This will be a bunch of rambles, drabbles, stories that I started and don't plan on finishing, etc. There will be slash, femmeslash, canon and non-canon couples. At the beginning of each chapter, I'll post the pairing so you'll know what you're getting yourself into ;-)
None of these will be beta'd unless coachlady1 feels like it.
This was a story I planned on writing but am too lazy/busy/brain blocked to finish. This was supposed to be the first chapter, but alas, it's now the only chapter. Enjoy!
Pairing: Jasper & Alice... kind of Bella...
Jasper lay in bed with his wife, his mate, his beloved Alice. For some reason unknown to him, Alice had been acting strange, distant even, for the past few weeks. He felt helpless in his quest to help her, for she refused any emotional stability he could offer. She kept up the ruse of being a happy couple in front of the rest of the family. Jasper relished those times, when he was free to touch, caress... hold his wife. But when they were alone, Jasper truly felt... alone.
Alice briskly dismissed him when asked about the conflicting feelings she projected and spurned any act of intimacy that Jasper initiated. They hadn't even so much as kissed for seven weeks. Jasper tried anything he could think of to make Alice happy, anything to bring a smile to his love's face. Alice hadn't truly smiled for some time now. Sure, she'd smile when around others, but it never reached her eyes. Her eyes, once alluring and full of life, were now void and desolate. It broke Jasper's frozen heart to see her so full of sorrow.
Jasper glanced at the bedside clock and noted the time: 3:56 a.m. The others would be returning from their hunt soon. All the Cullens were ordered to sate their thirst for Bella's upcoming birthday party. Jasper truly had no interest in attending. Not when Alice was so despondent. But she'd practically begged him to go, so he acquiesced.
Anything to make her happy.
Jasper took in an unnecessary lungful of air and sighed. He was frustrated and unsure of how to handle his own wife. They had been inseparable for the better half of a century, and Jasper now had no clue how to make his mate smile, how to make her glow with happiness. He realized that after over sixty years together, he was back at square one.
Alice's body stiffened next to him and Jasper instantly knew that his wife was having a vision of the future. He kept his body perfectly still, which wasn't hard to do, and waited, for he had no desire to disrupt or snap Alice out of whatever she was seeing.
Suddenly, his body was wracked with overbearing loneliness, despair, animosity, anguish. Desolation. Deep, wretched dejection.
Jasper gasped in shock, trying to grab hold of the overwhelming, chaotic emotions floating around him. He'd never felt such powerful hopelessness. He again gasped for air.
"Alice," he pleaded as his body trembled with despair. So much pain. He felt himself falling deeper and deeper, unable lift himself out of the emotional black hole.
Only a few seconds had passed since the emotions hit, but to Jasper, it felt much longer. Infinitely longer. After concentrating and centering himself, he was finally able to gain a small amount of control. The agony was much more powerful than he anticipated, but after what felt like a lifetime, Jasper finally had it under his grasp.
He immediately wrapped Alice in his arms, the couple shaking with tearless sobs, both for entirely different reasons. Alice cried for herself, for the immense pain she had, and would continue to, endure. She cried for feeling so selfish, for trying to hold on to something that was never hers to begin with. Jasper cried for his wife, powerless to do anything to combat the dark, murky depths her mind constantly battled to rise against. He would give anything to help her, to absolve her of this acute, penetrating pain.
After an indefinite amount of time, Alice's grip on her husband slightly loosened and she took a deep, shaky breath. Jasper decided to break the silence. He couldn't go another minute like this.
"Alice, please talk to me. You have to talk to me. What was that? What did you see?"
"I... I was hoping it would change. That I could change it. I... can't. Nothing changes... I—Jasper, I don't know what to do!"
A heart-wrenching wail erupted out of Alice's mouth and she began to weep piercingly into his chest. Jasper held her, whispering words of love and adoration into her ear while rubbing soothing circles into her smooth skin.
"Let me help you, Alice. Please tell me what you saw."
Jasper now had to constantly fight to keep everything under control. The feelings his mate was emitting, conjugated with his own intense emotions was almost too much for him to bear.
"Why are you feeling this way? What's happened? Talk to me." Desperation laced Jasper's words and Alice felt horrible for what she was subjecting her husband to. She took a deep breath, preparing to tell him everything. Alice looked in her husband's eyes, so full of love and concern. How she wished things were different.
"Two months ago," she began, "I started having these little, inconsequential visions. They were weird, scattered. They made no sense, really. But I felt incredibly confused and sad after they passed and I had no clue why. As time went on, these particular visions became longer, clearer. I tried so many things to divert the path we were all on. For my own selfish reasons, of course."
