Title: Five Times Mike Chang Tried to Serenade Kurt (and One Time it Actually Worked)
Word Count: 7100
Spoilers: Through Journey. AU for junior year.
Summary: Mike tries to woo Kurt with song with full backing of the girls in Glee. (And some of the guys too.)
Notes: Written for a prompt at the Glee Fluff Meme on LJ someone requests Mike sings Kurt a Chinese love song. I somehow took that as "write a 20 page story", so there you go. Many, many thanks go out to crackedaglet for being a terrific beta, all other mistakes are mine.
If you're the type who likes to follow along the fic while listening to the music, go to the very end - I listed out all the songs at the bottom. I just didn't want to spoil anyone who didn't want to know at the start.
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to FOX and its characters belong to Ryan Murphy. Not mine.
Five Times Mike Chang Tried to Serenade Kurt (and One Time it Actually Worked)
When Brittany approached him at his locker after Glee one day and asked if he was interested in hooking up with her again, Mike found his rehearsed "I-just-want-to-be-friends-without-benefits" speech somehow derailed. That made him panic, and when he panicked, he had this habit of rambling. A lot. It was one of the reasons why he liked to keep his mouth shut- it sometimes did stupid things without his permission.
So before Mike knew it, he'd confessed that it really wasn't her, but that he was harboring a crush for someone else. And more alarmingly, he admitted that it was a very male someone (who probably didn't even return his feelings, but Mike kept that part to himself).
(It was Brittany's smile, he decided after the entirely embarrassing debacle. She just looked at you with that smile and you ended up confessing all your deep dark secrets. Like some sort of really awesome superpower.)
What he hadn't expected was for Brittany to look so thoughtful about it.
"Oh," she said, nodding in a very understanding manner. "Well, that explains a lot."
Mike tried not to hyperventilate. His mind raced and he thought back to the beginning of the week - had he been really that obvious when he chose to sit next to Kurt at almost every practice? Or had Brittany noticed that Mike couldn't tear his eyes away from Kurt's ass during their latest Queen number because the male Cheerio had decided to wear black skinny jeans that were so form-fitting they were practically painted on?
"Explains what a lot?"
"Why you and Kurt both refused to let me grope you when we made out. I mean, it's because you're both capital G gays. That makes sense now."
Mike immediately put his hand up to correct her. "Hold up, I'm not sure if I'm actually gay. Maybe… tentatively bi? I still like girls, too. I'm just sort of interested in one particular guy."
"Okay, so who's the guy?"
And there was that disarming smile again.
Before Mike's brain could yell at him, he already mumbled the name.
Brittany positively squealed. "That's so cute! And Kurt likes boys! You two should date, like, right now."
Mike frowned at her, wishing it was that easy.
"Brittany," he said, very patiently. "Just because someone's gay doesn't mean they're automatically interested in someone else who's gay or in this case, tentatively bi. It doesn't work like that. I'm not sure if he's even interested or even would be interested in me."
Brittany frowned and pulled on her ponytail. "I don't understand. Santana's straight except for me and I'm straight except for her, but we're together. What does that make us?"
Mike wasn't sure how to answer that. "Uh..."
Brittany went on, "Whatever, labels are confusing. I think you should sing to Kurt. He thought it was hot when Finn sang that song about not knowing someone's name. And he's in Glee. You should sing to him so he knows you like him and then he can say yes. You could double-date with Santana and me, it'll be fun."
"I'll think about it." Mike lied, smiling at her. He reached for her hand. "So, instead of making out... how about I treat you to an ice cream?"
Brittany agreed easily and Mike filed that experience in the back of his mind under "Mildly Traumatic Coming Out Incident" and cross-referenced it with "Really Awkward Conversations with Brittany" and expected life to continue as it was.
The next day, he was ambushed by all the girls from Glee and ushered into the empty music room. He had been in mid-conversation with Matt and Puck, trying to convince them that Marvel was vastly superior to DC.
Matt had mouthed, "Dude, what the fuck?" at him when they all swarmed him and dragged him off like a pack of wild hyenas.
"Mike Chang!" Rachel greeted him very enthusiastically and pushed him into one of the chairs while all the girls surrounded him.
Mike immediately recoiled. Bad things happened when Rachel Berry was that excited about something.
"…Good morning?" he said nervously.
He looked at the rest of the girls. Most of them appeared to be wearing broad grins. Brittany looked normal and Santana looked a little intrigued, even if she wasn't smiling. Mike was perfectly fine with that- at least Santana wasn't glaring at him.
"What's this about?"
Rachel didn't appear to notice his apprehension. "We have decided to help you."
