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A/N Thank you so much to my Beautiful Friend and Beta SparklingWand, and my amazing proof readers Twimoments and Melarimo you guys are my heart!
Thanks so much to all the readers who have continued to stick by me on this journey, I appreciate each and everyone of you! Please leave some love!
The Heart Won't Lie
Looking back over the years
Of all the things I've always meant to say
But words didn't come easily
So many times through empty fears
Of all of the nights I tried to pick up the phone
So scared of who might be answering
You try to live your life from day to day
But seeing you across the room tonight
Just gives me away
Cause the heart won't lie
Sometimes life gets in the way
But there's one thing that won't change
I know I've tried
The heart won't lie
You can live your alibi
Who can see you're lost inside a foolish disguise
The heart won't lie
By: Reba McEntire
Chapter 10 (The Heart Won't Lie)
It's kind of funny how much your life can change in a span of twenty-four hours. I never imagined when I woke up yesterday morning, that I would be boarding a plane bound for the one place I've been running from for so long.
I'd spent so much time over the last twelve years wondering where Edward was, whether or not he was okay, and if he was ever able to overcome those demons that seemed to haunt him. Now that I had my answers I couldn't help but think it had all been such a waste.
Up until yesterday, I guess there was still some hope left in me that at some point he really did love me, and wanted me just as much as I wanted him. But as I stood there and listened to my best friend tell me that she and Edward were married, I felt my breath escape me and knew instantly that I never really meant anything to him.
All this time, I've been desperately chasing after a man who had never thought anything more of me than a stupid high school crush.
I placed my carry-on bag in the over head compartment and took my seat.
As if learning all that wasn't enough, I find out that the one man who ever really did give a shit about me was hiding a secret too! It was enough to nearly send me over the edge.
I knew I had no right to go through his texts last night, but I was so damn upset over him getting angry at me for wanting to go back to Forks for Alice's surgery, that I somehow felt justified in my actions. It wasn't something I'd done on a regular basis. In fact, I've never really been concerned about Jake lying to me about anything. I was always too wrapped up in my bullshit to worry about that.
Lately though, Jake has been so hot and cold with me that I couldn't help but feel there was something going on with him that he wasn't telling me. I noticed he kept his phone close by and was checking it more frequently. I figured if I wanted to really know what was going on with him that would be the first place to start.
Upon reading that one single text from her, all my questions were answered for me in the blink of an eye.
I knew I'd heard Jake mention the name Leah before, but it was only once and a long time ago. He had never mentioned her since, so I never imagined that this girl was a more important part of his past. After reading the text, however, it became clear that I was wrong about that. She was important.
I didn't have much time before he got out of the shower, so I quickly knelt on the floor, and pulled his box of old high school yearbooks from under the bed. I went through several finding nothing, not even a picture of this girl. When I opened up the last one, however, a folded note fell out onto the floor in front of me. I picked it up and unfolded it. I was stunned to see that it was from her.
After reading its contents, I realized that she was to Jake, what Edward had always been to me- a love that he was never willing to let go of. The difference for him though, according to the text I'd read from her, was that apparently, this Leah really did love him too. It killed me to know that I would never get a happy ending like that.
After sliding the note back in the yearbook and placing the box back under the bed, I shut the light off and climbed into bed. The last thing I wanted was to confront Jake about any of this.
I was angry at first, but quickly realized that it had all been my fault. If I had been there for Jake the way a real wife should have been, maybe he would have never sought out this girl from his past.
When he came out of the bathroom, I laid there in bed, pretending to be asleep. I felt him crawl in beside me and whisper goodnight, but I couldn't respond. So I just rolled over and stared at the wall. Suddenly, all of emotions that I'd kept bottled up for so long came flooding to the surface and with them all the tears that I'd yet to cry.
I lay there beside him listening to him sleep. I found myself reflecting on every shitty mistake I had made in my life. I realized that I should have never tied Jake down all this time in the first place. I knew from the beginning that I would never love him the way he deserved to be loved, but I had been too selfish to care.
After all of this became clear to me, I knew there was only one thing for me to do now. It was time to do the right thing and set him free. I was the only one with the power to let him live his life and find the happiness he needed…deserved. There was just no point in keeping him bound to me anymore when he had found what I had always dreamed of.
