The Cellar Door: Chapter One
AN: This is one long ass birthday fic to my favorite girl, OCDJen. It's late in coming, but once you see the length of it you'll know why. I had to break it up just to get it halfway readable. It's about eleven chapters with an epilogue, all of it already written.
Thank you to Dilmn8 for pre-reading this fic for me. You are awesome and full of great suggestions. This wouldn't be as good without your help. Also, thanks for help with the summary too.
Characters belong to SM
Annoyed with her I ground out, "Why do you hate him so much?" I was so fucking tired of hearing this. Internally I thought if everyone, meaning my family and friends, would leave me the fuck alone I'd probably have dropped his ass by now. Staying with him out of spite, that's what I was doing. It certainly wasn't love, or even affection. I couldn't even say I trusted or respected him. So why was I still with the guy? Oh, that's right, I was a sucker for blond hair, blue eyes; always had been, always will be. Shoot me now.
Alice looked like she was choosing her words carefully before she spoke, "I don't hate James, Edward. He's just not the best for you."
Rolling my eyes at her I said, "Right..." She hated his guts deep down I knew.
"Look, I don't hate him, but he just isn't right for you. He's using you," Alice's voice came out sure and strong as if she knew that for a fact. Wasn't I doing the same thing?
Snorting at her I shot back, "I'm using him too. Haven't you figured that out by now?"
"Yes," she answered barely above a whisper, looking away from me. Turning back she stared me down, pinning me where I stood and said, "You aren't that person, Edward. You never were before him, so no, I don't like him. He's almost made you someone you aren't."
Sighing at her, I didn't want to continue this argument, it happened far too often to count. "Alice, I know it's not like we are meant to be or anything, but having someone is better than having no one." The look on her face told me she disagreed.
"Edward, I think if you were single you'd be more likely to look for someone better." When her eyes lit up I knew I was in trouble. "I think I know who'd be perfect for you."
"No," I stated with no room for argument, her face fell.
"Won't you reconsider?" she asked me with a small amount of hope left.
"No. The answer is still no," was my reply. Alice drove me nuts sometimes. She was my sister, but as soon as she found out I was gay she automatically wanted to become my fag hag. Most of the time I just wanted to kill her. Don't get me wrong, I had female friends, that were friends because they just were, not a single one of them would I consider a fag hag. Hell, I never thought I needed one, but Alice insisted. Yes, one day I would mow her down if I could.
"Please?" Okay, now she was starting to whine like the little annoying sister I knew her to be.
Sighing I asked, even though I knew it would be bad for my health, "Why?"
The smile that crept across her lips outshone the Cheshire cat's. Now I was worried. Why did I bother to ask? "I think you'd like him, he's blond, blue eyed, beautiful, just like I know you like. He actually looks a lot like James, but I actually like him." Aha, she finally admitted that she didn't like James. I knew it.
In the back of my mind I wondered if it was James' brother, he had a twin. They weren't identical, I knew, but he said they looked a lot alike. I never knew his name. I'd never met any of James' relatives for that matter. That was one reason I didn't trust him. He just said they weren't on speaking terms anymore, but I knew for a fact that he was living with his brother before James moved in with me. Well no, not moved in, infiltrated. I never asked him to move in, it just gradually happened, until one day he no longer went home. Sometimes I wondered how the hell that happened, how did he end up in my house? There was no excuse for that, I would never have allowed it before. It almost seemed like I just didn't give a shit, maybe I didn't. James was easy, no emotional connection. He was not someone I would have sought out for that fact alone, but my previous serious boyfriend was so emotional that I thought I had whiplash. I couldn't take anymore of that, so I sought out the person furthest removed from it, James. That worked for a while. Now though... the only reason I was still with him was his looks, so sue me. The sex wasn't even good enough for me to stick around, but I did. Or at least the sex wasn't good anymore, either that or I was over any kind of lust I'd ever felt towards him. We hadn't been fucking for a while. It was official, the more I thought about my relationship with James, the more I thought I'd lost my fucking mind.
At some point Alice had begun talking again; not only did I not hear it, I didn't even hear the drone of her voice in the background. When I tuned back in again I heard her say, "... but you probably should know he still has a boyfriend right now that he tells me he's madly in love with." What? Then why was she trying to set me up with this person?
"Alice," I practically growled out her name, "why are you wanting to set me up with someone that is already happily dating?" Crossing my arms I glared at her, daring her to give me a good reason.
"I think if you just met him that you'd hit it off," she defended.
"So Alice, what you are saying is you want me to meet this person and basically both of us to cheat to be together?" Raising my brows in disbelief at her I willed her to deny it.
"No, but I think if you knew there was someone better out there you'd get rid of James. Besides, I just want you to meet him. I don't think he'd be able to date someone else for a while, even if he left that guy. They are pretty serious," she responded. Groaning in irritation, I turned and headed for the door.
"Where the fuck are you going, Edward? I wasn't done talking," Alice demanded.
"Home, where I belong, not the twilight zone," I told her, turning the door handle. Shaking my head at Alice, I mumbled to myself, "I can't believe she is encouraging this."
