Astoria's Guide to Slytherin Guys

Slytherin boys have more pride than a herd of hippogriffs. Act accordingly.

There was nothing she could do if one considered the circumstances. It was simply too unbelievable, too…hilarious. She had never been one for public laughter, preferring to keep a completely unemotional mask in place most of the time. In that situation, the idea was impossible to execute.

Without an inch of remorse, she cackled loudly, covering her mouth with her thin fingers. Eyes flew to her from all corners of the common room. Her laugh echoed off the dark stone walls.

"Will you desist?" He hissed, scowling. "You're embarrassing."

"Me? Embarrassing? What kind of bloody move was that, Malfoy?" She motioned toward the coffee table between the two couches with another round of laughter. "You must be joking."

He didn't respond, shaking his head.

"She's got you, Draco, just admit defeat and be done with it." A baritone said from his right. Blaise smirked as he leaned back into the cushions. He made a flippant gesture toward the game of Wizard's Chess. "Are you going to say it, Astoria?"

Grinning, Astoria leaned forward just a bit. "I'm ruddy enjoying this, I am. Three years and not once have I been able to beat him. You're off your game tonight, Malfoy, truly." Waving her hand, she made the final call. "Knight to E-Three." Watching with a certain amount of earned arrogance, Astoria made note of the irritation that was welling up in Malfoy's eyes. As soon as the King was destroyed, the Malfoy heir stood, throwing the board into the air with his rage. He was breathing quickly through his nose, like a raging bull.

"Wound your pride, mate? Which hurts more: losing to ickle Greengrass or to a Third Year?" Zabini offered, sounding vaguely amused.

Astoria knew that this time she had severely damaged his conceit and ego. It was a beautiful prize for practicing Wizard Chess as much as she had over the winter holidays. It gave her an enormous amount of satisfaction to see a little humiliation in Draco Malfoy. "Oh, Malfoy, perhaps if you had taken me a bit more seriously, you would've won this match." Crossing her arms, she sat back, getting quite comfortable in front of the hearth. "Too bad, indeed, that you do not have the dignity to admit defeat gracefully."

"I will never admit defeat to you, Greengrass. It was luck and cheating."

"Cheating, was it?" She wondered, raising a brow as he fumed. "Cheating is part of Slytherin Wizard's Chess, if I remember correctly, or am I off my rocker, Zabini?"

"A little of both, I think."

"It doesn't matter. I'll never accept you won that match." He sounded almost petulant, like a child. Men truly were such babies when their self-importance was shattered. "You're nothing but a little girl!"

"And you're nothing but the little boy who lost to this little girl. Good luck fixing you're broken heart, you ickle poof." Smirking at her snide remark, Astoria Greengrass placed her impassive mask back upon her face and stood. Malfoy was slack-jawed and silent, shocked into a stupor. Sensing an opening, she went in for the kill. "Let's play again, sometime, Malfoy. I could always use the practice, yeah? Maybe I can teach you a thing or two."

Side note: When I mention 'act accordingly,' I mean doing whatever you can to shatter that pride. After all, they can't choke to death by swallowing it, right?


A/N: It just hit me and I had to start this series. I know that a few out there might've been waiting for some more Astoria/Draco stuff. Well, jump on board and here we go. This is Astoria's Guide to Slytherin Guys. Trust me, she has a lifetime of knowledge to impart on all the silly little bints out there that think they know how to wrangle in a snake. Leave me some feedback. Until next time!