You would think that walking out of that door would have been one of the easiest decisions I'd ever made. It wasn't though, it was far from it. I never loved Jake the way I'd spent half my life loving Edward, but I did love him, and he really was the only friend I've had for a very long time. I was going to miss him terribly.
With that thought, tears filled my eyes. I was terrified for the first time in ten fucking years. I was on my own again, and in just a few short hours, I was going to be facing the past that has haunted me for so long, head on.
I wasn't angry with Alice for having married the one man on earth that I ever really loved. I honestly couldn't blame her. However, knowing that Edward had chosen her to share his past and present with, broke my already shattered heart.
It was just hard to believe that I'd read him so wrong back then. That all that time we'd spent together in high school never led to anything more than my broken heart. My heart had always told me that he loved me the same way I had loved him, but my head told me I was a fool and nothing more than a simple toy to him. It looks like my head was right.
How could I have been so wrong?
Traitorous tears streamed down my cheeks, as I looked out the window of the plane.
I reached up to wipe them away, when I heard the woman sitting next to me ask if I was okay, while handing me a tissue.
"Yes, thank you," I replied taking the tissue from her and trying to feign a smile.
"Okay, as long as you're sure. I'm a very good listener if you need a friend" she said smiling back.
"Thank you," I said again.
Her eyes were filled with genuine concern. I knew I would never see this woman again, but I didn't feel the need to air my dirty laundry to her either. I nodded and gave her the most generic answer I could muster.
"I'll be fine. I just had to say said goodbye to a very good friend."
"Saying good-bye is never easy, but sometimes it's necessary. Like cleaning out a closet, you must let go of the old to prepare for the new. I know you'll miss your friend, but what's in store for you will overshadow that friendship entirely," she predicted.
I felt chill bumps trickle down my back. It almost felt like this woman knew something I didn't yet.
I thanked her for her kindness and turned to look out the window one last time before laying my head back and dozing off. The last thing I remembered was the plane taking off.
"Miss!" I heard someone say, while shaking my arm trying to wake me.
"I'm sorry," I said yawning, realizing we had landed.
"No problem. We've just landed in Port Angeles," the flight attendant responded.
I quickly stood, grabbing my bag from where I'd placed it in the overhead compartment, and hesitantly exited the plane.
Walking out of the airport, it crossed my mind that the last time I'd been here was the day I'd left for college. Not a whole lot had changed since that day, except for maybe a few new worry lines on my face. I was still that same young, broken girl at heart.
The cab ride went by relatively quickly, considering it was at least an hour ride to Forks from Port Angeles. I was in no hurry to get where I was going. In fact, with each passing mile, I was losing my nerve and was tempted to tell the cab driver to turn around.
Where would I go, there's nothing else out there for me now.
The minute the cab turned on Alice's street, my heart started beating out of my chest. Knots began to form in the pit of my stomach and I could feel the bile slowly rising into my throat.
Instantly, I was filled with regret. This may, without a doubt, turn out to be the biggest mistake I've made yet. What the hell would I even say to Edward after all this time? I had no idea what my reaction would be to seeing him again, and that scared the shit out of me.
When the car came to a stop, I just sat there unable to move. I noticed several cars in the driveway, and had no idea if one of them belonged to him or not.
"You gettin out or not, lady?" the cab driver asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Yeah, give me a second," I growled.
I took one last deep breath, exited the car, and grabbed the one bag I'd brought with me. I made my way up the walkway towards the house, and every step I took felt like a monumental task.
Just as I reached the front door and was about to knock, the door was flung open, and my heart practically jumped out of my chest. Someone came rushing out the door and nearly collided into me.
I was too afraid to look up, but I didn't have to see him to know it was him that was standing right in front of me. Even after all this time, I could feel him. His mere presence sent my body into overload. All of the anger and resentment I had for him dissipated instantly, and I felt the urge to reach out and touch him.
"Bella," he gasped, causing me to look up at him for the first time.
I couldn't speak. I couldn't even move. I just stood there staring at him. He was just as magnificent as he was back then. His hair was in perfect disarray sticking out every which way just like it used to, when he would constantly run his fingers through it. His body a stunning work of art that I had to force myself not to stare at, confirming he hadn't changed a bit.
My heart lurched out of my chest when I looked in those brilliant green eyes of his. I nearly lost it because all I could see was pain staring right back at me.
