Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Sadness.
A/N: Just a fluffy oneshot. Inspired by a story on LJ written by Lezi called "Morning Blend (Of Me and You)" Though I hope you like this story. It amused my housemate so I guess it can't be all that bad (though she does tend to enjoy even my worst ideas and we laugh about it). But yes. Enjoy.
Burt was at a loss. He had no idea what to do. Having always been at the garage by seven, Mary always got Kurt up and ready for school. The only days he saw his son in the morning were on Sundays and those were sleep in days and Kurt got up whenever he felt like it. But Mary had passed now and very suddenly Burt was the only parent and he had no idea how to get Kurt up and ready for school.
Kurt had never been a morning person. Or morning kid, as it is. Or morning baby as it was. Whenever Kurt would wake up as a baby he'd wake up crying. Never did he simply wake up happy, he was always a grouch when he first opened his eyes and nothing had changed.
"Come on, kid. Gotta get ready for school." Burt pleaded. Kurt's eyes didn't open and he growled. Growled! Six year old growled at his father! Frowning, Burt picked his son up and took the night clothes off Kurt. Holding the small boy up but he easily maneuvered Kurt into his shirt and jeans. But the kid still had his eyes closed. "Kurt. Son, come on."
"M'sleepy." Kurt's voice sounded small and his miniature hand reached up and rubbed his eyes. "C'n I go back t'bed? Please Daddy?"
Well, Burt couldn't say no to that.
Though the next day turned out to be the same and he couldn't let Kurt miss another day of school simply because his father couldn't get the boy to function. "How did your mom do it, Kurt? How did she get you up?"
"Dunno Daddy." Kurt mumbled, leaning into Burt's arms and head where his shoulder and neck met. "Y'should ask Gl'nda th' good witch. She knows e'erything."
Of course she did. As did Mary. He carried Kurt and sat him on the sofa, making the boy seem even smaller than he was - him sitting on the large piece of furniture all alone. Sipping on his morning coffee, Burt watched as his son slumped and slid off the sofa as if he had no bones. Curling up in a ball on the floor Kurt didn't even try and stay awake.
This was not helpful.
Burt suddenly smiled, getting an idea. He had to be a good father; after all, he did come up with a way to wake Kurt up. Grabbing his son he prodded him which made Kurt snarl again but he ignored it and steered Kurt into the kitchen, making him sit in a chair. "And don't fall off that." Burt scolded, he didn't want the boy to slide off that piece of furniture. Probably wasn't nearly as comfortable to do and he'd end up getting hurt. Grabbing an extra mug he poured some coffee in it and sat it down on the table in front of Kurt who's eyes were half-mast. "Drink this."
Reaching out, Kurt's head lolled to the side as he grabbed the mug. "Wha's'it?"
"Just drink it, and don't spill. Be careful." Burt said, voice firm. "It's hot."
Kurt took a slow sip and his little face scrunched up, "It don't taste good. At all." He sat it back down.
Of course Burt and Mary both drank their coffee black, but Kurt was a kid and liked sweet things. Black coffee was anything but sweet. Grabbing the mug, he threw a handful of sugar and a dash of milk in it before handing it back. Then he repeated it. And repeated it. In the end, the mug of coffee was a nice light tan color and Burt decided he'd slowly wing his son off the sugar because Hummel's drank their coffee black.
By the time Kurt was done with his one cup of coffee, his eyes were open and he was swinging his legs and telling Burt about how he really likes that thing around Bill Nye the Science Guy's neck and that yesterday was the first time he saw Bill Nye the Science Guy's show and how Bill Nye The Science Guy could do magic with science and that Bill Nye The Science Guy was funny but other than the thing around Bill Nye the Science Guy's neck he didn't dress well at all and he should look into some nicer clothes.
For about a week, Burt would hand Kurt a cup of coffee as soon as he woke up and the boy was always ready for school on time and was in pleasant enough mood. It made things much easier on the now only parent.
Until he got called into the school.
