Right after Eames placed it in his hand, Arthur automatically grabbed for his totem in his pocket, because there was no way he wasn't dreaming.

"Don't worry, love. I wouldn't waste your time with fake ones," Eames crooned, positioning himself on the desk. He smirked, crossing his legs underneath him and leaning backwards against his hands. "It's all real."

Arthur just continued to stare at it in his wide open palm, slack jawed and in disbelief that this was happening. "Why are you giving me this?" he asked flatly.

Eames chuckled. "That loaded dice is a little dull, don't you think? Maybe you could carry that around with you instead. It would definitely be a better replacement to that stick up your ass. Make you a little more enjoyable to be around... hell knows you're getting a bit insufferable."

Arthur looked back down at it. It was neon purple, and was that glitter? He tried to control the blush in his cheeks, and thanked God that neither Dom nor Ariadne were around to see this.

"And giving me sex toys is supposed to fix that?"

Eames shrugged. "Sure could help it out. Lord knows nothing else has, so maybe all you need is a good fuck."

Arthur looked back down in the content in his hand. It was seriously one of the most disturbing things he'd ever seen. "Why are you buying me sex toys?" he asked coolly, raising an eyebrow.

Opening his mouth to answer, Eames never got the chance to. "Oh hey, Arthur. Cool dildo," Ariadne said casually, coming up from behind him and clapping him on the shoulder. Arthur sputtered, trying to form words but nothing really intelligible came out. Dom was looking at him with an amused look on his face, an eyebrow perched before he shook his head to conceal his chuckles.

Eames, however, did nothing to conceal his laughter. His eyes are shut, clutching his sides as he folds in on himself, laughter erupting from him. Arthur tightened his hand around the toy in his hand. It wasn't like he decided to bring this in in hopes that everyone would find mockery in him.

"Don't worry, darling. It was just a joke," Eames finally said, hopping down off the desk and taking a step towards Arthur.

Arthur looked up at him. The fact that he was still grinning, and he could hear everyone chuckling, and the fact that Eames had went out and bought him a dildo as a fucking joke... He threw it at Eames' face, nailing his right in the forehead. It silenced everyone in the room before bouncing off his head and tumbling to the ground. Arthur turned around and walked out.


When Eames opened the doors to Arthur's bedroom, hoping to apologize for what happened earlier, the lights were dim and the room was practically silent. Then again, what else was he expecting? It was Arthur's room, after all. And it's not like an invasion of privacy or anything, because who wouldn't love to see Eames?

What he saw next was something that he honestly could never have pictured, never in a million years.

Arthur was standing against a wall, his shirt hanging open and slightly slipping off of his shoulders, exposing the flush of his collarbones. Hips rocking violently as he pressed one of his palms against the wall, pushing the toy further and further into himself. Eames stood there for a moment, realizing that Arthur didn't hear the door open, and still didn't know he was there.

"Fuck," he heard Arthur whisper in a strained voice. "Fuckin'... Eames."

Well. That was different.

Slowly, Eames shed his jacket and moved wordlessly across the room, positioning himself behind Arthur. He wrapped his fingers around Arthur's wrist, taking his hand off of the dildo before he thrusted into Arthur in the same way he'd been doing.

After a second, Arthur's eyes fluttered opened and his head turned over his shoulder to find Eames behind him, with dark eyes wide and biting down on his lip. Eames pressed his lips down onto Arthur's shoulder.

Instead of pushing him away, instead of rambling off some excuse or yelling at him or swearing at him, instead of becoming flustered and embarassed like any normal person should have - he turned back to face the wall, coming with a strangled gasp before he sank listlessly onto Eames,

Eames ran a finger along Arthur's neck, before replacing it with his lips. "I told you if was a good gift," he whispered into the skin.