"Edward," I whispered with tears in my eyes.
He reached his hand up and wiped away the tears falling down my cheek. His hand was so soft and tender. I closed my eyes and held my breath trying to control my emotions.
My breath hitched as his thumb trailed over my cheekbone. His touch sent shivers right down to my very core. It was amazing after all this time how he still affected me. Without even thinking about it, I found myself moving closer to him.
I noticed he made no effort to remove his hand from my face as I moved towards him. Instead he brought his other hand up and cupped my face in his hands. His fingertips wrapping around the back of my head as his thumbs slowly traced my cheeks. I opened my eyes to see him staring intently at me.
"Bella?" His face looked relaxed but also confused. He looked as though he were trying to convince himself that I was really here.
Looking up at him, I noticed he too had tears in his eyes. So I mimicked his movements and reached my hand up to wipe his tears away. I desperately wanted to touch him, and as I did, a small sob escaped his lips.
He moved his hands from my face without a word and wrapped them around me. I melted into him as he pulled me tightly to him and buried his face in my hair.
"Fuck, angel, I can't believe you're really here," he softly whispered in my ear.
"Me either," I choked out, holding him closely, too afraid to let him go. I just knew if I released him he would disappear like he always did in my dreams, and I couldn't bear that thought at the moment.
I balled my fist into the back of his shirt, gripping him tighter, holding him to me. He didn't seem to mind. I could feel his heart racing against my chest, beating in time with mine. His fingers trailed down my spine, rubbing my back gently but holding me as close as he could.
I didn't care in that moment what had happened between us in the past, or what his true feelings for me were. With him holding me like this, it was as if we'd been transported back to a time before all the pain had set in. Back before all the horrible choices we'd made, back to where we simply loved each other and nothing in the world could touch that.
I didn't want it to end, and I wanted to stay here wrapped in his arms forever.
I leaned back once more wanting to see his beautiful face. Looking in his eyes again, I noticed the look of pain that had laced his face before, had now transformed into one of longing. This confused the shit out of me, what was he longing for? It couldn't possibly be me, could it?
No, that can't be possible! He's married to Alice, he loves her.
I watched as his face inched towards mine, his lips slightly trembling as they neared my face. My body filled with anticipation, with want, desire, and pure need to feel his lips touch mine.
Our moment was broken when Alice stepped out the front door and noticed me standing there. I immediately came to my senses, feeling sick for what I had wanted to just do. I reluctantly stepped away from Edward and snapped back into reality completely.
I felt my body go numb at the loss of his touch and watched, as he practically had to force his hands to his side to keep from pulling me back to him.
"Bella!" she screamed, running towards me, pulling my attention from Edward, and wrapping her arms around me.
"What are you doing here?" she asked with shock in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I know I'm early, but some things happened last night between Jake and me, and I had nowhere else to go," I said as tears filled my eyes again.
"What things?" she asked. I opened my mouth to reply when I noticed Edward's facial expression shift from tenderness to pure anger.
"Alice, when were you going to tell me, you've been in touch with Bella?" Edward growled.
"It's a long story, E. Besides, it doesn't really matter now that she's here, does it?" she replied.
He didn't respond, and now I was even more confused, had Alice not told him that she'd been to see me, and if not, why?
"Come on, Bella, let's go inside, so we can talk more," she said, pulling me towards the front door.
"Edward, you're staying now, right?" she asked him smiling as we passed.
Again he didn't respond, he just followed us in the house, shutting the door behind him. Jasper was sitting on the couch in the living room when we entered, and immediately stood when he saw me.
"Jesus Christ, Bella, it's good to see you!" he exclaimed, pulling me in for a huge hug.
This surprised me, as Jasper was never the touchy feely type in high school. He was always reserved, never letting any emotions out. I always thought back then that whatever had happened to Edward must have affected him as well, because he always appeared sad and withdrawn. He seemed so different now, happy even.
"Jasper, let her sit, I'm sure she's tired," Alice lovingly scolded him. My confusion deepened looking at them. If I didn't know better I would have thought I was in Jasper and Alice's home by the way they acted with each other. It didn't make sense. She was married to Edward, but he was distant, while Jasper was warm and loving towards her.
"Of course," he replied backing away from me with a huge smile on his face.