Finally managing to pull the door open I called out, "Don't talk to me, Alice, until you've come to your senses."
Huffing at me, I distinctly heard a muttered, "You need to come to your senses." I slammed the door behind me.
Fucking Alice, why couldn't she and everyone else leave me the fuck alone? It wasn't like I didn't already know I was screwing up, I did. Pulling the keys out of my pocket I clicked the unlock button, or thought I did. In my frustration, I apparently hit the panic button. Damn it. For some reason I thought kicking the tire would make me feel better; it didn't, of course. The blaring beeps were still going and I was still pissed off. The only thing it did was hurt my toe. Wearing flip flops and kicking things weren't in the best interest of my feet, I thought I broke my big toe. Hopping on one foot and still unable to hit the right button to turn the noise off I was sure people thought I was insane. Well, what the fuck did they know? Everyone had a bad day every now and then, and apparently this was going to be mine.
As the intense pain started to subside I was able to stop hopping and hit the correct button for my car. When I was finally settled into the driver's seat and turned the car on I realized my toe still hurt. Hmmm... here I thought I might just be overreacting. Well, hell, it was my right big toe, that's just great. Pushing down on the pedal with my right foot was painful. Sitting there I debated getting Alice to take me home, but I really didn't want to hear anymore from her. Deciding I'd just wait it out a few more minutes and then just drive carefully home, I leaned my head back on the headrest waiting for the throbbing to lessen.
Putting the key into the ignition I could see Alice peeking through the curtain of her window. From here it looked like she was laughing at me, she probably was. I had to get out of there. Turning the car on I began to pull out, not paying attention and nearly hit someone, shit. Pull yourself together, man, or get Alice. Blowing out my breath I tried to pay more attention and drove home. My house, fortunately, wasn't too far from Alice's.
When I pulled into the driveway I opened the garage door. James' car was there too. He shouldn't be home, he told me he wouldn't be anyway. His car didn't look like it had moved all damn day. Whatever, I didn't care, today was already fucked up.
Walking carefully to the door that opened into the kitchen I called out, "James?"
"In here," he replied from the direction of the living room.
Before I had a chance to ask him why he was home, he asked, "Did you have a good time with Alice?"
Rounding the corner, still limping, I bit out, "No."
"Dude, what's wrong with you? Why are you walking like that?" Honestly, I didn't think he cared. This was a diversion tactic, one I'd seen him use before; sound nice and concerned, when really he was just trying to cover something up.
"I think I broke my big toe," I answered. The whole time I was standing there I realized I didn't care what he was hiding from me. That was just another clue that he needed to go, I was just being an idiot.
"Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" James asked teasingly. No, I didn't want him to touch me right now. I was sure I was radiating anger, even though I was mostly angry with myself.
Shaking my head no, I sat down on the couch beside him. I only sat down to get off my foot, not to be close to him, but he took it that way. Slipping out of the ridiculous shoes I put my feet on the couch. James picked the hurt foot up and actually kissed that toe. Narrowing my eyes at him, I was suspicious. He just didn't do things like that.
"Why are you home? I thought you were going to meet with friends today?" I asked attempting to take my foot back, he only held on tighter. In the back of my head I wished he'd let go, I didn't like touching feet or people touching mine. No one would ever accuse me of having a foot fetish, they were disgusting, even well cared for ones. Feet were there for one reason and one reason only: to walk from one place to another, that's it.
"Um... I did. They came and picked me up. I haven't been home that long." he answered, but he had a guilty look on his face and his eyes would never settle on me. Yeah, no reason to be suspicious, none at all.
"Okay," was my brilliant reply. "Listen, I'm going to take a shower. Maybe it will make me feel better." Mostly I wanted to get away from him. Huh, I wanted to get away from everyone. That made me wonder if it wasn't everyone else, if it was me that had the problem.
"All right," he said letting my foot go. Ambling towards the bathroom I stripped out of my clothes along the way, leaving them where they landed, knowing I was still going to have to pick them up later. What difference did it make? Now or later, it'd get done.
Stepping into the shower I turned on the water and waited until it heated up to stand beneath the spray. The warm water relaxed my muscles and cleansed my frustration of the day away. This was the best I'd felt all damn day, even if I still wasn't putting all my weight on my stupid toe.
Getting out I decided on just putting on a pair of pajama pants, even though it was still the middle of the afternoon. As bad as this day had been so far, I was not stepping foot out of this house.
Rummaging through the bathroom drawers I found tape for my still throbbing toe, so it wouldn't hurt as much, maybe. The lesson here was don't hit, well, kick, things just because you want to; it will only make it worse when you feel pain from it later.
Walking back into the living room I sat back down on the couch. James hadn't moved an inch as far as I could tell, lazy ass. Oh right, Edward, like you don't want to do the same thing right now. You are a fucking hypocrite. That's right, I was. Somehow I thought I was entitled to it though, this was my house, mine, not his. Most of the time I felt like he was a loafer I couldn't get rid of, or a roommate I never wanted, not a boyfriend.
"Feeling better?" he asked me. Well, apparently I was physically better, but I still needed an attitude adjustment, big time.
