Hey all. I know you guys wanted an update to What If? but at the moment, I've hit writters block. So, I decided to drop my tak on Reptilia's challenge for Harry and Friends. I'll use this as a fun creative outlet. Be warned, the updates will be sporadic, but they'll come. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the new story. Humor, Love, Adventure, and finding out just what 42 has to do with the meaning of life. Well...not that last part, but still, it'll be a good read.
One Last Chance
Chapter I: Welcome To The Afterlife
Jonathan Sheppard was having a good morning. His outbox was full and his inbox was empty. His charges were doing well and nothing had gone wrong in the last few weeks. However, his record would sadly be broken. He was just returning from his lunch break when his assistant walked up to him nervously.
"Miss. Engleman, what's wrong?"
"Umm…You have a client in your office."
John blinked in confusion as he ran through his list mentally.
"Odd. No one should have arrived till next Tuesday. Who is it?'
She took a short pause and John knew he wasn't going to like it.
"Potter. Harry Potter."
Harry looked around the room in confusion as he tried to figure out just where he was. Last thing he remembered was fighting Voldemort. He had sent a reducto at the evil bastard that just missed the killing curse that had been aimed at his person. He smirked smugly as he remembered the red beam tearing through his skull. He'd won. He frowned as he realized that the curse had hit. So, was he dead? If so…where was this? His musing were cut short as a door opened behind him. Harry glanced behind him to see a man in his thirties, wearing a dark blue suit and carrying two folders, one somewhat large, the other barely held closed. The man placed the folders down and sat in his chair and gave Harry an irritated look for a few seconds before speaking with an annoyed voice.
"Well…Mr. Potter. I see you've wound up in my office…again. And to answer your questions…Yes. Your dead. Do you like doing this? Making my life harder? Your worse than Patton."
Harry looked sad for a moment before he realized what the man had said.
"Again? What the hell do you mean?" He questioned.
The man pulled the thicker folder to him and opened it, skimming through a few pages before stopping somewhere in the beginning.
"Let's see….Your first year at Hogwarts you were killed by Ronald Weasley in your giant chess game. He used you as a sacrifice so he could try to take on Voldemort. He failed. Second year…You looked into the Basilisks eyes even though the book said it would kill you. You just were an idiot then." John gave him a disapproving look at this point. "Third year when you jumped in front of Lupin and your friends when he changed. The claw through the gut taught you how stupid that was. Fourth year…You zigged when you should have zagged and the Horntail had a Harry snack."
Harry shuddered at this remark. John continued.
"Fifth year. I honestly have no idea how this happened, but you tripped and fell into a dementors kiss. Your normally not so klutzy. Sixth year has no entries, thankfully. Your seventh year has two. One…when you failed to remind Wormtail of his life debt to you. And lastly…number seven. You, with your superb reflexes and outstanding skills, failed to dodge a killing curse. Now…normally, we'd send you back and wipe your memory of our little meeting and send you on your way."
Harry saw that he wasn't going to be released as easy as John rubbed his temple briefly before turning his attention back to Harry.
"However, you are a special case. You see, when a client reaches the seventh death, the Reaper in question is given one more chance to get his or her client through their life and to fulfill his destiny. If the client dies again, they get gate duty for a thousand years and never admitted back to the Reaper Corps. I'd rather forgo that, thank you." Harry looked at him apologetically as John continued. "And you sir have just landed me mark number seven. So now I have to take a more active role and get you through this one alive. Now, lets see what fate had intended for you." He said as he opened the second folder.
"Excuse me…but what are those folders you have?" Harry asked.
John kept his gaze locked on the folder in his hands as he answered
"The one I have in my hands is your intended life. Pretty much what Fate had wanted for you, including Destiny's input, mainly for important things that have to happen. The one still on my desk is your actual life. As you can see, it's rather thick. It contains everything, even each of your other deaths that you could have avoid by using that thing between your ears.'
"And just what the bloody hell was supposed to happen?" Harry asked hotly.
"Well…lets see…You were supposed to reach two hundred or so years of age, marry your soul mate, kill that bastard who's been avoiding me, and to pretty much just enjoy life." He said as he set the folder down.
Harry had a few questions, but the first one that he asked was…
"Soul mate? Who is my soul mate?" He asked bewildered.
John looked thoughtful for a moment.
"What was the name Sam gave me? Ranger? Danger? Granger!" He snapped his fingers. "Some Granger girl…I think her name was Shakespearian. Ophelia? No, that's not right….starts with an H. Why didn't I write it down?" He stated as he began looking over his desk for any clue to the name.