That just made Mike suspicious. "Help me with…?"
"We think it's great that you've discovered your feelings for our fellow Glee Club member, especially in the midst of such a homophobic environment. I think it's admirable that you're brave enough to be honest about who you are even when other members of your football team are less tolerant. Therefore, we have decided to help you win Kurt Hummel's affections."
Mercedes rolled her eyes. "You're just hoping that Kurt getting a boyfriend would chill him out a bit more and keep him distracted from stealing all your solos," she said disapprovingly, directing her comment to Rachel. She smiled at Mike. "I think it's sweet that you like my boy."
Quinn put her hand on his arm. "Kurt deserves someone nice after all the crap he goes through. I'm glad you like him."
"And I'm just glad that I now have an excuse whenever my mom asks why I'm not dating you," Tina shrugged. "She likes Artie fine, but she's very Korean and since your family's Chinese, you're the next best thing in Lima. She always wants to know why I'm not dating 'that cute Asian boy'. I can finally tell her that I can't date you if you're gay."
Mike turned to Brittany. "You told them?" Then, after a pause, he quickly clarified, "Also, I'm tentatively bi, not gay."
"Was it supposed to be a secret?" Brittany actually looked sad. "I only told Santana. She texted everyone else."
"Yes!" Mike felt vaguely guilty for making Brittany sad, but seriously. "It was supposed to be a secret, this was personal - "
"Chang," Santana interrupted, "Stop yelling at Brittany. We know and there's nothing you can do to change that, so you're just going to have to deal."
Mike noted, a little irritated, that she didn't seem to feel at all guilty for informing the entire cavalry.
Rachel broke the silence, "Brittany told us how she thought it would be a good idea for you to serenade Kurt to express your true feelings. We thought it was a wonderful idea. It's a classic, as well as being very romantic."
"I also know what Kurt likes, so I can tell you if you're heading in the wrong direction," Mercedes offered and patted him on the back. "I can give you a list of his favorite ballads by lunch."
Mike blinked. "Wait, don't I get a say in this?"
Santana flashed him a smug look. "Nope."
The first bell rang, indicating he needed to get to homeroom. Mike sighed, elbows propped up on his knees. "Awesome… just... awesome."
"We'll text you," Rachel promised, before dashing out the door. "The plan is still a work-in-progress!"
By the time Glee Club rolled around, Mike had received an email from Mercedes with the list of songs she'd promised. He barely had a chance to look them over on his cell phone in Chemistry.
Tina, Mercedes, Quinn, and Rachel kidnapped him again at lunch and made him join them, but deterred all the other males by glaring at them when they attempted to sit down.
Mike personally thought they failed at subtlety. Puck and Matt had witnessed what happened that morning, but now other people were getting curious. Artie shot him a questioning look before wheeling himself over to join his AV friends.
After seeing Finn's hurt and betrayed look, Rachel sighed and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. "I'll explain later, I promise."
"Great," Mike thought, feeling his stomach lurch. "Someone else finding out. Fantastic."
"What song do you think you'll sing?" Quinn asked.
Mike poked at his mystery meatloaf and sighed. "Haven't really thought about it."
He ignored Mercedes' sound of displeasure ("Have you even looked at the songs I sent you?") and Rachel's obvious disappointment at the news.
"Well," Rachel said briskly, "You should think of something soon."
Mike stopped pushing his mashed potatoes around his tray to look at her. "Why?"
Tina shook her head. "That'll ruin the surprise. Just trust us."
Mike couldn't help wondering why this was his life.
It happened during Glee practice.
One minute, Rachel was on the risers with the rest of them, perfectly upright. The next, she was on the ground clutching her ankle, groaning.
Mr. Schue was immediately by her side. "Rachel, are you all right? Is it broken? Do you think you need a visit to the hospital or the nurse?"
Rachel smiled bravely, blinking back (fake, Mike was certain) tears. "I-I think I just twisted it. There's no need for the hospital, but I think the nurse would be a good idea. But it's on the other side of the school... so maybe Mike and Kurt could help me?" She batted her eyelashes at Mike and Kurt respectively.
Mike could only assume that she had filled Finn in because he didn't look too concerned about her leg and didn't offer to take her to the nurse's office himself.
If Kurt was surprised that she singled him out to help her to the nurse despite their well-known animosity, he didn't show it.
On their way back to the choir room, Mike's phone vibrated in his jeans.
rachel (03: 24): THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
Mike looked around the deserted hallway. Just because it was empty now, didn't mean someone couldn't walk by...
