Fanfic: Can't Rape the Willing
Characters: Bruce/Batman, Jack/Joker, Alfred, Robin (Dick Grayson), Harley Quinn
Summary: It's Batman's birthday, and he wants to get what he's wanted for a long time.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Batman and Joker, along with all other related characters, belong to DC comics and in no way, shape, or form belong to me.

He wakes up to his eyes full of bright sunshine. For a second he couldn't remember why it was that he woke up so early except Alfred stood over him, with a cup of coffee in hand. "Happy Birthday, sir." Bruce rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Thank you, Alfred."
While he sipped his coffee he stood facing the window, contemplating his plan. It wasn't a simple plan or a plan he was proud of, but he had waited long enough. Gotham looked so different in the daytime, he thought. It would almost look like a regular city but for the grim fact that the Joker was still loose.

The night sky looked black and ugly, with great, heavy storm clouds rolling through. The white-washed walls of Arkam stood leering and sinister in the distance. The Joker sneered at what he saw and finished rolling out the packs of dynamite. Harley followed after him, painting little blood-red smiles on the grenades. He has to admit, sometimes she almost impresses him. But for now he ignores her and once again thinks of what it is that he wants to do. Scraps of a scheme float through his head. Send the message beforehand. Make sure it is handed to a citizen that will get it to the police. Wait. Then, when Commissioner Gordon gets handed the note, KABOOM! There goes the police headquarters. Why? Pure boredom, mainly. And the fact that he had overheard one of his goons saying that every single of his advanced notices(not that he always bothered with them, mind you-but sometimes it was the only way to draw out the Bat) went straight to Gordon, no question. And so he wrung his purple leathered hands together and waited in sweet anticipation.

The wind blew across him as he cascaded down onto the building's roof. He knew where it was that the Joker had been hiding for several weeks now, keeping an eye on him. Robin stood waiting.
"You know we could have just thrown you a party."
Batman frowned. "Right." Robin said, and opened the window. They slipped quietly down, sneaking past the goons. This needed to be fast.
A quick search through the rooms. When he heard scuffles outside of a room with a painted red door, he gestured to Robin to stop. He put his hand on the handle. It suddenly swung open, and the Joker-fully involved with his discussion of his plan with Harley-bumped straight into Batman.
Out came the chloroform, swiftly slammed down into his face. His vision slipped and blackened, and his slumped down. Harley screamed. Robin went after her, while Batman quickly dragged the Joker off.

The side of a road on a street picked at random. He didn't have time to remember everything, only that he needed a place secluded that no one would either notice or tell about. He looked over at the gagged and tied-up clown next to him. He lay back in his chair and thought of the conversation that he and Alfred had had earlier.

"You don't need to do this sir. There has to be another way."
"Alfred, I can't wait any longer. If I do there's no telling what it is that I'll-look, if I can handle this, then, it will go away. I need to be in control of the situation. I need to be able to handle myself."
Alfred said nothing, but handed him the items.
"Well, you know yourself better than I do, sir. But there's no telling what this will bring after this. And let's see if you can still handle yourself after you've had your taste of the Devil."

So he sat, with his fists clenched tight around the wheel. He COULD just drive away. He COULD have simply walked out of the car and never have looked back. But he couldn't. Since he was still human, and he was still burning with the hated desire. And he knew he couldn't run away from himself.
The clown's head rolled, and he groaned into the gag. Batman lifted him from the passenger seat the the backseat. He turned his head away from him. He didn't want to see his expression while he did this.
The Batman had been fighting his agonizing yearning for the Joker for years, night after horrible night. But he had made a plan, as always, trying to calculate everything into ones and zeros. This was just a step in the situation. A cold, calculating move made so that he could better his work afterward. So he could ignore every night afterward in which the temptation came, because he had this one time. And he could fight it then.
But for now he looked at the clown in both horror and delight. Ran a black glove over one of the simple orange buttons on his vest. He shook slightly. Because he knew that, willing or not, the Joker would have to face his wrath.
Down came the simple purple slacks, which had probably cost the mob much more than they would have ever admit. Decided to leave the multicolored socks-they wouldn't get in the way. He noted the boxers-they had little clowns on them. Typical.
The Joker shifted again on the black leather, his green hair standing out harshly against the cool material. His eyes flickered open to see...what? A car seat? What was happening here? His head felt fuzzy and disorientated.
The Batman quickly removed the boxers as well, and turned the Joker more on his side. He pulled off the utility belt, and reached into one of its many pockets. Pulled out a simple tube of basic lubricant and...condoms? Really, Alfred?
But no matter. He pulled off his gloves and unscrewed the cap. After pouring a generous amount onto his fingertips he carefully began to coat the outside.
The Joker's consciousness was coming back rapidly. He realized now that there was someone touching him, and he shifted awkwardly. He growled into the gag. Which was the point in which he was bound, and he angrily moved as away as possible. The Batman held him in position as the Joker began to squirm. He said nothing, but waited until he was quiet again.
Something wasn't right about this. It was all too familiar, the Joker thought. He knew this touch. He knew those hands. Who was it?
With most of the preparations done, Batman then lowered his own black briefs and let out a repressed breath. This probably wasn't his smartest idea, but he was out of options. And that was the moment that he slammed into the Joker.
A pain shot through him like a thousand sharp needles. The Joker sucked in rapidly. And suddenly he had a thought-and it didn't leave him alone. What if this was-
He didn't finish his thought as Batman began to move. He groaned against his gag, shaking slightly. But it wasn't completly terrible. This person obviously knew what they were doing, since rapid lightning streaks of pleasure shot through his lower half.
Batman's cape covered them for the most part, and he closed his eyes. He gripped the leather around the Joker tightly, and moved again. He heard a noise and looked down. The Joker's eyes were filmed over. With either pain or pleasure, he didn't care. He retreated just the slightest bit before slamming back into him even harder. He thrust into him hard, and as the sweat dripped down his breath grew heavier. And the Joker closed his heavily lidded eyes and decided that whatever hell he had dropped into now, he didn't mind.
It took several minutes, but when Batman finished he retreated slowly. But the Joker wasn't done. No-he decided he wanted more. He NEEDED more. He turned to look at Batman.
Batman closed his eyes. Here came the questions, the need for explanation. And he was afraid he didn't have such a thing.
"Why didn't you let me participate?"

The Batman opened his eyes in surprise. The Joker sat glaring at him, with an obvious erection still going. Batman moved to quickly dress himself when-"What the hell do you think you're doing, huh? Don't you DARE."
He scooted closer to him. "Untie me,"
Batman contemplated. This was...very much not in his plans. He didn't think that the Joker would have been willing to do this at all, and now this...
He slowly moved to let the ropes down. This very well could be a trap, he thought-he may be planning to kill me right now. But he figured that he may as well give him a chance, seeing what he just did. So he undid the ropes.
The Joker pounced on him.

Several hours later, when Bruce came back into the Batcave, he had the biggest smile on his face. Alfred looked at him indifferent. "I'm assuming that things went according to plan, then sir?"
"Of course they did, Alfred. What did you expect?"