Title: I'm Just a Fool for You (and I Think I'm Going Crazy)
Word count: 1,735
Genre: I'm calling it crangst. Half crack, half angst. Fun, huh?
Spoilers/Warnings: Set in a non-existent bubble of time sometime after 5.18, so spoilers for that episode. Snarky!Cas, voodoo blowjobs, bloodplay?
A/N: Written for highermagic 's birthday. Not beta'd, because, well…highermagic's my beta :/
Summary: Demon blood may be bad, but angel blood? That's another matter entirely. Dean thinks it's good. Oh, so good.
Dean sighed, wiping the spattering of blood from his brow.
Another angel dead, another nail in my Hell-bound coffin.
Dean glanced lethargically at Castiel to his left; he was just finishing off another black-suited angel with a glow of bright white light. The hunter threw his long, silver blade to the ground and it hit the pavement of the abandoned car park with a metallic clatter.
Castiel still held his, looking down a little sadly at the angel he'd just murdered.
"How do you do it, Cas?" Dean muttered as he continued to stare blankly down at the blade he had just cast away. "What happened to, you know, the ten commandments, 'thou shalt not kill'…all that crap?"
Castiel glanced up at the overcast sky before looking to Dean, his blue eyes a little morose.
"That's just the sacrifice you have to make…" he began slowly, dragging a thumb along the blade and picking up a small amount of the angel's blood. "…for the people you love."
At that, Dean looked up. Castiel was gazing at the blood on his thumb with a curious expression. Dean coughed awkwardly.
"Ahem…me? You…you love me?"
Castiel looked up again, meeting Dean's questioning green eyes, his own perfectly innocent.
"You…and Sam. And now Bobby and Adam also."
Dean felt the knot in his stomach tighten at the mention of his half-brother; they still hadn't found him and Dean was worried about what they would see when they did. Was he dead? Burned to a crisp like Anna? Or blind and eyeless like Pam? Worse yet, had he become a Michael-muppet? Yes, he had been an ass, but he was still John's boy, and a Winchester. He deserved to be saved, and if it meant killing a few angels along the way then Dean guessed it was worth it.
Wow, Cas was right about the love thing.
"I felt I should stay loyal to somebody." Castiel sighed, still gazing at the blood on his thumb with a somewhat enthralled look on his face; Dean could almost see cogs clicking into place behind his eyes. "You seemed like a sensible choice. I was ordered that I should value your life over mine, no matter what - you know angels; we always keep our promises."
For a few moments, they simply stared at one another, bonds of trust and loyalty forming as they stood. The blood on Castiel's thumb slowly dripped, leaving crimson paths.
"You are my charge, Dean," Cas said, breaking the silence. "It hurts me when you are upset."
Dean exhaled loudly, at once aggravated and aching. "Well, Cas, if you have any ideas to cheer me up, go right ahea…"
He was cut short. He looked up, wide-eyed, at Castiel - who was standing a good two yards away from him - lips encasing the top of his thumb. His tongue was languidly licking the blood from the pad of his thumb, and the only reason Dean knew this was because the exact same treatment that Castiel's thumb was getting was being received by a very…private part of Dean.
"Oh God, Cas…" Dean choked out, eyes glazing over as he felt Castiel lick up the last few remnants of blood that had dripped down his thumb.
"God has nothing to do with it."
Castiel stroked two of his fingers along the blade slowly. With a teasing lick to the very top of his index finger, Cas watched as Dean took a step forward.
"How the Hell are you doing that?"
"It's the angel blood." Castiel only broke the intense stare at his fingers to look up at Dean, whose green eyes were still wide with shock and glazed over with what could only be described as lust. "It has special properties. I can project what I do to this finger on to anything or anyone I want."
Dean took another tentative step forward. "Sort of like…a voodoo finger?"
"You could say that."
With that, Castiel took his entire finger in his mouth. Dean shuddered and stumbled forward, choking on what he was about to say. He couldn't remember what that was now, but was definitely a lot more eloquent than the aborted moan he let out instead.
Cas removed the finger, looking at the now spit-slick surface with that patented head-tilt he did so well. Just as Dean was wondering where the Hell the angel had learned to do that shit with his tongue, Cas licked a stripe up his middle finger, then back down. Dean lunged forward and grasped Castiel's free arm, just for something to hold on to.
"Oh," he said, innocently enough. "It appears to be working. Are you sufficiently 'cheered up'?"
Dean coughed, having lost his voice, so it seemed. "Um…Cas, can I just ask…what made you think of – ahem – this?"