As if she could somehow sense his hesitation, his phone vibrated again.
rachel (03:25): YOU TWO ARE ALONE! YOUR CHANCE TO SING TO HIM!
Mike hummed nervously. Kurt gave him a strange look, but didn't comment at first. But after nearly a minute, he stopped in his tracks and turned to him, staring.
"Mike, are you humming the Spiderman theme song?"
"I... guess?" Mike paused, then shrugged. He might as well. He started to sing the words, "Can he swing, from a thread? Take a look overhead!"
Kurt looked thoroughly amused by the time they got back. He was even snickering a little. Mike avoided looking at anyone in the eye for the rest of practice.
"You sang the Spiderman theme song at him?" Rachel nearly shrieked. "I pretended to get injured so you could sing something romantic and special to Kurt, not a theme song to some 90s cartoon!"
"I was caught off-guard," Mike protested, wincing at Rachel's shrill voice. "And Kurt seemed to like it." He glanced down at his watch and sighed. He had to get home soon- he hadn't expected Rachel to keep him after practice. Maybe that would be his ticket out of the room and away from Rachel Berry's crazy.
"He was smiling a lot," Quinn commented, very casually. "I guess you could almost consider it to be groundwork."
Mike was growing to like Quinn a great deal.
Rachel frowned. "Just study the list of songs Mercedes sent you. We'll reconvene tomorrow morning before class to restrategize."
Mike somehow managed to convince Puck, Matt, and Artie that the girls wanted him to help them with choreography. Kurt and Finn had been walking by during his explanation, Kurt shot him a curious look and Finn just flashed him a grin and a very unsubtle thumbs up.
"Anyway," Mike finished hastily, "Rachel really wants me to help her and Brittany create something new for an all-girls number. I'm going to meet them in the auditorium before school so we can brainstorm for some ideas."
"Better you than me," Puck shrugged. "When Berry starts going off on how everything is wrong, just tune out and nod every now and then. Say shit like 'yes' and 'you're absolutely right'. That's how I got through all my phone conversations we were dating. Not sure if that'll translate well to conversations in person, though."
When Mike reached the auditorium, Rachel and Mercedes were in the middle of some loud argument so he took a seat in the first row next to Tina.
"I spent countless hours with my iTunes library picking out the perfect song!" Rachel huffed. "I think it's perfect for Mike."
Mercedes glared back, crossing her arms. "And I spent time putting together a list of songs that I know Kurt likes. Since I'm his best friend, I think he should sing something that would make Kurt's legs go weak."
When it was clear that the two of them had been going on about this for a while and were completely ignoring his presence, Mike leaned over and whispered, "Where are Brittany and Santana?"
Tina whispered back. "Santana said they don't plan to be around for the boring planning sessions. They just want to watch the show."
"Oh." Mike nodded, thinking that actually made a lot of sense. Santana and Brittany wouldn't be interested in any of the boring parts—like watching Rachel and Mercedes yell at each other until they were blue in the face. "I don't suppose they—" he jerked his head toward the stage where Rachel and Mercedes were still arguing over song choices—"will ask me for my opinion?"
Quinn sat down next to him primly, smoothing her skirt. "I wouldn't count on it if I were you. You seem surprisingly cheerful about Rachel and Mercedes taking over."
"Well," Mike reasoned, "While you are all lovely individuals… collectively, I find you girls terrifying. Trying to convince Rachel to change her mind when she's set on something is hard, but adding Mercedes, who adores Kurt and is actually willing to try to set me up with her best friend who've I been crushing on for months now? I know I don't talk much, but I'm not dumb. I'm getting a pretty good deal here."
"And you have Quinn and Mercedes' blessings," Tina chimed in.
"That too. So, the ball's in my court now."
"Sports metaphor," Quinn commented wryly, "Why am I not surprised?"
"If you like, I could express my feelings through interpretive dance," Mike joked, shaking his head. "And honestly, I was a little annoyed at Brittany for telling everyone but I think this is working out for the better. Before Brittany, only Matt had an idea that I was interested in Kurt and we just sort of skirted around the topic."
Eventually, Rachel and Mercedes demanded to know which song he knew better. He immediately answered, "You Don't Know Me".
Rachel squealed excitedly. Mercedes frowned.
Mike shrugged. "My mom likes Michael Bublé."
"That settles it. Mike, I printed out the lyrics to the song at the computer lab this morning. I expect you to memorize them by Glee this afternoon because that's when we will put our plan in action!"
"And I suppose they're not going to tell me what the plan is either," Mike mumbled, under his breath.
Tina patted his shoulder reassuringly.
The plan, as it turned out, involved keeping Kurt in the practice room after Glee.
