Wizards of Waverly Place/1984


Part Three

It was two days since that night, and the day before the Placement Exam. The entire group was on edge, for they knew that the assault on the Party was to take place in four days, and were nervous for the threat of the possibly non-existent Thought Police, the man behind the general ouline of the body at the well decorated desk, and the thought of challenging an entire society that wants them dead. This message is brought to you by the Ministry of Introductions. All hail Big Brother!

Alex was preparing to leave for the school unit where she and Derrek would subdue the professor to magic, and steal the key to the safe containing the answer document to the Placement Exam. She ate a Victory Donut as Jerry walked in carrying a huge box full of candles, or #6748. Jerry, not the huge box, the candles, or the donut, for donuts, candles and huge boxes don't have numbers as instituted by the Ministry of Numbers. All hail Big Brother! And the Ministry of Numbers. "Ha, look at all these candles I got for the Party's annual Festival of Candles! This year we're mourning the loss of the short lived Department of Recollections, a division of the Ministry of Introductions."

"What does the Ministry of Introductions do?" Asked Alex.

"-Ya I don't know." Answered Jerry (sorta).

"Dad the Party's gonna be gone by the annual Festival of Candles. And if not they'll be mourning the loss of us. I've got to go to meet Derrek and arrive at the school unit half an hour early in order to subject..."


"Subdue, the teacher to magic to get the key to the safe containing the answer document to the Placement Exam and intercept the Inner Party." Continued Alex.

"Wait, oh ya the plan. What do I have to do?" Asked Jerry.

"Just get something sharp and be ready to be transported to the most powerful being in this society at any moment." Answered Alex lighting a Victory Cigar.

"Okay, I'll get a book with sharp corner." Said Jerry.

"It'll have to do."

"Ha, are you ready for operation D.E.A.T.H O.F T.H.E P.A.R.T.Y?" Asked Justin.

"What does that stand for?" Asked Jerry.

"It stands for shut up!" Yelled Alex.

"You don't have to yell! I don't have a hearing disorder!"

Coulda fooled me you twit!"

"Shut up you idiots!" Yelled Justin.

"Ha! Be quiet!" Yelled Theresa throwing over the table. "Why aren't you meeting Derrek to arrive..."

"We know the plan!" Yelled Jerry. "Now excuse me while I ready these candles for the Festival of Candles."

"That's not for 17 months!" Yelled Theresa, or #6822. A month in 1984 is only about 25 days, so 17 days is still longer than a ye.. The transmission broke up. Now get the key to the safe containing the answer document to the Placement Exam, and start intercepting that Inner Party!"

"Yes ma'am!" Yelled Alex before running, hitting the wall and running out the door.

"That girl's really dumb." Said Justin drinking liquid fire from a straw. Liquid fire is a liquid substance with all the properties of fire, but that's a whole other crossover.

"Don't insult your sister!" Yelled Theresa.

"You're not my real mother!" Yelled Justin in response.

"Oh boy." Said Jerry, remembering he lost his candle carrying licence last year.

At the top secret rendezvous (Derrek's house) Alex knocked three times on the door, the secret code so no one but Derrek would answer. Derrek's father, O'Brien, then answered the door. Hello, Alex, my son Derrek has told me much about you. Not really. I have never heard of you before. My guessing your name was quite unrealistic. Hello, none the less." Said O'Brien giving her the Vulcan peace sign.

"Ya, is Derrek here. We planned to arrive at the school unit thirty minutes early. For reasons that I will not disclose to you."

"Okay I'll get him. Derrek!" Yelled O'Brien. "He's comin'. Want a drink? Milk, tea, rum?"

"Water?" Asked Alex.

"Sorry, all I got is rum. Want hard, or extra hard?"

"Hi Derrek." Said Alex.

"Ha Alex."

"Ha son, want some rum?"

"No thanks father. We've got to get going to the school unit. Have a nice day."

"Na, I only allow myself one good day a week, and I already had it. Oh, ugh!" Yelled O'Brien walking into his house grabbing his aching arm."

"-So, ready to subject..."


"Subdue, teacher to magic."

"Ya, then we're gonna intercept that Inner Party so hard. Ha ha."

"Ya let's go." Said Alex running and getting hit by a car. "Oh, I need some rum." O'Brien then ran out of the house carrying three containers of the hardest rum in the Community.

At the local store, the other six were purchasing sharp things for which to attack the outline with. "Ooh, a butter knife! Yelled Julia. "This'll cut the head right off that outline."

"Look, a cork screw." Said Theresa. "This will take his head off like a, cork on a bottle."

"Will you all shut up?" Yelled Justin. "Do you want everyone to hear us?" The entire store and everything visible around it had no trace of life, human or plant. Within the store there was sand on the tile floor.

"Ha, what if I took a newspaper, and paper cut him to death?" Asked Winston.

"Then you'd be the stupidest person in the world." Answered Syme.

"Oh, good thing it was hypothetical." Responded Winston, taking a news paper.

"Ha, got a book, hardcover." Said Jerry. Where's yer books?"

"We don't, ah forget it." Said Theresa, or #6822.

At the school unit, the professor was sitting at her desk putting on perfume that makes you smell worse. "Ah, essence of despair."

"Ha you loser!" Yelled Alex hitting her with a bat and knocking her unconcious. "I got the key, come on associate."

Derrek then walked in with his hands in his pockets. "My name is Derrek. Ha you got the key! Let's get to that safe."

"Ya!" Said Alex. At the safe, there were no guards, so it was easily opened. "Wow, every answer is answer C."

"Even the short answer questions!" Yelled Derrek.

"This can't be right. It's a scam!" Yelled Alex.

