Oh Romeo!


Summary: The play is production and every high school male is determined to be Romeo. Whether they make it out alive or not.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

So, here's the thing.

Sakura knew all of the boys were disappointed that none of them made the role of Romeo.

Of course it didn't come to a shock to Sakura, seeing as most of them royally fucked up their auditions, except for a select few.

They all seemed so passionate and invested in the opportunity to experience theatre, and since it is a dying profession, Sakura did see it as a shame that all of their dreams were crushed so thoroughly.

So none of them made Romeo, however, some of them did make the play.

Neji made Paris. Naruto made Mercutio. Sasuke made Tybalt.

The rest of the boys were put on backstage duty.

Sakura was pleased. The guys were not.

"Why do I have to play Merkutcheeo anyway?" Naruto whined as he flung the cast list at Iruka's face.

"It's Mercutio Naruto, and you should be happy, you made one of the lead roles in the play." Iruka sighed and rubbed his temples as he sat at his desk, his graded papers quickly forgotten.

"I don't want to be that lead, I want to be the lead!" Naruto jumped up and down and continued to whine relentlessly.

Iruka hated his job.

"Shut up dobe." Sasuke growled and glared at Iruka who attempted to hide his fear from the three men glowering at him with rage.

"Yes Naruto, at least you're not Sakura's cousin in the play." Neji smirked, not completely upset at the the cast list. He was after all Paris, Juliet's handsome intended, despite the final outcome. He would definitely get the closest to her through rehearsals.

"I swear to god Hyuga." Sasuke barked at the good looking brunette standing beside him.

"You suck Iruka sensei!" Naruto complained.

Naruto continued to whine. Sasuke continued to seethe. Neji continued to smirk.

"Aren't you guys so excited for our first rehearsal today?" A sweet, tinkling voice sounded from the doorframe and the earth went still.

Well, not literally, but for the three high schoolers at least.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto screamed in happiness and the blonde launched himself at the unprepared pinkette.

"Oomph," Sakura grunted and felt herself being pushed up against the door fame and into Naruto's warm embrace. "I'm glad you're excited Naruto." Sakura laughed and let herself be assaulted by Naruto's excited hug.

"Sakura-chan I want to be your Romeo, not this Meecusheo dude!" Naruto whimpered into Sakura's shoulder.

"It's Mercutio." Iruka yelled and placed his head on his desk.

Sakura gave Naruto a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I know Naruto, I'm sorry. You rocked your audition."

Bold faced lie. But he didn't need to know that.

"See Iruka-sensei, Sakura-chan thinks I should be Romeo!" Naruto pointed at the fallen teacher, and was abruptly pushed out Sakura's line of sight.

"You're an idiot and she didn't say that." Sasuke huffed and leaned towards Sakura, looking straight into her eyes. "I look forward to working with you." He said huskily and preened in delight at the slight flush that enveloped her cheeks.

"You're becoming more like your disgusting uncle every day Uchiha." Neji's voice was filled with disdain as he lightly grabbed Sakura's arm and dragged her away from Sasuke's roaming gaze.

Sakura couldn't help but snort at that comment.

"Shut up." Sasuke growled and his eyes began tinging red.

"Okay, okay boys calm down." Sakura laughed and placed her hands on their arms. "Congratulations to you Count Paris." Sakura gave a friendly smile to Neji who smirked in response.

"My dear Juliet." Neji's voice rumbled with pleasure as he took her hand in his and gave it a light kiss.

"Always charming." Sakura rolled her beautiful green eyes and shook her head in amusement.

"Well boys I have to get to class, but I'll see you after school!" Sakura gave a whoop of excitement and nearly skipped out of the classroom, leaving her admirers alone once more.

So, none of the boys made Romeo. Who did may you ask?

"I hate you." Itachi hissed in the man's ear. "If you so much as touch one hair on Sakura's head, I will end you."

The man simply stared at Itachi, clearly unimpressed.

"Leave Kimimaro alone Itachi." Iruka yelled at the older Uchiha who was glaring furiously at the man.

"Fuck you man." Kiba grumbled as he swept the set and stared daggers in the thespian's direction.

"I don't see why all of you are so upset." Kimimaro stated cooly, "All of you completely blew your audition, of course you didn't get the part."