Miss Needs, Kurt's teacher asked how he was coping with his mother's death and if Burt was having him see a child therapist and if said therapist put him on any sort of medication and if said medication gave him side-effects and if one of said side-effects was hyper-activity. Because if not he may very suddenly have ADHD or whatever that new child disorder was and will need to see a child therapist.
Burt said he'd see what he could do to help his son and let him know if it continues.
So, the next morning, Burt only gave him half a glass with a little less sugar in it.
The school never called again.
By the time Kurt was friends with Mercedes, he drank his coffee black and could operate after one cup, but really needed three or four cups to be his regular self.
He also sometimes snarled in the morning.
So, when Mercedes decided to have a sleep over with her friends for her birthday (Kurt, Tina, a few of her cousins and other friends) Burt took her aside. "Listen, Mercedes." He paused, trying to think of how to put this, "It's not that I don't want Kurt to go to your sleep thing."
"Sleep over." She added helpfully.
"Yeah, that." Burt blinked, then continued, "Because I like that he has friends but you have to understand that this is the first time Kurt's really been to someone else's house all night. And you have to understand that Kurt is not a morning person. Understand that he needs coffee as soon as he wakes up."
Mercedes shrugged, "I'm not much of morning person either."
"No. You don't understand." Burt sighed and ran his hand over his face, "My son cannot function without coffee. Make sure you've got some ready for him when he does get up or when you girls wake him."
"Sure, Mr. Hummel." Mercedes smiled as Kurt came into the room. She linked arms with him, not really taking Burt's words to heart. She grinned at her boy as he explained all the things he wanted to do to Rachel's clothes so that they would be completely destroyed and she'd never be able to wear them again. Ever. And how he'd like to give her a make-over just so that he didn't have to see her wear any of that again.
Mercedes didn't take Burt's words to heart and so when morning arrived and she was the first one awake, her groggy eyes looked around and decided to spend some time alone with her best friend. Shaking his shoulder and saying his name quietly so to not wake any of the girls up, she almost jumped back at the growl he let out. "Kurt?" Maybe Burt had been right?
Kurt's eyes opened slightly and he glowered at her. Glowered! Kurt glowered at his best friend! Frowning, Mercedes covered his eyes with her hand and he seemed to calm down. The growl quieted and when she moved her hand, his eyes were closed again. It was almost like he was a wild bear and as long as he didn't see you he was fine. Bending down to his ear, she moved some of his hair out of the way and whispered, "Kurt?" A faint rumble came from the back of his throat, "Kurt? How about we go get you some coffee?"
The rumble stopped and his head moved slightly in a 'yes' motion. A pleased sound replaced the snarl that had threatened to fly from Kurt's lips. "You have to get up and go into the kitchen with me if you want coffee."
"Want s'me coffee." His eyes fluttered and barely opened. "'Cedes?" She smiled at his confusion, "Whe'es th' coffee?"
"In the kitchen. Like I just said." Mercedes now knew that Burt hadn't been lying. Kurt didn't function without coffee. She got further proof when she helped him sit up and stand, himself almost falling on Tina multiple times.
She led him, hands on his shoulders and steering him from behind into the kitchen. It was slow moving as he seemed more similar to a baby horse learning how to walk than a teenage boy who needed caffeine. Setting him down at a chair his head hit the table with a loud thump and he let out a noise of protest but didn't raise his head.
Shaking her head, Mercedes got a mug from the cabinet and poured some of her parents coffee into it. She didn't like coffee, at all. Having tried many ways to drink it (black, lots of sugar and creamer, iced, mostly foam from Starbucks) she just didn't have the stomach for the drink. "Kurt? Do you take anything in your coffee?"
His head raised from the table quickly, she idly wondered if he would get whiplash. "No. Jus' want m'coffee." His hands reached out for the mug and she carefully handed it over and made sure he didn't drop it on himself as he started drinking it.
"Are you an addict?" Mercedes asked as he finished drinking.
"Hm?" He raised an eyebrow. It had been amazing to watch as he went from someone who wouldn't be able to walk without help change into someone who could probably do simple math problems without hurting his brain during one cup. "Is there more?" His voice was so hopeful and so childlike that Mercedes couldn't help but let out a giggle.