"Hermione?" Harry offered helpfully.
John nodded his head.
"Yeah. That's the one. Hermione Granger. She was supposed to be with you. But, add in a love potion, a few flashes of flesh and your humans lose your damn minds. Tell me, how does a girl who looks like your mother scream 'future wife'?" He asked the 17 year old male in front of him.
Harry had the decency to look embarrassed.
"She smelled nice." He muttered.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Now, on to business. My boss has an offer. His name is Quinn, head reaper. Nice guy but he carries a wickedly large scythe and a temper to match. Now, his offer is to send you back, but this time, with all your memories."
"What's that catch?" Harry asked.
"One, get rid of the Weasleys. Specifically, Ron, Ginny, and Molly. All three are not good for your health. Ron will poison you, Ginny will douse you in love potion, and Molly will brew both with out a second thought. So, avoid those three. Arthur, Fred, George, Bill, and Charlie are good to go. Percy is a stupid, stubborn bastard so ignore him."
Harry blinked owlishly.
"Fine. Let me break it down. Molly wants you to marry her little princess. She thinks it'll be good for you and the money is a plus. Ron wants to poison you after you marry Ginny so all your fortunes go to the Weasleys and he can be lazy and eat all he can. Molly will brew the love potion for Ginny and the poison for Ron under the assumption it's for summer homework. See?"
Harry felt anger as he took in this information. John flipped a page and read over it before nodding his head.
"Also…dump the old man. He is manipulative and just flat out senile. The less control over you he has, the better it'll be for you."
Harry nodded his head in agreement. He'd seen first hand what John was telling him.
"Also, their bringing in another person. His name is Cameron Mitchell from Fateful Mishaps. Corny, I know, but we didn't chose the names of our offices. Now, for your rules…hang on…Ah! Found them. One, no one but the Granger Girl can be told of this. Two…USE COMMON SENSE! And that's it." He said as he closed the folder.
"Wait…why wasn't this offered before? You know, go back with my memories and such?"
"Simple last person who did caused way too much trouble. Stupid bastard enjoyed using the knowledge to his advantage and claimed it was a vision of the future." John explained, closing the folder.
"Who was it?"
"You really don't want to know. Quinn is still pissed at him. Now, we have to go meet Cam and Sam at the embarkation room."
Harry followed John from the office and through several halls until the came to a room with an attractive blonde with long hair and in her early thirties along with a man with short brown hair, both clad in a green uniform of some sort.
"Samantha Carter, Cameron Mitchell, meet Harry Potter. Again."
"Nice to meet you Harry. I'm Cameron and I'll be back seating this little adventure as an observer for the Fateful Mishaps office." He grasped Harry's hand briefly.
"I'm Samantha and I'm in charge of the return of those who die prematurely."
Harry looked over at the huge ring with wonder.
"What's that?" Harry asked.
"That, is the device we use to send people back to the living world. In a nut shell, it creates a wormhole through time and dimensions to any point we want. That includes the specified time as well." Sam explained.
"Wicked. So when am I going back?" He asked.
"According to what we have on file, your biggest impact will be your fourth year. Sadly, you'll have to deal with all that bullshit again. But don't worry, you'll be ready for it."
"That and," Sam interrupted with a grin. "You'll be able to take Miss Granger to the Yule Ball this time around."
"You know, it took me a few minutes to remember her name." John stated.
"Why didn't you write it down?" Sam asked.
John decided to change the subject.
"Alright. Now, Harry. We're sending you back with Occlumency already ingrained in you, so your safe on that front. Also, you don't have Voldie in your head anymore. Quinn wanted the piece for himself, but for what, I don't know and I really didn't want to ask.. And you get to keep you memories…as soon as you sign this." He said as he produced a small contract no more than three pages.
Harry took it and read through it several times before he looked up at John.
"What do 'reviews' mean?" He asked.
"Simple. I come by and tell you how your doing and maybe drop a few suggestions. And give you any updates from our end."
Harry looked back at the contract and shrugged. What did he have to lose? He took the pen and signed his name before handing the contract back to John who nodded.
"Alright. Everything is in order. Sam, punch it up."
The woman nodded and tapped in commands and with in moments, the ring was active with a shimmering pool of light. John nodded to Harry and the seventeen year old boy took a deep breath before walking into the light. John looked at the other two with a thoughtful look.
"Funny. He's going into the light."
Sam just shook her head while Cameron looked disappointed.
"Is that the best you can do?"