Warnings: Massive silliness and fourth wall breakage. This takes place a couple of weeks after the sappy happy ending I gave you all.
This is my explanation for why I didn't update in so long, and as to why I finally figured out how to end the story. Also the explanation that I give of myself is what my OC Alaska looks like because dangit I might never get to use her design anywhere else. But it's me so don't be confused. XD Oh man guys, I had SO MUCH FUN writing this!
So I guess me and Antonio were, uh, a 'thing' now. Seriously, what am I supposed to call us? Calling us a couple didn't seem right, and calling us lovers just sounded kind of creepy. So what the fuck were we?
I took my time pondering these deep thoughts as I navigated the large school hallways. Feliciano had gotten involved in the school's theater program and had asked me to drop off some costumes for him in the costume room. Antonio had offered to come with me, but I told him to 'Go get a life.' To which the sappy and cliché bastard responded, 'But Lovi~ you are my life!'
It might be a good idea for me to mention that recently Antonio seemed to be having fun with trying to make my face go redder than it ever had. He was disappointed in telling me that he still couldn't get it any redder than it had been when he had tackled me in the auditorium. I promptly responded to that by punching Antonio in the gut and not speaking to him for TWO WHOLE DAYS. And I only forgave him after that long because my grandfather had begun complaining over the amount of apology tomatoes and flowers Antonio was sending me. Our house still smelled like an Italian kitchen and florist shop.
Wait, where was I going again?...Oh right, the costume room.
When I finally managed to find the damn costume room (really, after going to this school for three years I still couldn't figure out where everything was) nobody was left inside. Luckily someone had left the door unlocked so I kicked it open and began searching for a light while struggling to hold onto the mountain of costumes Feliciano had dumped into my arms.
Aaaaand, let there be light! I breathed a slight sigh of relief. I-I wasn't afraid of the d-dark or anything, but there could b-be some seriously scary shit in the dark! Like…squirrels! That pee in your bed at night! Yea!
What was that?
Ohshitohshit. There was something in the wardrobe. If I recall correctly during a time of absolute panic, the wardrobe was where the theater people kept their really expensive costumes that they didn't want torn.
Why the hell did it sound like someone was walking around in there? It sounded like human footsteps, so it probably wasn't the squirrel…
The wardrobe doors suddenly burst open and I most definitely did not jump back and scream! I stood there like a man and s-slightly cowered behind some clothing racks.
Instead of the expected big burly serial killer I expected to jump out at me, I was staring straight into the eyes of a slightly awkward looking girl with silver hair and really really light blue eyes. Like FREAKY light blue.
After a slight pause, the girl took a look around her and seemingly noticed the wardrobe for the first time. Then, to my shock, she grinned and announced dramatically, "Am I back from Narnia yet?"
Oh great, another crazy.
"What?" I goggled at her.
"Am I back from Narnia yet?" The girl laughed and jumped down from the wardrobe, and immediately sneezed. To my absolute horror she was almost covered in dust. Her face had been spared but her jeans and T-shirt had not been.
"What?" I was incapable of saying anything else. Had this girl been hiding in the wardrobe or something?
"Well I guess a more legitimate question is 'Where am I?' but I find with meeting new people it's more fun to mess with their minds first." The girl announced happily.
"Who the hell are you?" Oh good, finally something else came out of my mouth. The girl looked slightly put out at my question for no apparent reason, but she seemed to quickly shrug it off.
"Um," she scratched her head, looking a bit confused. Great, she probably had brain damage or something. You would think I would know how to deal with people like this by now since I know Antonio. "Well, I guess you can just call me Lumoa…hmmm, yes that works perfectly for now." She nodded to herself. I could almost see the inner dialogue going through her head.
Any other questions that I was going to give this Lumoa were suddenly put on hold as a sudden shrieking noise came from inside the wardrobe. Lumoa turned around sharply, and after staring horrified into the wardrobe she shut it with a snap and began running towards me. I didn't even have time to stumble back before she grabbed my hand and shouted "Run!"
She dragged me right out of the costume room, only pausing to shut the door, and we raced along the hallways of my school. She obviously didn't know where she was going but she continued running, trying to put as much distance between us and the costume room as possible. It was only after she had managed to get out outside that Lumoa stopped and collapsed on the ground, panting.
"The best runner of our time, I am not!" She gasped out. I just continued to stare at the insane person in front of me as she continued speaking. "Sorry about that. The Dust bunnies were coming after us. You see, the plot bunnies opened up a portal for me, but they said it wouldn't be into my universe. Well they are the plot bunnies after all and I guess if they just sent me back home the plot would end so obviously they would send me somewhere interesting. So question is, where did they send me?" Lumoa looked at me expectantly.
