A fanfic by Numbuh 88

(Based on characters created by Tom Warburton)










Numbuh 1 (Nigel Uno)

Numbuh 2 (Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr.)

Numbuh 3 (Kuki Sanban)

Numbuh 4 (Wallabee "Wally" Beatles)

Numbuh 5 (Abigail "Abby" Lincoln)

DCFDTL (Delightful Children From Down the Lane)



(Numbuh 1 is in bed, asleep. When suddenly, outside his window, we see a dim flash of light and the faint sound of an explosion, followed by an eerie whistling. The whistling gets louder and louder until a small missile comes crashing through the ceiling and hits the floor. The missile bursts open and a strange purplish cloud seeps out. The cloud creeps toward the bed Nigel is sleeping in, and engulfs him.)

NUMBUH 1: Uunh... please. That's enough stink bombs for one day, you guys.

(Nigel is completely oblivious to the cloud and sleeps on.)

(The next day...)



(Numbuh 5 approaches the dining table, carrying two bowls and a box of Rainbow Munchies cereal. Numbuh 4 is standing by the toaster on the counter, impatiently tapping his foot. Numbuh 2 enters.)

NUMBUH 4: Aargh! Cruddy toaster! Always has to be so slow! How long does it take to cook a couple of pop tarts?! (He grabs the toaster and shakes it vigorously, then screams, digs his hands into his sides, and then turns to Numbuh 2.) Hey! Numbuh 2! When are you gonna modify the toaster?!

NUMBUH 2: What are you talking about? What's wrong with the toaster?

NUMBUH 4: What's wrong? Every time I grab the stupid thing it almost burns my hands off!


NUMBUH 4: So you should modify it so it doesn't do that!

NUMBUH 2: Well, if you don't wanna burn yourself then don't touch it! I shouldn't have to modify everything around here just because you're too dumb to keep your hands off them when you're supposed to!

NUMBUH 4: Yeesh. Why does everyone think I'm dumb?

NUMBUH 5: Why indeed. Now pipe down, ya'll! (She walks to an intercom on the wall and presses a button.) Hey, Numbuh 3, hurry up! You don't wanna miss breakfast!

NUMBUH 3(Over intercom): I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm just finishing up with my Bad Hair Day Rainbow Monkey.

(Numbuh 5 releases the intercom button and turns to Numbuh 2.)

NUMBUH 5: Now where's Numbuh 1?

NUMBUH 2: Aah, I bet he's still asleep. We had a pretty tough mission yesterday, you know.

NUMBUH 5: Man, why can't Numbuh 5 ever sleep that well?

(Abby turns to the intercom, but Hoagie gestures her to stop.)

NUMBUH 2: No, no, don't call him. I'll go wake him up. (He leaves the kitchen.)


(Numbuh 1 is indeed still asleep. We hear knocking on the door to his bedroom. Numbuh 2 enters and approaches Nigel's bed.)

NUMBUH 2: Hey, Numbuh 1? Numbuh 1! (He grabs the edge of the bed and shakes it. Numbuh 1 wakes up.)

NUMBUH 1: Huh? What? Oh, it's you, Numbuh 2.

NUMBUH 2: Come on, Sleeping Beauty, up and at 'em!

(Numbuh 1 puts on his sunglasses, sits up and shoves the sheets aside, and suddenly realizes he has no clothes on. Nigel immediately covers himself with his sheets and blushes. Numbuh 2 is bewildered.)

NUMBUH 2: Uh, Numbuh 1? Why are you naked?

NUMBUH 1: That's weird, I could've sworn I had my pajamas on. (He steps out of bed wearing the sheets like a towel, and approaches his closet.) Good thing I have plenty of spare clothes in my closet.

(Numbuh 1 opens his closet and both he and Hoagie are shocked at the sight of a purplish cloud floating inside, with the scrapped remains of Nigel's clothes underneath it. The cloud then darts towards Numbuh 2 and engulfs him.)

NUMBUH 2: AAH! Get it off!