"But how the fuck did you get Romeo, yeah?" Diedara complained as he jumped onto the stage. "You're like so boring and have no expression on your face ever, yeah."

"I'm an actor. I act. It's what you do in theatre." The white haired rolled his eyes and continued looking over his lines, purposely ignoring the aggressive stares he was receiving.

"You will never connect with Sakura on the same romantic level as I do." Itachi hissed, refusing to let Kimimaro out of his sights.

"Uchiha-san, perhaps it would be better if you found someone more your age and low IQ level." Kimimaro smirked at Itachi's furious face.

"What did you just say?" Itachi nearly roared, but before he could lunge at the man Kimimaro walked straight past him.

"Sakura." Kimimaro nodded at the pinkette who had just entered the auditorium, her script already indented by her excited grip.

"Oh Romeo, my Romeo!" Sakura laughed happily and flung herself into the white haired man's arms who caught her efortlessly.

They both ignored the cracking of knuckles behind them.

"Congratulations Kimimaro, I feel like this is going to the best play ever." Sakura sung and flung herself around the room in delight.

"Indeed." Kimimaro replied quietly and subtly eyed the cherry blossom's admirers in amusement.

It wasn't fair.

This was Kimimaro. One of the quietest guys at school. A loner. He was brooding and silent and boring.

How on earth did he land this part?

Oh, because he was a badass actor.

The men felt their eyebrows twitch as they watched behind the curtain the casted Romeo recite his lines with perfect pronunciation and flare.

Damn, he was good.

"I'm going to throw up." Madara groaned as he watched the pair recite the party scene lines. "My beautiful, sweet angel is being forced to act with that white haired, pierced, cretin."

"He's talented. It's annoying." Sasori stated, not blinking an eye while the two rehearsed.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted and sulked in his seat while watching the pair rehearse.

"I don't care how good he is, he'll never get Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled and threw his fist in the air in passion.

"Shut up Naruto." Gaara growled, hitting the blonde over the head.

"You guys are all bastards, you don't deserve Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined.

"You talk as if you do." Sasuke rolled his obsidian eyes.

"I do!" Naruto exclaimed and bared his sharp teeth to his best friend.

"Sit down you imbecile." Itachi hissed as he watched with disgust the acting happening before him.

"All you be quiet, you idiots are going to get us all in trouble." Neji whispered fervently, equally as enraged at the casting, but showing a cooler demeanor.

The boys shut up immediately.

"Who the fuck even is this guy?" Kiba murmured, half in anger half in honest curiosity.

"His name is Kimimaro, he's in my History class." Sasori responded with no emotion in his voice.

"What's he like?" Kiba asked, eyeing the white haired actor.

"How should I know? He never talks. I don't see him around anyone. He's a textbook loner." Sasori shrugged.

"What's the deal with this guy? Where did he pop up from, yeah?" Diedara groaned. "It wasn't suppose to be this way, yeah." His groan turned into a whine. "Me and Sakura were supposed to be Romeo and Juliet and fall in love, yeah." The whining continued.

This was hell. Watching the girl every male in the auditorium lusted after, acting with some random guy that no one knew anything about.

It made him much harder to destroy.

"We need to find his weaknesses." Sasuke muttered under his breath as he eyed the man in envy.

"We need to make him regret taking this part." Itachi agreed.

"And then I'll be Romeo and me and Sakura-chan will be together forever!" Naruto cheered.

"Idiot." Gaara growled.

Operation: Make Kimimaro Miserable and Regret Ever Touching Sakura Haruno was a go.

Step One: Put his life in danger

"Kiba do you think you'll be okay working in the catwalks?" Iruka asked the tattooed teenager who was currently lounging in the audience.

"Yeah sure man what do you want me to do?" Kiba popped his head up and looked at the young teacher.

"Go look at the lighting. I'll give you instructions from there." Iruka pointed to the rafters, showing Kiba where he wanted him to go.

"Sick. I'm down." Kiba grinned and jumped up from his seat. He looked at his fellow crew members who gave him a nod in response.

Show time.

"Going to make that fuck-head wish he never stepped foot in this theatre." Kiba whistled low as he made his way up to the catwalks.

