A/N:…Hm. Well I suppose this needs some explaining. I was just sitting around and eating a plate of cheese broccoli when, for some strange reason, I wanted to write a crack pairing. But I didn't want to write something completely and totally unrealistic. You know those pairings; like Austria/Korea or something. I wanted the characters in this to have some sort of tie or interaction, but still wanted to make it funny.

So the more I thought about it (which was actually like five minutes; yes, I do finish thinking of story plots very fast) the easier it became. Why not breach the language barrier? And who better to do that than (annoying) America? So I chose Hong Kong to be his target of choice since I fell in love with his character when I read someone else's story. He was only a side character, but I really liked him in it. And since they were both one of England's colonies at one point or other, that's just enough vague connection to work for a slight romance.

With that said, here you go. I hope you all will give it a shot even if you're not into crack pairings, which I'm not either, so bear with me. Just test it on your pallet and tell me what you think.

Oh, and one more thing. I have no idea how old Hong Kong is. I haven't even encountered him yet in the anime. So if this is, like, shota or something, then I apologize. I am still thinking Hong Kong is old enough to participate in pairings, unlike Sea land in my mind.

Enjoy.


America walked quickly down the halls of the building where this month's summit would take place. While he was a bit taller than some of the other countries, it gave him an easier view to find who he was looking for. Blue eyes darted around for a particular mop of black hair; it was so hard to find since Japan had a similar hair style. America bit nervously at the tip of his tongue, wringing his fingers together in an unsure manner. He wasn't doing something wrong, right? He was just looking for someone. There was no harm in that at all.

…Was there?

His stomach did a sudden flip at the thought, nearly making him trip. He frowned and rubbed a hand over his face, ignoring the curious looks from Finland and Sweden. America waved them off with a small smile to say that he was fine, before he sped down the hall and took a sharp left.

With a relieved sigh, America slumped against the wall. To tell the truth, he was feeling a sensation that didn't happen all too often. In fact, it was something he hadn't felt in decades. America stared at the ground at a place between his shoes and blew a defeated breath from his lips. He didn't know why or how it happened, but for some reason he was feeling all tingly and elated by Hong Kong of all people.

If he traced it back to the root of it, his uneasy affection started when they bumped into each other three conferences ago. America hadn't been watching where he was going, Hong Kong carrying a small box which made him walk awkwardly. They turned corners and bam! The Asian lay sprawled over America's chest, his lips grazing his neck with an open mouth on the way down. He remembered the spike of adrenaline hit him when he felt the edge of a tooth scraping against his skin. That accompanied with warm lips and hot breathing ignited something that should never have been lit.

In haste to get the boy off him, America shot his hands up to assist but forgot how short he was and grabbed his thighs, intending to grab a torso. It pretty much went downhill from there. Hong Kong's eyes widened slightly before he stared at the flustered and confused American beneath him. He didn't say a word; just calmly got off him and picked up his box before bowing and walking away.

Such a small encounter…and yet it had such a strange impact on America. The vestiges of that moment against his neck still lingered. He could feel it even now as he lay his fingers against his slowly rising pulse. Yes, if there had been no physical aspect of their meet, America supposed he probably wouldn't be thinking about the Asian occasionally, let alone seeking him out. But because of something so simple as that, Hong Kong had taken refuge in his bloodstream.

America grumbled and sank to the floor. He didn't remember the last time he felt this pathetic. Was the United States of America that easily swayed when it came to liking someone? And there was no denying it now.

No matter how inane or impossible it sounded, America had a crush on Hong Kong.


After asking several nations, Taiwan finally pointed America in the right direction. He walked into the temporary kitchen the building had – it was more a few cupboards with a stove and a table – and saw Hong Kong eating something quietly to himself. The boy's head drooped slightly over his meal, ribbons of charcoal hair littering over the side of his face. He was looking out the window when America started to feel nervous again. He frowned and slapped his face.

He was America for crying out loud. What was he to be nervous about? Gathering back some of his confidence and sweeping away the butterflies in his tummy (Hong Kong seemed to reduce him to a pile of useless mush) America puffed up his chest and pretended to casually walk into the room. Upon hearing footsteps, Hong Kong looked up from his meal to see America make his way to one cupboard and rummage around.

America pretended to look surprised when he shut the door. "Hey! How long have you been here? Didn't see you for a minute. Hong Kong, was it?"

The Asian tilted his head to the side and continued chewing in that delicate way America would never be able to. America still grinned despite himself and fiddled with the cup he pulled out. His eyes started skimming for a coffee pot. "I can't listen anymore to all that fighting. At least not without some coffee. They do this every month; it's pointless," America said and started to fill his mug to the rim with the black liquid. His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head when the smell hit his nose but he refrained himself. Damn, did he love a good cup a' Joe.

Hong Kong took another bite with his chopsticks. America leaned against the counter and took a sip. "What'cha got there?" he motioned to Hong Kong's meal. He just stared.