(Numbuh 2 runs down the hall screaming "get it off!" and waving his arms, but the cloud is still attached. His screams echo down the hall where we see the doorway to Numbuh 3's room. Numbuh 3 steps out clutching a pink hairbrush and a rainbow monkey with a trendy hairdo.)

NUMBUH 3: What is all the yelling about?!

(Numbuh 2 runs screaming past Numbuh 3, his clothes tattering as the cloud remains attached to him. The cloud suddenly splits and a second cloud then engulfs Kuki, who starts screaming.)


(Numbuhs 4 and 5 are sitting at the table. Abby is eating a bowl of Rainbow Munchies and Wally is eating pop tarts.)

NUMBUH 5: Hey Wally, I just found this rubber rainbow monkey in the cereal box. You want it? Both Kuki and I have the complete set.

(Numbuh 4 sneers at it.)

NUMBUH 4: Is that a trick question?!

(Suddenly, Numbuh 2 rushes screaming into the kitchen, now wearing tattering pants and with the cloud still attached to him. Numbuh 3 follows, also screaming with a cloud attached to her. Her clothes are tattering as the cloud attached to her splits, rushes to the table and splits into two smaller clouds, which engulf Numbuhs 4 and 5. They both scream as their clothes start to tatter. Numbuh 1 then rushes into the room, wearing a pillowcase around his waist.)

NUMBUH 1: Team, it appears we have a whaaa...?

(We now see that Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 are now completely naked, their faces crimson with embarrassment and each one covering themselves with various objects. Hoagie and Wally are using plates, Kuki is using a rainbow monkey, and Abby is using her own hat.)

NUMBUH 1: Clearly, we DO have a serious situation on our hands.

NUMBUH 2: Well, this is just perfect!

NUMBUH 5: Tell me about it. Numbuh 5 just bought that underwear!

(Four small clouds emerge from under the table and merge into one big cloud, and darts down the hallway.)

NUMBUH 1: Don't let that cloud get away!

(The Kids Next Door give chase, while frantically trying to keep themselves covered. When the cloud reaches a four-way crossroad in the hall, it splits into four smaller clouds, each one going in a different direction.)

NUMBUH 1: Kids Next Door, split up!

(Each of the kids go down a different hallway, chasing the smaller clouds.)


(Numbuh 2 rushes into the hangar, still using a plate to cover himself, then sees a smaller cloud enter his closet. We then hear sounds of greedy munching from within. The cloud then emerges from the closet and darts past Hoagie and into the hall. Numbuh 2 resumes chasing it.)


(Numbuh 3 is in her bedroom, now covering herself with a larger stuffed animal, when she hears eating sounds from her closet. The cloud emerges and hovers for a second.)

NUMBUH 3: Oooh... you did NOT just EAT all my DRESSES!

(The cloud rushes off through the doorway into the hall, and Kuki gives chase, angrily snarling.)


(Numbuh 4 is in his bedroom, standing in the wrestling ring and still using a plate as a fig leaf.)

NUMBUH 4: Come on, you cruddy cloud, where are you?!

(We hear guzzling noises in Numbuh 4's closet.)


(The cloud exits the closet and floats through the doorway, and Numbuh 4 follows.)


(Numbuh 5, still covering herself with her hat, is searching for the cloud in her bedroom. She suddenly spots an extra hat on her pool table, so she grabs it and starts waving it around.)

NUMBUH 5: Oh cloouud? Numbuh 5's got a nice, juicy piece o' linen fo' you!

(The cloud comes out of Numbuh 5's closet, and approaches her. The cloud then sniffs the hat Abby is holding and seems to reject it. It then darts away into the hall and Numbuh 5 resumes chasing it.)


(Numbuh 1 is in the mission control room, still using a pillowcase, when suddenly four small clouds come through the door, with Numbuhs 3, 4, and 5 following. The four clouds finally merge into one cloud and belches.)

NUMBUH 1: This is hopeless! How do you catch a cloud?