"Yes, there's more." She got him another cup and at the end of that one he could hold a conversation fine. Grinning, Mercedes decided she was going to see what happened if she gave him seven cups of coffee. Maybe eight.
Finn smiled at Puck. It was the first time he'd come to hang out since they'd become friends again and Puck had ended up crashing on Finn's floor. One good thing he liked about his friend is that they both woke up early. It was difficult for them to sleep past eight and so they'd both be awake. Unlike with his other friends, Finn didn't end up being awake and waiting for the other to rise, sometimes having to wait for hours.
"Puck," Finn greeted waving his hand and his friend just raised an eyebrow. "morning."
"Yep." Puck agreed. "'M hungry."
Finn was very glad that he no longer shared a room with Kurt, he'd never been happy when Finn would wake him up and now he didn't even need to worry about talking to his friend first thing in the morning. "Cereal?" Finn suggested as they got up and walked into the kitchen. The big, new, shiny, clean kitchen. The kitchen that had hardly been used before the Hudson's moved in. He'd heard some stories about how the Hummel's would maybe buy some of those dinners that you just put in the oven for forty-five minutes and bam, it's done, but apparently on their second try of this the fire department had to be called and they'd bought a new oven.
In a comfortable silence, Puck and Finn got bowls and cereal ready and only spilt the milk slightly. "Hummel still asleep?" Puck asked, his mouth full.
Finn bobbed his head, "Yep. He'll sleep till noon if we let him. Which we should." He made a face. He didn't like waking Kurt up early. He was hard to handle and then once in a while he was really mean. Or he'd have a stage between his first and fifth cup of coffee where he was bitchier than Santana. And that wasn't fun at all. "So, whatever we end up doing, we should try and be quiet."
And they tired. They had tried to be quiet, only they forgot after about an hour and Finn was yelling along with Puck as they played some games on the television which was huge and loud and totally awesome.
"Yes! You loose! You can't defeat Puckzilla! Bow down before me!"
"In your face!"
And then a primal growl was heard and Finn's eyes grew, "Oh shit."
"What the hell is that?" Puck asked, pausing the game as loud thumping and more yelling was heard.
Finn was pale, "We've angered the Morning God." He turned to his friend, "Quick, make sure the sacrificial coffee is still on and if not, get more going and get a cup of it. I'll make sure he doesn't hurt himself."
Puck figured Finn must be talking about Kurt, but he had trouble wrapping his head around the idea that Kurt was making all the noise. Shrugging to himself he went into the kitchen and saw that the pot of coffee was half-full. Grabbing a mug he poured a cup and wondered if he was supposed to put something in it. Cream, sugar, booze. Before he could go looking around for some alcohol to put in it (it'd be hilarious to watch Kurt get drunk) Finn came in and Kurt was over the taller boy's shoulder in a fireman carry.
"Why's th's happe'ing to me?" Kurt asked and as Finn turned around Puck saw that Kurt was laying limply against Finn, and this had to be the first time Puck had seen the other boy without his hair styled.
"Why is what happening to you, Kurt?" Finn asked, pulling out the chair and placing the smaller boy in it. He held him there for a second, making sure Kurt wouldn't tip over.
"Mor'ings." He frowned deeply and slumped in the chair, but stayed on it.
Puck rolled his eyes, "Come on, Hummel, everyone deals with mornings."
Kurt looked up, "But why me?" He looked so dejected that Puck couldn't help but grin.
"Here's your coffee, buddy." Finn moved the mug closer, "Be careful, it's hot."
"Hot. Righ'." Kurt nodded in an exaggerated manner as he pulled the mug closer to himself and giving it a look of pure adoration. "I idolize you coffee. S'good." he lifted the mug to his lips and started drinking it, which was when the other two boys saw the cut on Kurt's arm.
"Kurt you're bleeding." Finn jumped up, the sudden movement throwing the other boy off and he dropped his coffee cup, it fell on him and then shattered on the ground. Finn put a hand on Kurt's shoulder before he followed the cup to the floor, keeping him in the chair.