"Alright, I'm up here Iruka-sensei now what?" Kiba yelled from the ceiling as he looked at all the chords and switches surrounding him.

"Okay now I want you to flip the green switch on the far right up Kiba!" Iruka yelled back as he focused on the stage.

"Will do boss!" The rebellious teenager responded and switched the light on.

"Alright perfect, now I want you to flip that yellow switch on the same side down. " Iruka said

"Kay, what next?" Kiba flipped the switch down and waited for the next instructions.

"Okay now go to that rope right next to you and pull, but don't pull hard because it might fall on stage!" Iruka emphasized as he watched Kiba maneuver his way to the rope.

Iruka didn't seem to notice Kiba's mischievous grin take over his face.

"Don't worry man I'll be super careful!" Kiba sung and grabbed the rope in his hands.

"Alright now tug that gently Kiba." Iruka instructed and watched as the boy's hands grabbed the rope.

"Like this?" Kiba began pulling the rope.

"Yes, no harder than that!" Iruka nodded and smiled in delight.

"You want harder than that?" Kiba grinned and began pulling the rope with more force.

"No! No Kiba! No harder than that!" Iruka flapped his arms around, oblivious to the thumbs up the boys were giving behind his back.

"Alright I'll go harder!" A laugh escaped Kiba's throat as he pulled down with such great force a metal bar fell straight from the rafters.

Right past Kimimaro.

Heading straight for Sakura.

"Oh my god Sakura watch out!" Iruka yelled as the pinkette looked up in fear.

A pale hand reached out and grabbed her, pulling her away from the object.

It hit the ground hard, making a painfully loud noise.

"Sakura are you okay?" Neji called.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" She responded and looked up at a horror-stricken Inuzuka. "Kiba are you okay?" She called from below.

"Y-yeah." Kiba stuttered, his eyes resembling saucers.

"I'm so glad no one was hurt." Sakura sighed and looked up at her savior.

"Thank you so much Kimimaro. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there to save me." Sakura smiled and hugged the white haired teenager tightly.

Step one: failed

Step Two: Fuck with his mind

"So do you really think you're going to be ready for opening night?" Sasori looked at Kimimaro who was reading over his lines in the audience.

"Yes." Kimimaro replied.

"Are you sure? There's a lot of pressure on you. Everyone will be staring, expecting you to be perfect. It's bound to get to people." Sasori gazed at his classmate calmly.

"Well of course, but I wouldn't have auditioned for the part if I wasn't expecting to work hard." Kimimaro said, not looking at his redheaded companion.

"You're probably going to blow it, yeah." Diedara gave a cheeky grin. "You're going to forget your lines and look like an idiot, and then Sakura will hate you, yeah."

Kimimaro snorted and rolled his eyes, but gave no response.

"A-an-and you'll trip and everyone will laugh at you because you're a loser, yeah!" Diedara stuttered as he continued to think of insults to throw.

"What you're saying is an impossibility. I have been on this stage numerous times and now like the back of my hand. I will memorize my lines. I will know my blocking. Sakura and I will give a spectacular performance, and the two of you imbeciles will continue sitting in the audience longing to be in my place, but forever not being good enough." Kimimaro stared at Sasori and Diedara who were left speechless.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Juliet to get to."

Step two: failed

"Who the fuck is this guy?" Madara growled, "Superman?"

"We've been trying to mess with him all week and nothing is working." Naruto complained. "This guy is going to get Sakura-chan to fall in love with him because he's invincible!"

"He has to have a weakness." Neji mumbled under his breath, "Everyone has a weakness."

"We've already tried to kill him, mess with his head, we fucked with his clothing, and we even slashed his fucking tires so he couldn't come to practice!" Kiba exclaimed, "There is no stopping this guy and if we keep this up we are seriously going to be thrown in juvie!"

"Juvie wasn't so bad." Gaara quietly responded.

Every male chose to ignore that statement.

"Well what should we do? The play is right around the corner and from how things are looking all of us are going to be sitting courtside while Kimimaro and Sakura lip lock eight million fucking times." Sasuke said.

"Where the hell are your friends?" Madara looked towards Sasori, Diedara, and Itachi. "They could really help us out here."