America fidgeted, that nervous feeling starting to come back. Was he saying something wrong? Why wasn't the kid talking to him? Perhaps he just needed to clarify a bit. "That. What you're eating. Is it good?" America walked over and withheld most of his grimace. It didn't look very good. He looked at Hong Kong whose dark eyes were unwavering.

America bit his lip. He motioned with one hand to his mouth. "Eating. You know? What are you eating?"

Still nothing.

America sat down and pulled at the hem of his jacket to keep his hand busy. "Are you deaf?" he asked earnestly. Hong Kong narrowed his eyes a bit and craned his neck in a manner of confusion. America sighed. "What…uhm…What are you doing in here by yourself? You should be eating with everyone else."

Hong Kong swallowed, eyes never leaving America as he took a sip from his glass. Okay, this wasn't going at all how he thought it would. America sighed and placed his cheek in his palm.

"And you're ignoring me. I guess you want to be alone or something so I'll just get out of your hair," he muttered and started to stand up. Something tugged lightly at the side of his bomber jacket, making him glance down. Hong Kong was holding out a small ball of rice with something pink inside of it in between his chopsticks. Was he giving that to him? America faltered for a moment before quietly sitting back down and taking the food from the chopsticks. He put it in his mouth and found out it wasn't that bad.

"Thanks," he smiled, cheeks feeling like they were oven burners. Hong Kong didn't say anything, just continued chewing. When America swallowed, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Hey, you know you don't talk that much do you? You're a real quiet guy, I've been starting to notice. I'm starting to think you don't understand me or something," America said with a bark of laughter. It drifted off once he saw how serious Hong Kong looked. America furrowed his brow in disbelief. "Wait, you can understand me, right?"

Nothing.

America leaned forward and saw the boy stiffen. He motioned to his mouth as if to talk. "Speak. Me. You can understand it, yes?" Wow, he felt extremely disrespectful. This had to be, like, some terrible cultural thing he was doing. To his surprise, the Asian paused before slowly shaking his head 'no'. America gaped. "You can't? You don't speak English?" he asked in disbelief. He thought everyone spoke English. Why wouldn't they? That was his language.

Okay, so well, it had been England's first, but he made it better.

America concluded that the nation in front of him didn't speak a lick of English. He had to conclude that considering how quiet he was being. This realization made America feel a lot better. He leaned back and took a refreshing drink of his coffee. And here he'd thought he was just being snubbed. It made him want to laugh now. America grinned a cheeky grin over the top of his mug at Hong Kong who was wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Are you doing anything later?" he asked, feeling much more confident knowing that whatever he said, Hong Kong wouldn't judge him or be offended by it. Not that he wanted to offend the boy. Just that…Well, England said…Okay, most everyone said he was a bit insensitive. But not on purpose. When Hong Kong merely blinked at him, America grinned. "I'll take that as a no."


America had spent every chance he got whenever he wasn't in a meeting and Hong Kong wasn't occupied moving those mysterious boxes he tended to do. America's spine tingled just looking at those boxes; the boxes which made him feel like this. Hong Kong had stayed absolutely silent when he'd taken him out in the courtyard to feed squirrels and birds. The boy never really fed the animals, more just watched America kneel down and let them take it from his hands.

America could even swear he saw Hong Kong's eyes widen in amazement for a moment, before he put back on that apathetic mask.

That moment cut to a roaring halt when a squirrel bit America. He'd panicked, nearly starting to cry at the thought of getting rabies. In his panic, Hong Kong started to panic, not knowing quite what was going on. America had just sprung up and started screaming. When the Asian finally grasped the situation, he became placid once more, taking hold of America's other hand and leading him to the infirmary.

He didn't have rabies. But he did get a really cool SpongeBob Band-Aid.

America also started to eat his meals with Hong Kong. He would talk a lot, telling him about different events in his history. Hong Kong had always politely listened as he chewed away. America's absence was easily noticed by fellow nations. There was no one there as loud or sloppy as he was when it came to eating. England would come to him with his arms crossed and a wary look on his face asking him where he'd been. America would just smile and scratch the back of his head, looking off to the side with red ears to where Hong Kong was carrying boxes.

England didn't seem to believe him.

On the last day of the conference that month, America began to feel like he had at the beginning of it. His stomach coiled deep down, weaving spindles of warm nerves so sensitive, that just the rise and fall of his chest sent them trembling. He wasn't sure if it was because he wouldn't be back with everyone for another thirty days, being engrossed in work once more, or the fact that he didn't like that all this effort with Hong Kong was going to go down the drain.

He smacked his head against the table. Damn him and his wandering eye!

Hearing a small tapping against the tiled floor, America sprung his head up to see Hong Kong walking in towards the cupboards. His heart leapt into his throat. Speak of the devil. America swallowed and put on a lopsided smile.