"The fuck?" Was all I could come up with. Was this girl really expecting me to believe all that? Maybe it was just Francis and Gilbert pulling a joke on me. They were probably filming this right now, the jack asses.
I began to look around for the two morons and Lumoa scrambled up, following me.
"Did you just cuss at me?" She asked. I rolled my eyes at her and she sulked. "That's not nice."
"I do it to everyone, get used to it." Did she have to keep following me? Jokes over lady, go home!
"Waiiiit~" Lumoa's eyes lit up and she spun me around to face her, "you cuss a lot, and your face…" she smirked and suddenly her hand reached up and y-yanked on t-that curl.
"CHIGI!" I hate that curl. I hate that curl. I hate it so much. Except for when Antonio pulls on- no, no. I hate that curl. I hate, hate, hate it!
"Oh, you're Lovino!" Lumoa looked delighted at her brilliant deduction. "And you're wearing a school uniform. Hmmm. Ohhh~ so that's what the plot bunnies did." She grimaced, "Subtle! Very subtle! I know I haven't updated in forever!" She shouted to the sky.
This girl was even more bat shit crazy than Antonio.
I quickly walked away from bat shit insane girl, but she just continued walking after me. Well, it was a public place so if she tried to kill me there were probably enough people around to come and help me.
"So, Lovino," she eyed me for a moment, "are you having trouble with Antonio still?"
Wh-What the…? This had to be a prank. Who the fuck was pulling it though? My money was still on Gilbert and Francis but even those two probably wouldn't have come up with something this weird. Maybe Lumoa was mentally insane. If I just answer her questions will she go away?
"What? Really?" She seemed surprised by my answer.
"Yes. In fact we're going out now," Was that a better way to describe us? "so that answers your question. Leave."
Lumoa looked spectacularly ignorant of me and she seemed to ponder the fact that Antonio and I were now together.
"How did it happen? I thought he left you for two years after kissing you and didn't even bother trying to contact you afterwards." How the hell did she know all that? I mean sure, (I will never admit this ever again) I acted like a giant baby after Antonio left but still- she seemed so factual about it.
"Yes, he did." I ignored her first question, choosing to answer her second statement as more of a question.
"Well how did he get back in your good graces?" Lumoa prompted.
"I don't know! He just did!" I snapped back.
"But he left you for two years after kissing you and didn't even try to contact you!" Lumoa continued on. Sheesh, this girl was beginning to sound like a broken record. Same stupid thing, over and over.
"Yes, we have reiterated that."
"So~" She looked excited, freakishly excited. I mean, she seriously looked like she was about to start jotting down notes to write a story about this!
"Oh, I don't have any paper on me." She said sadly. I started back for a moment; had I just said that out loud? I was pretty sure I hadn't.
This girl wasn't a mind reader, was she?
No, of course not. That would just be ridicu-"Ridiculous? I know. Does this count as fourth wall breakage? I guess everything I'm doing now kind of counts as that but I'm not completely sure. These plot bunnies and their strange ways- I tell you I have no idea what to do."
By now I was walking as fast as I possibly could in another direction. Mission- get away from crazy psycho girl who could read minds as fast as possible.
"Hey!" Lumoa dashed after me, and I found her suddenly right in front of me. "I'm not THAT crazy! At least I thought I wasn't until the dust bunnies dragged me under the bed and then I began to question my sanity but- hey get back here!" I had dashed off in another direction. But Lumoa kept up with me easily.
"If you tell me what happened, I swear I'll leave you alone!" She begged. I thought about it for a moment, but the idea of telling this creepy person all that had happened between me and Antonio was a bit unsettling.
"Oh come on! I'm not that creepy! And- haha, I just got a few more ideas of what happened between you and Antonio. Mind reading authoress powers for the win!" She cheered.
Get away from the psycho. Get AWAY from the psycho.
"Okay, so I know up to the part where Antonio was kissing you in the nurse's office. But what happened after that?"
Don't think about it. Don't think about the events leading up to that stupid bet. Don't think about what happened. Don't you dare think about the race that Antonio lost but then he-
"Ohhh~ so that's where the whole bet thing comes into play. But Antonio loses? That's not good. What did he do then to make you date him?" Damn this psycho's apparent mind reading powers. And also while I'm at it, damn my incapability to stop thinking about certain events. Oh man, those letters…
"Letters!" Lumoa squeaked, suddenly going into an apparent fangirl mode. Believe me, I know what fangirling looks like. I've seen it enough in Elizabeta and Feliciano.