I made my way to the couch to sit, not because I was tired, but because the last several minutes had stirred so many emotions in me. I was afraid I might faint at any moment.
Alice moved to sit right beside me taking my hand in hers.
Jasper sat on the other side of Alice, nearly attached to her. I couldn't help but notice Edward standing back in the corner of the room watching us. Something wasn't right here. You could almost feel the tension rolling off of him. Why was he acting like a stranger in his own home?
"Edward, please sit down your creeping me out," Alice begged.
It took a few moments, but slowly he made his way to the chair directly across from us and sat down still staring, and still not speaking a single word. I turned towards Ali, and away from his glare to ask her how she was feeling.
"I'm okay right now, just a little tired. It was a long night last night." she said looking towards Jasper and smiling.
The way that Jasper smiled back at Alice, told me there was something that I was missing. I made a mental note to ask Alice about it later when we were alone. As we all sat there, the tension between everyone almost became too much to bear.
Jasper suddenly stood saying he had to get to the hospital for his shift, and apologizing that he had to leave so soon.
"It's okay, Jasper. I won't be able to stay for very long anyway. I promised my dad I would have lunch with him before his shift. It's been a long time since I've seen him," I said smiling.
He pulled me in for another hug telling me how great it was that I was back in town, and asked if I would be staying long.
"For a few days at least, I've come for Alice's surgery," I replied.
"How did you know about that?" he asked confused.
Apparently Alice was full of secrets, and not wanting to give it away that she'd been to see me. Obviously she was hiding that from them for a reason. I replied Charlie told me and left it at that, again making a mental note to ask Alice about it later.
"Okay, I'm sure I'll see you later then," Jasper said.
He smiled at me and then turned to Alice. "Get some rest. I'll be back later to check on you," he whispered to her as he leaned in and kissed her sweetly. My eyes immediately darted to Edward's direction. He sat there cold and distant but made no move to stop his brother from kissing his wife.
What the fuck happened in the last twenty-four hours?
I was so confused my head was spinning.
Jasper waved goodbye as he made his way to the door.
Once Jasper was gone, a tense silence took over the room, until finally Alice cleared her throat and broke the tension in the air.
"Bella, is everything okay?" she questioned.
I was torn, not completely sure if my problems with Jake was something I wanted to be discussing in front of Edward, but the more I thought I about it, the more I realized none of it would really matter to him any way.
Aside from the weird moment that just occurred, he was still married to Alice after all. What the hell did he care what was happening in my life? The thought of that angered me beyond belief, and it took everything I had in that moment to keep control over my emotions. I didn't want him to see what he had done to me all these years.
"Alice, Jake and I had a terrible fight last night," I replied trying to hold back the tears that were now threatening to surface.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I heard a low gasp come from Edward, as he placed his head in his hands. He hadn't said a word since we'd stepped foot in the house, just sat there staring at me. This was the first sign of any reaction he'd had at all, and I wanted to ask him what the hell he was thinking, but still didn't trust my actions when it came to him.
When I'd first seen Edward outside, it was easy to forget for a brief moment everything bad that had happened between us, but it didn't take long for reality to set in. The more I sat here with the two of them, knowing that they were together, the harder it became to hide the pain and anger that I'd held inside for so long.
"He couldn't accept that I'd made the decision to come back to Forks for your operation," I replied bitterly, with the memory of last night coming to the surface.
"I don't understand. You mean you got into an argument over me?" she asked bringing her hand up to cup her mouth in shock.
Tears began to fill her eyes, with the thought that she may have been the cause of the argument between us. I swiftly explained to her that I was sure it was never about her to begin with. I knew he had just used that as an excuse, and I didn't really understand myself the full reason why Jacob became so upset when I told him I was coming here.
"I'm sure it was simply that I'd made a decision to come here without consulting him first that upset him," I replied knowing myself that there was way more to it than that.
"That's why you left?" she asked skeptically.
Everything that had happened last night suddenly began to surface, bringing forth the tears that I'd been fighting so hard to conceal.
"No, it's what happened later, after the argument had happened, that enforced my decision to leave."
I noticed Edward's head pop up. He looked like he could kill someone, and I couldn't figure out what had brought on his anger all of a sudden.
"Bella, what happened?" Alice whispered, now sounding very concerned.
