Realizations

"Bella, come take a walk with me." I said. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. I was breaking my loves heart- not to mention my own- by leaving her. I knew it was going to be excruciatingly hard to do, but I had to. The other night, with Jasper, made me realize that I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't keep risking Bella's life for my own selfish gain. I loved her more than the entire universe, and that is why I had to protect her from my demons.

I waved my hand, beckoning her to follow me. I led her about fifteen feet into the woods, and then I turned towards her.

"Bella, we're leaving." I said the words harshly and fast, hating the way they made my tongue sting as they left my mouth. Her face twisted with confusion.

"Well, okay… What should I tell Charlie?" She asked. I just stared at her, begging her to understand. After a moment, intuition flashed across her face. Then it went blank. She looked away.

"W-when you say "we"…" She trailed off, her voice breaking.

"I mean my family and myself." I could feel my cold dead heart slowly being ripped from my ice-hard chest as I said the words.

Once again, her face twisted, this time in pain. I could hear her heartbeat speed up and she looked back at me. Tears were brimming in her eyes.

"Why?" She asked her voice very quiet.

"Carlisle is supposed to be 10 years older than he looks. People are starting to notice." I answered.

"What does that have to do with us? Why do you have to leave without me?" Her voice was still very quiet, and she wouldn't look at me, staring at the ground.

I wanted to take her into my arms and kiss away all her tears when suddenly, I was no longer seeing the sad scene playing out in front of me but a jumble of others. All of them contained Bella in a catatonic state, almost as if she were a living zombie. She wasn't eating, she was having horrible nightmares, and her grades were slipping. She wasn't herself.

After a moment, I realized the source of the hallucinations. Alice was close, and I was seeing her visions. They were of the time when I would have left Bella. She was only a shell of she could be in the visions, that was obvious. Then I heard Alice's thoughts.

Edward, you can't do this. These are the mildest of the visions I've been having lately. I've also seen visions of you. You were going to leave Bella, and us. Our family. Everyone missed you terribly, even Rosalie. Emmett would never smile, Esme wouldn't be her usual cheery self, and Carlisle always seemed upset. We wouldn't from you for months. It was tearing the family apart.

I couldn't go through with it.

I rushed forward, picking Bella up and crushing her to my chest. She was surprised, but she soon clamped her arms and legs around me tightly, holding herself to me.

"What are you doing?" She asked sadly.

"I was making a huge mistake… but now I'm making it right." I pulled back from her embrace and I crushed my lips to hers. As usual, she wound her fingers in my hair, but this time I didn't pull back. She was slowly crossing all of my carefully drawn lines and I didn't care.

Eventually, she pulled back to breathe, and I hugged her to me again.

"What does this mean? Are you not leaving?" She asked, gasping a little. Then I went and told her everything, how I had been planning on leaving her under the pretense of not loving her anymore. I assured her that it was only a lie, only planning on using it in hopes of it making her believe me.

The whole lie was to protect her from my world. But it had never occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, she belonged in my world.

Alice, being the bubbly person she is, raced to tell Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper that we wouldn't be leaving.

And I learned something very important from this mess:

No matter our differences, Bella and I belong together. Forever.

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