That had been the easy part; Kurt usually took his time packing up his stuff so Mike just lingered while all the girls hastily dragged their male counterparts out of the room.
Rachel had already asked the band kids to stay for an extra five minutes, so it wasn't like they were exactly alone but Mike usually forgot they were in the room most of the time.
The hard part was getting Kurt to listen to him sing.
Mike figured that the direct approach would probably be best. He waited until Kurt gathered up all his stuff before asking, "Say Kurt, would you mind doing me a small favor?"
Kurt looked up, surprised and a little wary. Mike winced when he saw how guarded Kurt became after noticing they were the only ones left. "I suppose that'll depend on the favor."
"It's nothing big," Mike hastily reassured him, crossing the room to the piano. Giving Kurt space would make him relax a bit and if the plan turned out to be a disaster, then he could make a quick getaway. "I was wondering if you could listen to this song I've been working on."
Kurt didn't say anything, but he put his messenger bag down and took his seat, crossing his legs.
Encouraged, Mike nodded at one of the band kids and the music started.
Mike spent part of his lunch period on YouTube studying dance moves from the Swing era (he figured that he was going to make some big romantic gesture in song, he might as well go all out and do it right) but he didn't have time to practice. He figured that since improvisation was always his strong point, he didn't have much to worry about.
"I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so. And anyone can tell. You think you know me well. But you don't know me," Mike sang, a little coyly.
He was relieved that the song felt just right, it fit in the pocket of his voice so he didn't have to strain for any of the notes. The song was one of his mom's favorite so he knew the lyrics by heart. And okay, if someone were to press a gun to his head—he would admit that he also had a soft spot for this song too.
But mid-way through the chorus, Mike realized that Kurt wasn't getting it. He seemed entertained by the song and choreography, which was indicated by his adorable head-bopping, but he didn't understand Mike was singing to him.
When Mike finished, Kurt merely cocked his head and smiled. "That's a good song for your voice. I'm pleasantly surprised. Mr. Schue needs to use you for more songs."
Mike's heart sank. "Thanks."
"I bet Brittany would like the song too. You should sing it to her sometime."
"She's already heard it," Mike said, not wanting Kurt to get the wrong idea. "I mean, she actually helped with some of the choreography."
Kurt frowned, perplexed. "Were you planning on showing this to Mr. Schue? Don't get me wrong, I think it's fantastic. A throw back to old Hollywood when leading men and singers actually had talent. But I'm not sure if this is what he has in mind for a new number for Sectionals…"
Somehow, Mike was entirely unsurprised when he saw most of the girls loitering outside the choir room. He didn't need to see their stricken expressions to know that it was going to be a lot harder than he thought.
They practically dragged him to the auditorium.
Rachel was nearly beside herself.
"Hooow?" Rachel moaned. "How could Kurt think that was platonic? It took me ages to find the perfect song. We even had a band and music and he was still completely oblivious! Wasn't he paying attention to the lyrics? The lyrics were important!"
"That's because you should have used one of my songs," Mercedes retorted. "If he had sung any of the songs on my list, Kurt would have been all over him in a minute. Ray Charles just isn't going to cut it."
Rachel snapped back. "And I would like to point out for the third time that no matter how you look at it, Mike's voice is not suited for R& B!" Then, she added a little belatedly, "No offense, Mike."
Mike waved it off, already accustomed to Rachel's general lack of awareness. For her to recognize that she said something offensive and apologize was something of a rarity. "None taken." He went back to his AP U.S. History textbook and was not surprised when Quinn and Tina joined him with their own work. Tina made flash cards while Quinn did her reading for her English class.
"You know," Tina said thoughtfully, pen poised above index card on the XYZ Affair. "It might have worked better if Kurt knew you were interested in boys."
"Boy, as in one. As in, not plural," Mike corrected. "And I suppose that would help, but I'm not sure how to bring it up in conversation. I can't exactly say 'Hello, I'm Mike Chang. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?'"
Quinn laughed. "No, that's Puck's style. Terrible pick-up line aside… that would at least show you were interested in him. I guess you need to be more direct with Kurt."
"I sang him a love song, I thought you couldn't get me more direct than that," Mike pointed out.
Tina shrugged. "It probably never occurred to him that you were interested in him in that way. It sounded like he thought you were straight and you're dating Brittany."
"I guess? But he's wrong. I'm pretty sure the only reason why Santana doesn't hate me is because I'm nice to Britt and don't want to get with her. Don't get me wrong, I like her - but we're just friends."
