Authors Note: I'm not a Mulder/Krycek shipper myself but I needed to do something for Helen (freekydisaster18)'s birthday and I knew she would appreciate me venturing into the unknown. Happy birthday, my love. I don't know when this fic is set so just decide for yourself, although it is definitely after 5x14 'The Red and the Black'. Review and tell me what you think if you can.
Spoilers: mention of Mulder and Krycek scene in 'The Red and the Black'
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own the characters, they still belong to Chris Carter and the others behind this magnificent show.
Not Much Longer
"Just shoot me, you know you want to." Krycek shouted up at the slightly older man who was holding the gun to his head.
"Of course I want to shoot you..." Mulder took a deep breath in, tring to work out why he couldn't seem to pull the trigger, "but I can't."
"See, you can guess that I will be able to help you someday." Krycek slowly stood up to face Mulder, looking deep into his eyes before closing the gap between them and softly pressed his lips to Mulder's cheek.
Mulder didn't hesitate to jump back across the room, furiously wiping at the side of his face, "What the hell Krycek? Why do you keep kissing me on the cheek?"
"Come on, you can't deny what's happening between us."
"Exactly you killed my father, you worthless son of a bitch!"
"So you don't feel the chemistry between us?"
"I'm not that way and even if I was, you would be the last person I would want to be with." Krycek's eyebrows raised involuntary as he looked at Mulder, shocked that he was turning him down.
He stumbled to get his words out, "How can you prefer that red-head you work with, to me? She doesn't believe in the bigger truth. Whereas we could be perfect."
Mulder looked at Krycek in disbelief, to even bring up Scully was bad enough but to not even use her name just made Mulder angrier, "Her name is Scully; Dana Katherine Scully. And who wouldn't love her more than you? I don't recall her ever trying to kill my family or myself."
"She doesn't want to believe in anything beyond her own tiny point of view. Together we could do wonderous things, don't you see? We could find the truth and keep it as our own, no one would have to find out and we could use it against the people who are after us."
"You don't get it Krycek! When Scully and I find out the truth it cannot be kept a secret, the world will know. Those people that you say are against us are also the men who you are and have always been working for."
"I'll quit if it means you'll help me uncover it all."
"You say that now but when it comes to it they would probably kill you since you know so much about their project. You wouldn't give your life for the reasons I have."
"I would ignore them. I just wouldn't go to their headquarters any more and lose contact."
"Oh because that wouldn't have you shot dead in your apartment. Do you not see that they will find you wherever you try and hide, no matter if you are with me or not; they will get to you and kill you. You know too much, they wouldn't allow you to jeopardize it."
Krycek shook his head, trying to pretend that what Mulder was telling him wasn't true. He knew it was though. The group would kill him for the information he already knew about them; they had killed others for much less. Mulder turned his back on Krycek and left the small apartment that belonged to the man who had just got a little too personal again.
No matter how much he attempted to always deny what Krycek told him about how close they were - even if they were still sworn enemies - Mulder knew there was a small part of him that acknowledged it to be true. He was tempted to call Scully when he got back to his own place but knew that he would end up telling her that he had met with Krycek after he had recieved a phone call from him, which would cause his friend to chastise him for being so irresponsible and stupid. She would be telling the truth as always but he just couldn't face her at the moment. There was never going to be a time where Mulder would choose to be in a relationship with Krycek but until one of them wsa finally gone he wouldn't be able to have another close bond with anyone since he was just a little too attracted to his ex-partner.
Mulder walked slowly back to his apartment, all the while realising he could still feel where Alex's mouth had been on him, it was as if he had burnt him deep into his flesh. But then it was like that when Scully so much as brushed their hands together by accident. Yes, he loved Scully the most and would be with her always, whether in a romantic way or as they were now, but the first option could never happen until he was over Krycek and that would take a lot of effort. But he had to, and wanted to, try to achieve it all.
It would just take an awful lot of hard work. And although it needed to finish soon, Mulder didn't know if he was ready to change his life so much yet.