"Yeah, fine," I told him leaning my head back and closing my eyes.
Feeling a hand on my thigh, my eyes popped open to find his face inches from my own. Great, I'd have to pretend I liked whatever happened next when I wouldn't. Seriously, sometimes he made me wonder if I was even gay anymore, which was idiotic, I knew I was. We hadn't had sex at all in the last couple of months. I mean we did everything, except penetration, which was weird. We'd never had a problem with it before, so I didn't even know why that stopped.
James' lips pressed against mine and I kissed him back without even thinking. He pulled me onto his lap and I wondered what the hell he wanted this time. My body became a traitor and responded to him, and I thrust my hips against him feeling both of our hard cocks against each others.
Moaning into his mouth, my hands moved of their own volition to tug his shirt off. Throwing it over my shoulder, I reattached my lips to his. Now that I was here, I couldn't stop myself.
Pushing me away from him roughly, he growled out, "Suck my dick." Inside, I could feel the disgust coming on and moved off him onto the floor, leaving my pants on, so it wouldn't be as obvious that I was losing my erection. He had already undone his jeans as I slid to the floor and was hurriedly pulling them and his boxers down and scooting his ass to the edge of the couch. The groan that came out of my mouth he probably thought was at seeing him naked, it wasn't. He was beautiful, that wasn't my problem with him, but damn, he was rough and not in a good or erotic way. I already knew what was coming and knew I wouldn't like it. Getting him off as quickly as possible would be the best way to get this over with. Sucking him off shouldn't be a chore, it never had been with anyone else, just him, only him. I couldn't help but resent him because of it.
Tentatively I licked the head of his cock and then leaned back biting my lip and looking at him. "Am I doing this right?" I asked, the whole point of this being he got off the fastest to me pretending like I'd never sucked someone's dick before. Well shit, there wasn't really any reason to me having ever learned anything with anyone else, totally and utterly pointless.
"You're doing just fine, babe," he replied while fisting my hair in his hands and practically shoving my head back down on his hard cock. Great, now the part I really hated. Fucking hell, what the fuck was I doing? I could tell him no. I could kick him out finally, but I did neither of these things.
Enveloping him in my mouth I didn't even have to move my own head. No, nope, he did it for me, ass. He was fast and rough, thrusting his dick in my mouth and holding my head in his hands shoving it down hard at the same time. I tried my hardest not to gag, well no, not gag, that was a given, but not to actually puke on him. The gagging went along with his whole first time fetish thing and I knew it would make this end faster. This wasn't the first time I wondered if he was like that with other people and what they thought about it.
Wanting nothing more than to get this act over with as quickly as possible I moved one hand from his thigh that had been keeping my balance and swiped some of the saliva that had pooled in my mouth and was sliding down my chin. Gross I know, but I really had no way of swallowing anything at the moment, at least not unless he slowed down, which he wouldn't. Using the wet digits I circled his anus and pushed a finger inside. Yep, that did it. I didn't get very far or do very much before he came in my mouth and damn if I didn't choke on his cum, dumb ass. It was preferable to actually swallow that shit than choke and sputter on it, but with him there was just no way that would ever happen.
Sitting back on my heels I reached for James' shirt that had been thrown behind me. Using that I wiped what cum I didn't swallow away. Looking at the shirt in my head I could feel rage start to boil over and threw the shirt at him before standing up. If I didn't get out of this room right now I was going to end up being physically violent.
Catching the shirt James looked up at me and said completely calm, "Thanks, babe." What? Kicking his teeth in right about now sounded great. Why didn't I just bite him when he was in my mouth before? You wouldn't bite him there and you know it, that shit hurts like a motherfucking bitch.
Turning away from him I began walking back to the bedroom and was about halfway there before James called, "Edward?" Knowing I shouldn't I turned to face him and he asked, "Can you get me a beer before you go in there?"
White hot rage erupted from me and I yelled, "Get yourself your own damn beer, asshole!" Okay, so maybe that was a tad dramatic, but it felt good as I'd already decided against physical violence. He looked at me dumbfounded and I realized this was the first time I had ever actually yelled at him, or even fought with him. Why today? Oh, that's right, Alice.
Slamming the bedroom door once I'd reached it, I locked it and paced the floor. This was my own damn fault. I didn't have to put up with this. After a while I finally calmed down and sat on the bed. It was then that I realized James didn't even bother to try to reciprocate, selfish bastard. I might use the excuse that he felt my anger and that's why he didn't, but no, no more excuses. He was selfish far too often for me to even consider that.
Lying in bed I came to the conclusion that James must go. He was pretty and that's about it, hell, I had plenty of pictures of pretty boys to jerk off to and I was positive that if it came down to it I'd have no trouble picking someone up. There were a lot of hot guys out there, even blond ones, that I could fuck and leave. Yeah, right now one night stands were sounding better and better.
All right, now how the hell do I get rid of him? That's easier said than done, especially while he was still living in my house. Deciding I was too drained to think on it anymore I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. This could wait until tomorrow, hopefully he'd royally fuck up and I'd have a great excuse to remove him from my life. Why do you need an excuse? You'd don't like him, get rid of him, idiot.