(Numbuh 2 enters, now wearing a barrel, and brings a vacuum cleaner-like device on wheels.)

NUMBUH 2: With this!

COMPUTER: Kids Next Door V.A.C.C.U.M.: Vacuum Attached Cloud Catching Utility Mechanism

(Numbuh 2 then turns on the V.A.C.C.U.M. which sucks the cloud into the nozzle, through the hose, and into an attached bell-jar.)

NUMBUH 4(Looking into bell-jar): Hah! Not so slippery now, are you?!

NUMBUH 3: Normally, I like clouds, but this one is SO an exception!

NUMBUH 5: Hmm... Still, I wonder why it didn't eat my hat?

NUMBUH 1: Say, Numbuh 2, where'd you get that barrel?

NUMBUH 2: Oh, there's a bunch of 'em back in the armory where I got this V.A.C.C.U.M.

NUMBUH 1: Well, now that we have the cloud we might as well analyze it. But first, Numbuh 2, could you get us some barrels?

(Later in that same room...)

(Numbuhs 1, 2, and 5 are studying the cloud in the belljar. All three of them are now wearing barrels, and Numbuh 5's hat is back on her head.)

NUMBUH 2: Well, as near as I can figure, Numbuh 5, this thing didn't eat your hat 'cause you wear it on your head.

NUMBUH 5: And?

NUMBUH 2: And the cloud only eats clothes that you wear on your body.

NUMBUH 5: Well, that doesn't exactly get us anywhere, does it?

NUMBUH 1: Actually, if it only eats those kind of clothes, that could indicate that this cloud is some sort of weapon of mass humiliation.

NUMBUH 5: But where'd it come from?

(Numbuhs 3 and 4 enter the room, both wearing barrels. Numbuh 4 is carrying the small missile.)

NUMBUH 3: We looked everywhere, but that mean ol' cloud ate every scrap of linen in this tree-house!

NUMBUH 4: But we did find this in your room, Numbuh 1.

NUMBUH 1: A missile? That could be how that cloud got inside the tree-house in the first place.

NUMBUH 4: But it's not gonna tell us where it came from, is it?

NUMBUH 2: Maybe it can. (He takes the missile and puts it into a wired breadbox.) If I can scan it for trace amounts of fuel, and patch it into the town map, (a map of the town appears on the screen.) we can see a remnant of the smoke trail it left behind, and trace it back to its source!

(A flashing red "X" appears on the map. Numbuh 1 immediately recognizes it.)

NUMBUH 1: That's the home of the Delightful Children From Down the Lane!

NUMBUH 5: Man, of all the mean stuff they've pulled on us, this is the meanest yet!

NUMBUH 1: Well, I suppose there's only one thing to do. Kids Next Door, BATTLE STATIONS! Oh, and Numbuh 2, could you send a message to global command and tell them to send us some extra clothes?


(Numbuh 1 and company, still wearing barrels and armed with various weapons, stealthily hurdle the front gate and run towards the front door. They put their backs to the wall while Numbuh 4 approaches the door.)

NUMBUH 1(Whispering): Okay, Numbuh 4, go!

(Numbuh 4 fires his F.R.A.P.P.E. at the front door, creating a layer of ice, and then smashes a hole in with his head. The Kids Next Door enter through the hole and, not surprisingly, the DCFDTL are waiting for them in the hall.)

DCFDTL: Well, well, well, if it isn't the Kids Next Door. A little out of uniform, aren't we?

NUMBUH 1: You don't seem very surprised to see us like this. So you did send that cloud into our tree-house!

DCFDTL: Oh, indeed we did. A successful test if we ever saw one!

NUMBUH 3: What do you mean "test?"

DCFDTL: The cloud that we sent is something we intend to unleash on every Kids Next Door sector in the world! It is a cloud that is specifically designed to eat peoples clothes even when they're wearing them!

NUMBUH 5: But how come it didn't eat Numbuh 5's hat?