"They're not used to working for what they want. Pain usually has everyone fall into his lap, Hidan is too much of a lazy bum, and Tobi hardly ever knows what's going on." Itachi responded with little interest.

"Shikamaru could really come in handy too." Naruto groaned, "Why does he have to be such a lazy bastard?"

"I guess the final step is just to call for some good ole fashioned threatening, yeah." Diedara grinned and nudged Itachi who smirked in response.

"I guess so."

"Hey Kimimaro!" The boys found him in the hallway, admiring his outfit in the mirror as they all walked up to him.

"Oh, all of you again." Kimimaro rolled his eyes and decided to ignore his fellow schoolmates in favor of looking in the mirror.

"Don't ignore us!" Naruto screamed and pointed at the boys' rival.

"What do you want?" Kimimaro sighed and finally turned his body to face the boys.

"We want to make something clear." Neji said, his eyes hard and serious.

"And what is that?" Kimimaro crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at the men in front of him.

"Sakura is off limits." Itachi growled, his face stern.

Kimimaro scoffed.

"This is not a joke, yeah!" Diedara pointed at the man.

"We have had our sights on her for a long time." Sasori responded.

"Since seventh grade." Sasuke mumbled.

"And you can't just waltz in here and take her away just because you're Romeo." Kiba crossed his arms, a scowl taking over his face.

"All of you are cavemen." Kimimaro hissed and narrowed his eyes.

"Leave Sakura alone." Gaara hissed back, his shackled raised.

You could cut the tension with a knife.

Kimimaro simply stared Sakura's admirers for a few moments, obviously in deep thought.

A few torturous seconds passed.

Finally Kimimaro spoke.

"Not like it's any of your business," Kimimaro spoke slowly and eyed the men in obvious revulsion.

"But Sakura-san and I are not, and will never be, involved in that way."

Silence followed.

"W-what?" Naruto stuttered, his eyes wide.

"B-but you said," Kiba began speaking but Kimimaro cut him off.

"I said nothing concerning Sakura-san and I's involvement, all of you simply made up ludicrous stories." Kimimaro shrugged, "I respect Sakura-san very much but that is all I have for her. She is a talented actress and a respectable individual."

"So, you don't like her like we like her, yeah?" Diedara hesitantly asked.

Kimimaro gave the blonde a hard stare.


"Now if you boys will excuse me, opening night is a week away and I still have work to do." Kimimaro began walking away from the men, but paused momentarily.

"Oh and some advice for all of you," Kimimaro turned his head, "If all of you so desperately want to get Sakura's attention, how about focusing on her instead of me more often. Just a suggestion."

Without another word, Kimimaro walked away leaving all of boys speechless.

As expected, opening night was a success.

Sakura and Kimimaro worked perfectly together and gave such a convincing performance it left the audience star struck.

Iruka couldn't have been happier.

And even the boys didn't interfere with anything.

"I am so exhilarated!" Sakura laughed and hugged Kimimaro tightly in excitement. "You were amazing Kimimaro, I couldn't have asked for a better partner!" Sakura gave a bright smile that left her admirers weak at the knees.

"You were quite incredible yourself Sakura-san." Kimimaro gave a small smile at the pinkette's excitement and let her go.

"Good job Sakura-chan!"

"Very well done Sakura."

"You were a star, love."

"Best Juliet ever, yeah!"

Compliments came from all over.

"Aw stop it guys!" Sakura laughed, but the blush on her face made it obvious she was pleased with her performance. "I'm so glad we all did this. I was so worried that all of you would keep fighting with Kimimaro but I'm so glad everything is okay now." Sakura gave a genuine smile and gave a huge hug to her classmates.

"I feel so much closer to all of you, I hope you all help out with the next play. We could really use the help and talent!"

"If you'll excuse me Sakura-san, I'm going to go find Suigetsu." Kimimaro nodded his head.

"Oh tell him hi for me! We all need to get together sometime!" Kimimaro smiled and nodded his head.


The white haired actor quietly left and was quickly lost in the crowd.

"Who is Suigetsu?" Neji asked, honestly interested.

"Kimimaro's boyfriend, they've been together for nearly three years now." Sakura smiled at the thought of the couple. "They're so in love. Kimimaro is so cute with him."

The boys then decided Kimimaro wasn't so bad after all.