Edward scooted further up in his seat, staring at me intently. I felt as though he were watching a movie that he didn't want to miss a second of. His eyes followed my lips, as though he were trying to make sure he heard every word that was about to come out of my mouth. He was really starting to piss me off. It was bullshit that suddenly he seemed so concerned about me and my problems.
"Ali, it's a long story, but let's just say that things have been strained between Jake and I for a long time. Only it's gotten worse lately, which led me to believe there was a reason for the sudden change. So after our argument, I became the nosey wife that I told myself I'd never be, and searched Jake's texts for any answers I might find there."
I cringed at the memory of reading Leah's text, and more tears began to fall.
"So, did you find the answers you were searching for?" she questioned as she scooted towards me on the couch and placed her arm around me.
"Yes, unfortunately, I did. There was a text from an old girlfriend of his named Leah, only she doesn't appear to be such an old girlfriend now. Apparently he's been seeing her behind my back, and it looks like they may be in love with each other." I cried, placing my head in my hands.
Edward actually growled at my response. He hastily stood up, and started pacing the floor in front of us, running his hands through his hair just like he did when we were younger. It was something he'd always done when he was upset about something, and I had no idea what he was so upset about right now.
"You mean he's cheating on you?" Alice asked stunned.
"Yes. I didn't stick around to learn the details though. I just couldn't face him after that. So I waited until he fell asleep, packed everything that meant anything to me in one simple bag, and left before he woke up."
The room was silent for a moment. Edward paced the floor like a mad man fighting to keep his sanity, tears streamed down Alice's face, and my emotions were now a huge elephant in the room.
Edward stopped and stared at me. He jerked slightly as if he were about to lurch at me when my cell phone started ringing startling me. I pulled it from my pocket and looked at the screen. It was Jake. I couldn't answer. I didn't even know what I would say to him if I did. I just sat there staring at the screen, tears sliding down my cheeks, wondering how the hell my life got so fucked up. Alice leaned into me and laid her head on my shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Bells, but I'm so glad you finally came home though," she cried.
"Me too," I sobbed, because despite every risk I took of having my heart broken even more by coming here, I finally did feel at home again for the first time in twelve years, here with my best friend.
Edward's eyes looked like they were on fire. I had to divert my eyes from his gaze, because he was burning a hole straight though to my soul. So many emotions stared back at me. I was confused trying to figure them all out.
He disappeared down the hall for a few minutes and shortly after he came back with a box of tissues in his hand. He handed it to me without a word. My hand felt like it had ignited when his fingers purposely touched mine. My breath hitched when I looked in his eyes and was transported back in time to the night I walked in on him and Jessica.
That was the last time I ever saw him, the pain and desperation on his face as I walked out the door that night had been ingrained in my heart all these years. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me want to take him in my arms and erase his pain, but I couldn't do that, not now. The fact that I was even worried about his pain pissed me off even more. I suddenly felt the need to get out of here for awhile, before I actually did something I would seriously regret.
"Ali, you look really tired, I should go and let you get some rest. I'll call a cab to take me to my dad's house," I said pulling my phone out again.
"No!" I was startled by the sound of Edward's voice. It was the first time since we'd been in the house that he had spoken.
"No?" I questioned looking up at him.
"I mean, no, I can take you. There's no need for you to call a cab," he whispered.
"That's not necessary," I replied hastily. The thought of being alone with Edward in a car wasn't something I felt I could handle at this point.
"Please, Bella, let me take you!" he pleaded.
"It's okay, Bells, let him take you. It's better than waiting for a cab," Alice nudged me.
It took me a moment to decide, but reluctantly I agreed. I turned towards Alice hugging her and assuring her I would see her tomorrow.
"I really am so happy you're here, Bells," she said. She looked at me and then turned towards Edward, hugging him goodbye. She whispered something in his ear and smiled sadly. Watching them interact like this, made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to change my mind about getting in the car with him in that instant, but knew it was too late for that now.
"Promise me, you'll get some rest, Alice," he said pulling away from her, as he turned to me and asked if I was ready to go.
"Yes, let's go," I replied reluctantly, stepping out the front door.
In the driveway there were two cars, and I instantly made my way to the black Audi R8. I knew there was no way in hell Edward was driving the Volvo parked next to it.
That must be Alice's car.