"My coffee." Kurt cried out, "'N my cup. S'all gone." His head fell on the table. "S'all gone."
"We can get you more." Finn said, kneeling in front of Kurt, "But before we do that we need to get you cleaned up." Now, not only did Kurt have a cut on his arm but probably some light burns from the coffee.
Kurt nodded and Finn had to steer him into the bathroom, before leaving the kitchen he asked Puck to clean up the mess. Puck nodded but was frozen, surprised by the display of Kurt and a Finn who seemed like he knew how to deal with him. Which did make sense, after all, he'd been living with the other boy. Quickly grabbing the larger shards of the mug he threw them away and just put a towel down on the floor before following them to the bathroom.
Puck wasn't too fond of Kurt, but he didn't dislike him. And the kid was surprisingly cool the previous night, kicking their ass at some of the games and being startlingly like a boy. Besides, Puck had always been fascinated by Non Morning People. His whole family were pretty happy in the mornings and Matt was the only person he knew that he would actually classify as a Non Morning Person (never again would he crash at Matt's house) and he wanted to see how this thing with Kurt would play out.
Kurt was laying on the floor, curled up to the best he could with his arm in the air and Finn tending to his wound. "What happened?" Finn asked. Kurt mumbled something into the bathroom rug. "What was that?"
"Th' table was mean 'n bit me." Kurt answered.
"The table did this to you?" Finn sounded surprised, "This cut is from a table?"
Kurt somehow shrugged while still curled up, "Table bit me and then so'ething happened 'n stuff fell and I jus' wanted coffee." He raised his head then, "Where's th' coffee? Finn?" Kurt's voice had a slight panic to it, "Are we out of coffee? Where's it?"
"Calm down, Hummel." Puck walked in and sat down next to him. "You'll get your coffee."
Kurt reached out with his free hand and patted Puck on the cheek, "Are you th' giver of coffee?"
Puck shrugged, "Uh, sorta?" After all, he did pour the first cup.
And suddenly he had a Kurt in his lap as he heard Finn let out a protest of his patient leaving before his arm was bandaged. "Coffee." Kurt demanded.
"Hummel, you're bleeding. Let Finn clean you up then you can get your precious coffee." Puck said, pushing him out of his lap. It had been very sudden and warm. He couldn't help but grin at the look Kurt was sporting. It was clear that Kurt didn't care about his cut and just wanted coffee.
"I want my fucking coffee." Kurt yelled.
Finn quickly grabbed Kurt, "Calm down." He looked at Puck, "Could you bring him a cup? To calm him down?" He certainly had his hands full with a snarling Kurt. Snarling! Kurt was snarling at his almost-step brother!
Puck quickly moved into the kitchen and got another cup, upon coming back into the bathroom he was surprised by the change of it; Finn was now hugging a crying Kurt. Kurt's head popped up, smelling the drink he'd been asking for. Greedy hands reached for it and he visibly stilled as he started drinking it. Finn took this time to smile a thanks at Puck and lift up Kurt's wet shirt to see how bad the burns were. Luckily, his skin was just slightly red and would disappear in less than an hour.
Kurt was more helpful after that. He let Finn bandage his arm and be led back to the kitchen where he sat in the chair with his second (or third, depending on how you'd look at it) cup and Finn took Puck aside. "Sorry about that. Kurt isn't much of a morning person, but he's usually not this bad."
Puck nodded slightly, "That was something."
Finn laughed and patted Puck on the shoulder as Kurt was suddenly in front of them, "Wait." Kurt started, "Did I maul Puck? For coffee? Please tell me I didn't."
Puck smirked, "What can I say? Clearly you wanted me more than you wanted coffee."
And Puck was glad to have his friend back. After that he'd spent quite a bit of time over at the Hudson/Hummel Household. If things were getting to bad at home or if he was bored he'd show up. Often Kurt would be the one who got the door and he'd roll his eyes, sipping on his coffee.