Rachel looked frazzled. "Well, we'll need to figure out a way for someone to inform Kurt that you are hetero-flexible –" Mike was relieved to know that everyone else winced at the term, "- and that you and Brittany are not together, in case he still hasn't figured that out. But as they say—the third time's the charm! There's absolutely no reason why you can't win Kurt over this time since we're more thoroughly prepared."
This time, Mercedes handed him the lyrics. "We decided as a group that you sounded too good on the song today that I'll be a crime for you not to sing something similar. And since you know Bublé, we don't have to worry about you forgetting the lines and end up serenading my boo with Spiderman lyrics."
Apparently they were never going to let that go.
"There's a mention of rainbows," Tina said, looking over his shoulder. "You really can't get much gayer than rainbows. If this doesn't get through to Kurt, I'm not sure what will."
Mike trusted Tina's word for it; he stuffed the lyrics into his bag without even checking the song title. "Are you going to tell me when I'm supposed to sing to him? Or where? Because some advanced notice would be really nice."
"Let us do all the work," Quinn reassured him. "We'll come up with something."
When Rachel announced to the club that she wanted to add more "old school classics from the Rat Pack era" to their club's repertoire, Mike felt a sharp kick in the shin from Tina and took that as his cue. It helped that the band kids had started up the music for "Call Me Irresponsible" and Rachel had her crazy eyes trained on him.
Mike offered Rachel his hand and she accepted, leading him in a simple waltz.
"Call me irresponsible, yes I'm unreliable, but it's undeniably true, I'm irresponsibly mad for you," Mike crooned, soft, smooth, and sweet.
"Keep your eyes on him," Rachel hissed, "And watch your breath support!"
"I don't want to pull a Finn and freak him out," Mike whispered back during a brief jazz band interlude, but when Rachel accidentally-on-purpose stepped on his left foot, his gaze immediately searched for Kurt when he got to, "Call me unpredictable, tell me that I'm so impractical, rainbows I'm inclined to pursue -" he let his voice climb in intensity and volume and smiled, before finishing the last of the song, "Go ahead, call me irresponsible, yes I'm unreliable, but it's undeniably true, I'm irresponsibly mad for you."
Mike saw something in Kurt's eyes flicker for a moment and hoped that he got the message this time.
Rachel let go of Mike's hand. "Thoughts? She chirped brightly, after everyone was done applauding.
Brittany raised her hand. "I don't see how your song or dance relates to The Breakfast Club at all."
After Schue dismissed everyone, Mike didn't have to wait long to see his latest attempt had worked. Everyone was trailing out the door when he felt someone's presence next to him.
Kurt was standing a few feet away, looking more uncertain and awkward than Mike had ever seen him.
"Yes?" Mike ventured.
"That was a very interesting song choice," Kurt commented, studying him with a strange expression. "Yesterday you sang Ray Charles, today you sang Bobby Darin. That was… unexpected."
"I have an old man's taste in music."
Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"
"Actually, no. But the songs were pretty cool."
"Forgive me if I'm barking up the wrong tree here… but were you singing that song to me?" Kurt's expression changed from wary to bewildered at Mike's nod. "But -why? I'm afraid I don't understand why you're doing this."
Since Kurt kept looking at him with those pretty eyes of his and appeared genuinely confused opposed to completely creeped out, Mike figured that honesty was probably the best policy in the situation. "Because I like you and I think I've liked you since you taught our football team the Single Ladies dance. I think you're cute, funny, and smart. And I like how you're sweet to people you care about, like Mercedes."
Something in Kurt's expression shifted, he looked more contemplative but still a little unconvinced. "I wasn't expecting that." Kurt's eyes were still very wide, he looked like he was mulling over words.
"Brittany and I aren't dating," Mike added, helpfully. "We're just friends. We actually spend most of our time watching and trying to copy moves from SYTYC."
"But—" Kurt started, stopped, and then tried again. "First of all, I'm really flattered." Mike perked up, that was encouraging. "However, I have to admit that I'm also really confused because until your performance today, I assumed you were interested in girls." His eyes narrowed, "And despite my interest in fashion and GaGa, I'm not actually a girl."
"Rachel called me 'hetero-flexible'—" Mike used air quotes and watched Kurt grimace at the term, "—yeah, believe me, I know. I'm not completely straight, but I'm also not gay." Mike gave Kurt a half-smile, "Or you could even say that I'm—"
"If you say 'Hummel-sexual' I will punch you in the face. Or Puck, since he's the one who coined it and wouldn't stop saying it for a week. But you're closer."
Mike wisely chose keep silent.
Kurt sighed. "This isn't some stupid prank from the football team, is it?"