DCFDTL: It is not designed to eat headwear, not that we had to design it so. Contrary to what some people think, a naked person wearing a hat is still naked!

NUMBUH 2: But that cloud can't last forever! Everyone knows that any gas or vapor eventually dissipates!

NUMBUH 4: They do?

DCFDTL: Of course they do! But, no matter. By the time the clouds dissipate, they will already have done their damage to all the Kids Next Door sectors, and eventually, the Moon Base! (The floor that the DCFDTL are standing on suddenly raises to reveal a machine with tentacle arms and legs, and a glass dome encloses them.) Obvious, really. If you have no clothes, you have nothing to wear! And if you have nothing to wear, you can't leave your tree-houses! And if you can't leave your tree-houses, you can't get in our way! (They laugh.)

NUMBUH 1: But we DO have something to wear. These barrels!

(The machine's Steel tentacles rip the barrel from Nigel and the rest of the team.)

DCFDTL: Not anymore!

(Nigel drops his weapon, covers himself with his hands and blushes.)

DCFDTL: See? You're all now too embarrassed to even aim your weapons!

NUMBUH 4: Think again, Delightful Dopes!

(Numbuh 1 turns around and is shocked to see that his team are no longer wearing barrels, but are nonetheless aiming their weapons.)


DCFDTL: But... but, you're all naked! Shouldn't you be covering yourselves in shame?!

NUMBUH 5: Nah, Numbuh 5's gotten kinda used to it!

NUMBUH 2: Me too.

NUMBUH 3: Me too.

NUMBUH 4: Me too!

(Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5 fire their weapons in a barrage against the DCFDTL's machine, until it keels over and the dome breaks. Numbuh 2 then produces a new weapon and fires, revealing that it contained the purplish cloud. The cloud then engulfs the Delightful Children.)

DCFDTL: Aaah! No! Stop! Keep back! We created you!

NUMBUH 2: Relax, Delightful Creeps. By my calculations, the cloud should dissipate (he looks at his watch) just about... now!

(The cloud rises and dissipates into thin air, but the DCFDTL are already completely naked. They are hastily covering themselves and their faces are crimson with embarrassment.)

NUMBUH 1: Well, it looks like we're not alone anymore, if you know what I mean!

DCFDTL: Foolish kids next door, we have the device to create more clouds like this, right over there!

(They point to a complex machine at the far wall. But an object hits the machine and an orange liquid spills all over it, causing it to short circuit and explode. Numbuh 4 is revealed to have fired a B.A.J.O.O.K.A.)

NUMBUH 4: Not anymore!

DCFDTL: That was stupid of us.

NUMBUH 1: Well, I suppose that takes care of that!

NUMBUH 3: Yeah, but I oughta send you the bill for all my dresses!

NUMBUH 1: No, Numbuh 3, let's not escalate the matter!

NUMBUH 3: Fine. Pooh.

NUMBUH 1: Kids Next Door, let's go home! And remember, stealth mode!


(Numbuh 1 enters the room, fully clothed.)

NUMBUH 1: Well, I'm glad to see that global command received our call, and these clothes fit perfectly! How are your... Huh? (Nigel suddenly sees the clothes of his team strewn about the floor, and his team standing before him, completely nude.) What in pity's name are you all doing?!

NUMBUH 2: Well, Numbuh 1, it isn't every day we lose our clothes for some reason, and it feels pretty good right now.

NUMBUH 5: Yeah. Can't we just take this ONE moment to get a little crazy?

NUMBUH 3: Yes, and then we'll get dressed, we promise!

NUMBUH 4: Please?

NUMBUH 1(Rolling eyes): *Sigh*... Fine, whatever.

NUMBUHS 2/3/4/5: Yaaay!

NUMBUH 3: Yay! Naked party!

(Nigel looks over, looking annoyed, and someone tosses him a camera.)

NUMBUH 5: Come on, Numbuh 1, take some pictures!

(Numbuh 1 shrugs, holds the camera up to his face and clicks the shutter.)