A/N: An entry for the 'Drunk Zexion' contest on deviantart, hosted by the Zexion fan club. This was a fun one. Hope you all enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or it's characters in anyway.

It was an unusually quiet day in The World That Never Was. Zexion sat, curled up, with a good book, in his favorite arm chair.

His peace was disturbed when laughter and obnoxious talking echoed through the library.

Being a curious the creature that he was, Zexion cautiously entered the hallway. He looked for the source of the sound. Sure enough Luxord and a few others were celebrating. Lurxord was throwing one of his 'special' drinking parties.

The Cloaked Schemer approached the reeling group of nobodies.

"Can I join you?" Zexion asked shyly.

Luxord sputtered in response, "No way, you'll cramp our style, besides your not old enough to drink."

"He wouldn't be able to keep the stuff down anyways." Xaldin added. With that the group laughed in his face and continued to parade down the hall.

Zexion huffed. What they had said gotten under his skin. Just because he was younger than them did not mean he couldn't belong with them. For some reason he felt the need to be accepted by them. So he did what any Schemer does best. He formulated a plan.

Zexion hacked up dust as he made his way to the Castle cellars.

"I am so sick of everyone leaving me out and treating me like a baby." He said to no one as he perused the rotting racks of alcohol. "Well, I'll show them." Picking a drink up randomly.

He slowly took a swig of Luxord's rum. Making a disgusted face afterwards. "How can they stand this? It tastes like shoe polish."

"Not that I've ever had shoe polish." He looked around in a paranoid manner. "I hope no one heard that."

An hour and a few bottles of rum later:

Zexion entered the Grey room teetering dangerously.

"Zexion are you alright?" Lexeaus asked. The Silent Hero noted the glazed over look in Zexion's eyes. The Schemer approached a mirror hanging from the bland wall. As he studied himself he shouted "I'm pretty. Wow, I'm even prettier than Marluxia."

"Hey!" the pink-haired man objected from an overstuffed couch.

The Schemer suddenly, to everyone's shock, burst out into a song. "I feel pretty, oh so pretty…."

The Superior entered the room at that particular moment yelling, "What in all of Kingdom Hearts is making that racket? It sounds like some animal dying."

"Nope, it's no animal sir, Zexion got drunk that's all." Said Xaldin

The Schemer proceeded to climb into an air vent. For he was small enough to fit. "Zexion, what are you doing?" Vexen shouted as he made a grab for the intoxicated teen. He got away.

"That's just great." The academic said sourly.

"Now how are we going to get him out?" Demyx asked. For not having a heart he sounded genuinely concerned.

Axel suddenly popped up out of nowhere, "I have an idea!"

"You know how to get him out?" The Musician inquired.

"Nope, but, we can take all of the pictures I just took of our drunk little Schemer and make a nice collage." Axel seemed very pleased as he flipped through the pictures on his digital camera.

Xemnas sighed at his colleagues stupidity. "Let's just help him out of the air vent first. Roxas you go grab him. You're the only nobody besides Zexion small enough to fit."

So, begrudgingly, Roxas went after him as the violet-haired teen delve further in. when Roxas got close enough to touch his boots, Zexion started screaming at the top of his lungs, "You'll never take me alive coppers!"

"Has he been watching TV again?" Xemnas fumed, "You all know how impressionable his young mind can be."

Luckily Roxas was able to pull Zexion out, with Demyx's help. Immediately after Zexion was freed he began to dance around the Grey room. During his clumsy dervish Zexion fell. Lexeaus rushed over to check if he was alright. He gently picked up the teen. "I think I should just take him to his room."

As he carried Zexion through the labyrinth of halls Zexion began to stir.

"Am I one of the big boys now?" Zexion asked slowly.

"Yeah, Zexion, you are one now." The Hero said as he shifted Zexion's position to open his bedroom door.

"Good" He said as he closed his eyes. Lexeaus set him down delicately on his bed. Like a sentinel guarding his post, Lexeaus watched over Zexion the entire night.

The Next Morning:

Zexion lazily opened one eye and groaned, "What happened yesterday?"

The Schemer felt a pounding headache comming on.

"Well," Lexeaus began, when the door to the Schemer's room creaked open. Eleven snickering nobodies peered in at them. For Zexion, this was going to be a very long day.