"Nope. You can check with Mercedes if you want. Actually, any of the girls will vouch for me. It's why they keep hounding me. They found out that I liked you and have been trying to get me to win you over with the power of love songs."
Kurt breathed. "Well, okay. This also explains why they kept talking about you at lunch today… and why you've been acting sort of strange and have been unnaturally talkative lately.
"To be honest, I'm not sure how to respond right now. So, give me some time to think about it? I also have Cheerios practice in five minutes and I'm already late."
Mike nodded. "Sure. But this isn't a no, right?"
"It's not," Kurt said quickly, "It's a 'Coach Sylvester will kill me if I'm late' thing. This just means I owe you a rain-check to finish our conversation some other time when I have things figured out." He gave Mike a tentative smile before leaving.
Mike was seriously getting too used to the 'getting-ambushed by girls' thing: they had been waiting for him in the hallway.
"Well, what did he want?" Mercedes wanted to know. "What went on in there?"
Mike smiled brightly. "He's a little confused and said he needed time to think, but he didn't say no. Kind of understandable since I sang him a love song in front of the entire Glee Club."
Rachel squealed. "That's great! This is perfect—he's intrigued, but still understandably cautious. He knows you have our support, so this isn't going to be something out of a terrible Freddie Prinze Jr movie. All you have to do is figure the next song and I'm pretty sure Kurt will fall for you, just like that."
"I have a couple songs that might work," Quinn volunteered, already rummaging through her bag for her iPod.
"Actually," Mike said, grinning. "I think I know the perfect song. Cheerios' practice will be over in a couple of hours so I think I'll just ask Mr. Schue if I can borrow the practice room until then. I also have a small favor to ask you guys…"
He was amused when Rachel, Tina, Quinn, and Mercedes all nodded before he could even tell them what he had in mind.
Mike's brilliant plan involved getting Kurt back to the choir room after practice. The girls were more than happy to track down the Cheerios for him: Santana and Brittany were more than willing to help, provided that he treats them to Breadstix. He told them to use any means necessary, so he was not surprised when Kurt stumbled into the room looking terribly, terribly confused at the sight of him.
Kurt's cheeks were flushed, and hair was still damp from his shower. He took one look at Mike and instantly whirled around to face Santana, "You told me there was a fashion emergency," he said stiffly. "Mike actually dresses better than Finn and most of the guys in this school so obviously, we need to work on your definition of 'fashion emergency'."
"We lied." Santana shrugged her shoulders. "Britt and I are just here in case you and Mike start to make out because that's hot."
"You're both really good kissers," Brittany said, very earnestly. "It'll be a very nice first kiss. And an even nicer make-out session."
"Thanks Britt," Mike said, wryly. "And I'd prefer not to have an audience when I sing to Kurt, this time."
After Brittany pulled Santana out the door, Mike turned to Kurt and gestured to a chair. "You might as well make yourself comfortable."
Kurt eyed Mike warily but gingerly took a seat. "What's this about another song?"
Instead of answering, Mike sat down at the piano and started playing, grateful that the song wasn't too hard for him to pick up.
"I'll never talk again, oh boy you've left me speechless, you've left me speechless, so speechless…"
When he was finished, Mike looked over to Kurt, who again looked incredibly amused but not too terribly besotted. His lips were twitching, as though he was trying hard not to smile.
"Well?" Mike said. He automatically started playing the Jeopardy theme song.
Kurt was biting his bottom lip to keep from laughing. "You do realize that this song is about a girl getting out of a terrible relationship, yes?"
"Well, yeah." Mike raked his fingers through his hair and offered Kurt a sheepish smile. "But some of the lyrics weren't too far off. I mean, you do make me speechless and I thought I deserved some props for figuring out how to play this in two hours. I know my piano teacher would be impressed – I don't think I've ever been so motivated to learn a song before."
At the mention of his piano teacher caused Kurt to be interested. "I didn't know you played until now."
"Part of the obligatory Asian-American experience," Mike said, laughing a little. I've been taking lessons since I was a kid. I'm not amazing or anything, but it's good enough to show off for relatives."
"Hmm." Kurt picked up his bag. "Well, this was… enlightening." He frowned a little and gave him a tentative wave. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Mike."
A few days after Mike serenaded Kurt with quite possibly the most inappropriate Lady GaGa song in the world, he decided that he needed to take it up a notch.
Kurt still hadn't given him an answer, which could have been good or bad, depending on how paranoid Mike was feeling.
On one hand, it could mean that Kurt was thinking it over seriously and didn't want to make any rash decisions.
Or it could mean that he had simply forgotten.