Castiel just stared at him with those big, blue eyes. He spoke like it was the most obvious thing ever. "You were upset, and from observing your behavioural patterns, when you are upset you tend to seek out sexual stimulation. Am I wrong?"
No, he wasn't wrong. It was just that… when Dean Winchester wanted 'sexual stimulation' he went for soft curves and pink lips, not inappropriate, finger-licky, male angels.
"Don't get me wrong, Cas, I appreciate it, but…" He was stopped short when the angel lifted up the same two fingers, once again coated with the blood, and let them rest right in front of Dean's lips.
"Want some?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling in that way that made Dean know he knew all of his secrets.
Normally, Dean would have immediately said no, but there was something about the way the thick blood dripped gently down Cas' fingers that made him want to taste it. It wasn't a creepy blood fetish or anything, but…you know, he was upset, and here was the opportunity of a lifetime, something that most men only dreamed of: the ability to give themselves a blowjob.
Without thinking, Dean grasped Cas' wrist and guided the two fingers to his mouth. When they met his tongue and he began to suck for all he was worth, Dean shuddered again and would have collapsed to his knees had he not had Cas to hold on to.
But above him, beyond the amazing – if he did say so himself – blowjob, he heard Cas moan.
He was about to pull away and ask what in the hell was going on when Cas stopped him, lacing fingers into the hair at the back of his head and gripping tight.
"Dean, I…" he stopped, swallowing thickly. "Don't stop." When Dean looked up at him with a 'what did you do?' expression, Castiel answered for him. "I projected it onto myself, too, to see what all the fuss was about, and…" he froze, letting out another moan.
Okay, that was getting too far. It was one thing to be sucking himself off with the weird angel blood mojo, but Cas too? No, too far.
But then Cas moaned again, a wanton sound that gave Dean a squishy feeling in his stomach that made him want to hear it again. Hell, the guy was a virgin, he deserved something before this whole Apocalypse sent the Earth spiralling down the drain. So with a glint in his eyes, Dean began to suck harder at the coppery tasting blood.
Cas clutched harder at Dean's hair, and his knees buckled a little, and he grit his teeth to prevent more incriminating noises to come forth. It didn't really work: the stuff that came out of that angel's mouth was pure pornography, a testament in itself to how much Dean had corrupted Cas.
By the time his fingers had been laboriously licked clean of blood – Dean made sure to get all the nooks and crannies where there might be any – Dean was close to the edge, and it was clear by Cas' shallow breathing and racing pulse that he was too.
There was just one thing left that Dean wanted to do. If Castiel was a virgin it stood to reason that he'd never been kissed before either. Dean didn't know why, but he wanted to be the one to do that first… maybe it was the angel blood fuddling his brain – Dean Winchester did not kiss guys, angel or otherwise – but hey, whatever.
He bent over to pick the discarded blade up from the ground and swiped his thumb along a part of it that wasn't covered in gravel or dust. Straightening, he reached up and cleaned his thumb off by brushing it across Castiel's bottom lip. Before the angel could make any form of protest – not that he would be going anywhere soon, not if the bulge in his dress pants was anything to go by – Dean leaned in and set about getting the blood off of Cas' lips…with his own lips.
Castiel gasped into his mouth, leaving Dean a gap to slip his tongue in, the whole time sucking languidly at his bottom lip. Cas was hesitant, not knowing how to kiss, but millennia of watching humans do it apparently gave him some tips because soon he was kissing back, his tongue brushing against Dean's.
Dean groaned as he sucked up the last of the angel blood, and they both came at the same time, that last bit of blood giving them both the last boost they needed. Dean finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, staring directly into Cas' eyes, still innocent as ever. When he felt like he'd recovered enough to actually speak, or be able to stand without using Castiel as a crutch, he laughed.
"Cas, you mind cleaning this up?" he asked, gesturing vaguely towards his crotch. "This'll be awkward to explain to Sam."
"Of course." With a thought, they were both clean, looking as though nothing had ever happened.
They started a slow walk back to the Impala, the silence only a little awkward – well, only a little more awkward than being alone with Castiel normally was – when Cas asked: "Dean, have you been 'cheered up' now?"
The answer was, most definitely, yes.
"I dunno Cas, might need some more cheering up when we get back to the motel," he said, smirking. "Just…wait until Sam's not there, okay?"
"Are you sure Sam doesn't need some cheering-"
"-No!" Dean coughed. "No, he doesn't. Just…between us, alright?"
"Alright," Cas said with a smile.