She took a deep breath, bracing herself against the pain that the next words to leave her mouth would surely bring. For weeks, Alice dared not ever utter the words aloud terrified that verbalizing them would cement the inevitable. She knew it was asinine. Ridiculous, really. Nonetheless, she couldn't give up hope. But tonight... tonight, that hope had been violently shattered, decimated, annihilated. She couldn't help but remember the famous quote: Resistance is futile. Never had any sequence of words rung more true.
Jasper felt his wife's conflicting emotions and sent powerful doses of love and comfort to her, rubbing her back delicately with his fingertips as if she would break under a firmer touch. As the silence warred on, he became more anxious and edgy. Somehow Jasper knew that the next words to come out of his mate's mouth would eternally change their lives. He hoped like mad that they would be able get through this obstacle and emerge stronger than before.
"Jasper... you and Bella... you're mates. You were meant to be together."
Although Jasper's hearing had been above and beyond impeccable for over a century, he was sure he had misheard his wife. There was no way Alice had just told him what he thought he heard. He inwardly scoffed at the absurdity of it all. In love with Edward's mate? A human?
"Alice, please don't take this the wrong way, but that's ludicrous. Just downright... preposterous! Obviously, you're misinterpreting what you're seeing. There has to be some logical explanation. You are my mate. You are the one I love."
He tenderly grabbed Alice's hand and leisurely, repeatedly, kissed her ring finger, looking desperately into her eyes, willing her to see that what they had was stronger than some wacky vision. Jasper never had any doubts about what his wife saw, in all of their decades together, she'd never been wrong. Clearly, there was a first time for everything.
"I know you love me, Jasper, but you're not in love with me. You've been so blind to it all, afraid to acknowledge what's right in front of you. As much as it rips me apart to say this... you're in love with Bella. You two will be together. I haven't seen how it will happen. I just know it's soon. Very soon."
Jasper was having difficulty digesting what his ma—Alice, was saying. Of course he was in love with her. He'd been in love with her since the day they met... hadn't he?
"I know it's hard to hear right now, but the love you feel for me will not even come close to the amorous, all-consuming love you'll feel for her. I've seen you together, Jasper, and it's quite a sight to see. You two belong together. The bond you feel, it's unmistakable. Our meeting and finding the Cullen's, it was Destiny leading you to her, waiting for the right moment. That moment is coming, Jasper. Soon. I think it happens before the party."
"But... what about Edward? What about you, Alice? I can't let you go. You're my everything. What will I do without you?"
Alice swallowed back the grief that threatened to overtake her. If it were at all possible, she would have fallen victim to, and died of a broken heart.
"I don't know what will become of Edward. I haven't seen him in any of these visions. My guess is that he takes off after finding out. As far as myself, you must understand that I can't stick around much longer. It will ruin me to see you with her. She's my best friend... I just can't do it."
Alice's body once again shook with fruitless sobs as her husband shushed and consoled her. While comforting Alice, Jasper's mind was silently working a mile a minute, trying to make sense of everything. How could he ever be happy, knowing that his being with Bella would inevitably tear the family apart? Carlisle, of course, would try his damnedest to be supportive and understanding. But what about the others? Esme would be devastated, Rosalie would be infuriated, Emmett would be torn, Edward would be heartbroken and Alice, his poor, gentle, sweet, kind Alice. He couldn't bear the thought of causing her such misery.
And what did Alice mean he was already in love with Bella? That couldn't be right. How could he be in love with her and not know it? Sure, she was beautiful and intelligent and so many other things. But in love? Thinking back, Jasper had found it strangely odd that he never had a strong urge to drain her. He figured his lack of bloodlust for Bella was easily explained away by the fact that she was Edward's mate and would soon become a Cullen. Was he in love with Bella? Could his soul have known all along what his mind refused to accept?
Jasper didn't have long to ponder that thought, because he heard the others approaching the house. Alice quickly shot up with wild eyes and quietly whispered,
"Hide your thoughts from Edward. He can't know about this until I figure everything out."
Jasper nodded his head slowly in understanding and sadly looked at the woman who had been by his side through so many hardships. He couldn't believe he wouldn't be spending the rest of forever with her as he previously assumed he would. He grabbed her tightly and kissed her passionately. A kiss goodbye, they both knew.
Alice wrapped her arms around her love for the last time, memorizing everything she could about him—his shaggy hair, his soulful eyes, his tough and resilient nature. Every single scar had made him into the man she loved and cherished for so long. But he wasn't hers anymore. He would never be hers again. Truthfully, he was never hers to begin with. Coming to that realization was what broke her heart the most.
Alice knew Edward was close enough to now hear her thoughts, so she began mentally singing Lady Gaga songs to keep him out of her head. She knew he would eventually grow suspicious, but she would deal with his leeriness some other time. Tonight was her last night with her one, true love. She would not waste it worrying about Edward. She wanted to be selfish, just for tonight...
Sooooooo... Whaddya think?
Until next time! Smooches! ^_^