Mike did some research. He called up Mercedes and Quinn and bought them drinks at Starbucks to ensure that they were feeding him correct information before he decided to put his plan into action.
Kurt looked adorably confused when he found Mike standing next to his car in the parking lot with his duffel bag on top of the Navigator.
"Here," Mike said, pressing his earphone-less iPod Touch into Kurt's hand before Kurt could ask him why he was there or accuse him of stalking him. "The volume's up, it'll be in speaker mode."
Confused, Kurt complied. The instrumental version of one of his favorite guilty pleasure songs started and his expression changed abruptly, "Wait, this is…"
Mike smirked a little before grabbing Kurt's free hand and getting down on one knee. "You're just too good to be true, can't keep my eyes off you…"
"Oh my god, you're joking."
Mike, unfazed, continued singing, causing Kurt to be all too aware that they were in a public space. Sure, it was after school and most of the students had already left – but anyone could see. And Mike wouldn't let go of his hand!
"I love you baby, and if it's quite alright, I need you, baby, to warm a lonely night…"
Kurt considered chucking Mike's iPod at him, but managed to restrain himself until the song was finished.
It was the longest three minutes of his life.
"You do realize that you're not Heath Ledger right?"
"Mercedes told me 10 Things was one of your favorite movies," Mike said, cheerfully, finally letting go of Kurt's hand. "I thought it was worth a shot. Plus, Heath Ledger. Even the director of the movie said he would have gone gay for him."
"I'm not sure if I should be horrified or impressed that you know that. You are also annoyingly persistent."
"I like to think of it as 'I know exactly who I want', but not in a creepy Edward Cullen way. Although please tell me if I ever cross the line. I haven't been completely inappropriate, have I?"
Kurt blinked. "Rachel and Finn have aired their dirty laundry and relationship drama in Glee more times than I can count. And last year I made the mistake of serenading Finn with 'A House is Not a Home' in front of the entire club under the guise of it being my 'assignment of the week'. I don't think anyone paid attention to the song because they were suffering through second-hand embarrassment."
"I was paying attention," Mike replied. At Kurt's eyebrow raise, Mike frowned. "No, really, I was. I don't want to make you uncomfortable – Rachel was telling me how when she had a thing for Mr. Schue, she snuck into his apartment, cleaned his kitchen, and then served him venison."
"… I'm pretty sure Rachel wins this round," Kurt decided. "But that doesn't change that the song was a lot more impressive in the movie. Heath Ledger at least had a marching band."
Mike looked wounded.
"Not that I didn't appreciate it all the same," Kurt said hastily, feeling a bit guilty. It wasn't like he didn't like having a cute football jock serenading him.
Mike looked at him, hopeful. "So, and the verdict is…?"
Kurt sighed and opened his car door. "I still haven't made up my mind and it'll be unfair for me to answer you right now when I'm not sure. And I swear I'll let you know as soon as I know what my answer is."
Mike considered Kurt's words.
Well, it still wasn't a flat-out no.
Finn had been really, really supportive on the entire 'I-have-a-crush-on-your-step-brother' thing.
Like, really supportive. Completely unsubtle thumbs up in hallways, random bro punches, and overly-eager-to-help supportive.
Mike privately thought it was a little weird and kept waiting for the other shoe to drop because shouldn't Finn be over-protective and start threatening him about possibly breaking his stepbrother's heart? But Rachel claimed she had talked to Finn about the two of them and "he was behind them 100%".
Mike didn't laugh because he was not a twelve-year-old boy.
(But it had been a near thing.)
So when Kurt still hadn't given him an answer a week after re-acting a scene from a wildly successful 90s rom-com, he figured he might as well utilize all his resources and asked Finn to text him the next time Kurt was home alone.
finn (5:30): everyones out 2night except 4 kurt
finn (5:35): good luck dude
finn (5:43): but dont do anything on my bed chang. srsly dont. not cool.
Kurt didn't seem too surprised to see him standing at his door, but his eyes grew wide when he noticed Puck.
"Mike, what's he doing here?"
Puck nodded at Kurt. "Sup, Hummel."
"Puck's here because I can't play guitar," Mike explained patiently. "And he owes me a favor."
Kurt continued goggling at the two of them.
Mike waited patiently.
Finally, Puck sighed. "Could you invite us in before your neighbors start setting up chairs and selling raffle tickets?"
Wordlessly, Kurt opened the door and stepped aside to let them in. Mike had toed his shoes off at the door, but Puck hadn't bothered—he headed straight to the living room where he made himself at home on the couch while Kurt and Mike stood awkwardly.
"Well, gentlemen?" Kurt arched an eyebrow expectantly, more than a little curious.
