dances and wants to hire a professional. Or someone who has hopes to be a professional." He raised an eyebrow. "Her dream choreographer is one Kurt Hummel. I said I knew someone - who was in glee with me, who might help."
"Me?" Kurt asked, amused. "Hm. I will have to think about this. After all, I am The Kurt Hummel."
Puck rolled his eyes, "Uh-huh. They aren't expecting The Kurt Hummel of course, so that'll be a nice surprise."
"Sounds like fun." Kurt smiled, "Maybe I won't talk to Rachel, give me time to help the kids."
"You know you can't do that." Puck smiled at the idea, "Though it'd be fun. Letting Rachel stew, wondering why no one has asked her back to work." Kurt nodded, clearly liking the idea. "Okay. But here's the deal with the kids. My 'friend' isn't hired right away-"
"But I'm Kurt Humm-"
"-Kurt Hummel, yes, I know." Puck shook his head, "We've been through this." Taking a swig of his beer, Puck continued, "But they aren't aware of that. And so they demand that before you're hired you've gotta prove that you can choreograph like a pro."
"I am a pro." Kurt said quietly. He sighed, "Okay. So, I could bring in a number of people and have them do a dance, even maybe Rachel with us." He frowned, "Or," after a slight pause, Kurt got a wicked glint in his eyes, "yes. We'll do that dance."
"What dance?" Puck asked slowly.
The wicked glint turned into a nefarious smirk. "Remember that dance that got us that award?"
Puck shook his head, "No. I don't wanna do that dance. Not in front of the kids."
Kurt narrowed his eyes, "We will do that dance or I will invite Rachel to eat with us one night and you will be forced to spend time with her."
After a pause, Puck said, "You wouldn't do that."
"I would." Kurt threatened.
"No, because then you'd," Puck pointed at his husband, "have to spend even more time with her. She'd be in our home. Our house would be tainted." After a second, he added, "And she'd bring paparazzi with her, they'd find out who you are and where we live. And if we went out to a restaurant with her, we'd have the paparazzi problem in public."
Kurt frowned, "I don't like that you called my bluff."
"Yeah, well, I don't wanna do that dance." Puck protested.
"But we won an award for it." Kurt threw his arms up, "It's good. One of the best I've made up."
"Yes." Puck agreed. It was a very good dance. One of the best and earliest that Kurt choreographed. "But I don't want to do it in front of people who know me."
"Pussy." Kurt rolled his eyes, "It's a fantastic dance and they won't think you're any less badass. And as it'd be just the two of us, I won't need to bring anyone in and make sure everyone's schedule is clear. It's just easier and more sensible."
"How dare you use logic against me." Puck growled.
"I'm evil like that." Kurt shrugged and gave Puck a quick kiss. "Wanna go have sex?"
"Am I getting sex because I agreed to do that dance? Part of that reaffirming good behavior shit?" Puck asked slowly.
"Yes. Not a problem is it?"
"No. Just wanted to know for certain."
They had practiced for days, remembering the dance moves, making sure they had it down for the kids. Soon enough Kurt had time to show up at glee, walking in with his sunglasses on and a strut in his walk.
Puck never knew what day Kurt would show up, not knowing when he'd have time to make it, so when his husband strolled in he was surprised. "Didn't know you'd be here today."
Taking off his sunglasses with flair, Kurt shrugged minutely, "We ended early today."
"Kids," Puck said, facing them, "this is my friend who I told you about."
"You're supposed to show us a dance." Abby said, stepping forward, "To prove that you are capable of creating choreography that we can use." She raised an eyebrow, "Did you bring people? Or is it just you doing this dance?"
"Noah and I are." Kurt answered, "I do hope that is acceptable." His voice was only slightly sarcastic.
"Yes, yes. Yes." Abby nodded and waved her hand. "So, I think you should get on with it and we can decide and who to hire."
Kurt turned and looked at Puck, "Noah, it sounds like they've already decided they don't want to hire me."