Two days later, at the Office of Placement, the two sat at a desk, talking to Principal Newborn. "Students, welcome to Inner Party!" He yelled firing off a firecracker and setting the office on fire. "Here's your membership cards and coupon books. Now get out there!" He yelled as they left and the roof collapsed in him.

That night at the house, the eight were meeting, for the assault was to go down the day after tomorrow. "Okay, we've all got our sharp objects, we've got a ticket into the Inner Party, we're in." Said Jerry Enthusiastically.

"Not quite, we still need to get into audience with Big Brother." Responded Alex.

"I got it all worked out." Said Derrek. "We just take in this blue print, and present it to Inner Party. They'll let us in."

"What's on it?" Asked Julia.

"Nothing, but they'll do anything to find that out, even let us in to see Big Brother."

"Okay, in two days, Big Brother goes down!" Said Winston, batting his hand with a newspaper.

"Ha! Let me in!" Yelled a voice from outside. They recognized the voice as O'Brien's. They figured that he was on to them.

"Okay, hold on." Said Jerry. "Theresa, over here." He whispered as he opened the door.

"I knew I..." Said O'Brien as Theresa hit him with a bat. He was then tied up and placed into the basement.

"We've only got 24 hours before the Party finds us. We have to act, tomorrow." Said Justin.

"-Okay" said Syme sipping a cup of Victory Tea. "Gross."

The next day, Alex and Derrek were at the Hall of the Inner Party, where everyone sat around telling vulgar jokes. "So I said, food can't have numbers. As instituted by the Ministry of Numbers! Ha ha ha!" Said some Inner Party idiot.

"Here is your pass, and enjoy your visit." Said the Inner Party member who has access to Big Brother.

The fitness session had been over for eleven minutes now. Within a few moments, the entire police force would be at the Hall of Screens, and away from Big Brother. Alex and Derrek stood at the door, the door that led to the red wall papered room, with one desk, well decorated, with a dark outline sitting at it. They prepared to go in. "I hope that everyone's ready. I hope dad's not doing a stupid candle dance again." Said Alex.

"Doubt it, let's go in!" Yelled Derrek. They then took the key card and opened the door. By now the police force was looking all over the empty studio, with no Fitness Instructor, and no Screen Monitor, the city was in turmoil.

In the chamber, Alex stood ready with her wand. "Family, here!" She yelled as she did the spell. The whole family appeared, Jerry with a black robe on with red stars, holding a candle above his head.

"Oh, I was wrong." Said Derrek.

"Wa!" Yelled Jerry holding a book in the air."

"Ya, aah!" Yelled Winston waving a newspaper.

"I knew it." Said Syme.

"Shut up you idiots!" Yelled the outline, stepping out of the shadows, revealing his true identity.

"It's O'Brien!" Yelled Theresa.

"Dad!" Yelled Justin.

"Ha, he's my dad." Said Derrek.

"How can this be?" Asked Alex.

"He's tied up in our basement." Said Julia. "Our, referring to the team.

"Ha, shut up." Said Fitness Instructor.

"Ugh!" Yelled Screen Monitor.

"I am not O'Brien! I am Big Brother! I have assumed the image of O'Brian, to hide my real identity. And now, you will all perish!" He yelled, doing nothing.

"How? The police are gone, you have no weapons." Said Justin.

"Ah, but you are wrong! About the weapons. Ya!" He yelled attacking them with a sword.

"Ya!" Yelled Jerry hitting away the sword with a book.

"Ah man." Said Big Brother.

"Now, time to see your real identity." Said Justin hitting his mask off with a knife, revealing Justin's face.

"Justin!" Yelled everyone.

"Ya!" Yelled Winston cutting him with a newspaper.

"Ah! It's not me!"

"Ra!" Yelled Theresa hitting him, throwing off the mask, revealing a monkey's face.

"I do not understand this." Said Alex.

"See you losers!&" Yelled Big Brother running to the door, but it was locked. "No! You can't, hello, hu?" He said before Justin pressed the button, setting off the bomb, and blowing up the chamber which they had already exited. Big Brother was dead, and the Party was in ruins. There was no one to spark fear into the people, and Jerry brought the world back to normal, at least this town.

Three years later, the town looked just like New York City now, and the family was sitting in their home with the remaining members of the team. Fitness Instructor and Screen Monitor had moved far away to find other societies across the world, Syme had been terminated, as ordered by Jerry, and Justin had died falling off the roof while putting on a satellite dish. The others sat around, eating cake. "I would like to propose a toast." Said Winston. "Three years ago today, we took down the Party, and to my new bride, Julia." Everyone cheered.

"Well, none of this ever would've happened, if not for Derrek." Said Alex.

"What'd he do?" Asked Theresa.

"Shut up! At least I was there."

"We were all there you idiot!" Said Jerry

"Well, the world's finally back to normal. But it has been for a long time, why would I say it now? Hu." Said Alex.

The door to the basement then opened, it was O'Brien. He had been down there the whole time. "Ah!" He said hitting Derrek and walking out of the house. The whole family was silent.

Jerry then spoke, "Who's he?" He asked.

So the family lived in the normal world from that day on. The Party had long since been forgotten, and the identity of Big Brother remained a mystery forever. Very few had ever seen him, no one besides the group actually, so it was never discovered. The group went on to live each day, remembering that day that the Party was finally destroyed with all of its traditions, except of course the Festival of Candles. The End. This record is brought ot you by the Ministry of Records, who were allowed to remain in service, by the advice of Jerry, for this recording only, or #6748. Jerry, not this recording, for recording don't have numbers, as instituted by the Ministry of Numbers. All hail Big Brother! And the Ministry of Numbers. So, with this record now finished, they are now obso...