Disclaimer: I don't own anything that Better Off Ted and its parent companies of ABC and Veridian Dynamics already own. According to the fine print, that apparently includes my soul.

Author's Note: If you haven't seen Better Off Ted, why not? Go watch it. It's brilliant.

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Here at Veridian Dynamics we care about your top secret goverment or corporate conspiracy. That's why we've created Soditol.

A new range of state-of-the-art suicide pills guaranteed to give your spies and assassins an instant- presumably painless- and most importantly silent death.

So when you want someone who works for you dead, make sure to use our top-of-the-range product.

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Because sometimes you've just got to say Soditol.

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