Puck rolled his eyes, "Stop being a drama queen. And let's get this over with."
Nodding Kurt turned to the kids, "Now, this is a dance between two people - as previously stated, so it will be slightly different than a group dance. But you should get the idea that I am The Best Choreographer." And yes, the capital letters could be heard.
Puck and Kurt got into position, Kurt in Puck's arms and as the music started Puck thought back to the first time Kurt suggested this dance. He'd always been against it, but Kurt had talked him into it. He had, of course, remembered the song and didn't approve of the choice. 'What It Feels Like For a Girl' by Madonna? Not something Puck would ever want to sing again let alone dance to. But Kurt fought for the song choice, talking about the irony of it and how it was a subtle genius. And no, Noah, it is not creepy.
And he was right, after all, they did win an award.
Puck led them, having chosen the swing dance for the song. Kurt started singing, his voice light and beautiful. They let the music and the lyrics roll over them as they danced and sang. Then, right before the first run-through of the chorus, Puck began singing and they switched from Kurt dancing the girl's part to Puck.
The exchange was smooth and quick. It fit into the dance as if it was a normal move for a couple to do. A few of the kids gasped, most raised their eyebrows. It had been an intricate move but it was done very subtly. The dance continued, taking turns singing the song and whoever was singing, danced the girl's part. The difference in their voices as they switched was enough to put the kids on the edge of their seats, but with changing the lead and the complicated dance moves they pulled off had the kids wanting more.
When the song faded out, Kurt was in Puck's arms and he whispered that they'd do some more reaffirming good behavior that evening. Puck growled and smirked, smirk still in place as they turned to face the kids.
Abby stood up and started clapping, the others following suit. "That was absolutely amazing. The irony of the song and the switching of the parts was genius." Puck didn't need to look at Kurt to know he would have a smug smile on his face. "You are absolutely amazing. Those were intricate and well done dance moves. I vote that we hire you." She looked around, "You all?"
"I have to say that the dance was the shit." Fay said, smile on her face.
Puck nodded, "We had to practice more than we really needed to. He's fucking fussy."
"Language, Puckerman." Fay scolded.
"You started it." Puck shot back.
Abby clapped her hands, getting everyone's attention back on her, "We need to discuss the contract with Mr.- Actually, we don't know your name."
"Right." Puck nodded, "Everyone, meet my husband. Kurt Hummel."
Silence was heard and Abby's eyes grew large, "K-K-Kurt Hummel? As in-?"
"The Kurt Hummel." Kurt supplied and Puck rolled his eyes. "Now, as I'm The Kurt Hummel, I must add that I am not cheap." Puck snorted and got elbowed in the stomach as a response. "As I was saying, I am not cheap." He shot a glare at Puck, "I will require one dollar from each of you." He paused, "And if you can't afford that," he continued, voice light, "I will cover for you and you can owe me."
Abby looked around, "You want fourteen dollars? And you'll choreograph for us?"
"Yes. I do believe that's what I said. Didn't I just say that Noah?" Kurt turned to Puck, "You were right. She is like Rachel." He scrunched up his nose. "Does she storm out claiming she quit a lot?"
"Thankfully, no." Puck answered. "She also doesn't throw a fit if I give a solo to someone else."
Kurt nodded then turned back to the kids, "Alright. We should write up a contract so that no one can claim you got help in a way that's against the rules. And that I helped simply because of who my husband is."
"Prove you got your cash?" Hank asked.
"Essentially. We don't need to say that I got fourteen dollars, just an undisclosed amount of money." Kurt answered and daintily sat down in a chair. "Is everyone okay with this?"
"You." Abby pointed at Puck, "Why didn't you say that not only did you know The Kurt Hummel but was married to him when I first mentioned him?"
Puck shrugged, "Surprise?"
"One hell of a surprise." Fay said, standing up, "Right. Since we all seem to agree with this-" she paused for protest, but none came, "We should get started before Abby decides she wants to tackle Hummel and get his autograph along with a lock of his hair."