Disclaimer: I don't even own a Tribble, let alone Star Trek!
It had been five days since the triumphant return of the Enterprise. Plenty of time had passed for the so called "finest members of Starfleet" to take their heads out of their exhaust ports, and actually sort out the mess that Nero had left behind. Five whole days! It was more than enough time, at least in Scotty's opinion. But the incompetence of the admiralty was not Scotty's problem. In fact the whole Nero fiasco absolutely paled in comparison to his issue, and in Scotty's mind now was a perfect time to express his displeasure to the one responsible.
Scotty burst into Admiral Archer's office at the worst possible moment. Archer had just ended a conference call and was about to go on his lunch break. Now he would have to waste his break listening to the ramblings of one of "the hero's of the federation" which wouldn't have been as bad if it had been any other crewmember of the Enterprise; but no it had to be Mr. Scott.
"Mr. Scott, why are you in my office?" Archer asked with thinly veiled hostility. Scotty answered him with an equal amount of anger.
"I'm here, Admiral, because O' the deplorable conditions on tha' miserable little planet tha' you decided ta station me on! I nearly starved ta death! There was barely enough food fer one bein' let alone three!"
"Mr. Scott!" Archer shouted interrupting Scotty's tirade, "There was more than enough food left for you, assuming of course that you took the proper measures; and besides that only two officers were stationed on Delta Vega, you, and officer Keenser".
"Aye, but yer forgetting about the Tribble." Scotty answered, "In order ta have enoug' O' those protein bits, which are gross by the way, we couldn' feed the poor thing."
Admiral Archer looked at Scotty in astonishment. His eyes widened in shock and it took a few seconds for Archer to process what he had heard. Surely he had misunderstood.
"You didn't feed the tribble?" Archer repeated. The Admiral's eyes got wider when Scotty nodded.
"Aye, if we had then It would'a reproduced an' then there wouldn't ha' been enoug' food ta keep ourselves an' all the baby tribbles alive." Scotty answered.
"So you didn't feed the tribble?"
"Aye" Scotty answered.
"And you ate the Protein bits." Archer stated.
"Aye, an' they were gross, an' barely fillin' a' all!" Scotty exclaimed, "In fact they were better suited ta a tribbles diet than a humans!"
By this point Admiral Archer was beyond shocked, His estimate of Scotty's intelligence level had gone down quite a bit, and he was beginning to see how Mr. Scott could have thought it was a good idea to test his transport theories out on his dog. Not that Archer could ever forgive him for that.
"Mr. Scott," Archer took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He failed, "that would be because they were for the tribbles."
Scotty looked outraged. "Than wha' were we suppose' ta eat!" he shouted.
The Admirals response shocked Scotty into silence; and as Scotty backed out of Archer's office, in his head he could still hear Archer's revelation.
"You were supposed to eat the tribbles!"