"Oh my gosh! He wrote you letters! That is so incredibly romantic! That also reminds me of this movie I saw once! That has to be one of the most romantic things ever! So that's how he got you back! Awww~ your just as big a romantic as we make you out to be!" Her entire speech pattern had fallen into what I can only describe as a hyper fangirl's review of some mushy fanfiction.
"This was worth the whole freaky battle between the dust bunnies and the plot bunnies! You know, that sounds like some sort of badly written fanfiction, but it actually happened! See, the dust bunnies like inactivity- you know, dust clogs up all the unused spaces- so they like it when authors leave their fanfictions alone and never finish them. But then of course the plot bunnies NEED stories to big written to thrive. There's actually been this huge war between the two for quite some time! I just got mixed up into it because when I finally dusted off, metaphorically of course, those cogs in my head to finish my story, the dust bunnies freaked!" Lumoa began babbling. I could feel myself grow more confused by the second. Fanfictions? A dust bunny and plot bunny war? The hell?
"And when the plot bunnies came to rescue me it was so epic! I mean those little guys know how to inspire you! But I wasn't quite sure how I wanted to end the story and I guess that's why they sent me here!" Lumoa was now hopping up and down beside me.
"Okay…" Damn. Shouldn't have answered her. Answering them only encourage them to speak more.
Lumoa opened her mouth to begin speaking (please…no more…I beg of you…) but then she paused. Everything about her suddenly changed as she became absolutely still and quiet.
"Do you…do you hear that?"
It took me a couple more moments than her, but I finally did hear something. It was a sort of sluggish, but high pitched keening. Lumoa's eyes widened and she suddenly leaned forward and gave me a quick pat on the back.
"Well I hope the best for you in whatever happens! The dust bunnies are here to keep me away but never fear! I shall finish your story one day!"
And then, I'm not kidding, the fucking weirdo just ran off. She ran quickly around a corner, and after a moment's deliberation, I followed her. However, as soon as I could bring her back into my sight, she was gone. Lumoa had just vanished. Except for…no way.
I leaned down and gently ran my fingers through what looked like to be fine grey dust.
There was no way she had been telling the truth. Dust bunnies? Seriously?
But if she had been. If she had been telling the truth. What exactly did that mean?
"Loviiii~!" Antonio's voice jolted me out of my reverie, and I quickly turned around to glare at him.
"What the hell do you want?"
"A hug!" I was hugged in a sudden tackle by the big oaf that dropped us both to the ground.
"Hey! Watch out for all the…for all the…" I trailed off, forgetting what I had been about to say.
"For all the what, Lovi?" Antonio peered at me curiously, a bit of worried confusion written over his face.
"I don't remember. I think there was something really nasty here but I can't remember what…" I frowned, tapping my fingers against my chin.
"Lovi! Your fingers are all dusty!" Antonio exclaimed. Surprised, I looked down at them.
"Oh yea. Must have gotten them dirty down in that smelly old costume room." I think that was what happened. Must have been. I couldn't really remember what I had done after dropping the costumes off…
"Come on Lovi~ let's go get you cleaned up!" Antonio leaned forward and kissed me. D-Damn…I really couldn't get used to those heart stopping kisses.
"A-Alright." I'm sure whatever I forgot hadn't been that important anyways.
"Haha! Fools! I've already gotten what I need!" Lumoa smirked behind the rust reddened (but surprisingly strong) bars that she had been thrust behind. "I know how to complete the story and do it so adorably that people will go 'Awww!'"
On the other side of the bars, humongous black creatures twisted and turned around, glaring at the girl. Their bodies were in resemblance of huge rabbits that were bone thin and had disgusting dirty claws in their hands and feet.
"Just you wait. The plot bunnies are gonna come back and get you. And when I'm set free, I'll make sure that I complete ALL my stories!" Lumoa threatened. Hisses came from the dust bunnies mouths. One even went forward as if to smack the girl backwards. However, suddenly a great crashing noise came from above and they all went scattering upward, to defend what lay inside the cage.
"You had better believe I'm getting out of here! And one day we'll set free all of the authors and authoresses you've trapped in your catacombs!" Lumoa banged on the bars of her cage on last time before slumping to the ground. But unlike in most stories, where the character has slumped to the ground in defeat, this was a simple slump of rest. After all, the best stories were written when one was well rested and ready for battle.