Puck had learned quickly that nothing came between Kurt and his beloved drink. There was always a pot on and both Hummel's would drink it at all hours. Except after eight at night, after all, they needed to sleep sometime.
And then there were those times when Puck would show up and Finn would be out with Rachel, at work, running errands, or something and Kurt would just let him stay. They'd hang out or Kurt would go do something and Puck would do something else. And Puck would crash there at least once a week; Kurt in the mornings would never fail to be amusing. Especially if they had school that morning. Someone (once in a while Puck) would forcefully set Kurt down on a solid surface (depending on how cooperative he was being he might make it to the table or just to the floor of the living room) and get his first cup.
Kurt could literally not function without coffee.
One morning Puck had shown up and no one was there. He shrugged and let himself in and texted Finn, who replied saying that he was with Rachel and asked for Puck to check up on Kurt. Make sure he hadn't fallen and died or something. First thing Puck did was put a pot of coffee on, frowning when he spilt some of the coffee grounds on himself. He wouldn't want Kurt to wake up and have no coffee ready. The one morning he'd been there with that happening would give him nightmares for months.
They'd never make that mistake again.
Deciding that being as it was ten fifty-two it was a good time to check on Kurt. Opening the basement door he peered down and sighed at the sight of his, well, his friend (and had he been surprised when that had happened) sleeping on the stairs. Puck's mind came up with the word 'adorable' but Puck wanted to ignore his mind right then. Walking down to where Kurt lay he sat down next to the sleeping teenager.
Shaking Kurt, Puck said, "You need to wake up."
Kurt mumbled something and moved closer to Puck, curling up against his body. Cuddling! Kurt was cuddling with Puck! "S'warm."
"That's great." Puck said, only slightly amused, "You need to wake up though. Move off the stairs."
"Bu' I'm comfy." Kurt protested, eyes still closed.
"You're asleep on the stairs. You're not comfy and will be sore." Grabbing Kurt's shoulders, Puck pushed him into a sitting position. Who then slumped into Puck's arms as he mumbled something else into his shoulder. Puck shrugged and helped Kurt into the kitchen, it might've taken a length of time, but Puck felt accomplished when Kurt fell into the chair. "Coffee." Puck said, and placed the cup in front of Kurt.
Kurt looked up at Puck, eyes wide, "I love you."
Puck blinked, "Wh-What?" And why did his stomach have to flip-flop when Kurt stated that?
Kurt didn't answer because he was too busy chugging his beverage. "Th' chair isn't all tha' comfy." Kurt frowned at his empty cup. He staggered up suddenly and Puck held his arms out, making sure the other teen didn't fall. "Firs' get more coffee. Secon' move to th' sofa. Third," he paused and shrugged. "third, find a third thin' to do."
Puck helped guide Kurt to the sofa, careful to make sure no coffee was spilt. Sitting down next to him, he turned the television on and had the volume down. Kurt stared at it in a confused manner, clearly still too tired to understand what was happening on the show. Kurt curled up next to Puck, mumbling something about how he smelt like coffee. After Kurt finished his cup, he clapped his hands, "I know wha' my third thing is."
"Get more coffee?" Puck suggested.
"Yes. No." Kurt frowned, "Don't confuse me Noah. I 'ave a plan." He pause and licked his lips, carefully placing his mug on the coffee table before turning back to face Puck. "We are to kiss 'n you are to like it 'n then you can help me ge' dressed as I wanna go out 'n eat lunch with you as a date thingy where I will get more coffee." He nodded.
"You what?" Puck blinked.
Kurt whined, "Do I have to say tha' all 'gain? I don't 'member it word for word." He slumped against Puck.
When Finn came home and screamed like a little girl, he asked Kurt if Puck had bribed him with coffee - was that why they were making out? And Kurt said that he was pretty sure it had been his idea and no bribery happened. Puck then swooped in and stated that he and Kurt were going to lunch on a date and as Finn watched them leave he heard Puck say that "Yes, we're going somewhere that serves coffee." Shake his head and mutter something along the lines of, "After all, you're only interested in me because I'm a stud and smell like coffee."