Edward had always had a weakness for fast, expensive sports cars, Hell, it was hard not to remember the very first time I'd seen him. He and Jasper had pulled up at school driving that silver Mustang Fastback. That car was his life. I didn't think he'd ever part with it.
"You actually gave up your Mustang?" I questioned as he opened the car door for me.
"Not hardly, angel. It's in the garage." He smiled that crooked grin of his and nodded towards the back of the house.
Every time he called me angel, it broke down my defenses against him. So many times since we'd been apart, I'd imagined lying in his arms as he whispered that in my ear. God, it was so hard to be this close to him and yet so far away. Part of me wanted desperately to say the hell with all the pain and misery he'd caused me and claim him as mine right here.
He wasn't mine though, he was hers.
"Of course, I should have known better," I said as I slipped into the passenger seat, still lost in my thoughts.
"Yeah, you should have, that car has way too many memories for me to ever part with it," he winked as he closed the door.
It did have some memories, I thought as I waited for him to get in the car. Although we'd never gone all the way, there were many times in that car we came pretty damn close. The mere thought of those times, made parts of me come alive that I thought were long dead.
Once in the car, he looked over at me and the playful expression that danced in his beautiful green eyes only moments ago was gone, replaced once again by sadness and longing. I instinctively reached up and placed my hand on his cheek and gave him a sad smile. He closed his eyes at my touch and leaned his head into my hand sighing heavily. I had to get a grip on myself, because if I didn't, I was going to do something I knew I'd regret later.
I quickly removed my hand from his face, and turned to look out the window, tears threatening to come once again. Why in the hell is it so easy for him to control me like this, I seethed as the rage took over. I was so damn glad we weren't far from my dad's house. I wouldn't be able to handle much more of this.
"Can we please just go now?" I begged him.
Without a word, he started the car and pulled out of the driveway. The tension in the air around us was thick, and the silence between us was about to drive me insane, when suddenly he cleared his throat.
"Bella, how did you end up with someone like this Jacob? He sounds like a fucking ass if you ask me."
Was he seriously asking me this? What right did he have to question who I ended up with? I was furious.
"Well, I don't recall asking you, Edward," I replied bitterly.
"Please don't be angry. I'm just trying to understand why you would choose to marry someone like that," he said.
"Well, for starters, he wasn't like that when I married him. He was kind and loving, and he was my best friend. You should know all about marriage and best friends, right, Edward? Honestly, why do you care anyway? You should be focusing on the fact that your wife is sick and maybe dying."
"I know my wife is sick, Bella, I don't need you to remind me of that. I've been living it every day since we found out. Every damn day I'm faced with the fact that the one person besides my brother who gives a shit about me is going to die, and there isn't anything I can do to stop it from happening. It breaks my heart that once again I'll be alone, and that I've never been capable of being what she needed, because I'll never feel complete without..."
I watched as Edward fisted his hair. I reached up and took his hand placing it back in his lap. My heart was aching for this broken man. Part of me wanted to slap him, the other part of me wanted to hold him and keep him from the world he was facing.
"Without what, Edward?" I whispered.
Silence ensued as we pulled in front of my old house. It didn't look much different than the last time I'd seen it except for maybe a new coat of paint. Otherwise, everything was exactly the same. My father must have heard us pull up, because he was already descending the porch steps to approach the car.
He had aged so much since I'd last seen him. It nearly took my breath away to look at him. He had worked so hard to change after I left, and I'd done nothing but avoid him every time he'd made an effort to be close to me. I was so ashamed at how I had treated him.
Edward shut the car off, and quickly turned towards me, "There's so much I need to say to you, Bella. Please say you'll give me a chance to explain everything before you leave again," he pleaded, grabbing my hand as I reached for the door handle.
"I'm not going anywhere, Edward, I promise you," I said reaching up to cup his face because I desperately needed him to believe me. I needed his answers just as much as it seemed he needed to give them to me. He placed his hand over mine, holding me to him. My heart leapt in my chest as I felt his lips slightly touch my wrist. He inhaled deeply closing his eyes, refusing to let go of me.
"Edward," I gently whispered. His eyes opened and I was startled. Beyond the pain, beyond the hurt, there was something else there. I had to be imagining this. It wasn't possible.
I quickly pulled away, opened the car door, and stepped out into the waiting arms of my father.