UNFINISHED SYMPHONY MATERIAL
about cary grieving for Laura after melody leaves for California.
DISCLAIMER: me no own vc andrews
"Laura… why? Why'd you have to go? It feels like you were always right here next to me, and that's how it always would be. But I guess not.
"You had to go on that boat with Robert. You had to go and ruin your life with him. Why? Why didn't you listen to me?
"It feels like we would always be little; forever young. That we would always be able to lay by the ocean until we were eaten alive by the mosquitoes.
"Why did you have to go, Laura?
"I've always promised to myself that I'd always love you. And I've never broken that promise.
"I'm sorry, Laura. I don't want you to mistrust me, but I know why you do. I stabbed you in the back; in a figurative sense."
I said all of that in my head, to Laura as I stood over her grave. I let out a heavy sigh and dropped the white roses on the ground by the tombstone.
Laura always loved white roses.
It seems like only a week ago we were sitting in the lobster boats, looking at the stars. I miss those days, Laura. I miss those days when you were still here.
I missed the days when we would play in the rain and pick out seashells. I miss you, Laura.
You meant everything to me, and now, you're buried in the ground that you walked on. It just doesn't seem fair that you're not here.
I felt May tug at my sleeve. "Are we leaving soon?" she signed. We had been here much longer than we had planned. She was probably getting hungry.
"Yeah. Let's go home, now," I answered her.
May didn't understand. She didn't understand how serious this was, losing a sister when she was only 16.
She missed Laura, everyone knew that. But she didn't always know what her not being here meant. She didn't get the concept that Laura was gone and was never coming back.
I patted the top of May's head gently. The sun had made her brown hair feel very hot to the touch. I put my hand on her back instead.
"I'm hungry. Let's go." She pulled on my pants at the knee.
I took one last look back at the grave, at the roses on the ground. They would go bad in a few days.
May practically dragged me home. She was pretty strong for 10 years old.
Walking back home that day, I remembered all the times that Laura and I would walk home from school. It hurt knowing that no matter what I did, I could never bring those days back.
Knowing that no matter how hard I tried, I'd never bring my beloved sister back. My beautiful twin sister…
It's been nearly two years now, and not having Melody here is just making it worse. She was just like Laura, almost an exact copy, but Laura wouldn't run away to California to find her mother.
Laura… she was special. She would always have her ways of making me calm down when I was upset, and she would always know what to say to make me feel better afterwards.
I remember the two of us running out to the ocean during storms, just to test our luck in the hands of danger. And then… she went out during a storm with Robert and… she didn't come back.
I wanted, no, needed those days back. I needed the freedom, the carefree sense that we all had possessed.
But I guess that she died for the better. If she didn't, I probably wouldn't have met Melody, and I wouldn't have fallen in love with her. I guess that in the long-shot, everything happens for a reason.
At home, I skipped out on lunch and just went up to my attic workshop. I had debated many-a-time to run after Melody and follow her to California, but I never had the nerve to do it.
She could leave when she wanted to, she was free. But I had to stay here and keep the lobster business going. Nothing seemed fair anymore.
I looked at my ship collection. There were twenty-some perched on the shelves, a few on the table that I worked on. I got an idea.
I took some of the worthless ones and went down the steps to the back door.
"Where are you going?" Ma asked.
"Don't you want lunch?"
"I'm not hungry." One of the biggest lies of my life.
I went out to the ocean behind the house and set the ships to sail, sending each one out with a message whispering in their sails. "Laura, I'm sorry."
I watched them float away under the dock, out to the open seas, carrying my message to my sister – wherever she was – and to anyone else who might find them.
For my sister, I'd give up my prized possessions, carrying out a message in their wings to her. My little boats.