It had taken a few days for Mike to narrow it down to one song without any of the girls interfering.
Matt had told him to stop obsessing, the song was fine, but Mike still hadn't been sure.
He finally ended up asking Puck for a second opinion since Puck's track record of wooing girls with songs was currently 2:0. Mike had decided to make Puck listen to his favorite choice last. The minute Puck heard the first verse and chorus, he confirmed it—"No idea what this dude's singing about, but if this song doesn't get you into Hummel's pants, nothing will."
The lyrics were the hard part, but Mike figured that if he screwed up too badly – Kurt wouldn't be able to tell. He could pretend to be Jay Chou and mumble all the words if he had to—that was the beauty of singing a song in a language Kurt didn't know. ("Also, that's really hot. Santana sings to me in Spanish sometimes," Brittany had told him helpfully, when he told her about his plan.)
Midway through the song he already knew he wouldn't have any problems— he already had Kurt.
He knew what Kurt looked like whenever he was caught up in a performance (whether it's Mercedes belting Dream Girls or the girls singing the hell out of Madonna) but Mike had only seen him wear this particular expression once before – when Finn was rocking out to the Doors.
The dazed eyes and the flushed cheeks?
Hell yes. He could totally work with this.
"Tian chang di jiu shi shen hua wo zhi dao …dan wo que tian zhen pan wang, wo sha ma? ('[love] as eternal and unchanging as the universe' is a myth, I know/But I naively hope that it is true /I'm foolish, huh?)" Mike finished the last few notes more confidently than when he started.
Puck took one look at the two of them and hastily made his excuses. "See you tomorrow."
Mike watched Puck leave, then turned his attention back to Kurt. "Well?"
"That was… good." Kurt swallowed, tugging on the collar of his shirt. "I have to admit that I didn't understand it at all, but I can only assume it's a very romantic Chinese ballad."
"It's actually a pretty cheesy 90s love ballad, but I like your version better." Mike grinned charmingly. "So, what do you say? Does this warrant a dinner and a movie at least?"
"I suppose that's only fair since you put some much effort into this," Kurt said, pretending to look superior, but his smile gave him away. He didn't protest when Mike encroached on his personal space to press a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. Mike pulled away after a few seconds, before Kurt's brain had time to register what was happening and respond.
Mike blinked innocently. "So I was thinking we could see Inception on Friday since it has awesome reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and it's a crime heist action flick. And there's also Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a suit."
Mike added, "I'm a fan of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He was good in 10 Things I Hate About You and 500 Days of Summer."
"Apparently you like films where the male lead feels some sort of compelling need to serenade their romantic love interest," Kurt grumbled, looking slightly put-upon. "But I don't think it's genetically, morally, or ethically possible for me to refuse a movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a suit."
"Great," Mike said brightly. He didn't protest when Kurt closed the distance between the two of them, cupped his chin, and initiated the kiss this time.
"I can't believe you serenaded me with a Chinese love song."
"I can't believe it worked." Mike yelped when Kurt punched him lightly in the shoulder. "I'm glad it worked, it took me forever to memorize the lyrics."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Cry me a river. Eight words for you: Celine Dion. Nationals. Fourteen minute medley. In French."
"True, but Mandarin is hard."
At Kurt's curious look, Mike sighed. "The song was in Mandarin," he explained. "My family speaks Cantonese and I only know enough Mandarin to accidentally proposition a hooker. I'm only mentioning the last part because it happened once."
"So essentially, what you're saying is that you learned a song in a different language so I would consider going out with you?"
"Well, if you put it that way… I guess so?"
Kurt looked at him for a long moment, considering. "I think that wins you a second date on principle alone." He smiled, "Maybe it's just me, but I think it's a little ridiculous that we're making out in the living room when I have my own room in the basement."
"Please, lead the way."
Later, when Kurt went up to get Diet Coke for the two of them, Mike took out his phone to send a quick text to Brittany.
mike (8:34): hey you were right about kurt & me being good kissers :D
brittany (8:37): well duh you both learned from me
brittany (8:40): s says she wants pix or didn't happen but i believe u
Tracklist for this fic (order of introduction):
1. Spiderman theme song
2. Michael Bublé-You Don't Know Me
3.Bobby Darin-Call Me Irresponsible
4.Lady GaGa- Speechless [Acoustic]
5. Can't Take My Eyes Off You [Muse Cover] [Heath Ledger cover]
6. Wang Leehom-Gong Zhuan Zi Zhuan [live acoustic]
All the songs can be found on YouTube and I highly recommend checking them out.
Reviews are loved and appreciated.