"Hello."

Hong Kong rummaged around before pulling out some instant tea packets. He filled the teapot up and set it on the stove. He turned his vision to America who was tracing a pattern against the wood. "How've you been? I haven't seen you since we put that bucket of water above France's room. Well, I put it there, but you tied the string. I think you laughed…or smiled. Do you even know how to laugh?"

Hong Kong brushed off some stray crumbs from the countertop. America sighed. "You leave today, huh?" Hong Kong looked up and tilted his head. America explained. "Leave. You. To China." Hong Kong perked up hearing the name of his country and nodded. America nodded back. Okay, at least he knew that much. "How far is that from Spain anyway? I never like conferences in Spain. They always have weird airports. At least the ones I've been to."

The kettle started to whistle. Hong Kong looked away and pattered over to the stove and turned it off. He was in the middle of pouring a cup of tea when America groaned and put his face in his arms. "This would be so much easier if you could understand me." It was silent a moment before he felt a tap on his arm. Peeking up through the crook of his elbow, America saw Hong Kong peering curiously down at him, a second cup in his other hand.

America straightened up. "Oh. Thanks."

They sat in relative silence, nothing but the sipping of tea being heard. America pulled the cup away from his mouth and crinkled his nose. He'd never been fond of tea. Looking up at Hong Kong once more, America fidgeted. Oh, hell. He might as well go for it since the Asian wouldn't understand him anyways.

He pushed his cup away. "Hey, listen." Wow. His voice totally didn't sound as pathetic as it did in his ears. "I…Uhm, I really liked…this conference. Yeah, I'll go with that. It was fun and," America stopped. He fidgeted under the stony stare that was Hong Kong's eyes. Man, they looked like someone just poured a bucket of ink into them. "Uhm, I just…Shit. I'm not good with this stuff. What I'm trying to say is – well, I've never hung out with you before. Or noticed you actually, and that's my bad. Sorry. But, well, you see – Hong Kong, you're not such a bad guy and I kinda like–"

A noise by the door nearly sent America toppling out of his chair, nerves unhinged and face aflame. He straightened out to see China entering. He smiled politely at America and Hong Kong. "Nihao, aru."

"H-hey, China," America managed and placed his quivering hands against his cup.

China raised a neatly trimmed eyebrow at him but continued opening a small box of aspirin. "This is where you've been all week? I knew you liked food, America, but to stay in a kitchen all this while is a little…"

America shook his head. "No. I was just…" he stopped when glancing towards Hong Kong. The nation had never looked away. Well that was unnerving. "Yeah. Let's go with what you said."

China looked at him curiously before shaking it off. "Hong Kong, are you packed, aru? I asked you yesterday but you never answered."

Hong Kong looked up and nodded, shutting his eyes and taking a sip of his tea. This caught America's attention. He leaned in.

"Good. For such a small person, you leave big messes. Did you still want help with your suitcase, aru?"

Hong Kong nodded. China sighed and muttered something in irritable Chinese under his breath. America gaped and stood up. China looked at him from across the room, Hong Kong doing the same. "Wait – wait a minute. He can understand you?" America blurted.

China looked at him like he was crazy. "Of course."

"Of course? I thought he didn't speak English!" America announced, eyes bugging out down towards the smaller Asian. He could feel that embarrassed heat crawling up his neck again.

"This is the twenty-first century, aru. If you want to get anywhere in this world, you need to know the first few most popular languages to conduct yourself with," China responded and put the box neatly back by the cookie jar. China waved at Hong Kong with his sleeve. He ordered something in Chinese again before saying something about hurrying and leaving.

America stood as stiff as a board. Hong Kong spoke English? Then why hadn't he said anything all week? And he was…oh, America had just been about to say something so…

He jumped when Hong Kong arose from his seat, eyelashes fanning down when he leaned over to collect both glasses. America watched on abnormal jelly legs when Hong Kong rinsed both glasses and put them away. He turned around to look at the blonde and America felt himself suck in a breath between his teeth.

The Chinese province moved forward before bowing. America blinked owlishly when Hong Kong leaned up with a small ghost of a smile gracing his lips.

"You are funny," he said. America felt something in him tug at the sound of his voice. He couldn't remember the last time he heard Hong Kong speak. Had he ever spoken before?

With that, he politely vacated the room, leaving nothing but an astounded America behind. America stood for a while before sinking down into his chair and rubbing a hand over his forehead.

"I'm funny?" He mulled this over. He was funny. Hong Kong thought he was funny. A smile pulled at America's lips as well before he crumbled over and chuckled. Well this conference hadn't been a total waste after all. After sitting in silence and thinking this over once more, America began to frown and furrow his brow. "Wait, is funny a bad thing? I wasn't trying to be funny…"

He shot out of his chair and started down the hall. "Hey wait, Hong Kong! What did you mean by funny?"